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  1. #1
    actinomycetes raindancing's Avatar
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    Default My bro - aspergers and deaf

    I've been trying to type my bro for I don't know how long, with no luck, so I'm hoping maybe someone here can give me a hand.

    He is 20 years old, diagnosed with Aspergers and he was born deaf. Probably the hardest part of typing him is his lack of communication skills; he uses ASL and written english to communicate. His ASL is better than mine, but still not at a native speakers level (for two reasons, first he refused to try and learn anything until he was around 8 yrs old, second he wasn't put into a full deaf school until middle school.), and his written english is quite sub par.

    Bearing these in mind, I'll try and tell you a little about him.

    First of all, he is VERY black and white in all of his thinking (as far as I can tell), grey areas just do not seem to exist in his mind.

    He finished high school last year with a modified diploma (because of reading level), is still living at home, and has started going to a community college to raise his reading level up to the required level. At high school his best subject was always math (the teachers were always amazed at what he could do), but he was also talented at art. He was valedictorian at the deaf high school he went to.

    He will not even contemplate listening to anything someone says unless he views them as being intelligent and in a position to have real knowledge on the subject. But strangely he has quite a hard time understanding that not everything said with the appearance of authority is true. This causes him to be susceptible to marketing propaganda, especially related to health food.

    He is extremely single minded. And stubborn. And so sure he is right!!
    The only way to change is mind is to have a conclusive logical argument. This drives my ESFJ and ISFJ parents insane!
    Especially my ESFJ mother.

    He does not understand anything about acting appropriately in a social situation. The things that he says/does can be mind boggling! I am quite concerned about his future job prospects/relationships when he gets outside the family environment.

    He seems to have very poor Se, in every way I can think of. (awareness of physical body, leveraging strength, I could give many many examples. He can't even cut up an apple without everyone freaking out because he has no control.)

    A few stories about him:

    At his graduation a kid came up to him and said "congratulations", my bro said "yes". After the kid left my parents asked my bro why he didn't say thank you, or tell him congratulation back. My bro says "he isn't my friend".

    Last winter my dad had trouble with him keeping his window open. My dad would ask him to shut it, and my bro would say that he likes it open. My dad would tell him that it makes the house cold for everyone else when he keeps it open, so he needs to shut it. My bro would agree, but next night, it would be open. And over and over.

    Last time I traveled over to see my family I forgot a few minor things (nothing I was concerned about), but my bro found out about it, and he told me that I need to be more organized. He said that I need to write out lists and that will make it so next time I don't forget anything. I tried to tell him that the things I forgot didn't matter, but he wasn't paying attention, and he told me that he had a system he would show me about how to be more organized.

    A couple of years ago he wrote something about himself for a school project, in it he talked about things he called "lusts". (I think this was an example of the language barrier to a certain degree.) In this paper he pretty much said that he liked playing computer games and eating junk food too much, calling them lusts, and that he had decided to stop doing that. Shortly after that, he completely stopped playing computer games (which he had loved before that), and eating anything that he did not consider healthy (he has more will power than anyone I know). It has now gone so far that he eats about 6 raw eggs a day (drinks them i think?), and who knows what else (freaks my SJ parents out hehe), but he hides most of the stuff he eats, I think because they don't approve.
    He seems to be very concerned about eliminating all weaknesses from himself, and he is very single minded about doing it. Another example is, this last summer he decided he wanted to be able to walk around outside in bare feet (I guess he somehow decided that was a good thing? He wouldn't do it without a reason.). So he started, each day, to go further and further without shoes. First just down the driveway, then a distance on the street, then all the way to the end of the street, then around the block...and on. Everyday he would push just a little further.

    Additional Info

    On another note, when he was a child, he was very imaginative, always playing games in his head. Of course he couldn't communicate at all at that time, so I only know what I saw, not what was actually going on in his head. He would play under a blanket in the middle of the living room floor, gestures and noises wild underneath. He would take cotton balls and manipulate then into all sorts of shapes, intensely concentrating. He would line up his hot wheel cars into exacting rows, with some sort of categorization I assume, and spend hours making a train track.
    This type of imagination doesn't seem apparent anymore, and from some things he has said I almost wonder if he sees it as a weakness...

    Oh yes one other thing, he is a Christian (raised in a Christian family), and his current passion is studying ancient Hebrew on his own (so he can understand the bible in its original language), next on his list is ancient Greek. He is also extremely interested in understanding the english language, especially its roots.

    There is so much more I could say, but maybe it would be best if I wait for questions.

    I have thought that he is INTJ, but sometimes am not sure because he can seem to have a lot of difficulty with abstract topics, although this could very well be do to the language issues.
    Any thoughts on how aspergers affects personality typing? (I wonder if it's even a legit "disorder"...)

    Thanks for any help
    “Can a man of perception respect himself at all?”
    ― Fyodor Dostoyevsky

  2. #2
    Senior Member Bella's Avatar
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    I really don't know what type your brother is but I think his use of the word 'lusts' is genius!
    yesiknowimamiserablegrouchnowgoawayovmeleor

    It's Mizzz ST, thank you...

  3. #3
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    This trouble with abstract topics you seem to be describing sounds more like a lack of Ti, which understands and interprets underlying principles. That's different from the abstract thinking of Ni, which is more rooted in imaginative and visionary thinking, as you have also described. In short, this sounds like Ni dominance.

  4. #4
    Occasional Member Evan's Avatar
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    Sounds like INTJ.

  5. #5
    actinomycetes raindancing's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Uberfuhrer View Post
    This trouble with abstract topics you seem to be describing sounds more like a lack of Ti, which understands and interprets underlying principles. That's different from the abstract thinking of Ni, which is more rooted in imaginative and visionary thinking, as you have also described. In short, this sounds like Ni dominance.
    I have wondered about that. I don't know anyone else who is Ni dom so have felt quite unsure about what it looks like, I have only known that he definitely uses Te, and that the type descriptions of the INTJ seem pretty accurate.

    Another interesting this about him: I have tried to give him a MBTI test (using a dictionary and my explanations for questions he didn't understand), and he consistently choose answers for P rather than J, and many times F rather than T. It was very odd. He is probably the most inflexible person I know, yet he always choose the answers saying he was flexible and liked change!
    It's strange because these two areas, inflexibility and empathy/social issues etc are the two things that are causing a lot of conflict with other people in his life.

    After that I pretty much gave up trying to figure him out by using the test... I was afraid of coming out with a result that was completely wrong and then having him decide it was true "because the test said so", reading false descriptions and confirming a skewed idea about himself.
    “Can a man of perception respect himself at all?”
    ― Fyodor Dostoyevsky

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