I read some of your posts and you don't seem as INFP as I originally thought. Elimination is probably my best method in this case, since I've known several INFPs quite well, but have less contact with INFJs.
Offhand, I would recommend reading the borderline descriptions of INFJ: ENFJ, ISFJ, and INTJ. If those are more like you than the INFP borderline types, it might mean progress. This is advice based on personal experience and observation, not necessarily a book.