INFJ or something else entirely?

[Bethi]

I've taken quite a number of tests, and while INFJ maybe comes out about 70% of the time, I do get other results (INFP, ISTJ, INTJ).

When I first got into personality in high school, I believe I originally typed as an INTJ. But, I very much WANTED to be the "Scientist," so I can definitely see how my answers may have been biased.

Ever since, I've been typed as INFJ on the majority of tests I take, but the description of INFJs doesn't seem to match me much (at least, in my completed biased opinion ).

So, I guess a few things I should mention:

1) I AM the person that family and friends go to for advice and counsel, and people open up to me very easily. The latter makes me very uncomfortable, and the former can get tiring.
2) I'm very much a problem solver. I'd rather suggest possible paths that one could take instead of offer them emotional support.
3) When emotional support is required, I feel SO fake. The words leave my lips and I may offer a hug or pat on the arm, but it feels very NOT me.
4) In groups (thinking school and work), I very often step up and take control. I try to get an idea of what everyone is thinking, and then offer a few ways we could maybe incorporate everyone's ideas. I cannot stand when others slack, but instead of directly calling them out, I nudge them for ideas or ask if they have any input.
5) I feel very uneasy when others are upset, and I try to diffuse through redirection.
6) I problem solve out loud, but it's usually in the form of conversations with myself. Like, I speak as if someone is asking me interview questions or as if I'm taking directly to another individual. I also do this when I am excited or upset over a particular event. For example, I recently landed a freelance position I really wanted, and I kept going over (out loud) how awesome the position was, what pay I would make, what I would be doing, how it would affect other aspects of my life, etc.
7) When something bad happens, I immediately think of how it will affect me and how put out I'll be.
8) I have different "masks" for different people. I'm my truest self with my husband and two best friends (but even then, there's parts of me that I don't share), but everyone else, including my parents, sister, acquantinces, classmates, freelance clients, etc. gets a different version of me.
9) I hop from interest to interest, and I exhaust myself with researching and rabbit trails until I feel satisfied.
10) I can talk about my interests forever (psychological theories, new scientific breakthroughts, etc.), but I can also sense when the person I'm speaking with is bored.
11) I value truth and honesty, but I'm also worried that someone's feelings will be hurt, so I avoid bluntness.
12) I feel empathy for humanity as a whole, but not usually for individual people. Animals, on the otherhand, are my weakness. I cannot watch shows or movies which include animal abuse or death, and I've cried over more than one dead animal on the side of the road.
13) I absolutely hate people who cannot help themselves.
14) I am very sensitive and working in retail absolutely destroyed me. I would handle difficult customers as best I could with a stiff upper lip, and then I would bawl more often than not once that interaction was over.
15) If I'm working on something with my husband or friends (building a shelf or what have you), I feel it necessary to say the plan of action out loud, and then continually refer back to that plan and modify as we go along. It's a bit hard to explain, but I know it drives people batty. It's as if I'm just trying to keep everyone on the same page.
16) I get irrationally upset when people blather on about reality TV or the latest TV show. On the other hand, I love talking about my favorite shows (I know, I'm a hypocrite!)
17) I get lost in thought easily. I'm usually replaying past conversations or events, and it's not until my husband is halfway through a sentence that I realize he's speaking. This happens a lot when I walking in nature, too.

I feel that INFJ is a mistype because I'm not a counselor in the usual sense. People DO see me as one, but I really don't like the role. I could not imagine working as a counselor/teacher/doctor because close contact with other humans means more chances to be hurt. I actually work as a freelance writer and editor, so all of my customer contact is through email.

Please let me know if I left anything helpful out! I've been studying the cognitive functions, but I just have so much trouble viewing my own processes in an unbiased manner, so it's hard for me to choose which functions are the ones that I use most.

I really appreciate any insights!

 

[SearchingforPeace]

Well, you could be a ENFJ. Or ENTP.

Let's explore.

As you looking at events and possibilities, do you come to one understanding that fits, or do you see many possibilities based upon prior experiences?

How are you when really stressed? What helps you unwind?

If you need to travel across the city to an appointment, how would you prepare?

 

[Bethi]

Well, you could be a ENFJ. Or ENTP.

Let's explore.

As you looking at events and possibilities, do you come to one understanding that fits, or do you see many possibilities based upon prior experiences?

How are you when really stressed? What helps you unwind?

If you need to travel across the city to an appointment, how would you prepare?

See, I've always had myself pegged as an introvert. But, maybe a soft extrovert?

Events and possibilities --- I suppose it depends? I've had SO much trouble picking a college major, because I can see every possible career path before me. So, when it's things that I'm invested in, it's very hard for me to narrow it down. When I'm helping someone make a decision, I'm a lot more logical and usually able to find that one possibility that *I* think is best based on the information they've provided me. (I think I may have misinterpreted your meaning on this part, however.)

When I'm stressed, it's usually work or school related because I've procrastinated on a big project. I always get the work done when it gets down to the wire, but I do so in a frenzy. For other types of stress, I unwind by vegging out on my phone (exploring my most current interests). I'm pretty good at compartmentalizing, so I can usually push things to the back of my mind and forget my stress for awhile.

I live in a small town now where walking pretty much anywhere I need to go is possible, so I just plan to leave 15 minutes earlier than necessary so I can make my appointment early. When I relied on public transport, however, I would consult the schedules (sometimes two or three times to be sure) and then arrive to my appointment one hour or so early because I'd take the bus before the one I'd need in case that one broke down or I missed it and had to catch the next one. For work, it was much worse. I'd arrive about 2 hours early and just read a book while waiting for my shift.

 

[SearchingforPeace]

See, I've always had myself pegged as an introvert. But, maybe a soft extrovert?

Events and possibilities --- I suppose it depends? I've had SO much trouble picking a college major, because I can see every possible career path before me. So, when it's things that I'm invested in, it's very hard for me to narrow it down. When I'm helping someone make a decision, I'm a lot more logical and usually able to find that one possibility that *I* think is best based on the information they've provided me. (I think I may have misinterpreted your meaning on this part, however.)

When I'm stressed, it's usually work or school related because I've procrastinated on a big project. I always get the work done when it gets down to the wire, but I do so in a frenzy. For other types of stress, I unwind by vegging out on my phone (exploring my most current interests). I'm pretty good at compartmentalizing, so I can usually push things to the back of my mind and forget my stress for awhile.

I live in a small town now where walking pretty much anywhere I need to go is possible, so I just plan to leave 15 minutes earlier than necessary so I can make my appointment early. When I relied on public transport, however, I would consult the schedules (sometimes two or three times to be sure) and then arrive to my appointment one hour or so early because I'd take the bus before the one I'd need in case that one broke down or I missed it and had to catch the next one. For work, it was much worse. I'd arrive about 2 hours early and just read a book while waiting for my shift.

One of the great misconceptions is that social introversion is the same as cognitive introversion.

And we are often blind to our true natures.

In my case, until last year, I was sure I was an introvert. I was sure I struggled to interact socially. I was sure I was reserved and such.

But that was complete ego construct.

Anyway, how quickly do you react? Do you take a long time to act or can you act quickly?

Think of a time when you felt like you were having a peak experience. What were you doing?

When speaking, do the words flow easily or do you need to time to consider your thoughts first?

 

[Bethi]

One of the great misconceptions is that social introversion is the same as cognitive introversion.

And we are often blind to our true natures.

In my case, until last year, I was sure I was an introvert. I was sure I struggled to interact socially. I was sure I was reserved and such.

But that was complete ego construct.

Anyway, how quickly do you react? Do you take a long time to act or can you act quickly?

Think of a time when you felt like you were having a peak experience. What were you doing?

When speaking, do the words flow easily or do you need to time to consider your thoughts first?

I'd very much rather spend time by myself than with others, and I do tire out when around others for too long. I do know that people I interact with see me as genuine, but I'm actually really uncomfortable with most forms of interaction (I feel like i never know how to act correctly for the situation) and its hard to get to know me and I only share small bits and pieces of myself with everyone.

I'd say I react rather quickly. I'm not one to leave things which require immediate attention (phone ringing, unanswered question) alone.

Hmmm, peak experience. Well, I feel my most confident when presenting a topic to a group that I know much about. For example, I love biology and really enjoyed presenting biological topics of my choosing to my class in high school and college.

When speaking, I generally think as I speak. I tend to ramble more often than not, but I do eventually get my point across. If someone asked me a question directly, I usually start to speak immediately before I even have a solid answer.

 

[messijo]

Without reading the replies.....

INFP.

- " I try to get an idea of what everyone is thinking, and then offer a few ways we could maybe incorporate everyone's ideas. I cannot stand when others slack, but instead of directly calling them out, I nudge them for ideas or ask if they have any input. "
- " I value truth and honesty, but I'm also worried that someone's feelings will be hurt, so I avoid bluntness. "
- " I'm not a counselor in the usual sense. People DO see me as one, but I really don't like the role. I could not imagine working as a counselor/teacher/doctor because close contact with other humans means more chances to be hurt."

Fi, Ne

Edited to add: INFPs absolutely can be "scientists", if that's their interest. I know many.

 

[Bethi]

Without reading the replies.....

INFP.

- " I try to get an idea of what everyone is thinking, and then offer a few ways we could maybe incorporate everyone's ideas. I cannot stand when others slack, but instead of directly calling them out, I nudge them for ideas or ask if they have any input. "
- " I value truth and honesty, but I'm also worried that someone's feelings will be hurt, so I avoid bluntness. "
- " I'm not a counselor in the usual sense. People DO see me as one, but I really don't like the role. I could not imagine working as a counselor/teacher/doctor because close contact with other humans means more chances to be hurt."

Fi, Ne

Edited to add: INFPs absolutely can be "scientists", if that's their interest. I know many.

I definitely see myself as more introverted than extroverted.

I'm still struggling to understand the differences between Fi and Fe as well as Ni and Ne.

A lot of tests mark my preferences as slight when it comes to those last three letters.

For example, I recently got ISTJ with slight preference for sensing (12% more than intuitive), slight preference for thinking (9% more than feeling), and marginal for judging (3% more than perceiving). Another test classified me in the same way, but with slightly different preferences (60% sensing to 40% intuitive, 58% thinking to 42% feeling, and 51% judging to 49% perceiving).

I have tested as INFP as well, too.

I suppose I just have to spend more time reading up on the different functions and kind of settling on one side or the other.

 

[SearchingforPeace]

I definitely see myself as more introverted than extroverted.

I'm still struggling to understand the differences between Fi and Fe as well as Ni and Ne.

A lot of tests mark my preferences as slight when it comes to those last three letters.

For example, I recently got ISTJ with slight preference for sensing (12% more than intuitive), slight preference for thinking (9% more than feeling), and marginal for judging (3% more than perceiving). Another test classified me in the same way, but with slightly different preferences (60% sensing to 40% intuitive, 58% thinking to 42% feeling, and 51% judging to 49% perceiving).

I have tested as INFP as well, too.

I suppose I just have to spend more time reading up on the different functions and kind of settling on one side or the other.

Unfortunately, the person you replied toappears to lacks an understanding of Cognitive Function theory.

Have you any idea of your enneagram type?

 

[Bethi]

Unfortunately, the person you replied toappears to lacks an understanding of Cognitive Function theory.

Have you any idea of your enneagram type?

I just took a few tests for the first time tonight.

I got 6w5 on my first, 6 on my second, and then 1, 5, and 6 equally on the third.

Edit: I particularly identify with this description of 6w5: "The anxiety we see in average Sixes also causes people of this subtype to be more intense than Sixes with a Seven-wing. Sixes with a Five-wing are more independent than Sixes with a Seven-wing, and are less likely to go to others for reassurance, advice, or to solve their problems. They may have one or two mentors or confidants, but in most cases they will "gut out" their problems and anxieties alone."

 

[OrangeAppled]

I get ENFJ from the OP too. Don't see an NT at all. Not a Fi-dominant...there was very little talk about what is going on in your inner world, your personal philosophies, ideals, fantasies, etc - the kind of stuff INFPs define themselves with. You sound very "directive" too, not the usual communication style of an IxxP (who can be raw, but not "directive" in an orderly sense).
It's hard to explain, but most of what you say suggests your identity is tied to external stuff more. My impression was immediately that you are extroverted. N types may often feel introverted because of their focus on abstractions over the concrete. It may feel like they are not connected to the moment, or they may be a bit absent-minded and get sensory overload, making them think they are introverted.