• You are currently viewing our forum as a guest, which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community, you will have access to additional post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), view blogs, respond to polls, upload content, and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free, so please join our community today! Just click here to register. You should turn your Ad Blocker off for this site or certain features may not work properly. If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us by clicking here.

Help with typing my s.o?

Surr

New member
Joined
Nov 5, 2014
Messages
79
MBTI Type
IDFK
I've spent countless hours trying to figure out his type. He's an enneagram 6 so that makes it even harder because his personality seems to be so pliant and he's prone to being influenced by those whose opinion he values. What I do know is that he's probably an Extrovert and quite possibly a Sensor. The rest remains a mystery. I'll paste a questionnaire I made him fill that I've been using myself when typing people who have asked for my help. Hopefully it's of help with determining his functions. I suspect he has Se over Si (which means Ni over Ne) but that's about it.

1. How have you handled being in the middle of a totally unknown situation before?

My first reaction is to say: not well, although no specific example comes to my mind. Such a situation, an unknown, would generally make me very uncomfortable. I like to know where I am, and know the situation. I like to know every detail of an area/event, and I like to be able to walk in with comfort as if I own the room. However, that is only natural. In reality I probably handle the situation just fine. I’m fairly quick on my feet, and adaptive to new environment. It would take me a few minutes of scouting out the area and those around it till I feel comfortable engaging, but when I do it shouldn’t be too much difficult. Second reaction: very well.

2. How do you respond in a crisis?
I don’t have much experience dealing with crisis’s, outside of emotional crises. What even constitutes a crisis anyway? I guess that depends on the person. What is a crisis to one may be no big deal to another. Well, emotionally I’m made of glass, apparently, so let’s just focus on that, because I don’t know what else to focus on. I’ve done things I’m not proud of. And generally I like to just forget those things happened. But when they did happen I was angry. Very angry. I wanted to feel something. Anything but the hurt I was feeling inside. How about a hurt outside, I figured. And so I took it out on my body. Maybe I’d punch a wall as hard as I could till my knuckles bled. Maybe I’d ram my head into the wall instead. Or maybe I’d just drink enough alcohol to take down a horse. These are all things I’ve done in response to a crisis. Immediately after though, in these cases – well I guess I would say I was in a state of panic, which is probably the standard reaction to a crisis. My heart started to beat very hard, my breathing was erratic, my eyes were swelled with water, and I tried to fix the situation any which way I could. And if I couldn’t I would take it out on myself, as I expressed. Either during, after, or both. In these cases I solved the crisis, but in these cases I also caused the crisis, so I’m not sure this answer has been exactly relevant.

3. What is your first thought when hearing that something bad has happened? (e.g. someone has passed away)
There’s not much though. There’s more interest than emotion, I would so. People’s deaths don’t generally have much effect on me. I only have one grandparent left and I can’t remember having any real emotional response to any of the ones who have passes passing. The news was more like a burden. Now I have to comfort all the people who can’t handle this news, and pretend like it actually bothers me. When it reality it doesn’t. It’s just history being told today. Although, those were only grandparents. I didn’t see them much, they didn’t mean much to me to begin with, and their deaths were inevitable. But generally, news of that nature does not have much effect on me. It’s more like it’s interesting than it’s hard to hear. I find it a burden to hear bad news more than anything. Having to comfort people is a pain in the ass. I know that sounds awful, but so be it.

4. Do you struggle to get what is in your head out on paper in a way that others can understand?
To an extent, yes. My thoughts have a tendency of spiraling around my head in a circle to no end. Sometimes they can be hard to get out. I think I make things easy to understand. I’ve always been rather good at explaining things to others in a way that is easy to understand. I know how to put things “in layman’s terms,” as the expression goes. Do I struggle to get what is in my head out on paper? No, I do not think so, although there wasn’t really anything in my head as it concerns to answering this question, so maybe this is just my ego talking. I have however always found it difficult to speak of my emotions. Not on my paper, but verbally at least. When it comes to that I definitely have a difficult time getting what is in my head out in an understandable way. I find it difficult. I find things don’t come out as clear as they were in there. But in the end, people generally understand what I’m saying. Maybe I’m just more unsatisfied with my own answers then others are. You’re always your own worst critique though, right?

5. Are you frequently misunderstood, or do people compliment you on being straightforward and easy to understand?

Do they complement me? I can’t recall such an instance. However, I can’t recall any complaints either, so I’d say I’m fairly easy to understand. I’m a pretty good teacher. I’m not an actual teacher, because I hate kids, but I’ve always been good at teaching people how to do something. How do you teach someone how to do something? Through communication. So with that in mind, I’d say I’m quite well understood. For more information, see my above answer.

6. How impulsive are you in the BIG THINGS? Relationships? Major purchases? Trip planning?
I’m going to go with: not very impulsive. I have a pretty BIG THING going on right now. I’m taking a big flight to see my girlfriend (the one making me write these answers out right now…) in about a week. That’s a pretty big thing. But was it impulsive? Not really, I don’t think. We talked about it for quite a long time beforehand and everything. It’s still a very big deal, and a big “thing” certainly. But I wouldn’t say it was really that impulsive. Nor do I think anything I have bought has been bought that impulsively. Sure, my finances probably aren’t where they should be, but I wouldn’t credit that to impulsivity. In reality I’m probably not impulsive enough. I think things out too much. My mind is always on overdrive. It could use a break once in a while.

7. What is the area you have made the most mistakes in?

My love life. First it didn’t exist for the longest time because of my own insecurities, and then when it finally started to exist all I did was screw it up at every corner. Only now have I stopped fucking things up and found some sense of stability, but I accredit that to my current girlfriend (bless her heart for sticking around) more than anything else. If it wasn’t for her I’d probably still be in the bottom of the pit of despair. And it is her I made the most mistakes with. And it is her posting from this account, so if you want to hear all about them you can just ask her, I’m sure she’d be more than glad to tell you how much of a fuck up I’ve been in the past.

8. Do you often feel “empty” of emotion yourself, but find it very easy to cry when you see someone else’s pain? Or do you find it hard to express your own feelings, which you feel intensely?
I often feel empty of emotion myself, but I never cry at the sight of someone else’s pain. Unless they are fictional. Characters in stories, whether on TV, a movie, or a book, have made me cry before. I won’t deny that. They often draw out the turmoil I feel inside, opening me up to let out the pain. Real people though? Doesn’t really happen. Not unless I have a great emotional interest in them already. As for the last question, I guess that is the most fitting one of all. I do not like speaking of my feelings; my emotions. I find it very difficult. The only times I have difficult talking is when I am forced to talk about just that. I do not like to open up. Yet, I would say my feelings can be quite intense. I have very strong battles with depression that leave me feeling beaten down and, well depressed.

Notes:

- First thing when he read through the questions I gave him was to complain how "vague" they are and how he doesn't get it
- His main defense mechanism is turning things into humor
- When I play imagination games with him (e.g. asking him what he'd do if I came through the wall with his brother's car) he always has to correct things that are wrong in the scenario (my brother doesn't have a car/he lives in an apartment complex so it would be basically impossible for me to get so high up with a car)
- Possible ones I've considered are ESFP and ESTP, he has tested as ENTJ and ISTP before but most of his answers are exactly in the middle, if I ask him a question (e.g. are you more warm than cold) he always says he doesn't know and that he's a bit of both. This could be a Fe trait.
- Last summer, he had this major meltdown which resulted in alcoholic behavior and suicidal thoughts/tendencies after a break-up, and he became obsessed with a girl he thought could lift him up from the well of wallowing and sadness. Probably a loop of sorts but because of my subjective involvement I have yet to figure out what loop
- He's very insecure and constantly fears me leaving him (typical enneagram 6)

Any thoughts are very welcome, I thrive to solve this puzzle!
 
Top