Am I an INTJ resp. does this behavior fits to that type?

[mimikry01]

Hello everybody,

first of all sorry for language mistakes - I'm not a native speaker but I'll give my best so you guys hopefully can understand everything I say

The last days I really drew attention to the MBTI types. I think it's really interesting, I always try to figure out which MBTI type the people around me are and yes... enough said.

So of course I'm thinking a lot about which type I am. I did several online tests (always a little bit dustrustful if an online test can really be reliable ) and I mainly had the result that I am an INTJ. One the one hand I am quite sure that this fits, on the other hand not. I want to explain why.

First matter: I read that INTJs love to have long-term plans, that they have a clear strategy they follow and goals they want to reach even with hard work. I can absolutely confirm that this fits to me - I always think about what possibilities I have in my life, which decisions will bring me to which point and I have clear goals and plans to achieve them. From my little life experience I can say that none of my plans failed yet.

However, I am not a fan of detailed planning and I'm not a total freak of efficiency (I value it but I'm not obsessed of it). For example I tend to procrastinate tasks I don't have fun with and if suddendly a new possibility open up, I have no problems to adjust my plans. My strategy is kind of: Make sure that everything work that I reach my goals - within this frame there is time to relax. Is this still an typical INTJ-behavior?

Second: I read that it is typical for an INTJ to look down on less-intelligent or incompetent people, that they hate small talk and doesn't have an understanding for decisions based on feelings. They are described as aloof and kind of "coldhearted".

In some points I clearly can see myself - I tend to have this attitude that most of the people around me can't keep up with me and I have to admit that I haven't any real tolerance for making decisions based on feelings, too. In addition to that I really struggle to give friends emotional support (f.e. it really takes a lot that I hug a friend who is crying, not because I doesn't care but because I don't know how to react, a hugging makes me feel stupid). All in all many people annoy me if they don't understand how I think or act different than I would.

Well, the thing is that I became aware of my behavior one or two years ago and I noticed that it's not fair to judge people around me just because of my first impression that they are less intelligent. Also I noticed that I was a noob when it comes to social situations and that it makes my life harder (because I had difficulties to get to know people). So I started working on my behavior. Today I don't really have problems with small talk (with smiling, showing interest to the other person etc.) and I am less critizing people (nevertheless I am often stressed out, I just don't let other people notice it).

So does such an behavior still fits to an INTJ? I can identify with nearly every trait of them, I just seem to be more "tolerant" (?) in some ways. Is it important to distinguish between how a person would naturally act (in my case f.e. judging people way too fast) and which behavior is adapted (consciously adapted, not through manipulation)?

Still I have to say that I'm not quite sure if my adapted behavior is just "played" or that much integrated that it is "real". One the one hand I think it's real because it's conscious and I'm really NOT a person who plays with others or would even fool oneself (never!). One the other hand I always act with an clear idea behind that - I am not doing small talk for fun, I just do it because I know that most people see this at the first step to get to know somebody and I would put obstacles in my own way for declining this.

Wow, such a long text, I am sorry I hope my English is comprehensible and some of you guys got my point. If something is unclear, just ask me! I can't wait for some opinions.

 

[Flybylikeahurricane]

hahaha of course this behavior fits the INTJ. I think what you're experiencing is the development of your tertiary function, the point in your life where you start to not fit the descriptions of your type as exactly unless the type descriptions describe all 4 functions. You see, the seeing judgement based on intelligence as unfair is an example of Fi, because instead of going by objective data, you're starting to understand your own code of morality. This is normal for an INTJ, who has Fi as their tertiary function. You still are INTJ, but you are developing more sides to yourself. When I was 15, I was all out Fi. I was saying things like, "if a girl has a weakness, that just makes her more beautiful to me" and that is an example of Fi to the max. As I was getting out of high school however, I starting making more objective decisions, such as " this girl is stupid and weak, so according to Darwin's theories, I shouldn't go out with her" and that was the development of my Te starting to settle in, although I have a healthier Te now and don't make stupid judgements like the one in the example. You shouldn't worry about being the exact stereotype of your type, because as humans we don't fit into boxes. We develop other sides to our personality, which is where you get the "changing personality" myth.

 

[wolfnara]

Second: I read that it is typical for an INTJ to look down on less-intelligent or incompetent people, that they hate small talk and doesn't have an understanding for decisions based on feelings. They are described as aloof and kind of "coldhearted".

This is the ultimate stereotype for INTJs. It is true that they will be better at applying logic before feelings in decision making, but saying they are cold hearted doesn't make any sense. If you learn more about MBTI then you will understand that too. Everyone uses feeling, thinking, sensing, and intuition. Typology is just a matter of what you value and better at.

In some points I clearly can see myself - I tend to have this attitude that most of the people around me can't keep up with me and I have to admit that I haven't any real tolerance for making decisions based on feelings, too. In addition to that I really struggle to give friends emotional support (f.e. it really takes a lot that I hug a friend who is crying, not because I doesn't care but because I don't know how to react, a hugging makes me feel stupid). All in all many people annoy me if they don't understand how I think or act different than I would.

Well you are correct that your are a thinker. But I can relate to the rest - I feel awkward trying to comfort people and i'm an Infp

Overall though, I think INTJ is possible for you.

 

[mimikry01]

Haha I never had thought about if that's my Fi function but it seems quite logic to me. I thought the whole day about it and just asked a few hours ago an INFJ for an opinion. She agrees.

I know that most descriptions refers to stereotypes, I just wanted to make some kind of sure that my assumption is right by hearing some views of others. It's so incredibly interesting to hear opinions from guys with an other personality type, so thank you for that