It's a girl I know since school. Now we are both 23 and at different universities in different towns. We occasionally see each other during holidays. Honestly, I don't know whether she was interested in me or was just being nice, playing games and flirting (like all ENFPs do afterall) but I started to like her in the last years. Whatever, let's get started:
she grew up with 4 male cousins and she's a bit of a tomboy (she climbs trees, catches bugs, plays football, makes weird noises, etc). She has loads of friends and she's nice to everyone, always jokes around, lighthearted, and open with everyone and everyone likes her. She wasn't that pretty back in school (probably a 6), now she looks like a very fine woman (7-8). When we were at school, she used to organize parties and classmates "reunions". Everything she says is covered with a hint of sarcasm or irony. She often shares her philosophical "thoughts" on facebook and they all have some irony in them. They are never 100% serious.
Now, I'm an INTJ and only had 2 "friends" at school with who I hanged with, who I've known for years; they made friends with the other classmates and as a consequence I entered that "circle", even though not everyone acknowledged me. The girls were immersed in their bullshit drama lives and two guys liked picking on me since I was immersed in my thoughts most of the time and was unresponsive. The ExFP girl was nice to everyone in general, I was no exception.
Since I used humor a lot back then in order to "defend" myself from those guys attempts at insulting me, and she was also playful and always joking around, in a way or another, we ended up putting up a play where we were lovers. We would call names, make weird sounds, she would call me "Oh my love", grabbing my arm and pushing her boobs (A cups at the time) against it. Wrapping her arm around mine was routine. During school trips she'd take me around the hotel, always pretending the same thing, but I never thought much of it. It was just a game. This continued till last year of school. Then we departed, each to his own university. When we met up during the first year of university, she was always playing the same game and I tagged along till one point: when I noticed she was trying to get my attention, like she thought she could seduce me anyday, I started ignoring her. I simply pretended to be looking elsewhere and being immersed in my thoughts, not noticing her; on one occasion, when she was trying hard to get my attention by making weird sounds, I totally ignored her and I overheard one of my classmate tell her "Lol, he isn't even giving a shit about you". Back then I was thinking that perhaps she had gotten too much carried away, thinking that she should stop it if it wasn't serious. I became slightly colder when around her. The idea that I liked her had already insinuated my mind back then, but I rejected it. I tried hard to avoid her because well, being the loner I am, I thought that such a relationship would have been unwise to even begin.
Now, after some years of university have passed, she still is very warm and affectionate. I couldn't help myself liking her; I tried to force myself to forget her but it was in vain. I kept meeting her in the hope of seeing her acting cold towards me, a sign that perhaps she wasn't really interested and a hint that I should've moved on. I was looking for relief. I started some conversation about psychological and philosophical matters(she's studying psychology afterall) and she seemed enthusiast in discussing such things (she wrote very HUGE messages and didn't mind my HUGE messages). But eventually these conversation fell into oblivion (she either forgot to answer and got distracted, because after months she would remind me we had a conversation hanging when I was actually the last one to anwer... I was the one waiting for an answer lol). I thought I had found relief, I thought she didn't give a shit but then she invited me over at her apartment (uni town), telling me to go visit her from time to time and saying I could sleep over(she wasn't flirty as always but had a more melancholic and lonely face, like she wanted to tell me "you are such a loner, I never get to see you around if not during Christmas and summer. Let's meet sometimes at least :/". I thought she just didn't want to lose contact with me, because she wants to be friends with everyone. I don't think she meant anything sexual). I told her I might have picked up her offer but in the end I didn't go. I thought she was only trying to stay in contact with the old schoolmates and I didn't have time and money to waste for these trivial things.
After meeting again for these Christmas holidays, she was flirty as always, wrapping her arm around mine, interlocking fingers when walking and other stuff, with the difference that we no longer joke around like before. Perhaps it was just in memory of the "old days", even though she'd occasionally pretend to keep playing that game (when walking around with her, I took a glimpse of another girl's ass and she thundered me with a "What the fuck are you looking at?", then resuming her happy/flirty expression). Before parting ways again, she again encouraged me to visit her, twice, telling me she'll wait for me and that she'll visit me in spring. My brain keeps telling me that it's not rational for me to like this girl. She's the opposite of me, probably the only thing that links us is the humor and I don't get why my mind should obsess over her. But I can't help it. I tried to avoid her, forget her, but my subconscious would attack me with nice dreams about her. I eventually gave up to the idea that I like her, even though I don't really get why.
Anyways, leaving aside my clumsiness and confusion in relationships, what type most likely is she? I have hard times differentiating between ESFP and ENFPs: the girl is highly extroverted, is friend with everyone, humorous and funny, spontaneous (even a bit tomboyish), is touchy-feely and flirty, often organizing parties... a sunshine girl. Aren't these things that both ENFPs and ESFPs do?
Thanks for taking your time reading this waterfall of text. I tried to provide the most info possible. If it isn't enough, feel free to ask for other informations: I'll try to answer.