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Thread: AGA is an INTP!

  1. #111
    failure to thrive AphroditeGoneAwry's Avatar
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    Default I am an INFJ

    So God says I am an infj too.


    There was a lot of strife in my youngest years, from birth on. I was very lonely. When I tried to reach out to my istj mother she would be harsh toward me (dealing with her own stuff, having a lover, etc), my sister was an isfp involved in her own friend group, and my dad (estp) worked a lot and was an alcoholic. My parents fought a lot but I don't remember any of it, except the night she left. When I tried to reach out to neighbor kids, they shunned me (perhaps sensing my different-ness?), and picked fights with me, which they lost, which only furthered the problem because then I got labeled as a freak.

    The only ones who I remember being nice to me were a large black family who lived on the adjacent culdesac. But for some reason I never played much with them. I wish I could turn back time and do so. I have always wanted a black female friend, maybe that is why, because I have memories of them being kind to me when no one else was. I did not have a real friend until 7th grade, around 13. By then I guess I had been introverting strongly, and gotten cozy with analytical processes, hence why my sis said I was always analyzing everything. Probably always trying to figure out why no one wanted to spend time with me, or wanted to be my friend, but I don't actually remember for sure. I spent a lot of time hiking and exploring. I guess this was the way I extraverted and got out of my head a bit, though everything I took in went right back in for analysis.

    My dog became my friend. In more ways than one. And I found solace in nature. And TV. And food. which I still struggle with. Food was my first coping mechanism, I believe.

    ~thanks for helping, and listening.
    Ni/Ti/Fe/Si
    4w5 5w4 1w9
    ~Torah observant, Christ inspired~
    Life Path 11

    The more one loves God, the more it is that having nothing in the world means everything, and the less one loves God, the more it is that having everything in the world means nothing.

    Do not resist an evil person, but to him who strikes you on the one cheek, offer also the other. ~Matthew 5:39

    songofmary.wordpress.com

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  2. #112
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    Quote Originally Posted by AphroditeGoneAwry View Post
    I think vibes are as good or better than anything.

    If I were intp, I should be : Ti Ne Fi (or Fe depending on your cf theory alignment) Se

    If I were infj, I should be: Ni Fe Ti (or Te depending on your cf theory alignment) Se?


    The infj is more my stacking, just not in the right order. Question is, did my Ne aux bend to Ni or did my Fe get subjugated by my Ti? Seems more likely that Ne would get bent, imo, than for a whole nuther function to jump forward.....
    Lol at vibes...that seals the fact you are Ni...lol. I have vibes, but that just means I gotta dig in more or it stays as a likely possibility.
    Im out, its been fun
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  3. #113
    Senior Member Jaguar's Avatar
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    You played verbal volleyball with Zarathustra regarding your use of Te and not Ti:

    INTJ: Do you/they resermble the descriptions?

    And now you want to make a case for being INTP?

    Come on, now.
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  4. #114
    breaking out of my cocoon SearchingforPeace's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AphroditeGoneAwry View Post
    So God says I am an infj too.


    There was a lot of strife in my youngest years, from birth on. I was very lonely. When I tried to reach out to my istj mother she would be harsh toward me (dealing with her own stuff, having a lover, etc), my sister was an isfp involved in her own friend group, and my dad (estp) worked a lot. When I tried to reach out to neighbor kids, they shunned me (perhaps sensing my different-ness?), and picked fights with me, which they lost, which only furthered the problem because then I got labeled as a freak.

    The only ones who I remember being nice to me were a large black family who lived on the adjacent culdesac. But for some reason I never played much with them. I wish I could turn back time and do so. I have always wanted a black female friend, maybe that is why, because I have memories of them being kind to me when no one else was. I did not have a real friend until 7th grade, around 13. By then I guess I had been introverting strongly, and gotten cozy with analytical processes, hence why my sis said I was always analyzing everything. Probably always trying to figure out why no one wanted to spend time with me, or wanted to be my friend.

    My dog became my friend. In more ways than one. And I found solace in nature. And TV. And food. which I still struggle with. Food was my first coping mechanism, I believe.

    ~thanks for helping, and listening.
    I relate a lot to your story.

    My ISTJ dad hated my mom (he never loved her) and worked constantly or was involved in religious activities.

    My ENFP mom never spent time with me or loved me, and instead neglected me and ignored me.

    My two ENP older siblings rebelled against my parent's neglect by acting out, causing considerable pain that I ran away from, hide from, and finally walled myself off from.

    I was friendly and outspoken in public, but isolated and introverted at home, developing a shell to protect myself. I fell in love with Ti and loved that I could outsmart everyone I knew.

    I spent a lot of time outdoors and befriended animals all over. Se is a great coping mechanism, better than isolation, but learning not to over indulge is a problem.

    It has taken until midlife to wake up to this reality.....

    On another note, if you feel strongly attached to Ti, you should make an effort to improve your Fe.

    One exercise I started doing was finding something in everyone and everything I see and saying in my mind, "I love you for XXXXX", whether it be the guy walking a dog, "I love that you are walking your dog and thank you for doing it", or "i love those colors on the leaves and thank you, tree" or "I love your willingness to wear those bold colors and thank you for wearing those clothes" or (being a guy) "I love all the cleavage you are sharing and thank you" or "I love how your ass looks in those yoga pants and thank you and the inventor of yoga pants"

    It is the act of saying "I love you for and thank you", even in my mind, that seems to helps me to connect more easily to everyone. And it feels better telling myself "I love you for those nice breasts you are showing off and thanks for sharing them with me" than "she has great breasts". It breaks through years of conditioning to keep everyone away. And everyone has something you can appreciate.

    And I actually become consciously friendlier and happier as I say these things. And I do talk more to others, lifting others up. And it feels better to me and I can see it makes them feel better too.

    We all need to overcome our childhood issues at some point, even ones we don't think were issues. And as much as NFJs can see so much in others, they tend to be clueless about themselves.....
    Quote Originally Posted by Archilochus
    The fox knows many things--the hedgehog one big one.
    And I am not a hedgehog......

    -------------------

    Jesus said "Blessed are the peacemakers" not "blessed are the conflict avoiders.....

    9w8 6w5 4w5 sx/so

    ----------------------

    “Orthodoxy means not thinking--not needing to think. Orthodoxy is unconsciousness.”
    ― George Orwell, 1984
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  5. #115
    failure to thrive AphroditeGoneAwry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jaguar View Post
    You played verbal volleyball with Zarathustra regarding your use of Te and not Ti:

    INTJ: Do you/they resermble the descriptions?

    And now you want to make a case for being INTP?

    Come on, now.
    Oh heck. That was a long time ago. I don't know that I understood Te and Ti exactly right. Still not sure I do.

    Quote Originally Posted by SearchingforPeace View Post
    I relate a lot to your story.

    My ISTJ dad hated my mom (he never loved her) and worked constantly or was involved in religious activities.

    My ENFP mom never spent time with me or loved me, and instead neglected me and ignored me.

    My two ENP older siblings rebelled against my parent's neglect by acting out, causing considerable pain that I ran away from, hide from, and finally walled myself off from.

    I was friendly and outspoken in public, but isolated and introverted at home, developing a shell to protect myself. I fell in love with Ti and loved that I could outsmart everyone I knew.

    I spent a lot of time outdoors and befriended animals all over. Se is a great coping mechanism, better than isolation, but learning not to over indulge is a problem.

    It has taken until midlife to wake up to this reality.....

    On another note, if you feel strongly attached to Ti, you should make an effort to improve your Fe.

    One exercise I started doing was finding something in everyone and everything I see and saying in my mind, "I love you for XXXXX", whether it be the guy walking a dog, "I love that you are walking your dog and thank you for doing it", or "i love those colors on the leaves and thank you, tree" or "I love your willingness to wear those bold colors and thank you for wearing those clothes" or (being a guy) "I love all the cleavage you are sharing and thank you" or "I love how your ass looks in those yoga pants and thank you and the inventor of yoga pants"

    It is the act of saying "I love you for and thank you", even in my mind, that seems to helps me to connect more easily to everyone. And it feels better telling myself "I love you for those nice breasts you are showing off and thanks for sharing them with me" than "she has great breasts". It breaks through years of conditioning to keep everyone away. And everyone has something you can appreciate.

    And I actually become consciously friendlier and happier as I say these things. And I do talk more to others, lifting others up. And it feels better to me and I can see it makes them feel better too.

    We all need to overcome our childhood issues at some point, even ones we don't think were issues. And as much as NFJs can see so much in others, they tend to be clueless about themselves.....
    Sounds hard. Thank you for sharing. What did you do to cope exactly?

    I guess my dad and I got on so well because of the estp/infj attraction. I wondered today if that was why I became attracted to my istp ex, because he had those characteristics of my dad, just in a more introverted way. My dad may have been an esfp, it's hard to know. He was pretty loving.


    I am an infj and I use Fe well enough. Let's not push it though. You can keep your Fe dom exercises.

    And I guess I will remain shrouded in mystery until my prince charming comes and awakens me with his kiss~ *back of hand to forehead swoon swoon*
    Ni/Ti/Fe/Si
    4w5 5w4 1w9
    ~Torah observant, Christ inspired~
    Life Path 11

    The more one loves God, the more it is that having nothing in the world means everything, and the less one loves God, the more it is that having everything in the world means nothing.

    Do not resist an evil person, but to him who strikes you on the one cheek, offer also the other. ~Matthew 5:39

    songofmary.wordpress.com


  6. #116
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    Quote Originally Posted by AphroditeGoneAwry View Post
    Oh heck. That was a long time ago. I don't know that I understood Te and Ti exactly right. Still not sure I do.



    Sounds hard. Thank you for sharing. What did you do to cope exactly?

    I guess my dad and I got on so well because of the estp/infj attraction. I wondered today if that was why I became attracted to my istp ex, because he had those characteristics of my dad, just in a more introverted way. My dad may have been an esfp, it's hard to know. He was pretty loving.


    I am an infj and I use Fe well enough. Let's not push it though. You can keep your Fe dom exercises.

    And I guess I will remain shrouded in mystery until my prince charming comes and awakens me with his kiss~ *back of hand to forehead swoon swoon*
    You want the back of my hand across your forehead. All you had to do is ask to be backhanded sure we can make you fall over and pass out from it...that's what you mean by swoon right?
    Im out, its been fun

  7. #117
    failure to thrive AphroditeGoneAwry's Avatar
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    Ni/Ti/Fe/Si
    4w5 5w4 1w9
    ~Torah observant, Christ inspired~
    Life Path 11

    The more one loves God, the more it is that having nothing in the world means everything, and the less one loves God, the more it is that having everything in the world means nothing.

    Do not resist an evil person, but to him who strikes you on the one cheek, offer also the other. ~Matthew 5:39

    songofmary.wordpress.com


  8. #118
    breaking out of my cocoon SearchingforPeace's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AphroditeGoneAwry View Post
    Oh heck. That was a long time ago. I don't know that I understood Te and Ti exactly right. Still not sure I do.



    Sounds hard. Thank you for sharing. What did you do to cope exactly?
    I decided I was a cold introverted thinker, like the mentats in Dune or Spock. I took no care for anyone else consciously (Fe was still there unconsciously). I decided I didn't need anyone, that love was a fraud, and that I could rely on no one, ever. I spent a lot of time with Ti, feeling alone and depressed and isolated.

    I still lived as a NFJ, just thinking myself as someone who struggles to make friends and socialize was isolated (even though I knew everyone's name, went to long lunches with friends, and organized activities during study days, etc). I was always the most outspoken student in every class from preschool to grad school. People told me I had "too much personality" for my profession.

    I guess my dad and I got on so well because of the estp/infj attraction. I wondered today if that was why I became attracted to my istp ex, because he had those characteristics of my dad, just in a more introverted way. My dad may have been an esfp, it's hard to know. He was pretty loving.
    Glad you had one loving parent. Having a solid relationship with your opposite sex parent is usually very necessary for health.

    I am an infj and I use Fe well enough. Let's not push it though. You can keep your Fe dom exercises.
    It is your destiny..... succumb to the power of Fe.....

    And I guess I will remain shrouded in mystery until my prince charming comes and awakens me with his kiss~ *back of hand to forehead swoon swoon*
    Nah, just be the fierce, strong woman you are so you can find a man strong enough for you. Eve wasn't a push over, at least in my reading. She was more than Adam's equal.....
    Quote Originally Posted by Archilochus
    The fox knows many things--the hedgehog one big one.
    And I am not a hedgehog......

    -------------------

    Jesus said "Blessed are the peacemakers" not "blessed are the conflict avoiders.....

    9w8 6w5 4w5 sx/so

    ----------------------

    “Orthodoxy means not thinking--not needing to think. Orthodoxy is unconsciousness.”
    ― George Orwell, 1984
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  9. #119
    failure to thrive AphroditeGoneAwry's Avatar
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    @SearchingforPeace

    Thanks for your post. Most outspoken? Wow. You sound like you had friends, but maybe you were just on Fe autopilot and didn't form interactive friendships? It's interesting. I had nothing like the friendships my kids have with their friends, not to mention their healthy sibling relationships (nothing against my sis, she is the dearest person in the world to me, but we were both struggling so much, she couldn't be there for me like I needed).

    I am really a loud person, in voice and often in manner. I cannot stand straining to hear someone and I do not make others strain to hear me. I guess it's my 7. There is still a very slight chance I could have been born an enfj, but that would mean my Fe got knocked down two notches and that seems a bit too much. People usually do say I seem like an extravert to them though.
    Ni/Ti/Fe/Si
    4w5 5w4 1w9
    ~Torah observant, Christ inspired~
    Life Path 11

    The more one loves God, the more it is that having nothing in the world means everything, and the less one loves God, the more it is that having everything in the world means nothing.

    Do not resist an evil person, but to him who strikes you on the one cheek, offer also the other. ~Matthew 5:39

    songofmary.wordpress.com


  10. #120
    breaking out of my cocoon SearchingforPeace's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AphroditeGoneAwry View Post
    @SearchingforPeace

    Thanks for your post. Most outspoken? Wow.
    At school or at work or with friends. At school, I usually bantered with teachers and professors. At home, I was quiet, isolated, alone. One aunt was shocked I could after we had a conversation when I was 11 during a car trip. She said, "I don't remember you ever talking before!"

    You sound like you had friends, but maybe you were just on Fe autopilot and didn't form interactive friendships? It's interesting. I had nothing like the friendships my kids have with their friends, not to mention their healthy sibling relationships.
    I had a bunch of friends. I never had trouble making friends, but I was always distant. My friends never got my hopes or fears. They were must fire having fun. I didn't even admit tell them when in had crushes on girls. I also compartmentalized my friends. With every little overlap.

    Even with all this, I thought myself incapable of socializing. So, I picked girls up at random at dances and such and having them jump my bones a few minutes later, but I thought I struggled finding girls. I chat up people all day long, but felt I couldn't connect.

    It was only with my midlife crisis that begun last year that I started to accept the true me.

    I am really a loud person, in voice and often in manner. I cannot stand straining to hear someone and I do not make others strain to hear me. I guess it's my 7. There is still a very slight chance I could have been born an enfj, but that would mean my Fe got knocked down two notches and that seems a bit too much. People usually do say I seem like an extravert to them though.
    It would mean you were followed your inferior Ti, the other half of Fe. It is what I did.

    This post Why the Inferior Function is So Important seemed help me understand the inferior function much better.

    Dom inf are in a tug of war and we can get stuck.

    For me, I never thought I was an extrovert. I hated the idea of being a J. I hated the idea of being a feeler.

    I worked in a career where I would have succeeded far more if I had been self-aware (though I was still really good at my job, I just didn't feel right.....) If I had only gone full Fe, I would have been rockstar in the field instead of miserable.... oh, well....

    Everything is perfect. The past is dead. I make my future. And you make yours.....
    Quote Originally Posted by Archilochus
    The fox knows many things--the hedgehog one big one.
    And I am not a hedgehog......

    -------------------

    Jesus said "Blessed are the peacemakers" not "blessed are the conflict avoiders.....

    9w8 6w5 4w5 sx/so

    ----------------------

    “Orthodoxy means not thinking--not needing to think. Orthodoxy is unconsciousness.”
    ― George Orwell, 1984

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