MBTI, enneagram, tritype, instinctual variants, socionics ... I want it all. Have at it, please?
I didn't answer all the questions in the questionnaire because I found some of them repetitive or pointless or boring but I did the best I could. If you need more information on anything particular, shoot a question at me and I'll try to answer it.
Thanks for reading.
1. What makes you angry?
I almost skipped over this because my answers are so generic but I figured I might as well because I think I have unresolved anger issues. I used to be a placid kid for the most part but with rare episodes of blinding, nauseating rage. I guess I'm still the same way. I fantasize about punching someone in the mouth at least once a week (usually for bad behavior on the train … seriously, people are total fucking jerks on public transit.) Anyway, the three things that tip me over the edge: when people treat me or my loved ones poorly or with any kind of disrespect; cruelty; unfairness; excessive, narrow-minded greed; sociopathic behavior.
Minor frustrations: whiny people who won't do anything to fix easily fixed problems. I get that everyone needs a little sympathy and motivation when they're feeling low but constant whining is extremely irritating.
2. What do you like most about people?
Fortitude and resilience, particularly in the face of misfortune. Insightful, interesting people who have lived life and have stories to tell. Clear sighted people with good hearts. I don't know, this is hard to say. For me, either there's a connection, a rapid "click" or there's just not and no amount of wishing and forcing will make it happen. I don't dislike most people and I wish them well and would like to think I'd intervene on their behalf if they were being treated unfairly but I don't care personally about the vast majority and find it very hard to pretend I do or find them interesting when I don't.
3 Do you like animals? Why?
Yes, very much, for the most part. I find pets fun and good company ... it's nice to hang out and cuddle with a dog or a cat. I love dogs especially. I also find intelligent herd animals like elephants fascinating and pair bonding birds like Sarus Cranes ... and whales and dolphins and sharks ... also snakes. And of course I like to look at pictures of bunnies in teacups and baby porcupines on the internet and I wanted to be a vet and then an ethologist when I was a kid but basically, I liked playing in our overgrown backyard and reading Gerald Durrell and James Herriot books but not actually studying science ...
4 What do you like/dislike most about yourself?
I wish I was better at managing my time and avoiding procrastination and that I didn't always leave things until the last possible minute. I also wish I had a better grip on my moods and passions and was less internally turbulent.
I very much fear that I am dull and bland and boring, that I have faded into the woodwork, that people will forget I exist, that I don't count, I have nothing new and different and exciting to offer, why would anyone want to be with me?
So when I find something or someone that truly captures my interests and welcomes me in return ... I get swayed too easily, over-involved with things and people I care about and any small misfortune or slight in those areas becomes a source of huge anxiety and pain ... I used to think I did an excellent job of hiding it but have come to realize that my mask isn't as opaque as I thought it was.
I really really really really really hate how insecure I am. Still.
I do like lots of things about me though, I am strong and determined and I have an immense ability to care and love, albeit for a limited few. I'm traditionally kinda book smart, which has opened doors for me in life, and I strike most people as intelligent and insightful without really knowing why ... the thing is, I feel bad and anxious about this because I feel like a fraud and that they will eventually see through me and it will all go to hell.
6 Do you care about being fashionable? Why/why not?
Yes, I kinda do ... I would love to look a supermodel but I am very far from that. I'm conventionally attractive in some ways but my body proportions have always been difficult to work with, even when I was thin ... and I'm far from thin right now now. I am really not happy with my body at the moment and I am working to fix it because I would like to feel fitter and stronger. Anyway, given my limitations, I don't necessarily get to wear all the clothes I'd like to wear but within the limitations I have, I try my best to pick colors and items that flatter me and go with my individual style. I care about style and fashion. I appreciate beauty and art and fashion has the potential to be both. Trends I can take or leave ... they usually don't flatter me anyway.
7 Do you prefer to fit in or stand out?
Neither. I just want to be me. As long as me isn't bland and boring. I definitely don't want to fade away into nothingness and will do my best to grab attention if I feel that happening. I like being seen. But too much attention/limelight, especially from strangers or people I don't know well, also makes me uncomfortable, particularly because I'm a.) kinda shy and b.) get drained around lots of people and prolonged scrutiny.
8 What activities do you enjoy?
Reading (especially fiction), new languages, graphic design, painting, listening to music obviously, tarot and astrology, cooking, internet, typology, spending time with my loved ones, beach, just being out in quiet, green places
9 What makes you feel secure?
Undiluted and mutual love, admiration, lust and worship of a soulmate. Genuinely being able to depend on a partner for physical and emotional support while being able to offer them the exact same thing. Having an idea or an activity to focus on so deeply that I go into a state of flow (could be anything, just has to grip me hard enough). Money, enough to enjoy life, not enough to ruffle other people's feathers. The awareness that I am competent and can do something well. Kindness.
10 Do you like being in a relationship? Why/why not?
Yes, but only if my needs for intimacy and excitement are being fed. This is as dependent on me as it is on my partner though. I prefer to be in a relationship ... or even single and at least a little bit interested in someone. I don't NEED anyone, I am self-sufficient and find myself good company but life becomes so much more colorful and enjoyable with love and romance in it and a person to share these things with. Everything looks and tastes and feels better.
11 What do you love and why? Could be people, things, places, etc...
I love many people and things and places but this particular question feels way too personal and bald for me to shout an answer into the void.
12 How much have you changed over the years? Who were you as a child?
I was quiet, shy and withdrawn but basically sweet tempered as a child with occasional bursts of temper. I grew up to be a sullen, know-it-all teenager. I've really come into my own in my late 20s though, I feel happier and more confident in myself than I've been since I was very young. I'm more assertive, more social and more articulate, more openly competitive, less hesitant to shine than I was as a kid.