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  1. #11
    libtard SJW chickpea's Avatar
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    InFP, either 9 or 4. i could relate to a lot of it.
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  2. #12
    Glamour puss with a tan Raffaella's Avatar
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    Arcana said this in another thread:

    Quote Originally Posted by Arcana View Post
    Speaking up for Sensing, I deal poorly with people who won't live in the moment or take time to smell the flowers and appreciate it because that stuff is really important to me. I used to get mad at my ENTJ ex for constantly fidgeting, being distant, tapping at his phone, cooking up unrelated plans at the exact same time when we were actually doing something fun like watching a street performance or out at the beach (granted, he was also a 7 who wanted it all, all the time and was constantly afraid of missing the boat ...) Anyway, there's so much beauty and color and excitement in the world and it really hurts me feelings when the people I love aren't present to that. I like good food (and cooking) and beautiful places and new experiences and it's very important to me to share that with a mate. And I'm getting to the age (god, I sound like a grandma) where impractical people who are incapable of taking care of themselves and lack basic life skills kinda make me roll my eyes.
    Which indicates ISFP to me.

    Quote Originally Posted by Arcana View Post
    Is this exclusive to 9s? I'm asking because I feel this way as well ... and it is why I also mistyped as a 9 for a long time. I felt average. So average that I was practically invisible. And I saw that everyone around me was better at making their problems known than I was and got negative reactions whenever I tried to express my own. So I started trying to believe that it was because my problems didn't matter. Or that, at least, they were no different from anyone else's because the problems I do have arise from just being human.

    It's only when someone pointed out that I use self-deprecation and effacement as a persona - a persona which is perhaps more crafted than I gave it credit for - that I started considering the fact that I was indeed a 4.

    But for all that, I still do think my problems don't count for much with others and have a hard time truly expressing them unless I am very upset or angry.

    I guess I'm wondering what makes the 9 brand of self-neglect tick.
    And, this could indicate e9 (and inferior Te), I'm not so sure.

    #creep
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  3. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by Deceptive View Post
    Arcana said this in another thread:



    Which indicates ISFP to me.



    And, this could indicate e9 (and inferior Te), I'm not so sure.

    #creep

    Yeah I agree with this, and relate, especially to the part about impractical people who can't take care of themselves. I used to think it was a class thing, like it used to make me want to tear my hair out.

    However, we could also attribute annoyance with a highly distracted mate to varying things, like being an sx dom in enneagram (we experience intimacy by sharing this together, unified) to genuinely picking up on him not being as attentive to her as a caring partner probably should be. I know one of the reasons I like doing things alone is because I don't like when people with shitty attitudes or less interest in the. . Whatever thing...mess up my experience.

    But yeah this makes a pretty solid case for ISFP, imo.
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  4. #14
    Happy Halloween! Codex's Avatar
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    ESFJ, 3w2 of course
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  5. #15
    Senior Member senza tema's Avatar
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    Really good feedback, you guys. Thanks so much.

    Lots to respond to here so this is probably going to be spread over several posts.

    @Chanaynay

    I actually did self-type as a 9 for a really really long time. I originally scored 4w5/5w4 on all my enneagram tests and decided to go with 5w4 because the emphasis on withdrawn intellect made sense to me or who I wanted to be. I was in my senior year of college at the time when I first took enneagram tests; most of my friends had graduated the year before; I had finally broken up with an on-again-off-again bf who had done a number on my heart; I had a bitch roommate from hell; and I was lonely and and frustrated and just really really over people, especially because I felt like I had no one of my own. I'd also decided to take on an over-ambitious research project the previous year (mostly because I got to travel to Europe for it all summer, essentially for free ... yay, grant money) but then I had to come back and actually write the thesis and it was really difficult and demanded all my time and attention. So I became very isolated and a library basement dwelling wraith of a person and it was all completely unnatural ... I can't say I regret it, I'm proud of the work I did and I even weirdly enjoyed it and won prizes for it but it took a toll on my health and I had the longest, bleakest spell of depression I've ever had in my life after it was over.

    And depression blunted everything about me: my drive, my processing speed, my reactions, my emotions, everything ... so I definitely didn't have the sharpness of a 5 ... I'm not talking about intellect, I don't think 5s are inherently smarter than other enneatypes but they do have a more acute approach to these things and I didn't have that. I don't think I ever did, actually, even pre-depression, I was mistaking book smarts and interest in scholarly subjects for enneagram 5 without going deeper into the motivations ... anyway, with depression and my flattened affect and absolute paralyzing inertia, I typed as a 9 because it seemed the most accurate in reflecting my inner emptiness and unbeing.

    After lots of therapy and meds, I met a guy and fell in love and tumbled into a relationship and it set me on the path to recovery. It is over now but whatever its faults and shortcomings, it helped me heal and become myself in a way I think only love can do. Three years later, I finally feel like myself again. It didn't come easy though ... there have been big upheavals in my life and career and as I worked through the relationship, I began to remember that I had always been this moody, temperamental, touchy person lurking underneath an eggshell veneer of placidity. My buttons are easily pushed and I get mad or hurt quickly, especially when people I love disappoint me ... I keep track of power in relationships pretty much automatically and fret about ceding too much, though when I'm really in love it's not something I can help ... I'm compelled to show the full extent of my feelings and I can't play the keep-him-guessing games for shit when my feelings are really involved.

    I had come to think of myself as a 9 during depression but began to realize afresh that I'm not driven to avoid conflict ... I don't seek it out but it does energize me in small doses and I have a hard time backing away from fights once I'm emotionally invested. I thought I was an gut/anger type because I felt a lot of anger "deep down" but the main reason it was deep down was because I was depressed, not because I normally repress it My current anger issues probably stem largely from the failure of my relationship ... the stress from that has definitely been rubbing off onto other areas of my life. I turn emotional pain into anger a lot ... that's what used to happen when I was a kid, too.

    I talked to someone who knows me quite well and has a good intuitive sense for who I am as a person as well as astoundingly penetrating ideas on typology and she thought I was a 4w5 or cp6w5, who for some reason was pursuing a persona of 9ness. And I think there's some merit to the idea that I'm a reactive type, though I don't think I'm all that reactive.

    ---

    Bahahahaha. Why did I write so much? I bet no one wanted to read that text wall at all. Sorry, folks. Anyway, onward.
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  6. #16
    Senior Member senza tema's Avatar
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    -you either "click" with someone or you don't: yes

    -focus on fairness: yes

    -you fear having no discernible identity so you easily get attached to things: actually, no, this is not it, exactly. I have a hard time getting attached to things because little consumes my interest to the extent I can forget myself ... so when something does, I cling on to it for dear life.

    -externally placid, but internally turbulent: yup

    -you value your humanistic, caring, loving side: I do and I would like to cultivate it more but feel that not everyone is worthy of my love and care

    -you're aware of when your presence to others is fading: yes

    -likes attention but not too much: yes, I thrive on the right kind

    -shy and moody as a child, became more assertive as an adult: I'm still shy and moody ... I wasn't really assertive as a child but I rarely had to be, to be honest. My teachers left me to my own devices, I had plenty of friends despite being quiet and weird, no one really picked on me and when they did, I chewed them out and they left me alone afterwards ... In my own way, I was even kinda popular in middle/high school, which I was always weirded out by ... I wasn't in any one clique but used to straddle several simultaneously because I was good friends with certain individuals.

    I'm definitely more assertive as an adult though.
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  7. #17
    Senior Member senza tema's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Marmotini View Post

    However, we could also attribute annoyance with a highly distracted mate to varying things, like being an sx dom in enneagram (we experience intimacy by sharing this together, unified) to genuinely picking up on him not being as attentive to her as a caring partner probably should be. I know one of the reasons I like doing things alone is because I don't like when people with shitty attitudes or less interest in the. . Whatever thing...mess up my experience.
    YES, this is me, exactly. Either put out or get out.
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  8. #18
    Senior Member senza tema's Avatar
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    So it definitely sounds like I'm dissing 9s in my long ass post ... I really like a lot of real 9s and find them weirdly romantic and stylish and unselfconsciously insightful and awesome and envy their poise. It's a type I both idealize and revile as far as I myself am concerned ... I was thinking about this the other day ... and the 4's idea of holy origin, the lesson that they struggle to accept is that they too come from the same place of universal love and unity as everyone else ... whereas that's a temptation that 9s have to fight sinking into. The types are connected.

    I feel like I was trying to force the holy origin thing on myself by calling myself a 9 and it really didn't help anything.
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  9. #19
    Senior Member Mal12345's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Deceptive View Post
    Arcana said this in another thread:



    Which indicates ISFP to me.



    And, this could indicate e9 (and inferior Te), I'm not so sure.

    #creep
    From the OP I was thinking along the lines of ISFP, and in terms of which enneagram, 9w8 sp/sx.
    "Everyone has a plan till they get punched in the mouth." Mike Tyson
    “Culture?” says Paul McCartney. “This isn't culture. It's just a good laugh.”
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  10. #20
    Senior Member Mal12345's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Codex View Post
    ESFJ, 3w2 of course
    Really?
    "a.) kinda shy and b.) get drained around lots of people and prolonged scrutiny."
    "Everyone has a plan till they get punched in the mouth." Mike Tyson
    “Culture?” says Paul McCartney. “This isn't culture. It's just a good laugh.”
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