What's my Enneagram?

[Jaguar]

I think what I relate to most about 2w1 is the fears. Not being valued/needed, not being competent or able to contribute.

TWOS want to be liked, try to meet the needs of others, and attempt to orchestrate the people and events in their lives.
BASIC CONCERN: Am I needed? Will others like me?

THREES organize their lives to achieve specific goals and to appear successful in order to gain the respect and admiration of others.
BASIC CONCERN: How can I gain the respect and esteem of others?

Go here:
http://theenneagraminbusiness.com/the-enneagram/find-your-enneagram-style/

Click on the enneagram symbol, then click on enneagram style differentiators.
Also, grab a copy of Jerome Wagner's book. It may clarify a lot for you.

Nine Lenses on the World: the Enneagram Perspective: Jerome Peter Wagner: 9780982762004: Amazon.com: Books

 

[Mal12345]

TWOS want to be liked, try to meet the needs of others, and attempt to orchestrate the people and events in their lives.
BASIC CONCERN: Am I needed? Will others like me?

THREES organize their lives to achieve specific goals and to appear successful in order to gain the respect and admiration of others.
BASIC CONCERN: How can I gain the respect and esteem of others?

Go here:
Find your Enneagram style - The Enneagram in Business

Click on the enneagram symbol, then click on enneagram style differentiators.

I'm trying to convince Showbread that she's a healthy type 3. You've given her a description of an average 3.

 

[Showbread]

So, after watching some 3 videos and doing some research I think it might be a legitimate possibility. I think the reason I've never considered it as a type before is because it's one of the parts of myself that I really don't like. But, in some ways it almost makes me sick how much I relate to being concerned about the way I'm perceived and needing to be constantly busy.

I think the reason I chose 2 initially is because one of the ways I look for approval and busy myself is in nurturing my friendships and taking care of people. It's one of the things I am really good at, so I choose it often. I do gain an immense amount of satisfaction from helping and being loved. But, at the end of the day it's really not that difficult for me to put my own needs first. Taking on too much and compulsively giving of myself isn't really something I struggle with.

I also think 2 and 3 are very similar in that they derive their self-worth from the way others treat them. And I think that because I am such a feeler love and respect are almost synonymous for me. I also think that my fear of failure is extremely interconnected with my fear of being unloved. In my mind, failing/quitting somehow makes me unlovable/unworthy of love. So, instead I try to earn it by giving.

I definitely have a strong 2 wing, and I am very confident in my fix as a 6, 1. Also, the name of the archetype for 361 is "The Taskmaster," which is definitely a word I would use to describe myself.

So, @Hard, @Starry, @EJCC, @small.wonder, and anyone else who watched the video. Thoughts? Seriously considering adopting 3w2 6w7 1w9 so/sp as my new type.

 

[á´…eparted]

So, after watching some 3 videos and doing some research I think it might be a legitimate possibility. I think the reason I've never considered it as a type before is because it's one of the parts of myself that I really don't like. But, in some ways it almost makes me sick how much I relate to being concerned about the way I'm perceived and needing to be constantly busy.

I think the reason I chose 2 initially is because one of the ways I look for approval and busy myself is in nurturing my friendships and taking care of people. It's one of the things I am really good at, so I choose it often. I do gain an immense amount of satisfaction from helping and being loved. But, at the end of the day it's really not that difficult for me to put my own needs first. Taking on too much and compulsively giving of myself isn't really something I struggle with.

I also think 2 and 3 are very similar in that they derive their self-worth from the way others treat them. And I think that because I am such a feeler love and respect are almost synonymous for me. I also think that my fear of failure is extremely interconnected with my fear of being unloved. In my mind, failing/quitting somehow makes me unlovable/unworthy of love. So, instead I try to earn it by giving.

I definitely have a strong 2 wing, and I am very confident in my fix as a 6, 1. Also, the name of the archetype for 361 is "The Taskmaster," which is definitely a word I would use to describe myself.

So, Hard, Starry, EJCC, small.wonder, and anyone else who watched the video. Thoughts? Seriously considering adopting 3w2 6w7 1w9 so/sp as my new type.

After hearing the suggestion, and seeing that it resonates with you in that "I was avoiding it because I didn't like that part of myself" way is really convincing that it's your type. The fact of the matter is, enneagram is negative and kinda berating. I learned I was a 1w2 in 2010 when an old INFJforum member by the name of TDHT (I miss her) suddenly came to me and said "you are not a 5w4. You're a 1w2, and here is why:" and she went into explaining it. I rejected it at first because I just never considered it. But something about her words stuck, and when I opened up to it, and looked into it, there was very much that "...OUCH" feeling associated with it. I knew it was right, and began to admit it. I have seen this sort of thing happen with others before, where a type is suggested that they haven't considered (for whatever reason) and when they actually do (usually spurred by another telling them it's their type), it sticks. I don't get that lacking of genuineness that 3's can have, and I have had limited interactions with 3's in my life (not sure why), so I don't know them too well.

I think you're the one that's going to figure this out, not us .

 

[HongDou]

I think the reason I chose 2 initially is because one of the ways I look for approval and busy myself is in nurturing my friendships and taking care of people. It's one of the things I am really good at, so I choose it often. I do gain an immense amount of satisfaction from helping and being loved. But, at the end of the day it's really not that difficult for me to put my own needs first. Taking on too much and compulsively giving of myself isn't really something I struggle with.

This part sounds EXACTLY like my ENFJ 3w2 bestie. She prides herself on knowing how to handle people, but has no problems putting herself over someone else. We frequently talk on the phone a lot and her ability to read people is something she talks about a lot. She's really shameless in this respect too - I can't count you the number of times I've heard a "...because you know, I'm really good at dealing with people" or a "I think I'm really good at ____." The difference is I used to think she was 9w8 instead of 2w1.

It's definitely a reasonable consideration. Although I've never really had this experience you and [MENTION=20829]Hard[/MENTION] have experienced. I'm jealous haha. I guess to be fair when someone like [MENTION=10082]Starry[/MENTION] brings up something that's apparently common among E7s I just kind of deny it and go "I'm not like that!" until I look back and I'm like "oh shit....yeah."

 

[Showbread]

I don't get that lacking of genuineness that 3's can have, and I have had limited interactions with 3's in my life (not sure why), so I don't know them too well.

I think you're the one that's going to figure this out, not us .

I was just talking to my roommate about it and she agrees that I come off much more genuine and self-aware than a typical 3w2. Her theory is that my 4 wing manifests as self-awareness. Which, I think makes a lot of sense. She has a 3w2 dad who is completely oblivious.

I think I already have decided, I'm just once again looking for affirmation that I have made the right choice.

The more I think about it, the more evidence of my 3ness I see. Even in the integration and disintegration. As a 2 I never saw myself integrating to 4... But, I definitely see myself as having potential to be a healthy 6. And under pressure I kind of shut down and flee from decisiveness like a 9.

 

[small.wonder]

[MENTION=19948]Showbread[/MENTION] So then my 6 observations make sense after all, not just as your fix but as you integration point! Bravo, I do agree.

The lack of authenticity for 3's thing is really more about not knowing who they are than just being fake. Because they "sacrificed their hearts desire" at a young age in order to be what their culture values, they have to try on different selves to figure out who they really are-- they also use this chameleon thing to be whatever they need to be to win (a game, a person, a job, whatever). As to what [MENTION=17131]Chanaynay[/MENTION] said, 3's don't so much know people well, as they know what people want/need and how to give it to them. They acheive to win.

I agree that you seem like a pretty healthy 3. Can you see the average 3 stuff in your more average/unhealthy/stressed seasons or moments?

 

[EJCC]

So, after watching some 3 videos and doing some research I think it might be a legitimate possibility. I think the reason I've never considered it as a type before is because it's one of the parts of myself that I really don't like. But, in some ways it almost makes me sick how much I relate to being concerned about the way I'm perceived and needing to be constantly busy.

I think the reason I chose 2 initially is because one of the ways I look for approval and busy myself is in nurturing my friendships and taking care of people. It's one of the things I am really good at, so I choose it often. I do gain an immense amount of satisfaction from helping and being loved. But, at the end of the day it's really not that difficult for me to put my own needs first. Taking on too much and compulsively giving of myself isn't really something I struggle with.

I also think 2 and 3 are very similar in that they derive their self-worth from the way others treat them. And I think that because I am such a feeler love and respect are almost synonymous for me. I also think that my fear of failure is extremely interconnected with my fear of being unloved. In my mind, failing/quitting somehow makes me unlovable/unworthy of love. So, instead I try to earn it by giving.

I definitely have a strong 2 wing, and I am very confident in my fix as a 6, 1. Also, the name of the archetype for 361 is "The Taskmaster," which is definitely a word I would use to describe myself.

So, @Hard, @Starry, @EJCC, @small.wonder, and anyone else who watched the video. Thoughts? Seriously considering adopting 3w2 6w7 1w9 so/sp as my new type.

Sounds good to me!

Your process here makes sense. Hell, part of why I wasn't sure if I was a 1, at first, was because I didn't relate to descriptions of average and unhealthy 1s. Or I'd say, "I used to be like that, and am not like that now".

 

[Mal12345]

So, after watching some 3 videos and doing some research I think it might be a legitimate possibility. I think the reason I've never considered it as a type before is because it's one of the parts of myself that I really don't like. But, in some ways it almost makes me sick how much I relate to being concerned about the way I'm perceived and needing to be constantly busy.

I think the reason I chose 2 initially is because one of the ways I look for approval and busy myself is in nurturing my friendships and taking care of people. It's one of the things I am really good at, so I choose it often. I do gain an immense amount of satisfaction from helping and being loved. But, at the end of the day it's really not that difficult for me to put my own needs first. Taking on too much and compulsively giving of myself isn't really something I struggle with.

I also think 2 and 3 are very similar in that they derive their self-worth from the way others treat them. And I think that because I am such a feeler love and respect are almost synonymous for me. I also think that my fear of failure is extremely interconnected with my fear of being unloved. In my mind, failing/quitting somehow makes me unlovable/unworthy of love. So, instead I try to earn it by giving.

I definitely have a strong 2 wing, and I am very confident in my fix as a 6, 1. Also, the name of the archetype for 361 is "The Taskmaster," which is definitely a word I would use to describe myself.

So, @Hard, @Starry, @EJCC, @small.wonder, and anyone else who watched the video. Thoughts? Seriously considering adopting 3w2 6w7 1w9 so/sp as my new type.

I was the one who suggested 3w2. I'm glad you got on the right track despite the fact that you doubt me.

 

[HongDou]

I was the one who suggested 3w2. I'm glad you got on the right track despite the fact that you doubt me.

In recognition of your outstanding efforts, the people present to you this award!

 

[Mal12345]

In recognition of your outstanding efforts, the people present to you this award!

Tried what?

The Enneagram is easy to type people with. So I really didn't have to try.

 

[HongDou]

Tried what?

The Enneagram is easy to type people with. So I really didn't have to try.

Huh, it seemed like you were asking for some sort of recognition.

 

[Mal12345]

Huh, it seemed like you were asking for some sort of recognition.

Ah yes. Recognition. I forgot what that was!

 

[Coriolis]

A derail to indulge in personal bickering has been moved to Off-Topic Posts. Please keep this sort of thing off the main forum.

 

[Starry]

So, @Hard, @Starry, @EJCC, @small.wonder, and anyone else who watched the video. Thoughts? Seriously considering adopting 3w2 6w7 1w9 so/sp as my new type.

Showbread - forgive me for having abandoned you here. You're such I lovely person...my intention was to be here for the duration but whatever I get to be here now.

I think you've got it right now Showbread which always makes me happy for people when they nail-it. Although I will say my mind instantly recalled another ESFJ 3w2 so/sp I have known... and let me just take this opportunity to warn against repeated "hospitalization following work exhaustion" as that might be a problem for you guys haha.

 

[Showbread]

Showbread - forgive me for having abandoned you here. You're such I lovely person...my intention was to be here for the duration but whatever I get to be here now.

No worries. Life gets busy.

I think you've got it right now Showbread which always makes me happy for people when they nail-it. Although I will say my mind instantly recalled another ESFJ 3w2 so/sp I have known... and let me just take this opportunity to warn against repeated "hospitalization following work exhaustion" as that might be a problem for you guys haha.

Haha! I will do my best. Thankfully I take pretty good care of myself. Sleep is most definitely a priority.

 

[Starry]

No worries. Life gets busy.



Haha! I will do my best. Thankfully I take pretty good care of myself. Sleep is most definitely a priority.

I'm so glad.

Lets say that at some point in the near future you are a supervisor of a small division with one ENFP subordinate that is sometimes late and completely incapable of operating any piece of office equipment no matter how many times it's explained to her...

What if that employee gave you a late birthday card that said "You're such I lovely person"

Would you start to develop negative feelings for this subordinate?




haha
you can answer me privately