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  1. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by tsumatachi_san View Post
    I've recently had the comment I might be INFP. Would anyone have any helpful input they could give?

    I've been looking through your posts in this thread and the other three where you have been struggling with nailing down your personality type.

    INFP/INTP?
    INTP or INTJ?
    INTP or INFP?

    You don't quite fit perfectly in terms of the type descriptions for the types you've been looking at, at least at first glance. So I'll give you my perspective and ask some questions. I do believe that you are an INFP, and I'll try to confirm that with you as you provide more information to my questions. It is however important that you be honest with yourself when answering.

    This first post in one of the threads is very telling.
    I've been typed as an INFJ for a long time, but I've never really felt I understood the functions properly. And, after some research, I looked up Ne and discovered that's there instead of the Ni I first thought. I still know I lead with an introverted function, but it's pretty close between Fi and Ti (a bit more to Fi).

    I tend to make judgements based on logic, but a logic that is very flexible and can change quickly without me even realising it. However, I also tend to judge based on what I believe to be right, as well as it being logical. I don't like to colour situations with my feelings if they aren't about me, as it takes away from the external situation. I do, however, use emotions a lot as a judge and a sort of 'filter' for things - if I like/dislike things, if something bad/good has been done etc..

    I find that, often, I am polite to people because that keeps people from getting angry/engaged with me and if I smile (which I seem to do a lot as a nervous tick) I get left alone. I very rarely argue with anyone, only the people I'm closest to, or if I can't let something go. I don't really hold grudges or take criticism badly, but I am sensitive to people's words and am affected by them greatly (recently, my mum told me not to take things employees in somewhere said personally, and as I went to deny that I did, I realised I couldn't).
    It seems that your judgements are based on logic, but you do feel the emotions significantly and manage to keep them in check.
    You also are to be quite sensitive to what other people say. But it appears that you don't quite want to admit it or acknowledge the feelings. Would it be fair to say that avoiding engagement with people ensures that you are not hurt? The underlined portion in the quote above is a complete contradiction. You're saying that you don't take criticism badly and yet you are very sensitive to people's words.


    Here are some more examples from your posts. I've bolded the parts that show you doing things to avoid conflict, and also where you are socially anxious or sensitive. The underlined portion is where you seem to be denying how sensitive you are to other people's criticism.

    Hmm, maybe. I tend not to be concerned with social expectations and pretty much do my own thing (as long as I don't stand out, I'm fine). I do feel I'm being polite to avoid confrontations a fair amount of the time, but also that being polite is kind of... good. I keep telling my sister that manners cost nothing, lol.


    list of traits:
    -very independent
    -dislikes confrontation
    -hard worker (but could work harder)

    -slightly obsessive
    -doesn't need much time with people, but enjoys close friends' company on and off
    -struggles with work (I'm very unsure of myself in the workplace)
    -doesn't struggle with education (I feel very confident in a classroom)
    -very shy and socially anxious


    I used to be more emotionally driven and use my emotions to judge something (good/bad, right/wrong etc.), but now I detach myself from things and look at them very objectively - even on personal matters. I can rationalise things to myself, but I guess in the end my emotions are still 'in charge' because I can say 'this is this', but I'll still feel a certain way about it.


    With the 'dread of the opposite sex' thing, I feel more concerned by the idea of people being interested in me and focusing on me.


    When I worked in a bakery (which was very fast-paced) I did each task exactly the same, in the same order and at the same pace. I never bothered to think about how to improve it, because I just didn't care about the job enough - however, I still worked a lot more efficiently than my co-workers and only got told off a couple of times for speaking too quietly (I tried a little to speak louder and practised projecting my voice, but it just didn't work, so I explained about having chronic throat infections etc.). Overall, I did just what was expected/needed and no more.
    When I worked in a clothes shop, I tended to work at the pace set (given an hour to tidy the sale rack, did it a little faster, but kept fiddling with it until time was up). I also didn't mind the tasks everyone else said were awful, like cleaning gum out an escalator (mostly because I didn't have to talk to people while I did it).
    In both jobs, I had the habit of trying to figure things out by myself rather than ask - I went and searched for something for a while until my boss came to find me and told me to ask next time, and in the clothes shop I walked very confidently in the wrong direction when asked to get some shoes.


    I can get slightly scattered when stressed, and I tend to get stressed in customer service jobs, so that's one explanation.


    I find that I try to reason out emotions, like if I'm feeling unhappy, I ask myself why and try to find the root cause. I also rarely act purely on either gut feelings or emotions, because each time I have previously, it led to an unpleasant situation. I do have very strong principles and do tend to call people up on things I think are incorrect or 'wrong', unless it's related to me. I guess I am quite impersonal.


    5) What tends to weigh on your decisions? (Do you think about people, pro-cons, how you feel about it, etc.)
    Mostly pros and cons. I used to worry more about people getting upset and/or angry and there being an argument (they're tiring), but now I tend not to be very affected by arguments.
    With decisions such as which course to take in university, I worked out what I enjoyed/found fulfilling (writing and languages), then which would be the most useful in the long run/which I thought I needed teaching to help me with (languages), so went with languages.


    19) How do your friends perceive you? What is wrong about their perception? What would your friends never say about your personality?
    I asked, because I have no idea:
    "You have an air of being a bit sad, very smart, like your brain's working a lot, very singular logic (your own, no one else's), caring but forgetful, when you're stressed you tend to get upset easily, you don't like to let on that people's opinions matter to you, you're very protective, you hate invasions of personal space, you like to have fun, but also enjoy learning a lot, you like to be with people but also away from them, your face reveals your emotions easily."


    Hm, what exactly makes you say that? Can you elaborate? One thing I find is that I'm not particularly sensitive, so I'm not easily offended or hurt by others.
    What are your thoughts on this?


    Now here are some questions:


    As for the question: I guess not seeing the results of their actions, not noticing their impact and stuff. Being unreasonable (cutting off their nose to spite their face etc.), or suddenly changing their mind about something important.


    15) What makes you dislike the personalities of some people?
    I don't like rude, unimaginative people who can't see anything other than their own opinion and way of life. Also people who force their opinions on others or cause harm. Selfishness is also really annoying.
    The above quote has your responses to questions about what you don't like in some people. I notice there are no strong feelings being expressed here. Also I notice that you haven't mentioned anything about bullies (something that you have experienced yourself). Would it bother you to talk about strong negative feelings when it comes to people you don't like, such as bullies?


    However, when I did work experience in a library (and was a lot more comfortable) I did every task in a surprisingly fast time and didn't mind asking where things were.
    Could you say more about why it was more comfortable to work in the library rather than the other two places.



    2) What do you yearn for in life? Why?
    To create something good - good by my standard of the word. I want to make something I can be proud of and reach a high level of proficiency at my writing. I also want to learn several languages, if possible, because if I travel and find myself in a country with a language I can't understand, I feel disturbed (happened recently when I went to France to visit a friend).
    Could you say more about why it is disturbing to not know the local language? Does this have anything at all to do with wanting to connect with the people in the most authentic manner possible?


    -hard on self (only recently realised I'm pretty mean to myself)

    -I'm very driven, almost perfectionistic - if something doesn't live up to my standards, I want to alter it (including myself - for example, if I don't do so well in a test, I'll throw myself into studying for the next one as well as reviewing everything I did wrong).
    Does doing well and being competent eliminate one possible reason for criticism from others?


    Generally, I find they usually have something to do with a persona they wish to present to an audience, their friends. Except for a couple of friends who appear very geniune and mostly seem to have motivations like caring for others or, in the case of one, being in control of her environment, I tend to find these out by watching people for a long time in various situations to see how they respond. But I don't like immediately cataloguing people, as simple as that would be, because it would be unfair and disrespectful to them.
    I take it, this is a strong value?
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  2. #12
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    Thank you for the reply. I've put my responses in bold below.

    Quote Originally Posted by robert666 View Post
    It seems that your judgements are based on logic, but you do feel the emotions significantly and manage to keep them in check.
    You also are to be quite sensitive to what other people say. But it appears that you don't quite want to admit it or acknowledge the feelings. Would it be fair to say that avoiding engagement with people ensures that you are not hurt? The underlined portion in the quote above is a complete contradiction. You're saying that you don't take criticism badly and yet you are very sensitive to people's words.
    Hm, possibly. I think it's a combination of not wanting to get involved, thus losing time and energy, but I also don't like that I can be sensitive to things. I'm not massively sensitive overall - not like some of my friends - but I have certain things which I'll react stronger to. I.e. I'm very aware of being considered 'smart' and feel pressure because of that. The thing is, it's not a contradiction; I don't take criticism badly (as long as it's constructive) because I know I can always learn more and improve, but I'm sensitive to (not offended by) things people say sometimes.

    Here are some more examples from your posts. I've bolded the parts that show you doing things to avoid conflict, and also where you are socially anxious or sensitive. The underlined portion is where you seem to be denying how sensitive you are to other people's criticism.


    What are your thoughts on this?
    Well, I don't really get offended by things or take things personally. It's more that I make note of things people say and a seemingly harmless comment can haunt me for a while after - not because I'm wondering what they meant or anything, but more that it just bothered me subconsciously and it keeps popping back up.

    Now here are some questions:




    The above quote has your responses to questions about what you don't like in some people. I notice there are no strong feelings being expressed here. Also I notice that you haven't mentioned anything about bullies (something that you have experienced yourself). Would it bother you to talk about strong negative feelings when it comes to people you don't like, such as bullies?
    I don't really tend to severely dislike people. I mostly get frustrated when they're causing me, or people I care about, problems. There are some people who do things which are awful, like animal and child abusers, which gives me a feeling of strong sadness and anger overall. Bullies I find difficult, because a lot of the time either they're just not thinking that their actions are causing hurt, or they've had something happen to them which makes them want to hurt, and that's pretty depressing. I tend to get frustrated at the schools/systems/parents that allow it to happen.


    Could you say more about why it was more comfortable to work in the library rather than the other two places.
    Because it was a quiet, slower environment without too much going on and I could concentrate entirely on just a couple of tasks at a time. There was almost no human interaction either, bar asking a few questions and getting some instructions, so I was left to work independently. I really don't like working with the public.



    Could you say more about why it is disturbing to not know the local language? Does this have anything at all to do with wanting to connect with the people in the most authentic manner possible?
    Hm, I don't think so. It's more that I can't stand the feeling of being completely unable to understand. I want to be able to say simple things without being confused by them as well as understanding things.


    Does doing well and being competent eliminate one possible reason for criticism from others?
    It's more self-criticism I'm afraid of. My friends and family are very supportive and genuinely just want me to do my best - or even just as much as I want to do. My mum is always proud of anything I achieve, so I don't feel any pressure from outside.


    I take it, this is a strong value?
    Fairly, but not the strongest. It's more that it's very easy to label people or things and put it into a box, which makes it comfortable to think about because it's easily comprehensible, but that's lazy and reduces them/it to much less than they/it should be.
    I hope that helps!

  3. #13
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    Based on the information that I provided in my previous post it would seem clear that you are very socially anxious and sensitive to what other people say. Yet you seem to not consider this significant because you are not offended by it. If I were socially anxious or sensitive to people and deliberately avoided engagement or contact because I was afraid that they would be angry, then I would see this as having a serious impact on my life. Unfortunately since we are in disagreement on this, it is not possible for me to confirm your personality type with you.
    I wish you the best in determining your personality type.

  4. #14
    Member tsumatachi_san's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by robert666 View Post
    Based on the information that I provided in my previous post it would seem clear that you are very socially anxious and sensitive to what other people say. Yet you seem to not consider this significant because you are not offended by it. If I were socially anxious or sensitive to people and deliberately avoided engagement or contact because I was afraid that they would be angry, then I would see this as having a serious impact on my life. Unfortunately since we are in disagreement on this, it is not possible for me to confirm your personality type with you.
    I wish you the best in determining your personality type.
    I'm not sure if you've misinterpreted my previous posts. I have been recovering from social anxiety/agoraphobia for a while, but that's different from being sensitive to criticism - it's more of an anxiety of making a fool of myself in public. I don't deliberately avoid contact/engagement with others, but instead am very selective, as I don't like to waste time/resources on unrewarding investments in both people and activities. I don't disagree it has an impact on my life, but it's not as bad as I think you've interpreted it to be.
    Thank you for your input, it was very interesting.

  5. #15
    Senior Member Forever_Jung's Avatar
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    Your behaviour under stress "outbursts, clumsiness", your lack of interest in your food/surroundings sounds like inferior Se. You also seemed more concerned with being competent than with knowing things for their own sake. You certainly have your own interests, but you also sound more practical than most INTP's. Also, I find an INTP's face is usually very hard to read. INFP's have a similar thing, where they're feeling a lot, but it's not manifesting itself on the surface. I think it's a Ji thing.
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  6. #16
    Member tsumatachi_san's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Forever_Jung View Post
    Your behaviour under stress "outbursts, clumsiness", your lack of interest in your food/surroundings sounds like inferior Se. You also seemed more concerned with being competent than with knowing things for their own sake. You certainly have your own interests, but you also sound more practical than most INTP's. Also, I find an INTP's face is usually very hard to read. INFP's have a similar thing, where they're feeling a lot, but it's not manifesting itself on the surface. I think it's a Ji thing.
    Thank you for the reply. What do you think would be your best guess? Even just functions without order would be helpful.

  7. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by tsumatachi_san View Post
    Thank you for the reply. What do you think would be your best guess? Even just functions without order would be helpful.
    Sorry, I didn't realize I hadn't said it explicitly, but I was driving at an INTJ typing.
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  8. #18
    Member tsumatachi_san's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Forever_Jung View Post
    Sorry, I didn't realize I hadn't said it explicitly, but I was driving at an INTJ typing.
    Ah, okay, thanks for clarifying!

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