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  1. #21
    The Dark Lord The Wailing Specter's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Starry View Post
    Thank you as well for your emotional honesty as it helps me too... being reminded we're not alone in this. Which is half the self-improvement battle I feel and why I feel these type of materials are so effective. Being reminded that you are not alone on your journey, opening-up and finding the encouragement to take another step forward. I very much appreciate your posts.
    Thank you, starry.
    Whatever happens will happen. I can just accept that, with whatever ups and downs come my way.
    Enneagram: 6w7 (phobic) > 2w1 > 9w1
    Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
    Holland Code: AIS
    Date of Birth: March 15, 1996
    Gender: Male
    Political Stance: Libertarian Liberal (Arizona School/Strong BHL)
    ATHEIST UNITARIAN UNIVERSALIST HUMANIST
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    SCIENCE ENTHUSIAST


    I say this as a reminder to myself, but this goes for everyone:

    You can achieve anything you set your mind to, and you are limited only by how dedicated you are to succeed!

    -Magic Qwan

  2. #22
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Not knowing your own feelings is at odds with being INFP, or Fi-dominant for that matter. I don't mean emotions, but value concepts.

    People think anyone who is sensitive and feels misunderstood is INFP. In which case, are most teenagers INFP?

    I agree the OP sounds like an enneagram 9. Not knowing what you want and just doing something out of pressure from others is a sign of 9. Unhealthy 4s get nasty and bite you and then retreat to their lair.

    It's hard to Jungian type some 9s, as young ones who are, say, low-average dont seem to have a clear sense of self. People seem to frequently mistype 9s as INFP, yet INFP e9s more commonly have a stronger sense of self than common to other e9s - same with their value concepts.

    The OP is right to question a lack of knowing what is important to her as a strong indicator she may not be an Introverted Feeling type.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  3. #23
    A wannabe dog
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    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    Not knowing your own feelings is at odds with being INFP, or Fi-dominant for that matter. I don't mean emotions, but value concepts.

    People think anyone who is sensitive and feels misunderstood is INFP. In which case, are most teenagers INFP?

    I agree the OP sounds like an enneagram 9. Not knowing what you want and just doing something out of pressure from others is a sign of 9. Unhealthy 4s get nasty and bite you and then retreat to their lair.

    It's hard to Jungian type some 9s, as young ones who are, say, low-average dont seem to have a clear sense of self. People seem to frequently mistype 9s as INFP, yet INFP e9s more commonly have a stronger sense of self than common to other e9s - same with their value concepts.

    The OP is right to question a lack of knowing what is important to her as a strong indicator she may not be an Introverted Feeling type.


    Lol I suddenly wonder if I could be INFJ instead.

    I seemed to see some Ni and Fe in myself.

    For example, once I set a goal, I am very stubborn and I just have to achieve that goal, and I can never feel happy until THAT specific goal manifest into reality.
    INFJs are said to be lead Ni and they often have an inner vision of how things should be like, and I seemed to see this tendency in myself. One of my biggest goal at the moment, for example, is to become self-employed and work for myself, and this is what I envisioned myself doing as a career for an entire lifetime.
    But my family doesn't really approve of this career choice of mine, and this frustrates me deeply, I hate having to change my original plans and goals, I hate the fact that my goals are unable to manifest into reality. In my mind, this is what my ideal career should be like, I should be working for myself, and I don't want to go for any other career route, I just want THIS particular career goal of mine to manifest into reality.


    I also seemed to see some Fe in myself, for example, there was once when a coworker yelled at me. I knew I was feeling upset when she yelled at me, but I didn't know how terribly hurt I was until I started breaking down and crying.
    I was so surprised by my own reaction. I didn't even know that I was so deeply affected by the way she treated me until I broke down crying.

    And also, one of my classmates/acquaintances told me, "You are ok, except that you don't really reveal what you are thinking at times"

    But then again, I am not sure whether the above situations that I am describing is correlated with Ni and Fe, I still have lots to learn about these functions.

  4. #24
    an abyss of Nothingness Arctic Hysteria's Avatar
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    Some INFPs act like they have lots of J, some INFJs appear like they have a lot of P. I know an INFJ that whoever gets to see his tears should feel privileged, because he just doesn't cry in front of anybody. He's always tender, dreamy, light and slightly melancholic. But then I know another INFJ who would love and hate very clearly, people are divided into either friends or enemies, and his facebook is daily updated with sarcastic revelations and thoughts. THEN I know an INFP who appears almost like the second INFJ.
    For myself, the J is naturally forced out of me when I'm in charge or around others, but deeply in my mind, the P is watching out.

    But one thing for sure, you'll be more likely to catch the Fe-Ti say "you should" this and that.
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  5. #25
    A wannabe dog
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    Quote Originally Posted by Arctic Hysteria View Post
    Some INFPs act like they have lots of J, some INFJs appear like they have a lot of P. I know an INFJ that whoever gets to see his tears should feel privileged, because he just doesn't cry in front of anybody. He's always tender, dreamy, light and slightly melancholic. But then I know another INFJ who would love and hate very clearly, people are divided into either friends or enemies, and his facebook is daily updated with sarcastic revelations and thoughts. THEN I know an INFP who appears almost like the second INFJ.
    For myself, the J is naturally forced out of me when I'm in charge or around others, but deeply in my mind, the P is watching out.

    But one thing for sure, you'll be more likely to catch the Fe-Ti say "you should" this and that.


    Hmm I rarely say the words, "you should" and stuff like that. It actually sounds kinda condescending to tell people what they should or should not do.

    I am the "live and let live" type.

    Or maybe I am INFP afterall, I am very non-judgemental and accepting of people.

  6. #26
    an abyss of Nothingness Arctic Hysteria's Avatar
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    Lots of Fe-Ti wouldn't say things like "you should" until they're close to somebody. Saying "you should" doesn't always mean they're condescending though, it just shows how they believe their thoughts are relevant and their ideas are best to be turned into practice.

    If I have to find 1 thing that 3 INFJs I know have in common, it will be something like this: they told me about their struggles and dark time and how they have "changed and improved" yet felt judged because of those things sometimes, hence loved it when somebody would see them for who they are. Naturally, I tried to tell them I could relate and that just made me feel even closer to them, and whatever it was they chose to do or feel, it was for a reason. THEN it was my turn to tell them about my darker side and struggles and how things "had not yet" left me alone, they started to give me advice on how to change and improve because those methods worked for them. As I went on being stubborn about I was who I was and it was not that easy to just become certain ways, they would say something like, "then keep doing that, and good luck with feeling miserable for the rest of your life", etc. etc.
    Still love INFJs though. They become much more tender with age.
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  7. #27
    A wannabe dog
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    Quote Originally Posted by Arctic Hysteria View Post
    Lots of Fe-Ti wouldn't say things like "you should" until they're close to somebody. Saying "you should" doesn't always mean they're condescending though, it just shows how they believe their thoughts are relevant and their ideas are best to be turned into practice.

    This reminds me of something.. One of my xxFP friends has this tendency to confide in me about her personal problems, and sometimes I will give her advice, and she told me the way I give her advice sounds a bit harsh at times.
    I don't really say the words, "you should", but my tone when giving advice can sound a little bit harsh at times??

    I have also been accused by a few of my friends (mainly xxFP types) for being "critical". Do INFPs ever called "critical" by others? Or could I be INFJ afterall? :/

  8. #28
    an abyss of Nothingness Arctic Hysteria's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Complexity View Post
    Do INFPs ever called "critical" by others? Or could I be INFJ afterall? :/
    Yup. More often than anticipated. I know I am critical of others in certain areas. I feel the critical vibe from other INFPs in my life.
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  9. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by Arctic Hysteria View Post
    Yup. More often than anticipated. I know I am critical of others in certain areas. I feel the critical vibe from other INFPs in my life.

    Interesting. I guess our critical nature probably comes from our Fi, since Fi is supposed to be a judging function, lol.

  10. #30
    an abyss of Nothingness Arctic Hysteria's Avatar
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    When an INFJ gets critical, it's their Ti convictions motivates them to give an Fe reaction. And get ready to be pissed at or doorslammed at if you challenge their Ti.
    When an INFP gets critical, it's our compromised Fi values motivate us to use Te to challenge somebody's ideas/opinions. And get ready to see us passive aggressively disappear into our own world if our opinions are disregarded. This can sometimes be misunderstood as "doorslamming".
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