Wolfy answers a questionnaire at night because he wants to

[kyuuei]

That's why I avoid other people's babies. And let me tell you, most the women I know do not get this! They constantly ask "want to hold her?" For God's sake no. I didn't ask for a reason.

Oh Gods this so much.. :/ nothing is more stressful and boring at the same time. .. I think it almost HAS to be different with your own.. because.. if you don't hold them no one will. It's like you really can't hate taking a shower when its your body that's getting clean.
But I don't see myself getting any enjoyment out of the ritual at all. I loved my nephews so so much and I enjoyed them being born and being here... but even then, more than 5 minutes with the baby and I already hated it. I'd really struggle with the first few years.. so much so that it scares me out of the entire process entirely. If I knew 100% that my theoretical husband would be the primary caregiver and provider and be there for that baby when it was a baby, maybe.. if he was understanding of the fact that I just cannot stand them at that age.. but I've yet to see a dad as involved in the *baby* as a mom is.. Usually they get more involved when they start communicating, and just help out the mom and step in as a supportive role vs the primary care provider.. I'm not saying it doesn't happen.. I just have yet to see it. And the idea of being stuck caring for an infant constantly is terrifying and trapping. My temper also scares me.. Not that I'd take it out on the baby.. but that the baby would just have me pissed off constantly and I'd be a terrible person to other people as a result.

For a while I assumed I was just rebelling because I didn't want people just telling me I'd change my mind anyways and invalidating my ideas because that's what all women want. I thought I'd eventually warm up to the idea of having my own children.. I figured my sisters having children would draw me closer to the concept.. And as cool as my niece and nephews are.. I just could not stand them as babies. The pregnancy process pushed me so far away from it all, I felt sick to my stomach feeling my nephew moving around inside of my sister. I don't know how people want to touch the stomachs.. I can't stand it. It is only THIS year that I've really accepted my nephews and started interacting with them. 3 years is a long, long time to dislike someone over something they cannot help at all.

 

[wolfy]

Lol, I like the grill simile.

You guys are funny about babies. I love them because they're cute and their skin is all smooth and chubby and they do funny things. I just don't know what I'm going to do when they get old enough to understand that I just like looking at them and laughing.

I like them when they can run around.

 

[Chaotic Harmony]

Oh Gods this so much.. :/ nothing is more stressful and boring at the same time. .. I think it almost HAS to be different with your own.. because.. if you don't hold them no one will. It's like you really can't hate taking a shower when its your body that's getting clean.
But I don't see myself getting any enjoyment out of the ritual at all. I loved my nephews so so much and I enjoyed them being born and being here... but even then, more than 5 minutes with the baby and I already hated it. I'd really struggle with the first few years.. so much so that it scares me out of the entire process entirely. If I knew 100% that my theoretical husband would be the primary caregiver and provider and be there for that baby when it was a baby, maybe.. if he was understanding of the fact that I just cannot stand them at that age.. but I've yet to see a dad as involved in the *baby* as a mom is.. Usually they get more involved when they start communicating, and just help out the mom and step in as a supportive role vs the primary care provider.. I'm not saying it doesn't happen.. I just have yet to see it. And the idea of being stuck caring for an infant constantly is terrifying and trapping. My temper also scares me.. Not that I'd take it out on the baby.. but that the baby would just have me pissed off constantly and I'd be a terrible person to other people as a result.

For a while I assumed I was just rebelling because I didn't want people just telling me I'd change my mind anyways and invalidating my ideas because that's what all women want. I thought I'd eventually warm up to the idea of having my own children.. I figured my sisters having children would draw me closer to the concept.. And as cool as my niece and nephews are.. I just could not stand them as babies. The pregnancy process pushed me so far away from it all, I felt sick to my stomach feeling my nephew moving around inside of my sister. I don't know how people want to touch the stomachs.. I can't stand it. It is only THIS year that I've really accepted my nephews and started interacting with them. 3 years is a long, long time to dislike someone over something they cannot help at all.

I can totally relate to everything you said. I have to say that my husband felt the brunt of my frustration a lot of the time. I was never around any babies growing up, so I just don't know what to do with them. My husband really did a lot during the newborn/infant phase. I do think she helped me with my patience though! It's amazing how much less impatient I am about everything now!

 

[kyuuei]

I can totally relate to everything you said. I have to say that my husband felt the brunt of my frustration a lot of the time. I was never around any babies growing up, so I just don't know what to do with them. My husband really did a lot during the newborn/infant phase. I do think she helped me with my patience though! It's amazing how much less impatient I am about everything now!

This gives me a lot of hope. I'm no less scared.. but I'm grateful I don't feel so alone on this. I'm the only one in my whole family like this.. No one I talk to really relates.. Not really.

 

[EJCC]

Well since we're all posting ours

Personal concepts
1. What is beauty? What is love?

I've never been in love, but my experience with infatuation is similar to my experience with being overwhelmed by beauty. As much as one can say what their "type" is, or what sorts of things/people they usually find beautiful, the fact of the matter is that love and the experience of beauty are both irrational and chemical. You can't truly know when or how they'll strike you, or where they'll lead you. Putting a formula to it will probably fail, and that's besides the point anyway.

2. What are your most important values?

My "code" can probably be narrowed down to this: Honor and respect. Exuded, pointed inward, given to others, focused on the humanity and complexity of every person.

3. Do you have any sort of spiritual/religious beliefs, and why do you hold (or don't) those beliefs in the first place?

Religious: I consider myself an Episcopalian, culturally, and I try to attend church as often as I can. The values more common in the liberal/social-justice-focused segment of the church are values that resonate with me. Though I have found many of those same values in many other denominations.
Spiritual: Not sure. I believe in beauty. I believe something greater created us, and everything. I believe there's a reason that we are self-aware beings. I am not sure that I believe that "God is love" -- which is supposedly one of the great tenets of Christianity. It shocks me that some of my other spiritual Christian friends are so certain that God is love. When asked to define God in one word or phrase -- when the majority of my Episcopal group said "love" -- I said "perfection". I relate to the Platonic idea that perfection is always there, hanging over us, but I also believe that we don't have a very good grasp of what that perfection is, let alone how to get to it, or if we can get to it. Perfection could be the opposite of love. Perfection could be the Nietzschian ideal of human nature, for all we know. But if there's one thing we can be certain of, if there is a moral God, it is that God represents everything that is true and perfect and just in the universe. Whatever truth and perfection and justice may be.

4. Opinion on war and militaries? What is power to you?

It's necessary, for the security of any societal unit, for there to be an armed force with absolute loyalty to society's ruling forces. Power is the ability to control, directly or indirectly, the thoughts and/or actions of those around you.

Interests
5. What have you had long conversations about? What are your interests? Why?

Deeper topics -- otherwise I'd get bored quickly. Usually those deeper topics are either philosophical, psychological, deeply personal, or all of the above.
I'm interested in the arts, music, politics, and a million other things. Anything of practical intellectual interest to me, anything I'm good at that I find useful and/or fun, and anything that the people in my life are doing that I find interesting or necessary to react to.

6. Interested in health/medicine as a conversation topic? Are you focused on your body?

Maybe if the other person is in some kind of crisis about it, or if they've taken on some sort of project -- e.g. eating healthier. Otherwise, nope. Boring as fuck. And I have zero interest in talking about my own health either (unless, similarly, it's a project I'm doing).

7. What do you think of daily chores?

Can be a pain in the ass, or can be calming and zen. Depends on the chore. I've always loved doing laundry, especially folding laundry, but I have the deepest loathing for doing the dishes.

8. Books or films you liked? Recently read/watched or otherwise. Examples welcome.

Too many to list.
My favorite movies are usually cleverly referential (Tarantino, Scott Pilgrim), exciting and well-executed (Bourne trilogy, Matrix, other good action movies), or moving/heartwarming in an idealistic way (Dave, Frank Capra movies, Good Will Hunting, various sports movies). But plenty of my favorite movies don't fit those categories.
My favorite books -- I dunno. I don't read as much as I should. I like page-turners that are smart and clever, for the most part. Genres vary widely.

9. What has made you cry? What has made you smile? Why?

It takes very little to make me smile. For that matter, it takes very little to make me laugh uproariously. I don't cry very often, though -- maybe once every three months or so. I cry once out of every six or seven times that I want to cry. I usually want to cry when I'm overwhelmed and/or something has gone very wrong. When I do cry, I never cry for longer than a minute or two.

10. Where do you feel: at one with the environment/a sense of belonging?

When I feel one with the environment, it's not a social thing. It's personal and it's physical -- some kind of exercise or maybe an experience of external beauty (see previous answers). Whereas I feel a sense of belonging when I'm a part of a community and we're doing things together that emphasize our common interests.

Evaluation & Behaviour
11. What have people seen as your weaknesses? What do you dislike about yourself?

Some of my perceived weaknesses are things that I'm mostly fine with, because I see them as a necessary counterbalance to my positive traits. For example, being seen as "meddlesome" or "bossy" is going to come naturally when one is assertive with others and a natural leader. On the other hand, I dislike the things about myself that others see as weaknesses, and that aren't counterbalances to any positive traits. I am too cautious and too deferential to authority. I have a difficult time planning my actions in the long term, and don't listen when people warn me in advance. I am too sensitive to criticism and sometimes I take things too personally. I have a hard time making decisions when I don't have any precedent to go on. All of these things make me feel weak and I've tried to get rid of most of them, with little success.

12. What have people seen as your strengths? What do you like about yourself?

I'm reasonable, sensible, and intelligent. I exude expertise and know-how. I lead by example. I've been told I "demand respect" and that even in casual situations, I have a cool-older-sister kind of energy. I am very good at mentoring others.

13. In what areas of your life would you like help?

I need to figure out how to use my friends and family as a support system. I've been trying to figure this out for a long time. I'm better at it but still find myself either a) closing myself off to all outside contact without realizing it, or 2) wishing I could open up to others but not knowing how to do it. The first of these, I'll probably never be able to fix.

14. Ever feel stuck in a rut? If yes, describe the causes and your reaction to it.

It's almost always when I know what I need to do to move forward, but am avoiding it. My reaction is either to keep avoiding it, or stop spinning my wheels and finally take care of the problem.

People & Interactions
15. What qualities do you most like and dislike in other people? What types do you get along with?

I like people whose values mesh with mine. I like people whose senses of humor, interests, conversational styles, and lifestyles mesh with mine. There's usually a "click".

16. How do you feel about romance/sex? What qualities do you want in a partner?

I'm not in an awesome place right now re: my attitude towards romance. My experience with it was that I completely lost my self-control and good sense, and don't feel like it was worth it in retrospect. There were alarm bells going off 24/7 that I should have listened to. I don't think I can trust myself anymore in romantic situations, so I'm staying away from dating for now.
I guess that when I do start dating again, I'd want someone who meshed well with me in terms of values and lifestyle. I'd want someone who held me in high regard and was really attracted to me -- and I'd want to feel the same way about them.

17. If you were to raise a child, what would be your main concerns, what measures would you take, and why?

Giving them the benefits that my parents gave me, but without the same issues and neuroses. I'd be careful and I'd rely to an extent on help from my spouse -- what with them being an objective outsider, relatively speaking.

18. A friend makes a claim that clashes with your current beliefs. What is your inward and outward reaction?

Inwardly I'd feel immediate wariness, anger, and discomfort. Depending on the claim and the beliefs, I'd either ask them questions, call them on it, or ignore them and move on.

19. Describe your relationship to society. How do you see people as a whole? What do you consider a prevalent social problem? Name one.

Society is an unfair game played in a systematic but amoral (or often immoral) fashion. I try to play the game as well as I can without sacrificing my moral code. One prevalent social problem is the degree to which we subjugate certain classes and genders of people while claiming that we are doing no such thing -- gaslighting them into thinking that they deserve to be subjugated.

20. How do you choose your friends and how do you behave around them?

If there's a "click", I try them out. If they mesh with my values, I keep them around. I'm a bit less self conscious around them, less wary of potentially offending them. Otherwise it depends on the level of friendship.

21. How do you behave around strangers?

I'm always civil, but I'll either put on my charming face or I'll ignore them, depending on the situation. If a stranger is being rude to me, I will be extremely direct and formal.
(The other day I was waiting for a delayed, empty train, in a huge crowd of people. When the train finally got there, and people started pouring on, a woman behind me started pushing me forward and telling me to "keep going, we're almost there, just go" -- stressed and dictatorial and did I mention she was pushing me? I looked back and said "Calm down. The train is empty." and turned away. Sure enough, there was enough room for everyone on the train...)

 

[EJCC]

[MENTION=4515]wolfy[/MENTION] you seem on the ISTP/ISFP border, but more ISFP. For sure 9.
[MENTION=7420]Chaotic Harmony[/MENTION] so much Fi! ISFP works.
[MENTION=4939]kyuuei[/MENTION] ENFP I guess, though you vibe more 8 than anything in the MBTI.

That's why I avoid other people's babies. And let me tell you, most the women I know do not get this! They constantly ask "want to hold her?" For God's sake no. I didn't ask for a reason.

Reminds me of a Marc Maron comedy set... "I'm not a cat guy. I'm a MY cat guy. I don't give a shit about your cat!"

 

[Doctor Cringelord]

1. What is beauty? What is love?

Beauty = just a touch of ugly in everything pretty. Love = compatibility and comfort.

2. What are your most important values?

Independence, fairness, equality; judge people not by their outward appearance, gender, etc, but by their intelligence, competence, and the content of their minds.

3. Do you have any sort of spiritual/religious beliefs, and why do you hold (or don't) those beliefs in the first place?

I don't believe in God, at least not in the judeo-christian-islamic autocratic version. That would go against me as I have a natural urge to question and rebel against all authority figures. I like the idea of an impersonal god which manifests in all life and matter and perhaps I might get on board a philosophy which embodies that. I have read a lot on most major religions. There are valuable things I have taken away from Taoism and other eastern philosophies and even from Christianity, but I would never let myself be guided by any one doctrine or faith

4. Opinion on war and militaries? What is power to you?

War is (most of the time) an unnecessary endeavour waged by the rich elite who have little concern for the men and women on the front lines. Power is, next to wealth, one of the things which most corrupts men and turns them into selfish despots.

Interests
5. What have you had long conversations about? What are your interests? Why?

Stuff. I like music, history, sci-fi, unsolved mysteries, etc

6. Interested in health/medicine as a conversation topic? Are you focused on your body?

I think about my body and health a lot. I'm not in the best of shape, but I am often conscious of my body and physical state and would like to improve my health/strength/agility

7. What do you think of daily chores?

Chores bore me. I often put them off.

8. Books or films you liked? Recently read/watched or otherwise. Examples welcome.

The Death Wish series; various documentaries.

9. What has made you cry? What has made you smile? Why?

I haven't cried in a long time so I can't remember what I cried over last. Everyday I smile over something my son does or says.

10. Where do you feel: at one with the environment/a sense of belonging?

I can feel at one with the environment in the woods or in the blue ridge mountains. I'm not sure I've ever been in a place where I felt an overwhelming sense of belonging. I get restless easily and want to move on to new places.

Evaluation & Behaviour
11. What have people seen as your weaknesses? What do you dislike about yourself?

Apathetic, sometimes indecisive, sometimes too willing too forget my own needs and desires in lieu of pleasing others.

12. What have people seen as your strengths? What do you like about yourself?

I am typically a calm port of harbor for people to visit in times of stress and turmoil. I like that I am liked by people for that reason but that I can also be a cold, intimidating badass to people who wrong myself or my friends and family.

13. In what areas of your life would you like help?

I would like to have more social energy; I want to be more extraverted and comfortable in dealing with people.

14. Ever feel stuck in a rut? If yes, describe the causes and your reaction to it.

Constantly. I have always been in a rut. As soon as I improve myself or get out of a rut, I find myself in a new rut.

People & Interactions
15. What qualities do you most like and dislike in other people? What types do you get along with?

I hate people who try to manipulate me or take advantage of my kindness. I hate people who thrive on petty, day-to-day drama as though it were world-changing. I like honest, down-to-earth, laidback, straight-forward people who don't beat around the bush and have no ulterior motives when they hang out with me.

16. How do you feel about romance/sex? What qualities do you want in a partner?

I am a closet romantic--it's tedious but I will go all out for a woman I am really into (i.e. my wife). I love sex and experimenting in bed. The qualities I seek--see answer to question 15.

17. If you were to raise a child, what would be your main concerns, what measures would you take, and why?

Making sure he is kind and compassionate, yet not at the cost of sacrificing his independence and ability to always question everything.

18. A friend makes a claim that clashes with your current beliefs. What is your inward and outward reaction?

I will usually accept that is their personal opinion and respect that. If I feel the need to disagree aloud, I will usually say something like, "I disagree but I completely respect your opinion and understand why you think that way"

19. Describe your relationship to society. How do you see people as a whole? What do you consider a prevalent social problem? Name one.

I see myself as a withdrawn, disconnected observer forced to interact with society. I see people as generally being irrational, emotional idiots who are governed more by their personal opinions and sentiments and who often refuse to look at facts or the lessons of common sense and history. A prevalent social problem is gender inequality in the workplace.

20. How do you choose your friends and how do you behave around them?

Again, see answer to question 15. Around people I like, I can fully be myself and let loose. Only around those people can I feel like a true extravert and I will regret having to leave and go home.

21. How do you behave around strangers?

Calm, reserved, confident, only speaking if I feel I have valuable information to contribute. Sometimes I will goof around a bit and act witty with a bit of a smartass attitude. I am constantly analyzing and sizing up people I meet, even if I may not appear to be aware. People usually think I am daydreaming or not focused on the present, but I am almost always taking in my surrounding places and people and evaluating them.[/QUOTE]

 

[Showbread]

Since everyone else is doing it...

1. What is beauty? What is love?

I think I see the most beauty in vulnerability and trust between people. Love is selflessness.

2. What are your most important values?

Live with integrity, treat others with gentleness, and remember that my life is about something bigger than meeting my own needs.

3. Do you have any sort of spiritual/religious beliefs, and why do you hold (or don't) those beliefs in the first place?

I am a Christian. I suppose the original reason why is because I was raised that way. However over the last few years I've done lots of searching and questioning, straying pretty far at times. But something (Jesus) always brings me back. A world without a God just doesn't make sense to me for a very long list of reasons.

4. Opinion on war and militaries? What is power to you?

Blargh. Does anyone actually like wars or militaries? I suppose they are necessary to keep things in order. Power is the ability to influence people to see things your way.

Interests
5. What have you had long conversations about? What are your interests? Why?

Theology, religion, psychology, Harry Potter, cooking/food. But most all life.

6. Interested in health/medicine as a conversation topic? Are you focused on your body?

Yes. I like to stay healthy. I try to eat as healthfully as possible given my limited budget and serious sweet tooth. I also try to exercise 3+ times a week. Lots of walking, yoga, occasionally jogging.

7. What do you think of daily chores?

Necessary. Sometimes a good way to relieve stress.

8. Books or films you liked? Recently read/watched or otherwise. Examples welcome.

Currently reading Cuckoo's Calling. Recently read/watched The Fault in Our Stars. I've also been watching a LOT of Doctor Who.

9. What has made you cry? What has made you smile? Why?

Most recently, being broken up with. I also cry over sad books, and when I am angry/frustrated. I smiled today because I went hiking. And because I bought three fish.

10. Where do you feel: at one with the environment/a sense of belonging?

Wherever my friends/family are.

Evaluation & Behaviour
11. What have people seen as your weaknesses? What do you dislike about yourself?

I'm bossy, can be overbearing. I don't do well with change. And I tend to let me emotions get the best of me.

12. What have people seen as your strengths? What do you like about yourself?

I'm definitely a natural leader, and very practical. Apparently another one of my strengths is objectivity and a positive outlook.

13. In what areas of your life would you like help?

My neediness. I get lonely very easily. And I'm always striving to grow spiritually.

14. Ever feel stuck in a rut? If yes, describe the causes and your reaction to it.

Yes. I get very frustrated, and emotional. But, sooner or later life always changes again.

People & Interactions
15. What qualities do you most like and dislike in other people? What types do you get along with?

I really dislike being manipulated, probably more than anything. I need to be able to trust my friends. I get along with really genuine people well. I dislike it when I can tell people are putting on a show for me. I'm also a sucker for a really dry sense of humor.

16. How do you feel about romance/sex? What qualities do you want in a partner?

I very much like the idea of sex, I've never had it. Romance is also lovely. Intentionality is something that is huge for me in a partner. Whether it's with actions, words, etc. And vulnerability. I need a man who is comfortable with his emotions.

17. If you were to raise a child, what would be your main concerns, what measures would you take, and why?

Their health, obviously. But also managing to find a balance of kindness/compassion and justice/fairness. I want to raise kids who will be well adjusted adults. But, I think most importantly I want to raise kids who will grow up to follow God.

18. A friend makes a claim that clashes with your current beliefs. What is your inward and outward reaction?

It really depends on a lot of things. I have quite a few friends who I know have beliefs that clash with mine. They know this too. We often have great conversations about our disagreements.

19. Describe your relationship to society. How do you see people as a whole? What do you consider a prevalent social problem? Name one.

I suppose I am part of society, hopefully a contributing member of it. I think people as a whole are searching. We are all searching for truth and fulfillment. Human trafficking is one that immediately comes to mind.

20. How do you choose your friends and how do you behave around them?

I'm not sure I really "choose" my friendships, they just kind of happen. I definitely gravitate towards a certain type of person. Almost ALL my close friends are Fe/Fi dominant. The ones that aren't are Fe/Fi secondary. I am completely myself around my friends. I can be silly, blunt, or very serious.

21. How do you behave around strangers?

Um, probably about the same. I'm generally very social and friendly. I try to tone down the silliness and be a little less blunt.

 

[wolfy]

14. Ever feel stuck in a rut? If yes, describe the causes and your reaction to it.

Constantly. I have always been in a rut. As soon as I improve myself or get out of a rut, I find myself in a new rut.

This a good answer. And a healthy attitude I reckon.

 

[wolfy]

7. What do you think of daily chores?

Necessary. Sometimes a good way to relieve stress

Chores can be relaxing. The repetitive nature can be relaxing.

 

[EJCC]

Chores can be relaxing. The repetitive nature can be relaxing.

 

[Doctor Cringelord]

Chores can be relaxing. The repetitive nature can be relaxing.

Mowing the lawn can be relaxing.

 

[wolfy]

Mowing the lawn can be relaxing.

Yeah, I like mowing lawns. Haven't done it in a long time though.

 

[Doctor Cringelord]

I also don't mind fixer-upper types of chores

 

[wolfy]

I also don't mind fixer-upper types of chores

I quite like assembly type of stuff. Small dose of accomplishment. I assembled two fans at work, not my regular job, I am a gym personal trainer, lesson instructor. I gave myself ten minutes, set the timer. Had thirty seconds to spare.

 

[wolfy]

[MENTION=4515]wolfy[/MENTION] you seem on the ISTP/ISFP border, but more ISFP. For sure 9.

[MENTION=7420]Chaotic Harmony[/MENTION] so much Fi! ISFP works.

[MENTION=4939]kyuuei[/MENTION] ENFP I guess, though you vibe more 8 than anything in the MBTI.


Reminds me of a Marc Maron comedy set... "I'm not a cat guy. I'm a MY cat guy. I don't give a shit about your cat!"

Your typings are good. Anyone else want to join in... seeing this is my thread and all that. lol

 

[Chaotic Harmony]

I can't type people to save my life. Unless it's blatantly obvious, I'll inevitably guess wrong. My husband is the only person I can type...because he's an INTJ through and through. Aside from that, nope I suck.

 

[wolfy]

I can't type people to save my life. Unless it's blatantly obvious, I'll inevitably guess wrong. My husband is the only person I can type...because he's an INTJ through and through. Aside from that, nope I suck.

I know how you feel, I can't even type my wife. I think a part of me doesn't want to type people though. Or doesn't see it as useful. I love knowing how others view me. That is the interesting part of type. And as a tool for some self understanding.

 

[Chaotic Harmony]

I know how you feel, I can't even type my wife. I think a part of me doesn't want to type people though. Or doesn't see it as useful. I love knowing how others view me. That is the interesting part of type. And as a tool for some self understanding.

Totally agree. I'd much rather know how people would type me than trying to type them.

 

[Laurie]

I logged in to check a date on something and saw a thread tag. WTF thread tag. Oh it's wolfy that makes sense!