I find it helps me if there is some structure to responses, so will based my submission on the Enneagram Quiz created for TypeC.
Apologies in advance for not answering all questions. I just felt some of them were much too personal to post on a public forum.
My tritype specifically...0. What's making you unsure of your type? What research have you already done to determine type?
It constantly changes depending on my mood. I have read up on the various different Enneagram types and done quite a few tests online (and wouldn't rate most of them).
Restless and bored, agitated to either get out or do something. At home I either have my laptop, some music (provided I can play it loud enough) or some work to distract me, usually, but if I didn't, I'd get really irritable and start lashing out at people.1. Establish a "baseline mood"--when you're at home with nothing to do, where are you at mentally and emotionally? What do you notice in yourself? (Note, this is not a mood you inhabit "frequently", but your psychological baseline).
I am not sure whether it is impossible, but i'd like to be better at relating to other people emotionally, and to be more patient.4. You're not good at everything--
a. What personality traits and/or ways of being are impossible for you to adopt?
b. What are qualities you'd like to have, but can't seem to develop?
Arguments over and over again, usually. From my end, my anger over the other party not instigating enough activity in the relationship, refusing basic duties and basically obstructing harmony in the relationship. The other party has generally found my beliefs and views a bit too much, and/or me emotionally challenging.5. Why have you left friends and other relationships in the past and/or why have they left you?
I identify the most with types 6, 8 and 4, and 3 and 5 to an extent. I see nothing in the others.6. Which types do you identify with most?
a. How do you relate to these types?
b. How do you NOT relate to them?
Why? Look, I am really bad at explaining my own personality in depth...but basically I looked at the profiles of those types and would that say I feel they connect with me the most. The question is more one of order than of identifying types themselves for me, though maybe you guys will disagree. I would caution taking my forum posting as representative of my true personality either however, inevitably I let of steam here a lot - I'm generally a lot more relaxed and in control navigating (i have a very good sense of direction), investigating an ancient site or drinking beer in the pool than debating, which tends to get me frustrated if nobody changes (as without outcome, things are kind of pointless...)
Ambivalent. I like the idea of being in love, and the times I've had a girlfriend however brief they were (I seem incapable of a relationship beyond a couple of months lol) have been oases of happiness for me. But inevitably once the passion ends I don't seem to hold any attraction to girls anymore...we start arguing a lot...and I find that really stressful, especially my most recent relationship. I have been arguing with my parents a lot recently and having her being a bitch to me as well just switched a fuse and made me really angry.8. They claim enneagram type is a hidden love need. What are your attitudes toward finding love?
Ideally, I just want someone to smile, come up and talk to me and for everything to flow, and over time gently draw out the parts of me nobody has got to see yet and I want to share with someone. My needs might not be "average", but not much about me is...that's part of the problem I think. I just doubt what happens will ever last
I am pretty indifferent to how most people view me actually, what frustrates me is that I don't feel I will be able to achieve my potential and purpose. My main drive is to be able to live my own life, independent of any support and the way I want to. I want to be in control. I don't really feel the need to go after anyone else unless what they are doing may harm me in some way; my anger really comes out in those cases.10. Determine your ego ideal--the way you strive to be and want others to perceive you. (Note, you may be consciously aware of failing at this, and you will be hard on yourself if you do. If someone else tells you you're NOT this way, it may make you feel hurt, violated, or angry.)
Being "okay", having it together - very closely followed by being strong and unassailable. I also want to be original, creative, and express my musical abilities outside my head. However I kind of take much of this for granted as it isn't something I have to work on to the same extent.Which of the following ideals resonate with you the most, and why? Rank them.
None of the other ideals interest me much.
I am vulnerable to feeling imperfect and often worry that I'm not and won't be good enough, that I won't be able to attract anyone, and will be left by girlfriends I want to be with because of who I am, personal stuff about me. I also am on the lookout for physical threats a lot, my Se is quite well devaloped - probably this because it has been bred into me by my background. I don't have fond memories of high school, affluence doesn't protect you from bullying.11. Determine your "felt sense" of life. To do this it may help to look at how you perceive events. Another way to do this is to look back at your childhood and think of all the things your parents did to you. How did you/do you feel about these events?
Here are some common "felt senses" of life:
Just not feeling that I'm in control of my life and that I have no/can't achieve a purpose. I want to be independent of the system - because I realise it won't last for much longer, I am frustrated to find that I can't survive in a more Darwinian, organic society. I am weak, damaged shit compared to my ancestors, which I hate even more, and while I even know two potential ways to fix this problem, they are both highly dangerous and could lead to my death. I haven't reproduced yet and want to tick that box first.12. Core fears. You may have been aware of these fears even as a very small child, before anyone did anything to influence it. You'd be mortified to be in this position or have others perceive you this way.
Discuss which fears have played the greatest role in your life: