I would say J for judger, but not much else comes through. You have a "thrill-seeking side," but there's no indication of how much you identify with it. "Contingency planning I enjoy as a mental exercise but the motive behind it is what bugs me.” What bugs you about it? Mental exercises rather describe the introverted types. Are you morally bugged by contingency planning? If you were an ESTP then it wouldn't bug you. Also, ESTPs are not complex, the INFJ type is considered complex, INFJs see themselves as complex, and your self-description indicates complexity not found in most Extroverted types.
"I fear that I may damage their lives as others did to me..." E-type 4s feel damaged by others, by society. However, it depends on what you identify as your "life." Oftentimes, intellectual types see their inner worlds (thoughts, feelings, self-derived values) as their "life," their external world being a mere extension of the inner world, and sometimes the external world is seen as troublesome and annoying.
You mentioned trust issues, and that sounds like a 6 trait. However, it could also be the self-preserving 4, particularly with regard to some of your self-descriptive statements.
Taking everything into account, you seem like an INFJ, but there is too much MBTI lacking in your description.
And the above analysis could be completely wrong. Perhaps you're a 6, perhaps INFP. It's hard to say.