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  1. #1
    Da Voodoo Boogie man's Avatar
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    Default Aye(!) need some help finding my Ennea Type

    G'day everyone,

    I hate to tell you this, but I find myself unable to type my Enneagram type accurately. And I could use an outsiders' perspective.

    The Enneagram isn't something new to me; in fact, I own a copy of Personality Types from R&H by which I would type myself as a 4. While I relate quite a deal to this type, I just cant find my peace of mind typing as a 4. It doesn't seem to hit home quite hard enough.

    Anyway, I'mma going to start answering this neat lil' questionnaire I found (credit to Sanjuro).
    (answers in the quotes)

    Describe yourself--
    What's it like to be you?
    Great I suppose, and awful at the same time?
    I struggle a great deal with 'finding myself', and I have been since as far back as I can remember. Always looking for some idea and archetype that could represent me, in order to finally understand myself. No wonder I eventually found the enneagram.
    Apart from that I'm quite sociable, friendly, funny, doubtful and volatile. With a big "I don't give a f**k" -air about me; I don't do shame.
    What have others said about you?
    People tend to complement me on my looks (yeah baby!), me being sociable (with anyone -and that for my age!-), my warm and gregarious energy and my take-charge ability in dire times.
    On the other side of the coin, people have told me that I can be very hesitating, nonchalant, unpredictable and that they have a hard time reading me.
    What do you think of yourself?
    Pretty much the sum of the answers above. Though I hate how self-conscious I can get. I'm always aware of the public's eye, as if I'm constantly needing to be more, better, ...
    What are the issues you've dealt with in life? List some recurrent themes, and tell us a little about each one.
    Hmm, let's see..
    One of the biggest issues I've struggled with might actually seem like the stupidest one; I still can't let go of the feelings I had (have?) for a girl I went to school with for over 6 years. Mainly because she made it clear to me that the feelings weren't one sided, but I just couldn't accept her affection towards me. I felt that whatever she might've been feeling at the time, was only towards her interpretation of my projection of my image. And thus, not real enough. So freakin' lame.
    Throughout highschool (in my country from age 12 - 18) I struggled quite a bit with social anxiety, even though I love letting go and doing whatever I feel like doing. It felt so stifling, I didn't want to be stuck with it for the rest of my life. So I became angry, at society for making me self-conscious (hey, I never claimed to be very rational at highschool age), and at myself for allowing this to happen. And so I forced myself to reach out to people and be more assertive, which payed off nicely. I'm back to being the self-conscious but social anxiety free person I was before highschool.
    The last struggle is/has been work/school. I hate it. Just can't (won't?) do it. And I'm still figuring out a way to maintain comfort with the least amount of social slavery committed. I don't know why I feel this way, but it's something every cell in my body works against.
    You're not good at everything--
    What personality traits and/or ways of being are impossible for you to adopt?
    Frankly, I feel as if most if not all of em are doable for me. There isn't one I couldn't ever adopt.
    Except for maybe, hmm, 'selling out'? Whatever that means. It's very subjective isn't it? For me, 'selling out' means going against the nature of your being. I don't think I would feel fine selling mortgages to folks, though I don't think it's impossible for me. Never say never
    What are qualities you'd like to have, but can't seem to develop?
    Ha! Great question :p Dedication, discipline, the ability to put aside the 'mood of the moment'.
    Why have you left friends and other relationships in the past and/or why have they left you?
    Boredom mainly, if I'm not passionately into you, then we're not going anywhere. No matter how polite I'm being.
    That and friends who are too scared to stand up for/against you are no good friends, so fck em.
    Which types do you identify with most?
    4, 6, 7 mainly.
    How do you relate to these types?
    4; the longing, the idealization of ideals (lol?), the feeling like I'm unworthy of love (yay...), the self-consciousness, the need to discover myself
    6; the doubt, the sociability, the volatility (same for 4 really), the hesitation
    7; the sense for adventure, love fun (but who doesn't?), the need for distractions, the shamelessness, the high self-esteem (though it tends to plummet deep from time to time)
    And probably some more I forgot...
    How do you NOT relate to them?
    4; I'm not all that aware of my emotionality, nor am I burdened by shame or self-loathing, I look too upbeat and approachable (for how much that accounts to typing anyone)
    6; no worst-case scenario thinking, no panicking, no ask-a-friend, no trust issues
    7; not assertive enough, too hesitating, too reflective
    Which types are least like you?
    1, 5
    Why specifically do you not relate to these types?
    They're too cold and calculated. Do not relate one bit to that.
    And type 1 is way too self-controlled. I like to let go, especially on the anger part -> I need to let it all out.
    What points (if any) DO you relate to?
    1; the sense for idealism, the self-righteousness (though I hate it in others -the irony)
    5; I like being knowledgeable and capable
    They claim enneagram type is a hidden love need. What are your attitudes toward finding love?
    I either fall in love instantly, or I don't. Love on first sight. But then...
    I tend to hesitate and doubt, I try to get their attention by being.. more me to them than to others, by being more intense. Not easy though, the self-consciousness kicks in real hard here.
    And I don't get over past loves. Ever. For better and worse.
    What is the message your superego tells you?
    << You have all these dreams, these ideal - you -'s, and yet here you sit, doing nothing at all about them. You're not capable enough, you never will be and you know it. You're not.. enough.>>
    Determine your ego ideal--the way you strive to be and want others to perceive you. (Note, you may be consciously aware of failing at this, and you will be hard on yourself if you do. If someone else tells you you're NOT this way, it may make you feel hurt, violated, or angry.)

    Which of the following ideals resonate with you the most, and why? Rank them.
    1- to be loving and benevolent
    2- to be powerful, strong, unassailable.
    3- to be accomplished and successful
    4- to be sensitive, original, unique, and creative
    5- to be knowledgeable
    6- to be a lovable person
    7- to be "okay", having it together
    8- to be devoted and loyal to a person or cause
    9- to strive to become/behave like a good person

    Why to be loving and benevolent? Because it comes from a strong place; from a warm, open and generous heart that isn't afraid of getting rejected. A powerful philanthropist.
    It's what I'm striving to be.
    Determine your "felt sense" of life. To do this it may help to look at how you perceive events. Another way to do this is to look back at your childhood and think of all the things your parents did to you. How did you/do you feel about these events?
    - I feel imperfect, not (good) enough
    - I've been sensitive to rejection
    Core fears. You may have been aware of these fears even as a very small child, before anyone did anything to influence it. You'd be mortified to be in this position or have others perceive you this way.
    - Rejection, being needy, and not being loved
    - Failure

    Ha! It's sounds like I'm afraid of not being liked. That's not quite the case. I only care about rejection etc. with those I'm interested in - in more than just 'casual'. Anyone else can dislike me, or even hate me, I won't care. Though they usually don't
    There.
    Done.
    Phew, that took a while.

  2. #2
    Away with the fairies Southern Kross's Avatar
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    Sounds like 7w6 to me. Maybe So/Sx.

    You're not a Kiwi, are you?
    INFP 4w5 so/sp

    I've dreamt in my life dreams that have stayed with me ever after, and changed my ideas;
    they've gone through and through me, like wine through water, and altered the colour of my mind.

    - Emily Bronte

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by Southern Kross View Post
    Sounds like 7w6 to me. Maybe So/Sx.

    You're not a Kiwi, are you?
    "G'day" is about as stereotypically Australian an expression as there is...

  4. #4
    Away with the fairies Southern Kross's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kullervo View Post
    "G'day" is about as stereotypically Australian an expression as there is...
    And NZ.

    "Aye" is more Kiwi, anyway.
    INFP 4w5 so/sp

    I've dreamt in my life dreams that have stayed with me ever after, and changed my ideas;
    they've gone through and through me, like wine through water, and altered the colour of my mind.

    - Emily Bronte

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by Southern Kross View Post
    And NZ.

    "Aye" is more Kiwi, anyway.
    I have never had anyone say "G'day" to me except when i've visited Australia or talked to Australian expats. As for "Aye", even in the South where Scottish influence is high, I have only heard it very occasionally, generally from guys from farming backgrounds who speak in quite a different way to me.

    Anyway I am diverting the thread, sorry OP.

  6. #6
    Da Voodoo Boogie man's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Southern Kross View Post
    Sounds like 7w6 to me. Maybe So/Sx.

    You're not a Kiwi, are you?
    Haha, no I'm not Kiwi or Australian.
    I'm Belgian and English isn't my native tongue so I just use whatever sounds good to me in the moment. I love variety.

    About the 7w6 suggestion, could you explain why? I've considered it before but I seem to be too hesitating & self-conscious to be one.

  7. #7
    Assassin from the future Qloshae's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boogie man View Post
    The Enneagram isn't something new to me; in fact, I own a copy of Personality Types from R&H by which I would type myself as a 4. While I relate quite a deal to this type, I just cant find my peace of mind typing as a 4. It doesn't seem to hit home quite hard enough.
    This is kinda funny, look at this one (one of the first things he said was regarding always feeling different):
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z1zu9yh0C9U

    However, I recommend what Mario said (who is a type 8 and an Enneagram teacher), the wings add an unnecessary complexity - at least start by just finding the core type. I myself don't even believe in the wings anymore (tho I recognize that a 5 could move more towards 4 or 6).

    The main thing about the Enneagram is that you don't have to fit any type perfectly, it is about which one you generally use, the Enneagram is a map.
    I am sure you know that already so I'll leave it at that.

    What I myself did was to look at each type, research them and write down or at least think of why I can't be that type.
    Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.
    Social Style
    EnneagramWork - Defense Systems
    MBTI: IXXX (I don't even believe in it atm.)
    Enneagram: 5 | Sx/So
    Big 5: RLOAI (last time I did it)
    Alignment: True Neutral
    MOTIV type: SOTID
    MOTIV+ type: |S|oxiD

  8. #8
    Emperor/Dictator kyuuei's Avatar
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    I suck at typing people--but you're definitely not an 8 if that helps at all.
    Kantgirl: Just say "I'm feminine and I'll punch anyone who says otherwise!"
    Halla74: Think your way through the world. Feel your way through life.

    Cimarron: maybe Prpl will be your girl-bud
    prplchknz: i don't like it

    In Search Of... ... Kiwi Sketch Art ... Dream Journal ... Kyuuei's Cook book ... Kyu's Tiny House Blog ... Minimalist Challenge ... Kyu's Savings Challenge

  9. #9
    Da Voodoo Boogie man's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Qloshae View Post
    This is kinda funny, look at this one (one of the first things he said was regarding always feeling different):
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z1zu9yh0C9U

    However, I recommend what Mario said (who is a type 8 and an Enneagram teacher), the wings add an unnecessary complexity - at least start by just finding the core type. I myself don't even believe in the wings anymore (tho I recognize that a 5 could move more towards 4 or 6).

    The main thing about the Enneagram is that you don't have to fit any type perfectly, it is about which one you generally use, the Enneagram is a map.
    I am sure you know that already so I'll leave it at that.

    What I myself did was to look at each type, research them and write down or at least think of why I can't be that type.


    Social Style
    EnneagramWork - Defense Systems
    Yeah, the wings are secondary to the core type. I definitely agree with that. Though, from what I've observed, there is some merit to them. They give the dominant type an extra flavor, a different style in dealing with problems. But then, there isn't much to support the theory that type 5 has to have either 4 or 6 as a wing, and no other. So yeah, I'm not going to base my typing on a wing. Core type comes first.

    Whenever I try narrowing down my type, I find myself either with too many remaining, or with none remaining at all. My criteria are either too vague or too narrow :p Though it seems the remaining ones tend to be 4 and 7. The sad and the happy style. Sometimes another type comes along, depending on which criteria I'm focusing on the most.
    If bi-type existed, instead of tritype, 4-7 I'd be :p But then I still wouldn't know the underlying dominant strategy

    Quote Originally Posted by kyuuei View Post
    I suck at typing people--but you're definitely not an 8 if that helps at all.
    Well, you don't suck at knowing whether I would be an 8 or not, cause you're right on the money!

  10. #10
    Assassin from the future Qloshae's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boogie man View Post
    Well, you don't suck at knowing whether I would be an 8 or not, cause you're right on the money!
    Why don't we start here to check your view and understanding of the Enneagram - why are you not an 8?
    MBTI: IXXX (I don't even believe in it atm.)
    Enneagram: 5 | Sx/So
    Big 5: RLOAI (last time I did it)
    Alignment: True Neutral
    MOTIV type: SOTID
    MOTIV+ type: |S|oxiD

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