as per title!

experts and non-experts, please try to analyse this by MBTI&socionics and enneagram.

thank you very much!

1. Is there anything that may affect the way you answer the questions? For example, a stressful time, mental illness, medications, special life circumstances? Other useful information includes sex, age, and current state of mind.

I am female.

19 years old.

finishing high school.

no special life circumstances but this, I've had some stress in the last few years that's got an unconscious mechanism of working. main way it's noticeable that it's been draining my energy a lot. sorry I can't really explain it in a sensible way other than that. I will touch on that in the questionnaire below. but anyway, due to this, I've had the principal of the school agree to let me stay home for the last few months. a big relief.

2. Study these two images here and here. Which one do you prefer and why? How would you describe it?

prefer first one. very nice colours and wide horizon, you can see far and almost have this sense of "wonder". that feeling is not something definite, just an impression really.

not interested in the second one, that's just someone eating breakfast, honestly I don't care about food that much.

3. Please describe yourself as a person if you were to introduce yourself to someone else like in a cover letter. What kind of person are you and why?

ok first, surely not applying for a job here.

ok that concern aside, I have this weird brain, really. it's unable to build up some templates that other people all have, yet a great data/number crunching machine. it prefers to speak in really simple terms most of the time but it can see a text and see the underlying abstract meaning and the logic intertwined. it has no idea about standard touchy-feely psychology yet it has insights about its own unconscious motives including emotion-based motives. it doesn't know what other people feel inside but it can sense its own feeling impressions, of course without words. it doesn't know what emotions the face belonging to it displays but is too much tuned into what other people's faces display. it doesn't connect the previous second to the next second right here and now, so it flies through life blindly, yet it gets some great insights that sometimes can't even be put into words but they can definitely be used. it has no idea about the most simple tasks but masters everything after a few tries in an unconscious fashion, no matter if physical or mental. it doesn't have anything going on in the conscious foreground but it still perceives everything in one holistic snapshot: essentially the focus is not on a distinct existing point but yet it's very intense. it can and will get the thing it wants by aggressively powering through everything in the way and solving every problem to get there, and yet it can be hopelessly unmotivated and never starting on anything.

4. What kind of person would you LIKE to be? Why? What kind of person would you NOT want to be? Why?

I'd like to find a more extraverted focus and behave more extraverted in a natural way. I'd like to be more experienced and more involved with the physical side of life. well I am involved to some degree already but I have bigger dreams..

basically I would like to reconnect to my surroundings, because I feel disconnected both from physical surroundings and from people, I am certainly not depressed though because I have an interest in life. I'm going to rant a bit here but it's admittedly strange, I recently had a short period where I got completely disconnected from my own emotionality and nothing was left and I just couldn't take that. then I lucked out and managed to reconnect to the kind of strong emotionality that I like and I determined to never disconnect like that again. more ranting away from the original question, sorry, but, don't misunderstand me here, I'm not the emotional type by default, just that complete disconnect was something I couldn't tolerate.

I would not want to be: a weak and unmotivated person.

5. Do you think there are any differences to how you described yourself and how people actually perceive you? How do you think others would describe you? If there are any discrepancies between these two that are you are aware of; do you know why exactly that is?

others have said I'm smart, standoffish, haughty, arrogant, forceful, helpful, energetic, rude, disrespectful, overanalysing, resourceful, feeling entitled, got too much of a temper........

most of that's true, first thing everyone always say is that I'm smart, though.

what's not true is: haughty/arrogant, it's really not that, I just don't mix so easily with everyone - partly due to my own decisions and partly because I just failed to connect - and that behaviour taken together with me being much smarter than the others in school is what comes off as arrogant, I guess.

6. What in life do you find to be of importance? Why? If you are unsure you can always take the Value Test and post the results here. Do note that it helps if you narrow it down to 20 or ideally 10 values as suggested at stage 2.

I've just recently become "awake"** and so I've been exploring these things recently but not before. this is not to say I have really definite values. it's more like impressions again. I am finding there is this deeply abstract and perhaps even slightly spiritual way of seeing the world. so I would say a big value of mine is this way of seeing things.

**: please don't associate that to anything related to religion now. I'm not into any religions or cults or any of that crap, I've actually refuted the idea of god made up by humans.

to be a bit more concrete, what else I find of importance is finding an occupation that I can really be involved in passionately. for example, I'm dreaming of doing research in psychology and contribute to seeing things in a better way, a kind of a paradigm shift. I also want to write a great book that's both about philosophy and emotions, but it has to be special art, not necessarily a bestseller, though bestseller is fine because money's not something that I'm gonna say "no" to . and of course it's important to have friends and to find someone who can be my SO and who will go with me everywhere, though not for security but for adventure.

I guess you could also glean from the above that it's very much me to say that security and tradition is boring but adventure and being special and improvement to go forward is all interesting.

7. How do you react to new situations in your life? Can you describe an event in your life where you were in an unknown situation? How did you deal with it?

I cannot say a lot here, I think. depends if the change is good or bad but I generally want to see what happens next. I really don't have much prejudice. you know, those templates. I don't have them.

rhetorical question, what do you mean "unknown situation"? I don't really make a difference between "known situation" and "unknown situation", I realize how strange that sounds though. again, this is to do with the no prejudice thingie.

8. Please describe yourself when you are in a stressful situation. How do you act and why? Real life experiences are welcome.

there's several kinds of stress. but one thing common in them, I'm largely pretty good at not feeling "stressed". I instead focus on getting a solution. sometimes it means I can act towards an actual solution and that's great sure. if I can't get what I want, I'll have a really bad temper, rage, stuff.

then sometimes it just means leaving the stressful situation, like I did it with high school. it's all out of gut instinct really. I did stand my ground for pretty long and I would not have left but one day I just didn't have any more energy to go on, so that was it, no thinking, I just decided to stay home, we went and fixed the thing with the principal and then I just stayed home. great.

9. Please describe yourself when you are in an enjoyable situation. How do you act and why? Real life experiences are welcome.

again so many kinds of enjoyable stuff.

I guess I just act myself, no inhibition. I do whatever I feel like doing.

recently I enjoyed discussing philosophical questions with an online friend in a couple of really long emails. it was great immersing myself in deeply going in this abstract area and then answering his stuff. I stopped responding once I didn't feel like responding right away. too much typing I guess. though it would be nice to get myself together to actually respond. but I am going by my whims see?

another time I enjoyed talking to another online friend about whatever bullshit, in a chatroom. I didn't agree on some stuff with him and argued pretty heatedly. and anyway we just talked a lot overall. then he said I would be too much for him IRL because I'm so full of energy "running" around. again I just wasn't inhibiting myself.

IRL it's more complicated really. but if no inhibition *and* I somehow get mobilized - not always that easy - then sure yeah I'm like that.

10. Describe your relationship to socialization. How do you perceive one-on-one interaction? How do you perceive group interaction?

eh, I tried to socialize in high school but failed at making friends. well a couple of girls approached me but it was never the girls I really wanted to be friends with. except for one case but that one didn't turn out well either because a stupid girl wanted to get in the way all the time. then there was this really clingy girl in the last year of high school, I guess it was first enjoyable to go do things, talk about stuff, but then the clinginess or something made me positively sick. I still can't explain it. again just a gut reaction. so overall you could say I'm not big on socialization, yeah.

one-on-one interaction is fun, when younger, I often had at least one kid around and we just did fun stuff and whatnot. friends did change over time, but it was almost always one-on-one interaction. well sometimes it was a threesome hehe and that was sometimes even more fun. as for groups, I first just physically see a group as a bunch of people with emotions, talking and going around, so a lot of stuff going on that looks fun, but it's hard for me to really feel a part of anything. what I instead do is just interact randomly, depending on what grabs my attention, so probably it's easily out of place. I wouldn't mind because I don't have any standards about how someone should behave but if the group minds then that's not something I can solve. I mean, I will of course notice how the group reponds to stuff, what they accept, what they don't accept, I'm really overly tuned into the latter especially, but if they don't accept what I do, I just can't make myself follow them.

11. Describe your relationship to society. What are the elements of it you hold important or unimportant (e.g. social norms, values, customs, traditions)? How do you see people as a whole?

I'm not interested in social norms and traditions.

haven't got too much of an opinion on people as a whole beyond what I've already said above.

12. Describe your relationship to authority. How do you perceive authority? What does it mean to you, and how do you deal with it?

authority is something I notice but I'm not affected by it beyond that.

13. Describe your relationship to order and chaos. What do order and chaos mean to you? How do they manifest in your daily life?

I have both.. some things are better in order and some I don't care much about

14. What is it that you fear in life? Why? How does this fear manifest to you both in how you think and how you act?

I don't care about fears really. I prefer to repress.

15. What is it that you desire in life? What do you strive to achieve? Why? Where do you think these drives and desires stem from or are inspired by?

see values section above

16. a) What activities energize you most? b) What activities drain you most? Why?

a) whatever I feel like doing.

example: chatting online is something that keeps me awake easily even when very tired, as it requires relatively little physical energy yet it's an activity that keeps the brain ready to respond to anything. so in that sense it energizes me.

analysing and perceiving something deeply is also great.

also great going out and just wandering in new places. yay.

like reading books too. vicariously living action packed stories I guess

b) sitting in a corner in at an event that has a lot of people around doing stuff. I don't know the "why" with reasonable certainty yet. I prefer to either not go at all, or go only if I can be constantly involved. as soon as I'm not involved, I'd better just get away. usually the latter is what happens. I think the staying at home from high school is strongly related to this.

it can also be draining if I'm with someone who's overly animated, I just feel suddenly too passive, extremely disconnected from feelings and from people and everything.

17. Why do you want to know your type? What type do you think you are? Why this/these type(s)? Is there a type that appeals to you, to your self-perception, that you would like to be? Why? If you know your enneagram, please post this here. If you have done any online function tests such as the Keys2Cognition, it helps if you post these results here as well.

why do I want to know type? again, it's to do with motives of largely unconscious origins. I've fleshed out a few but I don't want to share that right now. the one I will share is that I like psychology and interested in learning more about people and that requires me knowing my own type if there's such a thing.

what type appeals to me? well for some reason I'd prefer to think I'm an extravert though it's quite possible that's not the case. extraversion just seems healthier, or at least a balance of extraversion and introversion. I feel more "fresh" if I try to think of myself as an extravert. if I try to think of myself as an introvert, I feel more "dull". these subjective feelings obviously mean nothing though.

18. Finally, is there something else you find to be of importance you want to add about yourself you think might be of relevance when helping to type you?

quite possibly my brain is wired differently from normal. not that I've ever been diagnosed with anything; no one ever even thought it to be necessary to try and get me diagnosed. outwardly it's not enough crazy different I suppose.