Hmm, I don't think I am at constant state of war with the world, more like I have my days.
Well, I suppose I'll begin with 6. I relate to 6's anxiety in that I despise uncertainty, I want a definite answer, when I don't get one straight away I lose it. For example, I'm a college freshman and as such, at my college I get the to pick from the bottom of the barrel, which of course means, having to go on the wait-list for a lot of classes. This stresses me out to no end, I don't like the uncertainty of not really knowing if I'll get in or having to think about it instead of just getting in and not having to fret over it any longer. I hate when things go undecided, making decisions does not cause me anxiety, leaving things open does.I'd like to hear--in your own words--what you can/can't identify with about each type you're considering. Be as in depth as you'd like; tell stories as necessary.
I think in this form, I do seek security and most definitely seek certainty.
However, as I've mentioned, I don't relate to 6's existential anxiety, I don't usually assume the worst and I most certainly never prepare for it or anything for that matter. My parents both seem to be 6's, one is counter-phobic, the other phobic, they are both very naturally cautious and suspicious people. They both do the existential anxiety thing where they assume the worst and attempt to prepare for it. They say things like, "but what if you fall and die" or "we don't know him, we don't know the sort of person he is, we don't know what he'll do", they often verbalize something I see as horrible and unlikely scenarios. I never do this and it confounds me as to how they could see things in such a manner, I see it more as "that will never happen", I am a pretty suspicious person, more than I am a trusting person anyway, but I usually rely on the feelings or impressions people give me before deciding to see them as a threat, I don't do so preemptively in the way they seem to. I also do not think I disintegrate towards 3, integrate towards 9; maybe. I think I do relate to 6's fear of being without support as I do worry a lot about what I will do when my parents are no longer around or able to financially support me through the rest of college. I do not want to become responsible.
As for 4, I relate to what seems to be 4's tendency to turn what makes them different into what makes them special. As a kid, and sometimes still now, there have been so many things that have made me feel odd and freak-like. For one there is my over sensitivity to everything, I've always been a hyper-sensitive person, which has always made me feel very odd compared to others, everyone seems to have built up a callous against the world but me. Then there's my suspected social anxiety, it's mild but it does make me a little miserable, even though I know how to suppress it now. There's also the fact that I've always been a very quick learner which has more often than not resulted in my being at the top of my classes, which I found embarrassing and thus engaged in heavy self-sabotage throughout high school. In my early teens, I found all of these things to be curses, I tried my hardest to suppress and get rid of them all; I tried to hide hurt behind smiles, I tried to get rid of the "smart" image I seemed to carry by earning abysmal grades as well as ditching school everyday, and at that age I could not get past my SA, so I decided to act as if I were perfectly comfortable being alone and it didn't feel like everyone was staring at me. As I grew older, I began to understand that these things which made me weird also made me different from the rest, I began to like these things about myself, I began to accept them and now I enjoy emphasizing them. I also relate to 4's fear of having no identity, I want to have a fixed identity, something that's purely me, something that is recognizable, like a brand of sorts.
I do not relate to 4's desire to be unique so much as I relate to the desire to be authentic and fixed within my identity. That is to say, I don't want to be unique at the cost of my true self. I wish to find my essence for certain, to pin it down.
I ruled out 8 mainly because out of my 3 fixes, I see it as the one I relate to the least, as well as the fact that 8's seem like they deny or repress their emotions in order to feel in control or strong. I see myself as doing the opposite. I feel one of their key motivations is to deny or resist weakness, while I prefer to indulge in weakness as it is a relief and I believe true strength comes from accepting one's weaknesses not denying their existence. In regards to my own weakness anyway, hypocritically enough, I find it hard to tolerate weakness in others.Last question, why do you rule out type 8? I seriously ruled it out as a core type for most of my life without giving it fair consideration, and at one point even became sure it wasn't my gut-fix at all. In retrospect, that was both unfair and foolish, and it caused me a lot of trouble.