It happens rarely but here it is: I am A N G R Y. Frustrated.
When I first came to this site I was puzzled why several member's who I highly respected did not want to discuss Typology ON A TYPOLOGY SITE?! Several would not even discuss or display their MBTI identification. It was Typing that brought me here so I was confused when they said "they had grown tired of debating typology but stayed because they truly felt affection for some member's".
I get it now.
I don't mind having my type questioned. I know a large number of people feel strongly I am certain types and that doesn't bother me. I've greatly appreciated the time and energy people have spent on my typing thread.
I will use @OrangeAppled as an example of someone who I think does questioning right. (Hope you don't mind OA) She offered clear, well-reasoned points at things I might want to look at as alternate points of view. She revealed a wealth of her own research in her posts. She didn't presume to know me but asked questions and truly examined the answers. She didn't belabor the point but allowed me the dignity of processing what she wrote.
On the other hand (I am not going to name any specific user's) there are the people who will not let up. Either sending PM's, writing messages or making "mentions" in other posts. I FULLY GET that a lot of people disagree with my initial typing. I appreciated when @Z Buck McFate acknowledged I might feel a bit 'hounded'. I was trying to keep an objective, cheery outlook but I do honestly feel it has gone into an area that is mostly unproductive.
Why do I stay? So far, because there are MANY people who I genuinely enjoy. Some of them are even the people who won't let the 'type thing' go.
Others who know me better (some IRL) have come forward saying their perception matches my own. But, they have been largely ignored or disbelieved, which entirely makes sense to me if my own perceptions are dismissed My desire to participate is dwindling.
If people don't have any confidence in my ability to know myself, why should I share? Why would I presume to offer perception on anyone else ever, in that case? Why should I push myself to participate fully when it is dismissed that this takes effort and people insist I am an extrovert and 'being social' comes easily to me?
I won't offer my viewpoints anymore in INFP related threads. Despite the recipients finding meaning in my words and being thankful, I continue to receive snarky messages that question why I am posting in those threads. I am not participating in threads offering advice to other members (save for impartial relationship questions...) because I would feel like a fraud. I don't think like those types and don't feel I have anything of value to offer.
So...I am left at a place where my first friend's revealed they were: not engaging in typology on a typology site.
I welcome correction if I am off on this. I truly have given it much thought and feel I have been exceedingly open to suggestion and patient with being questioned. I HATE turning off any potential possibilities for new understanding or thought so I will never be able to shut down discussion on my type. It goes contrary to my nature. I DON'T presume to know everything. I only wish there was a little more confidence in my abilities shown and that I was respectfully allowed to reject what I don't feel fits, without it continuing to be pushed on me.
Regardless of what others feel, I know myself more than anyone else. Despite months of this, and doing exhaustive research I still feel I have a genuine (albeit enhanced) understanding of who I am and where I am. I KNOW that having my type questioned and referred to without letup isn't servicing me in continued enjoyment of interacting here.
I HATE complaining and it pains me to write this. Especially when I think questioning one's own type and receiving helpful feedback is hugely valuable. I also don't want to downplay the encouragement and support that caring individuals have expressed. Saying they have faith that: ultimately I will know myself best, whether they agree or disagree with how I type.
To be perfectly clear:
I support questioning typing and offering advice and viewpoints.
I don't support 1) Persisting in chasing the person on the issue after they have considered the input 2) Making snide asides in messages or mentions that the person is clueless about who they are 3) The assumption that internet forum access allows us to know someone better than they know themselves.
Does any of this matter in the larger scheme of things? No.
Future dust, future rust...right @mystik_INFJ?