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  1. #6351
    Travel to the Deep Array Ghost's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Forever View Post
    So what does that make me? A Fe/Fi combo?
    I don't think there are there are clear delineations for this kind of stuff. I'm talking about what I think is a pattern, but that doesn't mean it's accurate or it's even a pattern in the first place.

    I don't believe you are an Fe/Fi combo, and I don't think anyone is a simple person.

    Hopefully, someone else can come along and help clarify things since I'm probably too vague to be of use here.
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  2. #6352
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    Ask me Questions, and I May Just Answer Them in Video Form

    Forever, were you able to relate to my experience with Fi at all? One, I'm not an Fi Dom so it isn't as accurate as they'd describe it, and two, if I'm not ENFP, then go ahead and forget that video. I'm sorta in type limbo right now lol.
    A mind wanders as does the soul

    "The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams".
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    "I or E: NF or ENTP, you'll always be ARET to me. Ambiverting, Rational thinking, Emoting, and Trailblazing since the 90's"
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    Love you Clouds!
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  3. #6353
    Immanentize the Eschaton Array Starry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chanaynay View Post
    Hmm, but if it's a situation that's giving him anxiety I see how a 7w6 would want to joke around and end things on a light, positive note because then they won't have to face the reality of the situation and the existential problem with him. I was talking more about mediating others, keeping the environment upbeat and happy, etc. So like you said it's when your husband himself feels tense. Whereas if someone is feeling tension from the tension of their surroundings that they feel like they feel compelled to alleviate, I'd chalk that under ESFJ.

    Slowly reading through these posts...


    I learned long ago that if I try to mediate others or try to diffuse tension on behalf of others in a way I think they would appreciate or in a way I feel would be appropriate for the specific set of circumstances/environment...I'm going to make the situation ten times weirder...like without fail.

    I think part of the problem with the 7 descriptions is that we share this point with a butt-load of EXTPs <-And as we know Tert and Inferior Fe is characterized by having a compulsion towards keeping an environment upbeat/conflict free. EXFP 7s don't. For us it is more important for something to be interesting. And so as long as we are not immediately involved...or having our values tripped...or human safety is not in jeopardy... we'll kick back and enjoy the show for a while. Once I've had enough...then yes...I'll throw out some humor...but it is based on interest/what I want. Throwing something out into the environment and seeing what happens <-these usually work to diffuse the tension for some reason. Obviously, I don't know all EXFP 7s...but they will either jump in to defend...or be entertained...until it is too much or they are bored.


    ---------------------------------
    And you wrote basically the same thing in the next post down.

    Quote Originally Posted by Chanaynay View Post
    IME ENFPs (7s) aren't so much bothered by conflict (when they're not on the receiving end of it) but rather "inconvenienced" by it as it muddles their previously positive experience and disrupts the fantastical distraction we've set up for ourselves. But I'm also of the opinion that ENFPs are more self-centered and superficial than type descriptions lead on and that ESFJs are a lot less judgmental and "middle aged woman on the phone with her girlfriend about what they've been reading in People Mag" than type descriptions lead on...so I feel like our perspective on the types as a whole differ <- also that's not a dig at your perspective on ESFJs haha I know your view is more balanced/somewhere in between
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  4. #6354
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    Quote Originally Posted by MDP2525 View Post
    Lol. Well, to be fair, when I say gossip...I don't mean they are telling people other people's business. Wrong word maybe. But they are the "sit down and tell me all about hon" types. Like, they want so badly to lend the ear.

    I see ENFP's a bit more...there's a boundary there. Like, am I over-stepping? I think they go through more of that.


    I missed so much last night...


    As strange as this may sound...I'm not really sure I even know what gossip means. <-Not because I don't do it necessarily... I'm not all that interested in finding out what so-and-so is up to or who is now dating or divorcing whom. I don't see that as being harmful...potentially harmful if one or both people are inserting their own understandings as truth...but whatever. It is merely because that kind of stuff is boring to me in the first place.

    I usually don't request counsel from others. I've heard Fe on this site talk about needing to bounce ideas off others...like if they are having challenges with another person...but I have no interest in doing that.

    Shit talking <-While the need/desire is rare for me...I won't hesitate to shit talk someone (venting rant) but only with someone I trust will not be swayed by my opinion. And that knows I am aware that this is only my opinion if that makes sense.
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  5. #6355
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    Quote Originally Posted by MDP2525 View Post
    I'm out of wine. It's a real problem. It's not ok. <--- I'm actually not mad. He looks really intense. That's not the right emoji. Meh.
    I thought this actually was the "out of wine" emoji

    :outofwine:

    edit
    :novino:
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  6. #6356
    Crude & outdated Array Anaximander's Avatar
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    Hello typoC. Been a while since someone called me out in this thread. I think Evee was the last and then he backtracked in a Facebook PM LOL
    Quote Originally Posted by typh0n
    Usually it's the far left or the far right criticizing the establishment, but I don't see why I couldn't be an "an anti-establishment centrist"
    http://swfanon.wikia.com/wiki/Gray_Jedi_Code

    http://www.with.org/tao_te_ching_en.pdf

    http://www.aikidoseiki.com/doc/aikid..._peace_eng.pdf
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  7. #6357
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wind Up Rex View Post
    Do you have other kinds of alcohol? You could also have it delivered.





    I just want some confirmed ESFJ to just walk in, side eye everyone and be like.

    haha!
    This actually got me thinking about hiring a group of ESFJs to make-over my life.
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  8. #6358
    Rainy Day Woman Array MDP2525's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Starry View Post
    I thought this actually was the "out of wine" emoji

    :outofwine:
    I was more sad...like this:

    but you did mention this earlier in the thread:

    I learned long ago that if I try to mediate others or try to diffuse tension on behalf of others in a way I think they would appreciate or in a way I feel would be appropriate for the specific set of circumstances/environment...I'm going to make the situation ten times weirder...like without fail.
    It totally does! It. Just. Does. It's very funny tho.

    EXFP 7s don't. For us it is more important for something to be interesting. And so as long as we are not immediately involved...or having our values tripped...or human safety is not in jeopardy... we'll kick back and enjoy the show for a while. Once I've had enough...then yes...I'll throw out some humor...but it is based on interest/what I want. Throwing something out into the environment and seeing what happens <-these usually work to diffuse the tension for some reason. Obviously, I don't know all EXFP 7s...but they will either jump in to defend...or be entertained...until it is too much or they are bored.
    Interesting. Now, you just showed a distinction to me. Outwardly, it looks the same. You cannot tell whether the ExFP is doing it out of boredom or defense, or smoothing of feathers. I also see this in my ENFP. For instance, if he knows how I feel or think about something and it is strong, if that subject gets brought up in discussion, even if it isn't heated or anything with someone else, I see him tense up a bit. Like, "be alert/must protect" here....

    I think that is defending me, or watching out for me. Still, I sort of see how intense his discomfort or boredom must be because of how ill-timed the joke will come in. The more bored/wary the more "forced" the diffusion! I also see this in my ESFP friend too, btw.

    I'm not all that interested in finding out what so-and-so is up to or who is now dating or divorcing whom. I don't see that as being harmful...potentially harmful if one or both people are inserting their own understandings as truth...but whatever. It is merely because that kind of stuff is boring to me in the first place.

    I usually don't request counsel from others. I've heard Fe on this site talk about needing to bounce ideas off others.
    This is a big difference in just Fe and Fi in general and when discussing ENFP/ESFJ, I think it's a pretty good distinction to make! It's often what I see as the difference in typed people I know IRL. ESFJ's, I know really enjoy this. Learning, bouncing off. ENFP's do this....but it's totally not in the same way. With ESFJ's it seems seamless. There is less of a building of trust necessary that I think ENFP's generally enjoy.
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  9. #6359
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cloudpatrol View Post
    I think sometimes it's possible to not feel a type resonates with oneself. But, here's the thing: it doesn't mean that the person being questioned doesn't like or wish they COULD be that particular type.


    ie. I would make a horrible INTJ and would say NO! if that got suggested to me. But, I LOVE INTJ's, think they are hilarious and brilliant. I just would suck at being one. However, I admire all the things they are (and I'm not) and am drawn to those qualities.


    I honestly think MOST personality descriptions are rife with stereo-types. Discussions like this - that involve living control groups - are great for de-bunking those.


    I have been thinking about @Starry's descriptions about the 'typing heyday' here and realize that it's important for the person receiving input not to take things personally (yep failed at this in my own thread ) AND the giver not to be overly invested in their suggestion.


    It is really helpful to be questioned. Especially if no ulterior motives or large ego is present on EITHER end.

    I don't suggest mis-types because frankly I don't feel educated enough to do so But, this thread and the typing threads are really useful.


    Oh yeah, I also forgot about the SJ "gossip thing". Agree all types gossip. I think (based on people I know) that SJ's are legitimately interested in people and are good at deciphering individual dynamics. This may be translated into a stereo-types of gossip but I see it more as genuine care and concern for people in general.


    {Sidenote: We should discuss this sometime @Enthusiastic_Dreamer.



    That is almost exactly how I described myself in my thread. I vacillate between thinking it's 'self-serving' and justifying why it totally isn't [/I] }


    This is a great post Cloudpatrol.

    I think it is also important to remember...like Chanaynay has already mentioned...that this has always been understood to be an interesting activity...a way to learn and socialize. If people do become enthusiastic in their typings it is 99% of the time very well meaning. <-Members assume that the majority of members here are here because a.) they are interested in type b.) they want to be typed accurately and c.) they trust that most member's identities and egos are not bound to being a certain type.

    Likewise, lots of people will merely say "I think you are XXXX" and leave it at that. Some people don't want explanations...some people don't want to give explanations...some people don't have explanations...only vibes...but will give you their opinion anyway in case you are keeping a tally of member opinions during your stay here. I would hate to see these methods insulted and degraded due to type-related preferences or because the individual doesn't appreciate having their type questioned. We all type by vibes...why? Because it has proven itself a worthy tool.

    I have been close to calling highlander to this thread a couple of times merely because I've never seen the likes of this and wonder what the heck is going on. In the past...if you were a member here you accepted this as part of the deal. If there was an individual you felt was using type-related arguments as merely a vehicle to insult you (this has happened to me once) you deal with it individually...but you would never expect not to be typed unless you were asked. Is this going to change? It's up to highlander but I can't imagine it.
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  10. #6360
    Paragon Gone Wrong Array OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chanaynay View Post
    Hmm, well if you wanted more reasons I could outline a few from what I've seen on the forum.

    Your interactions tend to go very smoothly. Not to say you go about socializing with a certain "finesse" but I've noticed that even during conflicts with escalating levels of heat you tend to stay in the middle man position in one or two ways - delving into a "bigger picture" problem at large catalyzing the conflict, being playful and joking with others inadvertently helping prevent either side from getting far out of hand, etc. Those with an Fe ego (and ESFJs moreso than ENFJs due to differing interaction styles) value harmonious social interactions, fostering an upbeat and positive emotional environment where people can interconnect with others and communicate with each other. In that way I see you as that same kind of pleasant and tranquil.

    In the same way I said in the past that @themightyfetus excels at seeing the world in an optimistic light, I've seen the same kind of rose-tinted view of life come through in some of your posts. I think one time when I was lurking through the random thought thread I liked something you said about how you rediscover who you are when you gaze up at the stars. I think these very romantic portrayals of the world clue me into ESFJ, as a type that values happy and positive environments of course sees the world in a happy and positive light as well. And I think this also relates to what you experience as your Fi going "deep" (although admittedly I've never fully grasped what you meant when you said that haha). iirc you described as your Ne wanting to get to know everything, but your Fi provides accentuates it by warranting further thorough investigation. From an alternative perspective, it could be that wanting to know everything and gaining a deep understanding of it could be more rooted in Fe, as trying to intimately understand so much relates back to interconnecting with others and creating a warm and empathetic atmosphere. And on the flip side, Ne is less like "ooh shiny object" syndrome ( @OrangeAppled once said she actually finds this symptom more in ExFJs, due to tertiary Pe and to keep the momentum of positive interaction flowing) and actually more disinterested by a surprising amount of what the world has to offer. I don't know about going deep, but I'd say the Ne ego rather latches onto ideas and concepts its engaged by and then seeks a way to bounce ideas off others because it's that building of ideas that is stimulating. So when I hear about the idea of gathering a deeper understanding in relation to one's environment, I think Fe.

    And just to pull up a specific quote:


    ^This is something I've also seen common in ExFJ - stereotyped as "the givers" but I think more than anything else what they give is a sense of value at the expense of their own. I think there is a kind of social anxiety that can exist in Fe types (but especially ESFJ as Si can make them especially anxious about what can go wrong...which is why 6 is probably a common Enneagram typing for both SFJs), so while they grace others with an inherent respect and value they may be hard on themselves because of how much they perceive themselves as not being good enough. I think that's why self-love is a concept that resonates with many ExFJs as its a therapeutic concept to them, and I also think that's why so many ESFJs can misidentify as NFP nowadays as the idea of listening to one's own needs and caring for oneself can seem like Fi from the get-go. In addition the comment itself is...classically e2 at the very least. 2 gives so much love to others, but it stems from a lack of the own absence of love they possess for themselves. And while 2 and 7 are both positive outlook, it manifests differently. In 2, positive outlook manifests in how it influences and relates to its surroundings (much like what I said above about Fe...and its no surprise above all type combinations 2's correlation with Fe has been one of the strongest). On the other hand, 7's positive outlook manifests in the corners it cuts to escape from its own emptiness (the keyword being emptiness rather than shame). And while I could believe the idea of you chasing your own tail in that way, I do also feel a shame or insecurity regarding your sense of identity...and your naturally consistent positive influence in forum interactions is clear to me.

    So there are a few reasons I could churn out for you if you were feeling in the dark about these suggestions

    At first, I was like, "How much of this is e7?"

    But then I saw more clarification later.... I agree ExFP 7s are less "why can't we all just get along?" in their attitude. They don't soothe rifts as swiftly with others, often because it just doesn't bother them or they are more concerned with "rightness" (there's that aggressive, petty, infantile Te).

    For example, I have seen ESFPs get angry at others for being disagreeable in a way that makes things way worse than the initial disagreement, and I usually see it as a concern over their own unpleasant emotion (hence why they disrupt things even more by addressing it). *EDIT - it's more like, "ugh, why are you being such a downer?!".

    I also think an interest in gossip (which doesn't have to be malicious or negative - but can just be "discussing the ongoings of people") is more SF in general because of the Sensing preference (seeks out more factual, literal, linear info).

    My ESFP sister cam definitely gossip, but I encounter this way less in, say, ENFJs. NFs just have much less interest in concrete/factual details about people, so our interest in people doesn't manifest as "gossip" nearly as much. Not saying it doesn't ever happen... I have even seen the most detached INTP greedily slurp up some gossip on a rare occasion.

    I get accused of a disinterest in people by SFs in my life (an accusation which makes me angry now...as I've noted I'm sick of being told I am cold by these people) because I can't do "he said...then she said..." types of conversations and I tend to not ask about and/or remember concrete details about people. I have gotten better at stomaching this when I realized my aversion to it was unreasonably hostile, in the same way my ESFP sister will angrily interrupt my theorizing with "that's NOT REEEEAL!".

    Anyway, I am not interested in witch-hunting people, but interesting conversation, nonetheless.
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