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  1. #6161
    Dream without Hesitation Dreamer's Avatar
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    Been really introspective the past couple of weeks and thanks to some members on vent asking questions about Fi, I was able to reflect and get more in touch with mine. So much so, the self attached labeling of "INFP" is feeling more and more adequate as I leave it up. Admittedly I just changed it to see how it fit for a short while, but now I'm sort of buying into it....

    Sorry @21lux, but that "I" will probably be staying up a tad while longer

    You guys have probably seen my video so you can make the call whether INFP fits or not, but ugh...I'm in Fi land right now hahaha I'll let ya'll know when I get back home from vacation.
    The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams
    -Eleanor Roosevelt

  2. #6162
    You are what you love themightyfetus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cloudpatrol View Post
    Nope, don't feel bombarded

    These are good things to consider. I really appreciate your feedback (hug!) You made me sit up and take note!

    I am not resistant to determining I am a different type (enneagram…). I have long been envious of “S” types and consider it an honour to even be considered! I have recently abandoned some ‘strong beliefs’ I’ve had since childhood and although scary, it’s also thrilling

    Difficulty due to: finding myself in many type profiles! Thus, I find it best to winnow the overwhelmingly applicable characteristics down as much as possible. Also, to rely on that feeling of “having arrived home” when reading descriptions.

    A frequent complaint of many friends (and even more so family) is that although they authentically know me, I am hard to pin down and know in a COMPLETE sense.

    I definitely DID relate to some of ISFJ. Like seeing someone in a crowd who has remarkably similar physical features to me. When I read INFX descriptions, I feel like I am talking with old friends who ‘get me’.

    Yes, I think INFP’s are more uncomfortable in the spotlight. My family background required me to ‘put on’ extroversion until I reached an age where I made the decision to take off the social mask. I have a background in theatre and performing (dance, singing in a band). My introversion level measures only slightly less than my extraversion. I feel these factors may play a part?

    Interesting. I agree with you that the ‘emotional expression’ aspect seemingly contradicts Fi/Fe. Good point!

    I do have a very practical/pragmatic side. I was not this way until I was married and saw in an intimate setting; HOW beneficial utilizing that way of thinking can be. I consciously made the effort - to adopt habits/ways of thinking that were opposite to myself but would serve me better - when rational or logical approach was appropriate.

    I think I am even more so since my husband died and I do not want to ‘forget’ that influence. I know that isn’t traditionally associated with INFP and it has been bewildering for me when trying to make determinations also.

    Having a chill and easygoing atmosphere is core to my life. I will base decisions (who to include more in my life, what to do for work, where to live…) based on this. I do NOT like drama, or things being written in stone.

    So friendship with sexual tension sounds hella more fun than two people politely smiling and sticking their pinkies out drinking weak tea.

    Ha! (laughs) I get what you are saying about personal preference. Even though dating is increasingly casual, I still know people who value a more traditional dating format. My 21-year-old cousin is currently planning a first-date for the girl he likes with flowers, a poem, dinner…the whole shebang. She is the kind that will eat that up ;D

    I get that I am not socially a typical INFP at all & understand how this would make my type up for discussion.

    I am very shy at times. I recently explained to @riva that if TypeC had a party I would go: enter the room confidently, want to meet everyone, dance and laugh. But, if a week later I saw someone who I had REALLY liked at the party…I would quickly scurry into a subway entrance until I knew they had passed. Even though I desperately WOULD want to talk to them

    This doesn’t prevent me from direct communication because I favour honest interface MORE, but the shyness IS present.

    I do see myself in 2 - just don’t feel those motivations and fears - MORE SO than the ones within 4.

    It may not be as readily apparent because I reveal myself VERY slowly. I have been on public forum’s before and this is the first time I am williing/trying to truly speed up the rate of opening myself. I recognize that the benefit’s outweigh my desire to keep to self. It may seem like I ‘put it all out there’ but in actuality I am struggling to figure out the appropriate speed. Given it normally takes, a LOT of one-on-one interaction to go to those “other levels” with people.

    I understand the 4’s desire for connection (stronger than my need to help & display love although those elements are also key!) and knowing self. Also, the fear that if people truly DO know you that they will reject you. Because they prefer the ‘easy breezy you’ to the darker side that can also be present.

    {Even if one is not REALLY dark, BUT that side is in such contrast to the sunny and personable side. I have often had people tell me “You can’t be grumpy. You are ___(my name)____.” I value my ISTP so much because he lovingly forces me to ‘rant’ sometimes}.

    I understand the ’lessons’ of a 4. I have had to learn that profound creativity doesn’t put always put food on the table. That I need to not take myself seriously. To question the ‘stories or beliefs’ I construct and remember to do it with humour. That I can be vulnerable but still open.

    These have been arduous lessons for me to absorb. I am still working on it all so I don’t back-slide when under stress…


    Now what? (smiles)
    I'm going to sleep. I'll try to respond to this tomorrow.
    Yet I know, if I stepped aside
    Released the controls, you would open my eyes
    That somehow, all of this mess
    Is just my attempt to know the worth of my life
    .

    Mercury - Sleeping At Last

    3w2 // 6w7 // 9w1
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  3. #6163

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    So, ESFJ is ISFJ in more ways than one.
    "Be-and yet know the great void where all things begin,
    the infinite source of your own most intense vibration,
    so that, this once, you may give it your perfect assent."
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  4. #6164

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    Quote Originally Posted by SearchingforPeace View Post
    Not a ISFJ. But I never thought you could be.

    However, I am getting a NFJ vibe.... I don't feel a lot of Fi in your answer. And INFPs have tert Si, so all those things you just used to push against being a Si dom have application here as well. And nothing in your answer seemed to push against being a Fe aux.

    How do you feel about Ni and Fe? Do you relate to them at all?
    I am still giving this thought (grins).

    @21lux helped me immeasurably and has given me more to 'chew on'.

    One thing he spoke about that I found clarifying (hope it's ok I am alluding to this here, Lux) is the dynamic between Fi vs Fe involving ethics and it's application.

    That Fe is more of a crusader, will work to change people's opinions with the goal of reaching consensus.

    That Fi has strong inner morals/values but does not need to influence people to change. That they retain those values whether it is a consensus or not.

    I strongly relate to Fi here. If I believe in something I may quietly go about looking to effect change. But, I don't need to. My preference is just to lead by example (taking attention to make sure I CAN be a worthy example ). I don't need others to share my view. If I have the inner knowledge and belief that the value is correct = that is enough for me.
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  5. #6165
    breaking out of my cocoon SearchingforPeace's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cloudpatrol View Post
    I am still giving this thought (grins).

    @21lux helped me immeasurably and has given me more to 'chew on'.

    One thing he spoke about that I found clarifying (hope it's ok I am alluding to this here, Lux) is the dynamic between Fi vs Fe involving ethics and it's application.

    That Fe is more of a crusader, will work to change people's opinions with the goal of reaching consensus.

    That Fi has strong inner morals/values but does not need to influence people to change. That they retain those values whether it is a consensus or not.

    I strongly relate to Fi here. If I believe in something I may quietly go about looking to effect change. But, I don't need to. My preference is just to lead by example (taking attention to make sure I CAN be a worthy example ). I don't need others to share my view. If I have the inner knowledge and belief that the value is correct = that is enough for me.
    Thanks for the response.

    I see Fi as the crusader. One of MBTI nicknames of ENFP is champion. Most ENFP descriptions I have seen talks of causes. Now Fi doms can do the "lead by example" thing, I guess, but most I know embody their beliefs (especially the ISFPs). My wife is a shinning pilar of Fi when engaged and few can not feel the intensity of her values. It is her not eloquence or connecting to everyone else, it is her profound depth of her values, that seems to be able to move mountains.

    My values are mine. I don't sway back and forth with a group. I also don't proselytize others much.

    What I do is find common ground with others and build a relationship on that. And I can do that with anyone anywhere. I don't shove my differences of values in the face of others. So can I be friends with an atheists and a born again Christian? Yes. Can I easily interact with communists and libertarians? Yes.

    So, I try to work with others and nudge them to better themselves.

    Most ENFPs I know can be pretty blunt and caustic when they find an area where someone disagrees with them that they otherwise connect with and try to battle the person into submission or cut them off.

    Moreover, FPs use Te to communicate and tend to be harsher and blunter, saying what they feel without accommodation the feelings of others. My wife often uses blunt and harsh language, as well. Fe may sound more authoritative and compelling (so I have been told) but in person, I am always sensitive to the feelings of others and try to couch my language in a manner that is both emotionally sensitive and likely to impact others

    So, a lot of what I sense about how you operate here and your real life seems to care about others. Now, a FP can care about others a lot if that is one of their core values, so it can get confusing.

    Finally, functions have two sides and we just prefer one. A Fi dom will have strong Fe that is unconscious, and a Fe dom will have strong Fi that is really hidden. The path for each is to go to the other direction, hence I am spending a lot of time exploring my inner space, which is a very awkward and difficult process to me.

    Again, I don't know if you really are a FJ or FP, but so much of you vibes Fe....
    Quote Originally Posted by Archilochus
    The fox knows many things--the hedgehog one big one.
    And I am not a hedgehog......

    -------------------

    Jesus said "Blessed are the peacemakers" not "blessed are the conflict avoiders.....

    9w8 6w5 4w5 sx/so
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  6. #6166
    Sweet Summer Child yama's Avatar
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    jung is actually the one who said Fe types are more likely to be the moral crusaders but i cannot find the original quote atm.

    Fe types want consensus--some will stereotypically "conform to the norm" and others will fight to make what they believe the "norm."
    Fi types work independently of whatever that "norm" is. they do not seek to either change others views, nor will they compromise on their own.
    Je vs Ji.

  7. #6167
    Tormenta Nørrsken's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 21lux View Post
    jung is actually the one who said Fe types are more likely to be the moral crusaders but i cannot find the original quote atm.

    Fe types want consensus--some will stereotypically "conform to the norm" and others will fight to make what they believe the "norm."
    Fi types work independently of whatever that "norm" is. they do not seek to either change others views, nor will they compromise on their own.
    Je vs Ji.
    I'm definitely a Fe type, then.
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  8. #6168
    Junior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by 21lux View Post
    jung is actually the one who said Fe types are more likely to be the moral crusaders but i cannot find the original quote atm.

    Fe types want consensus--some will stereotypically "conform to the norm" and others will fight to make what they believe the "norm."
    Fi types work independently of whatever that "norm" is. they do not seek to either change others views, nor will they compromise on their own.
    Je vs Ji.
    If you happen to find it, do tell us

  9. #6169
    Les Do Dis Forever's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 21lux View Post
    jung is actually the one who said Fe types are more likely to be the moral crusaders but i cannot find the original quote atm.

    Fe types want consensus--some will stereotypically "conform to the norm" and others will fight to make what they believe the "norm."
    Fi types work independently of whatever that "norm" is. they do not seek to either change others views, nor will they compromise on their own.
    Je vs Ji.
    Question: so if an Fi user sees someone getting bullied. The bully's moral is different from the Fi person. So would the Fi user stop? Just stand and watch and say bullying sucks? Lol.
    If you make decisions based upon people's reactions or judgments then you make really boring choices.

    The more people love you, the more there's going to be people that hate you.

    I'm crazy and I don't pretend to be anything else.

  10. #6170
    Sweet Summer Child yama's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Forever View Post
    Question: so if an Fi user sees someone getting bullied. The bully's moral is different from the Fi person. So would the Fi user stop? Just stand and watch and say bullying sucks? Lol.
    It doesn't mean Fi users never do anything to create change. It just means that they don't feel the need for that consensus the way Fe does
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