Me changing my type is basically not new. When I took the mbti test for the first time about a year ago I got ENTJ. But after reading its profile on typelogic.com I figured that the type sucks and tried it with entp. I saw a lot familiarities between my real self and what was described in the entp type. I continued to read on various sites about it, eventually stranding here. In the beginning it was like an identification system. You identified things you do or already did and finally found names for them a way to universally share them with others, which has never happened before. That was marvellous but it let to a great deal of misconceptions. For example, I really never met an entp, who likes to actually build gadgets. But I do, I got an automated door alarm, a electric circuit for a traffic light and the greatest thing I ever built was the automated turf cutting automaton, which is still a prototype. I though never found someone, who does that aswell, therefore I came into the first difficulties in understanding the system.
The next thing I learnt about was the function system. And with that things went down the road. Firstly the thing about Ti and Te. According to the entp profile, I am supposed to be retrofitted with Ti. What made sense concerning my ability to write computer programs or build devices. What I never really saw tho was that I actually never did something without a purpose. All the things I programmed so far took place in a small business I founded with a colleague back in the days and we made a lot of money with. The turf cutting automaton I build to sell it for horrendous amounts of money to the rich neighbours here. The alarm doorstep I build after my family got robbed in our old home. The traffic lights I build for our bycycle racetrack, cause we figured that was it that was missing if you want to have a real short-run racing track. So it all fullfilled a purpose.
But things got worse, a few times someone posted mathematical or logical riddles on the forum. And I remembered a crucial thing from my past. There was that guy who always impressed others with his riddles, even my girlfriend I had back in the days. I from the start refused to participate, cause I found it to be total bullshit. To solve a riddle about 3 guys smoke, 2 live in a yellow house and the third is gay, who owns a dog ? I found it to be intellectual sparing or showing off ones skills and I dread showoffs the most (prolly because I am one myself). Well this and then, in the forum the intp's attacked the riddles and occasionally the entp's loved em aswell. I was never one of them.
The third thing I discovered through my university studies. Though I always say I hate diagramms, I catch myself more and more using a wide variety of logic diagramms in my new job. They make work so much easier and I love it to bring structure to chaos. I love it when the cogs turn after careful planning create a perfect working system, steaming and humming floating smoothly thru the ocean cutting the water in two equal halfs. Its just its nice.
The Ti / Te issue but I forgot when a graver issue struck me. I got a conversation with my gf half a year ago and with heart from this forum too and that time I changed to enfp. There was a thing going on in ennegram which started the whole thing and there was the huge problem that it seemed all Fe user have a huge lack of morality or can be nothing else but naive. I was picked on in a thread, someone challenged my integrity and portraied me as being disloyal, just judging from my entp type and that stroke my heart, puncturing it on the first hit.
My girlfriend as Enneagram 6 told me too in those days that I have a HUGE AMOUNT of feeling in me, which is quite introverted. And cause she is the only one I really trust, I figured enfp solves two problems at once. Turns the Ti to Te and the Fe to Fi.
But, after a while I got to know an enfp guy more in the forums and he really was a cool and classic one. Someone I would call professional ladykiller. And I thought of myself: A) I am far too whiny to be like that B) I totally suck in understanding other peoples feelings and C) I am not cool . Therefore I fucked the enfp attempt up again and returned to the NT classic, which felt to be more right.
After that then I discovered the next evolutional step for me after classical physics, namely Socionics. The types there were described much more holistically and I fell in love with it. I went thru it for like 5 months trieing to figure it out.
Until I hit a dead end. Their way on describing my relationship with my infj was wrong. So I tried to figure if I may have mistyped her, but no that was not the case. Then I tried to forget about the whole shit, cause its all fucked up in any way but didnt work aswell. And then eventually I recalled what happened in the past, like I did here now and hit my forehead saying I am an idiot.
That was when I typed myself ESTJ Cause I still figured ENTJ wont work. Well and then the rest developed until now developed with the help of friends from this site and people who now me for some time now.
And I feel good, cause now my relationship to my INFJ fits perfectly. "The moth and the flame" they call it .
I am growing tired of writing now, so I will cut short.
I just wanted to say, what I was basically trieing is not to learn about myself thru the type system. Who I am I know, what I do I know and that cant be changed by noone. But I was trieing to blend in into the type system, I know it needs a lot of compromise and there are a lot of little things I forgot to mention now playing into it.
But its nice, if you have found something that gave you such a unique way to connect with people and actually be able to talk about the different layers and facettes of a human life in a language other people understand like you do, you want to be part of it and not turn out to be fail.
I know tho the system is nice on a paper but not always congruent with reality. Meaning I am writing from a healthy standpoint here, having the necessary psychological distance.
*end of justification*