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  1. #1
    Junior Member Bleach's Avatar
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    Default Which type is my friend?

    I have a good friend, whom I simply can't type. The only thing I'm completely sure of, is his initial E...

    He's in his 30s and financial secure.

    He's single, but has a strong wish to settle down. He has absolutely NO trouble getting girls to fancy him, but he's very picky and loses interest very easily. He's secretly loves romance and is amazing with children (and animals).

    Some years ago, in his mid 20s, he had a long-term girlfriend, but he couldn't seem to stop cheating on her. He never told her, but later revealed to me (during a long night of boozing), that he did it because she wasn't pretty enough for him, he felt incredibly bad about saying it out loud, but that was the cold hard truth.

    He's an excellent flirter, he gets his way with almost every girl he meets - however, if he's the slightest bit interested in the girl, he clams up and gets really nervous.

    When it comes to discussing 'deeper' subjects like politics, philosophy etc., he completely zones out due to boredom. He's actually a very smart guy, he loves going to the museum and is surprisingly cultural, he's just not interested in talking too much about it.

    He owns a motorcycle, snowboards every year, collects gadgets (he LOVES gadgets) and enjoys a fast-paced life in general.

    Alone time isn't a word in his vocab, he fills out every waking moment with things to see - and especially people to see - he needs people around all the time, he can't stand being alone and doing nothing.

    He's bubbly, friendly and always has a huge grin on his face - I've actually never seen him angry or upset.

    A thing that really messes with my brain about him, is his sensitivity. He's a really emotional guy, not something that is obvious to many, only the people close to his heart. He also ADORES his family, his loyalty towards them is quite something!

    His home is immaculate, he's a very neat guy. Also he enjoys the finer things in life, a good steak, wine etc.

    A thing that really took me off-guard, is his bossy side. Not many would know he even has it, but me, a younger INTJ female, gets to see it fairly often. I can be quite bossy without noticing it, behaving a bit like a puppet master, and when I behave like this around our group of friends, he steps in immediately, takes charge over me and tells me off - this without ANYONE, apart from the two of us, has a clue. If someone else even TRIED to behave like this towards me, there's NO chance in HELL they would survive!!! But for some reason, it's OK for him to do it...

    Any help typing my friend will be highly appreciated.
    Last edited by Bleach; 05-11-2014 at 08:41 AM.

  2. #2
    Senior Member LanaBanana's Avatar
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    My guess is ESFJ- can be bossy, dislikes "deeper subjects" though very smart, familiy oriented, neat, good with children and aminals, enjoys the good things in life; though I doubt an ESFJ would cheat on his girlfriend... My other guess is ESTJ because they can appear sensitive as well, though they are less friendly and bubbly. Give him information about the two types and let him decide with which one he identifies better. Good luck!

  3. #3
    Junior Member Bleach's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by LanaBanana View Post
    My guess is ESFJ- can be bossy, dislikes "deeper subjects" though very smart, familiy oriented, neat, good with children and aminals, enjoys the good things in life; though I doubt an ESFJ would cheat on his girlfriend... My other guess is ESTJ because they can appear sensitive as well, though they are less friendly and bubbly. Give him information about the two types and let him decide with which one he identifies better. Good luck!
    Thanks, Lana. Why would you note him as a J? Couldn't he be a P?

  4. #4
    Senior Member LanaBanana's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bleach View Post
    Thanks, Lana. Why would you note him as a J? Couldn't he be a P?
    ESTP crossed my mind, but I notcied you mentioned he's very loyal to his family and has a strong wish to settle down. Also, he's quite neat; P's are less orginzed. Hence, I believe he's a J.

    By the way, my name's Yarden and not Lana; my username is drawn from Lana Winters, a character from the show American Horror Story, haha. But I can definitely see why you'd think my name's Lana!

  5. #5
    Junior Member Bleach's Avatar
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    Nice to meet you, Yarden.

    How about ESTJ, then? I believe he's a Sensor, but I can't reckon whether he's T or F... I think you're right about the J.

  6. #6
    Senior Member LanaBanana's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bleach View Post
    Nice to meet you, Yarden.

    How about ESTJ, then? I believe he's a Sensor, but I can't reckon whether he's T or F... I think you're right about the J.
    Nice to meet you too!

    I was almost sure he's an ESTJ, because ESTJ's are also very sensitive (Think Monica from Friends), but they aren't really bubbly; they're more serious. But then again, this is my objective view, I don't know your friend personally. He might be an ESTJ with a strong Fi.

  7. #7
    Member Agnes's Avatar
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    ESFP

    E you already know, S cause he doesn't seem occupied with future and he enjoys life now living fast; F and T is hard as well as P and J. But I think he might be F. I was also thinking J, but I'm not sure, P seems to fit better with other that is already decided.

    Quote Originally Posted by Bleach View Post
    A thing that really took me off-guard, is his bossy side. Not many would know he even has it, but me, a younger INTJ female, gets to see it fairly often. I can be quite bossy without noticing it, behaving a bit like a puppet master, and when I behave like this around our group of friends, he steps in immediately, takes charge over me and tells me off - this without ANYONE, apart from the two of us, has a clue. If someone else even TRIED to behave like this towards me, there's NO chance in HELL they would survive!!! But for some reason, it's OK for him to do it...
    This can come from his F side, or FJ side. If I understood it well, he might want you to stop behave "unkind" to people or something like that. It reminds me of my mom FJ that scolds me like that. And only she can do that cause I would rip anyone else their head off.

  8. #8
    resonance entropie's Avatar
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    Better question would be: what do you do to win him over for your cause ?
    [URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEBvftJUwDw&t=0s[/URL]

  9. #9
    Member Fluorescent's Avatar
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    My first impression is ESFJ, though upon reading the other comments I guess he might be a 2w1 ESTJ.

    I see a lot Fe and you have to consider that gender brings a significant difference in typing, especially when it comes to SJs who are usually rooted in what society expects of them. So a male ESFJ is a masculine, driven and neat person with a soft interior and a strong desire to settle down and start the ideal family.
    In my opinion ESTJs and ISTJs are two faces of the same coin, both might give a stiff, stern and workaholic impression and whilst the extroverts are more suave, they are more prone to express their feeling through actions and providing security rather than charming and emotionally manipulating.
    Reigning in any kind of NT arrogance, especially when it comes to keeping the harmony, plus his love for animals and children makes me think of a Fe dom and his bubbliness and love for the finer things in life are very Se. No Si whatsoever.

    A 2w1 wing could justify both of his fixation on perfection ("not pretty enough") and his need to constantly seek and size a partner.
    “…why is it that when one man builds a wall, the next man immediately needs to know what’s on the other side?”

  10. #10
    Senior Member lecky's Avatar
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    I immediately thought ENTP 3w2, not sure why.
    Tritype 6-9-4 Sp/Sx

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