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Selfish "F's"?

Usagiya

New member
Joined
Mar 22, 2014
Messages
2
MBTI Type
ISFJ
Enneagram
2w1
I have a lot of F (feeling) friends. Some of them are super sensitive to other's feelings and change their behavior to make those around them happy. Others seem less in tune with other's feelings or, even if they are, don't really adapt their behavior in response. Maybe calling them "selfish" is unfair. Please let me know if you can think of a better term.

My question is, do highly sensitive and responsive people have a higher "F" than those who are not so caring? Low "F's" may therefore be emotional and base their actions on their feelings rather than logic, but that doesn't necessarily mean they are supportive friends. Agree or disagree?
 

kyuuei

Emperor/Dictator
Joined
Aug 28, 2008
Messages
13,964
MBTI Type
enfp
Enneagram
8
MBTI says Fe/Fi has a lot of everything to do with that. Fe will be more adjusting of others vs Fi. Being intuitive vs sensory is another one that could be argued in relation to the Fe/Fi too.

For me personally, I find myself to be a pretty selfish person. I begrudgingly adjust to others, but I wish I wouldn't have to, and frequently I feel like I have to be almost politician in nature just to talk to people, which I find inconvenient. :laugh:
 

Hive

hypersane
Joined
Nov 25, 2010
Messages
1,233
MBTI Type
ISTP
Enneagram
9w8
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
T vs F is essentially if you make decisions primarily based on logic or ethics. (Not emotions.)

Making logically based decisions doesn't entail selfishness (One could argue that it would be logical to make personal sacrificies for increased efficency and the greater good.), and making morally based decisions doesn't necessarily mean you care for other people's needs. (What if prioritizing the individual and her own needs/desires is your moral philosophy?)

Fe (xxFJ's and xxTP's) is attuned outwardly and more often desires social harmony and a "code of behaviour" within a group.
Fi (xxFP's and xx TJ's) is attuned inwardly and is first and foremost concerned with keeping personal actions congruent with personal ethics.

Fi can have a knee jerk response when expected to adapt to "correct" behaviour.
Especially immature Fi can defy these expectations only for the hell of it.

As a Fi user, I don't see myself as very selfish or unaccomodating. I'll admit to being egocentric though, as in constantly asking "How does this relate to ME? What do I think of this? Do I agree or not? Is this even worth caring about?". If the answer to that last question is "no", I won't live up to such expectations imposed on me. However, I won't be defiant without a reason, so I say you should ask your friends why they act the way they do when you feel they're being selfish. If it can't be justified, you're probably just dealing with an immature dick.
 
L

LadyLazarus

Guest
Hmm I am unsure as to whether feeling works on a sliding scale that way, because I do not understand how the functions of each type would play out if so.

Anyway, I think those who heavily use Fi(so dom or aux) are more prone to being sensitive. While those who use Fe to the same extent are more prone to being caring in the classical sense of the word. However, that's not necessarily always true, as I've met some very caring Fi-doms/auxs, though their caring differs from Fe-doms/auxs' caring, it seems to me more like empathy than sympathy.

I believe you are speaking in terms of the dichotomies where F and T do work on a sliding scale(if I am remembering that correctly), I suggest you look at the functions of each type over the dichotomies as they can be unreliable and very surface level in comparison. :)
 

Stephano

Almöhi
Joined
Aug 8, 2012
Messages
1,105
MBTI Type
NFP
Low "F's" may therefore be emotional and base their actions on their feelings rather than logic, but that doesn't necessarily mean they are supportive friends. Agree or disagree?

Agree. I also think Fi's are more likely to be selfish than Fe's. "Unhealthy Fi's only care about their own emotions.
 

Avocado

Permabanned
Joined
Jun 28, 2013
Messages
3,794
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
7w6
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
I am not sure.
 

yeghor

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 21, 2013
Messages
4,276
I have a lot of F (feeling) friends. Some of them are super sensitive to other's feelings and change their behavior to make those around them happy. Others seem less in tune with other's feelings or, even if they are, don't really adapt their behavior in response. Maybe calling them "selfish" is unfair. Please let me know if you can think of a better term.

My question is, do highly sensitive and responsive people have a higher "F" than those who are not so caring? Low "F's" may therefore be emotional and base their actions on their feelings rather than logic, but that doesn't necessarily mean they are supportive friends. Agree or disagree?

In dominant position, I guess Fe tries to arrange the environment to its liking whereas in auxiliary position it tries to accommodate those in the environment and tries to adapt to others' preferences if possible (to avoid conflict among other things)... So Fe-dom is self-focused where Fe-aux is others-focused...

Fe-tert I think is just basic-Fe used to placate or not offend others...
 

yeghor

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 21, 2013
Messages
4,276
I have a lot of F (feeling) friends. Some of them are super sensitive to other's feelings and change their behavior to make those around them happy. Others seem less in tune with other's feelings or, even if they are, don't really adapt their behavior in response. Maybe calling them "selfish" is unfair. Please let me know if you can think of a better term.

My question is, do highly sensitive and responsive people have a higher "F" than those who are not so caring? Low "F's" may therefore be emotional and base their actions on their feelings rather than logic, but that doesn't necessarily mean they are supportive friends. Agree or disagree?

Fi OTOH in dominant position is more isolated and has less affect on its environment whereas in auxiliary position it has more agency thru Ne or Se and exposes itself more to the environment ... In both positions it is centered on self rather than others... Dominant one is more passive\defensive whereas auxiliary one is more active\expanding...
 

HongDou

navigating
Joined
Nov 23, 2012
Messages
5,191
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
so/sx

LanaBanana

New member
Joined
May 7, 2014
Messages
209
MBTI Type
XXFJ
Enneagram
1w2
Instinctual Variant
so/sp
My younger sister is ESFP (hence: Fi) and she's a pretty selfish person, so it's very possible in my opinion! Though I believe that being a Fe dominant and selfish is a lot less likely.
 
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