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  1. #21
    this is my winter song EJCC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Beyonce View Post
    An so/sx knows it's own kind.

    What made you go from J to P after realizing that? I'd imagine being relied on would be negative/stressful for anyone really.
    Not necessarily J to P, but SJ to SP. I'm sure there are exceptions to this, but in my experience SJs don't shy away from commitment or from duty (which usually involves something or someone relying on you). Honestly the only times it's ever bothered me when people relied on me, were

    1) when I wasn't prepared,
    2) when they sprung it on me,
    3) when it was inconsiderate of my time/energy to ask that of me, and/or
    4) when they didn't help me when I clearly could benefit from it.

    That usually doesn't happen to me though.

    (Also I should mention that I feel most valuable when others are relying on me. I like it. But that may not be every SJ.)



    Edit: I really do feel like I can spot an so/sx from a mile away now! I learned a bit ago that I can spot sx-last people fairly quickly as well, in person, because they give me the creeps. I can't get a good read on them at all. (Also, speaking as a western ESTJ, I agree about regional influence on chillness. )
    ~ g e t f e s t i v e ! ~


    EJCC: "The Big Questions in my life right now: 1) What am I willing to live with? 2) What do I have to live with? 3) What can I change for the better?"
    Coriolis: "Is that the ESTJ Serenity Prayer?"



    ESTJ - LSE - ESTj (mbti/socionics)
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    want to ask me something? go for it!

  2. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by Beyonce View Post
    An so/sx knows it's own kind.

    What made you go from J to P after realizing that? I'd imagine being relied on would be negative/stressful for anyone really.
    Nope. Some people thrive from feeling and being responsible for the welfare of others. It gives them scope to explore their natural talents and sensibilities. Of course, it's diametrically opposed to the way you operate as an EP 7, which is probably why it sounds crazy/impossible to you.

    Your friend doesn't sound like an ESFJ at all to me.

  3. #23
    Blind Guardian Haven's Avatar
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    @Beyonce is she the female version of Alex Louise Armstrong?


    Anyway I'll try to relate to her and see where we differ.

    Quote Originally Posted by Beyonce View Post
    -Her free time is almost always spent doing something with friends. She loves to go to parties, dress up, get hammered, and have a good time.
    I sorta relate to this, but I need me time too.

    -She's positive but with a fire inside. She's energetic, self-confident, second-guesses others before herself, and she doesn't really blend in with the crowd.
    I can't seem to blend in with a crowd even if I try, I always stand out and I can't help it. I have my moments of doubt, but I think confidence is my natural. I sometimes hide my confidence with diplomacy.

    -She can get so caught up in what's going on in her immediate surroundings that she isn't really good at checking back in with her friends that aren't around.
    I usually keep track of one or two people so I never forget to check in with them, but otherwise I'm not very good at keeping up with my other friends if they aren't close.

    -Not too concerned with academic success. Doesn't respect the teacher unless she likes him/her as a person, but still marches to the beat of her own drum.
    I relate to this a lot, especially in grade school. Once I got to college I really focused on studying.

    -Her main goal in life seems to be to have fun and be happy. She's not very vocal about her vulnerabilities, and she often withdraws and doesn't talk to anyone if she feels stressed or upset.
    I relate to this.

    -She's friendly and engaging with anyone as long as she doesn't find them weird or creepy. If she does, she'll still be diplomatic to not cause any trouble but generally avoids contact with them.
    This.

    -Generally laid back and easygoing with a positive attitude, but she also can take on the role of the leader if no one else will. With me personally, she's more directive because I can't make decisions with much certainty really so she decides what to do.
    Right, I'm not directive unless I really have to be because I feel like I'm cashing in my karma too early. Unless someone really needs me to be bossy I wont. Not that I don't end up controlling things anyway, it's not that I try, it just happens.

    -Uninhibited, will do anything despite what people around her will think or say.
    ehhh not so much me, but I think this was beaten out of me at a young age (figuratively and literally) I've just been in too many culturally sensitive situations, and around too many violent people.

    -Flexible. She once told me, "when you live here, plans can change all the time so you have to learn to go with the flow."
    She seems very helpful, and yes my backup plans have backup plans.

    -Loves her TV shows. She often sends me clips from TV shows like Ugly Betty and she'll be like "omg we are these two." We still tell each other that we're like Meredith and Cristina from Grey's Anatomy. She's my "person."
    lol

    -She likes people with quirks. However, she won't hesitate calling something weird if she thinks it is.
    quirky people are the most interesting

    -Doesn't like to be relied on. She once didn't talk to her friends for a week because they all expected her to be the designated driver, when she didn't even want to go out (she just wanted to stay in and hang out). Sometimes she likes her alone time with people to bond.
    I don't think 2s like being relied on. Superman helps people on his own terms. People relying on me usually means letting people down, which makes me look bad. No one wants that.

    -She'll try to make sure everyone is happy and having a good time. She doesn't like seeing her friends sad or uncomfortable, so she'll do anything to try to help.
    ehhh I try to help, but within the confines of what is manly.

    -She knows what's acceptable or not. Back when we were younger I wanted to invite my friend over to a garage party, but she said I shouldn't without asking. She's definitely better at taking other people into consideration than I am.
    I always take other people into consideration.

    -She's pretty open-minded about anything if you're her friend. She's willing to change her perspective about things because she'll always ask you why you do something or like something.
    I love hearing different perspectives, it's one of those great things about having a mind--it can change.

    -Dedicated to lacrosse. She's very passionate about it, her teammates, her games, etc.
    I'm often dedicated to something. I don't mind being relied on for something I dedicate myself to.

    -Kind of rejects the French part of her identity. If someone would use the French pronunciation of her name (that isn't her dad), she'd say "no! it's 'gen-uh-veev'."
    seems image conscious

    -Very sweet and caring, engaging and adventurous, but also no bullshit and direct.
    I guess that could be me? Once I drop the diplomacy my words can sting (but it's like a targeted sting, so like if I had to hurt someone's feelings I know which feelings I'm hurting ideally).

    probably 2w3, hard to decide between ESFJ and ESFP. I ultimately settled on ESFJ for myself because I related to Ne a lot, but clearly was not Ne dominant.
    {The Diplomat}
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  4. #24
    Senior Member Nicodemus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Beyonce View Post
    Even my ESTJ 8w7 friend is laid-back and fun-loving.
    And, by the results of this thread, probably a mistyped ESTP!

  5. #25
    failed poetry slam career chubber's Avatar
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    @Comeback Girl, your opinion on ESFP, please.

  6. #26
    untitled Chanaynay's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post
    Not necessarily J to P, but SJ to SP. I'm sure there are exceptions to this, but in my experience SJs don't shy away from commitment or from duty (which usually involves something or someone relying on you). Honestly the only times it's ever bothered me when people relied on me, were

    1) when I wasn't prepared,
    2) when they sprung it on me,
    3) when it was inconsiderate of my time/energy to ask that of me, and/or
    4) when they didn't help me when I clearly could benefit from it.

    That usually doesn't happen to me though.

    (Also I should mention that I feel most valuable when others are relying on me. I like it. But that may not be every SJ.)
    Oooh, I see.

    I'm sure even a 2 might feel valuable if others depended on them though, if it meant that they'd be loved and appreciated in return. Still trying to work out a scenario for 7 but I honestly can't hehe.

    Yeah, my friend definitely has an independent streak. But I wouldn't say she really avoids commitment either. She's pretty dedicated to what she does, who she associates with, etc.

    Edit: I really do feel like I can spot an so/sx from a mile away now! I learned a bit ago that I can spot sx-last people fairly quickly as well, in person, because they give me the creeps. I can't get a good read on them at all. (Also, speaking as a western ESTJ, I agree about regional influence on chillness. )


    Quote Originally Posted by senza tema View Post
    Nope. Some people thrive from feeling and being responsible for the welfare of others. It gives them scope to explore their natural talents and sensibilities. Of course, it's diametrically opposed to the way you operate as an EP 7, which is probably why it sounds crazy/impossible to you.
    I can't believe more people like my mom are out there in the world!

    Your friend doesn't sound like an ESFJ at all to me.
    Does your vote go to ESFP? Or just non-ESFJ?

    Quote Originally Posted by Nicodemus View Post
    And, by the results of this thread, probably a mistyped ESTP!
    Stop making fun of me.

    Quote Originally Posted by Haven View Post
    @Beyonce is she the female version of Alex Louise Armstrong?
    I didn't watch because I didn't want spoilers! *has FMA on hold*

    I sorta relate to this, but I need me time too.
    She amazes me. I don't think there's a time where she ever needs to be left alone other than when she's stressed or upset. Otherwise, I'm completely blown away by how much socialization and hanging out she can handle.

    I can't seem to blend in with a crowd even if I try, I always stand out and I can't help it. I have my moments of doubt, but I think confidence is my natural. I sometimes hide my confidence with diplomacy.
    Awesome. I don't think she's very diplomatic, but maybe for our age she is if that means being warm and friendly. But otherwise she kinda speaks before thinking - I have the same issue sometimes hehe.

    I usually keep track of one or two people so I never forget to check in with them, but otherwise I'm not very good at keeping up with my other friends if they aren't close.
    Oooh, I see. You two should really work on that.

    I relate to this a lot, especially in grade school. Once I got to college I really focused on studying.
    For now I think she's still focused on partying haha.

    Right, I'm not directive unless I really have to be because I feel like I'm cashing in my karma too early. Unless someone really needs me to be bossy I wont. Not that I don't end up controlling things anyway, it's not that I try, it just happens.
    Hmm, I don't think she naturally ends up controlling things as much. It's only when everyone else is indecisive that she'll step up to the plate.

    ehhh not so much me, but I think this was beaten out of me at a young age (figuratively and literally) I've just been in too many culturally sensitive situations, and around too many violent people.
    By contrast, the town in California we lived in was so open and diverse we were told that we lived in a bubble.

    I don't think 2s like being relied on. Superman helps people on his own terms. People relying on me usually means letting people down, which makes me look bad. No one wants that.
    If you don't let people down though for relying on you does this make you feel good? Just saying because my 2w3 mom loves to talk about how she's basically a nurse.

    seems image conscious
    In that sense, yeah. Although I have an ESFJ 2w1 friend who actually is a lot more concerned with maintaining her image than my friend in question is. Sometimes while we're surrounded by all our other friends I'll go up to her and tell her about a video game we played and she'll get anxious and start shushing me.

    probably 2w3, hard to decide between ESFJ and ESFP. I ultimately settled on ESFJ for myself because I related to Ne a lot, but clearly was not Ne dominant.
    Hmm, that's a good point. Maybe she seems really Pe because she's got a good hold on Ne, which she could use to help her be more of an "entertainer." But who knows.
    7w6 - 2w3 - 8w7 sx/so


  7. #27
    Blind Guardian Haven's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Beyonce View Post
    Oooh, I see. You two should really work on that.
    I try to keep tabs on friends, but it's great when a friend lets me follow a different thread for a while and doesn't get upset that I wasn't there for a while. I come back stronger.

    Hmm, I don't think she naturally ends up controlling things as much. It's only when everyone else is indecisive that she'll step up to the plate.
    Oh yea there's active controlling (me stepping up) and then there's passive controlling (them coming to me for help/advice/decision making). Maybe controlling isn't the best word for that I dunno. Advising?

    If you don't let people down though for relying on you does this make you feel good? Just saying because my 2w3 mom loves to talk about how she's basically a nurse.
    It makes me a bit nervous, there's a fine line between being relied on and being taken for granted. So I guess it depends. The 3 in me wants to stand out, and I feel like I have to push back a little to avoid phasing out (w3 problems).
    {The Diplomat}
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  8. #28
    untitled Chanaynay's Avatar
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    Okay, now that I'm home I got my yearbook. I'll try typing out what it said without getting emotional. (I copied it word for word so I included errors and didn't add anything that wasn't there...like separate paragraphs)

    OOOOOOOOOOO HELL NO! I cannot believe this was my last year with you baby boo. You are def my best friend in high school, you have always been there for me and I will always be there for you even though we don't tell each other everything, that's what makes us great because we don't have to tell each other everything, we just have to give each other hugs and everything is instantly better. I love you so much I cannot even express to you how much I'm in love with you baby boo. I'm going to miss talking to you everyday in math and marine bio and being such a fucking fatty at your house. And of course I will drive up to see you all the time this summer. And now that you and Allie are going to both be in New York I have to visit! AWKWARD SPACE! Ok this is really annoying me how I'm not writing straight, so side tracking. There we go. I'm on the right track baby. I cannot believe that you are leaving me this summer. My best friend is leaving me. I'm tearing up just thinking about not having you close to me. The peak of our friendship for me, like when I really considered you my best friend was when Casey did that to me sophomore year and you were so comforting and you just knew exactly what to say and it was just so comforting and automatically it was just instant attachment to you. My hand is starting to cramp up and I'm not even half way done! God I wish you lived in Palo Alto because we could have done so much shit together. But the times that I will always remember are our sleepovers. Let's just think back to that absolute EPIC moment - when you did a keg stand. Omg I will never forget that. I just want you to remember Chandler that you got to make the best of every day. And trust me, when you are here, you will make the best of every day. I love how in our friendship we have never been in a fight and we will always be in love which is perfect. I can't even think about leaving you because I am crying just thinking about it. I cannot wait for us to live in the same city as each other and live the Sex and the City life, you are definitely so like Charlotte and lez be honest, I'm like Samantha. But I cannot wait for you to get your shit on in New York, but we will see what the future holds because BITCH I'm taking you to the San Francisco gay pride parade! You always know how to make me smile and you know me like the back of your hand, you know when I'm sad you know how to make me happy. But you know when I'm pissed that you beat me at the chubby bunny challenge because that's just not OK with me. I can just see you getting married to a black guy and having babies and me being the godmother, or maybe the surrogate mother....or maybe give you my egg or something OMG! OK it's already decided I'm going to give you one of my ovary eggs! AHHH! But we will never have sex so don't get any ideas you prince of a man. I can't wait to meet your babies. But holy fuck I'm so sad that I'm going to leave you. I'm not used to being away from you after 4 years together. Our friendship starting in French class and chewing gum in her class like badasses that we are. You will always be my best friend no matter what. I just have a feeling we will actually be friends forever. I love you baby boy.

    Okay, time to summon some oldies who participated before. @Haven @EJCC @Vetani @skylights @Agnes @LanaBanana @Nicodemus @senza tema
    7w6 - 2w3 - 8w7 sx/so


  9. #29
    this is my winter song EJCC's Avatar
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    Oh man -- ExFP def.
    ~ g e t f e s t i v e ! ~


    EJCC: "The Big Questions in my life right now: 1) What am I willing to live with? 2) What do I have to live with? 3) What can I change for the better?"
    Coriolis: "Is that the ESTJ Serenity Prayer?"



    ESTJ - LSE - ESTj (mbti/socionics)
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    want to ask me something? go for it!

  10. #30
    untitled Chanaynay's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post
    Oh man -- ExFP def.
    I'm pretty sure so/sx sounds good too, but what say you for e-gram?
    7w6 - 2w3 - 8w7 sx/so


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