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View Poll Results: what is chanaynay's instinct variant?

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  • so/sx

    16 80.00%
  • sx/so

    4 20.00%
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  1. #31
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    You seem so so/sx to me. Totally, totally personifying it. So/sx is fiery and attachy and "spark"ing too.

    Some people might remember that I identified as sx/so for a while. I think especially being a head type with a strong emotional core can make it seem like the social-and-head type combo is not deep enough or passionate enough. But all ENFPs are going to be deep and passionate on some level, it's just a matter of how much and where it manifests.

    Quote Originally Posted by Amargith View Post
    So...group of people, good reputation, community feel, many hands make light, navigating and networking with people, being in good standing and feeling like you belong - like to a tribe

    or

    Sexual tension, being considered attractive, easily jealous and competitive, intense passion and feeling alive, championing povs, striving to understand something feverishly, finding out who is intriguing to get to know and who packs the juice - not necessarily the prestige or power, but raw presence - in this joint?
    This is a hard one for me because I'd choose the bolded. "Networking" seems to often be a headache to all variant types minus so/sp, who seems to have a native facility with it, and even then e4 so/sp wouldn't be included. I think if Chay's like me, and he's fairly balanced so-sx, then it can be really hard to separate the fire (sexual) from the warmth (social).

    Starry was the one who pointed out to me how my directionality always goes to universals, which can be a Ne thing too but she observed (I hope I'm wording this correctly Starry) how I'd draw a feeling or principle from a one-on-one thing into a bigger-social-picture thing, and that was the first hint to me that I might not in fact be sx/so.

    As it turns out for me, being Social-first was something I wasn't aware of because (much like Ne dominance) it was so "native" to me that I didn't even realize I was focusing on it. I assumed everyone processed this way - being highly aware of how people are feeling during interpersonal interactions, noticing the minute cues that people give and respond to in interpersonal interaction, being concerned about the wellbeing of all people involved (seeking to maximize each individual's comfort while minimizing overall discomfort), feeling a connection with every person I encounter, fluidly transitioning to interaction with one person to another, seeking a secure position in a group (this is probably a soc-6 thing), very easily seeing the impact of reputation, and so on. I didn't realize I was thinking about this differently than anyone else.

    On the other hand, the sx-type fire has always been palpable and recognizable, the heart-yearning has always been deep and tangible, the melancholic euphoria has always been something that can "color" life beautiful and meaningful and tragic. And I have discovered that even in a relationship there is always going to be this fiery, yearning, melancholy part of me.

    I guess the thing that clinches it for me is that when push comes to shove, I believe it's true that I'm Social first. I see Social thoughts and behaviors as a sort of duty (I'm sure this is a very 6 way of putting it) that I have to my fellow beings. Sexual puts beauty and life into the world, but in my mind it comes second, like I have a responsibility to Life and the world to be interconnected and to have a positive impact first and then I can delve into the magic and beauty of it all. I feel like Life and the world gifted this existence to me, and it's my responsibility to give back accordingly. It's not a burden, though, it just feels part and parcel to existence. And I feel a very instinctual (finally this term makes sense) pull towards each and every person, like I'm connected to everyone on an individual basis. It would seem more Sexual - and I long thought it was - except the pull is there with everyone, and it's more about the love inside everyone than it is about each person. It's about connecting with the universal Love within them, I think, something like that. I find it easy to interact with people (this is maybe very NF and Fi?) because I have always assumed and trusted there's a place inside them that lights up like the place inside me, and it's always been true. It's just a matter of figuring out what lights them up. Sx people light up more quickly and clearly, and for that reason they can be very appealing, but I personally also have a penchant for "cracking" the sx-lasters.

    And I think it shows up in my ideals, too - one of the biggest concerns in my life right now is how my partner and my nuclear family (the people who are closest and most important to me) integrate. It absolutely spins my head to try to picture choosing one over the other, and it's a huge priority for me to have them get along. I don't necessarily need them to be BFF, but just having acceptance and at least neutrality if not positive feelings. I would struggle so much with my relationship being a constant source of distress to my parents and brother, or my family being a constant source of distress to my partner. I saw Social described once as being able to see the "mechanical wheels" of interaction, and for me that seems so accurate. It's just like you can see the ripple effect everywhere, how one thing impacts another, how one person impacts another, how one person impacts the group and how the group impacts one person and how the group impacts the group and how the group impacts other groups and how the combination of the group and the person impacts the world. It's infinite.

    I need to go to work now but I could wax on about this forever. @Chanaynay let me know if any of this is helpful or if there's anything else you want me to try to speak to to get a feel of how it could manifest for strong-sx so/sx.

  2. #32
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    ^ for that matter, compare me and skylights and account for 4 vs 6 and your own 7 and you should be able to tell who you relate to more.
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  3. #33
    Undisciplined Starry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chanaynay View Post
    Just because I don't really identify with the description of social 7. @kyuuei did clarify certain parts of it for me such as the part about being ambitious and five-like. Although I still don't feel like one of the most introverted 7s. In fact my extroversion is pretty apparent I've always thought. And while I have social ideals and follow my beliefs I'm still not as self-sacrificial, and I'm not as expectant of reparations when I'm generous with someone. I relate to the 2ish qualities it talks about, "seducing the world." But other than that it just didn't sound like a good fit for me.

    Although I think, most importantly, so/sx and 7w6 make sense separately. And I think that's what really matters.
    Okay, you know, you actually did tell me that Chan and for whatever reason it didn't connect in my mind. Had that occurred haha I would have told you *I personally* would not use Naranjo's social 7 description as a determining factor in this regard (yes, I think he's a genius in many respects and yet there's something very off with his take on the social 7 imo. He also correlated e7 with INTJ if that helps you in anyway haha.)

    Still, after a great deal of thought am I ready to slam down the gavel on so/sx for you? I can't say that I am (we've talked about how differently I "do the enneagram" ) I don't think it's as cut and dry with you as it is for others. I do not look past the fact there are many features to your personality that will look and vibe 'social dominance' even if it could somehow be scientifically proven this is not the case. All ENFP e7s...especially when they are young and the world is new...will have a so/sx vibe to them. Add to that a strong 2 fix? <-And it's all over...Done.

    ^^None of this is why I will personally refrain from assigning to you an order of variants. I refrain because I sense something in you that has not yet come to the surface/fruition. You are brilliant, thoughtful and extraordinarily authentic. You have also been pampered your entire life by an ENFJ mom. There's a power in you that you have not yet claimed <-and until that happens I can't tell you what that is or who you are.

  4. #34
    untitled Chanaynay's Avatar
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    Hell, might as well do these while I'm trying to put off this damn paper.

    Quote Originally Posted by skylights View Post
    You seem so so/sx to me. Totally, totally personifying it. So/sx is fiery and attachy and "spark"ing too.
    All true. I'm glad I could personify it. I feel like sometimes it gives me a quality that keeps people on their toes. You know, warm and soft but with a raging fire inside.

    Some people might remember that I identified as sx/so for a while. I think especially being a head type with a strong emotional core can make it seem like the social-and-head type combo is not deep enough or passionate enough. But all ENFPs are going to be deep and passionate on some level, it's just a matter of how much and where it manifests.
    Yeah, I think your feedback is very useful especially since we both went through the sx/so -> so/sx typing journey. And yes, the passion in me is probably not as much related to instincts as I think and more just a natural part of me. I'm sure all the F types have a desire for union stemming from the need for emotional satiation, so maybe it's just me being an F haha.

    This is a hard one for me because I'd choose the bolded. "Networking" seems to often be a headache to all variant types minus so/sp, who seems to have a native facility with it, and even then e4 so/sp wouldn't be included. I think if Chay's like me, and he's fairly balanced so-sx, then it can be really hard to separate the fire (sexual) from the warmth (social).
    Yeah, networking seems really monotonous to me. Sometimes I wonder if I really am social-dom sometimes because of how often I forget to check in with people, see how they're doing via networking, etc. And separating it is a struggle, like you said, especially when both levels of so and sx are very high. I actually took an instincts test recently and both were above 66% and sp was just...in the trash. so and sx can have a desire for interaction and union as well, making matters worse.

    Starry was the one who pointed out to me how my directionality always goes to universals, which can be a Ne thing too but she observed (I hope I'm wording this correctly Starry) how I'd draw a feeling or principle from a one-on-one thing into a bigger-social-picture thing, and that was the first hint to me that I might not in fact be sx/so.
    Hmm, sometimes I feel like I have really socially oblivious moments too as well. I'll just do something totally without consideration of your standard social priorities and just kinda go for it. But then other times I do think about how things will play out socially and it eats me away to no end. But maybe this is being Fi + so-dom rather than Fe + so-dom, where Fe takes other people/the environment into consideration more by nature.

    As it turns out for me, being Social-first was something I wasn't aware of because (much like Ne dominance) it was so "native" to me that I didn't even realize I was focusing on it. I assumed everyone processed this way - being highly aware of how people are feeling during interpersonal interactions, noticing the minute cues that people give and respond to in interpersonal interaction, being concerned about the wellbeing of all people involved (seeking to maximize each individual's comfort while minimizing overall discomfort), feeling a connection with every person I encounter, fluidly transitioning to interaction with one person to another, seeking a secure position in a group (this is probably a soc-6 thing), very easily seeing the impact of reputation, and so on. I didn't realize I was thinking about this differently than anyone else.
    Hmm, yes all this I agree with. I actually don't take into consideration the well-being of others as much, but maybe this is 6w7 vs 7w6. On the social 6 thing you mentioned, even I like to feel secure with the people I have relationships with. Although I do not like having a sense of "belonging" to anyone, which could be the difference? In that sense, I like to maintain my freedom as much as possible. I do actively seek a significant other I can have that feeling of "belonging" for, but even then I usually get paranoia over losing my freedom if I begin to second guess the guy.

    On the other hand, the sx-type fire has always been palpable and recognizable, the heart-yearning has always been deep and tangible, the melancholic euphoria has always been something that can "color" life beautiful and meaningful and tragic. And I have discovered that even in a relationship there is always going to be this fiery, yearning, melancholy part of me.
    Agree wholeheartedly!!

    I guess the thing that clinches it for me is that when push comes to shove, I believe it's true that I'm Social first. I see Social thoughts and behaviors as a sort of duty (I'm sure this is a very 6 way of putting it) that I have to my fellow beings. Sexual puts beauty and life into the world, but in my mind it comes second, like I have a responsibility to Life and the world to be interconnected and to have a positive impact first and then I can delve into the magic and beauty of it all. I feel like Life and the world gifted this existence to me, and it's my responsibility to give back accordingly. It's not a burden, though, it just feels part and parcel to existence.
    This, however, I don't seem to relate to at all. I really don't feel a sense of duty towards my fellow human beings. After I make connections with people, then I might feel a small sense of obligation towards them to maintain good emotions between us. But I don't really feel a responsibility to give back to my community at all. Unless that sense of "giving back" you're talking about is received just by participating in social events, then yes. I love hanging out with people, going out, and doing things. In that sense, my being there is itself by contribution (this is very 2ish of me to say hehe). But otherwise, I don't really feel a sense of responsibility. And when I do wanna do the things I listed above, it's not out of a feeling of responsibility - it's just out of a desire to feel both included and fulfilled.

    And I feel a very instinctual (finally this term makes sense) pull towards each and every person, like I'm connected to everyone on an individual basis. It would seem more Sexual - and I long thought it was - except the pull is there with everyone, and it's more about the love inside everyone than it is about each person. It's about connecting with the universal Love within them, I think, something like that. I find it easy to interact with people (this is maybe very NF and Fi?) because I have always assumed and trusted there's a place inside them that lights up like the place inside me, and it's always been true. It's just a matter of figuring out what lights them up. Sx people light up more quickly and clearly, and for that reason they can be very appealing, but I personally also have a penchant for "cracking" the sx-lasters.
    This, though, is a solid yes from me. In my experience, the harder it is to "crack" someone the more rewarding it is when I do really. People that are too easy I've found to be too boring, then I kinda just let them go as terrible as it sounds haha oops.

    Quote Originally Posted by Amargith View Post
    ^ for that matter, compare me and skylights and account for 4 vs 6 and your own 7 and you should be able to tell who you relate to more.
    Hmm, I relate to both in different circumstances. Does that make sense? But more often, it's probably sky that I relate to. Although I do consider myself easier to get to "react" than her, and also a bit more confrontational in general. The reasons for that, though, I haven't figured out yet.

    Quote Originally Posted by Starry View Post
    Okay, you know, you actually did tell me that Chan and for whatever reason it didn't connect in my mind. Had that occurred haha I would have told you *I personally* would not use Naranjo's social 7 description as a determining factor in this regard (yes, I think he's a genius in many respects and yet there's something very off with his take on the social 7 imo. He also correlated e7 with INTJ if that helps you in anyway haha.)
    Oh god, yeah I think I'm just gonna throw his description to the side for now then... E7 and INTJ? Nuh uh, not in my house (usually)!

    Still, after a great deal of thought am I ready to slam down the gavel on so/sx for you? I can't say that I am (we've talked about how differently I "do the enneagram" ) I don't think it's as cut and dry with you as it is for others. I do not look past the fact there are many features to your personality that will look and vibe 'social dominance' even if it could somehow be scientifically proven this is not the case. All ENFP e7s...especially when they are young and the world is new...will have a so/sx vibe to them. Add to that a strong 2 fix? <-And it's all over...Done.
    The last sentiment is definitely true.

    ^^None of this is why I will personally refrain from assigning to you an order of variants. I refrain because I sense something in you that has not yet come to the surface/fruition. You are brilliant, thoughtful and extraordinarily authentic. You have also been pampered your entire life by an ENFJ mom. There's a power in you that you have not yet claimed <-and until that happens I can't tell you what that is or who you are.
    This part is what reminded me to come to this thread today and reply, though. Would you mind explaining this in detail? The power in me I have not yet claimed? I'm confused as to what it means, but I do understand what you mean after being guided through life the whole time by my mom, being catered to without even having to ask, that my more independent side that enjoys flexing it's muscles (and also threw a bitch fit whenever my mom tried doing me favors unwarranted) is finally starting to show.
    7w6 - 2w3 - 8w7 sx/so


  5. #35
    untitled Chanaynay's Avatar
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    @Starry...I know ENFPs hate being called upon to respond to things that a great amount of effort to respond to...but your last post is still running through my mind and I want answers. haha
    7w6 - 2w3 - 8w7 sx/so


  6. #36
    Undisciplined Starry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Beyonce View Post
    @Starry...I know ENFPs hate being called upon to respond to things that a great amount of effort to respond to...but your last post is still running through my mind and I want answers. haha
    God damn it I've got to answer this too? Hold on. *super massive sigh*

  7. #37
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    sx/so

    next

  8. #38
    untitled Chanaynay's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by superunknown View Post
    sx/so

    next
    fffffffffffffffFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
    7w6 - 2w3 - 8w7 sx/so


  9. #39
    Undisciplined Starry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Beyonce View Post
    This part is what reminded me to come to this thread today and reply, though. Would you mind explaining this in detail? The power in me I have not yet claimed? I'm confused as to what it means, but I do understand what you mean after being guided through life the whole time by my mom, being catered to without even having to ask, that my more independent side that enjoys flexing it's muscles (and also threw a bitch fit whenever my mom tried doing me favors unwarranted) is finally starting to show.

    Regardless of who you relate to (whatever "Bey")... I, possessing the gift of hindsight...haha that doesn't make sense which appeals to me... I see aspects of myself in you when I was your age. Like I've told you I feel you are a hundred times brighter and more self aware than I was but perhaps that's just an inaccurate self-perception. Every once and a while I'll stumble across say...something I've written in the past and I don't remember having known those things at that time haha (seriously though...I'll be like wtf? If I knew that then why didn't I....?) <-But it's one thing to rationally understand something and to be able to intellectually discuss it...and another to have a piece of wisdom infiltrate every cell because you didn't just read about it....you lived it. I wonder how you will change as your Life brings new experiences to your door.


    I'm not sure if your father was part of your life...but I know what it's like to have an ENFJ Mom. Granted, for me, being raised by two completely insane iNtuitives comes with a whole different set of challenges...but there's no mystery in my mind as to how my parents created an ENFP 7. EVERYTHING was handled for me...prior to me even knowing it needed to be done. I wasn't tested in the same ways other normal developing young people are. All I had to do was think, dream, remain cheerful (personal preference..."let the laying Fe & Te lie" is what I always say) and have *fun*

    How much of you is still buried due to similar circumstance? I really don't know... but I feel something's there. Instincts are a challenge to determine until all cards are on the table and I sense you have one more card to play.

  10. #40
    this is my winter song EJCC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Starry View Post
    "let the laying Fe & Te lie" is what I always say
    TE NEVER SLEEPS!

    ~ g e t f e s t i v e ! ~


    EJCC: "The Big Questions in my life right now: 1) What am I willing to live with? 2) What do I have to live with? 3) What can I change for the better?"
    Coriolis: "Is that the ESTJ Serenity Prayer?"



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