Alright, maybe I'm not that much of a n00b, knowing that I'm a little familiar with the basis of the Jungian system. It's funny...unlike most people, I have never taken an MBTI test. The results are way too static IMO.
Very basic summary--I am a 15 year old male in his freshman year of high school. Sometimes I feel like an old soul trapped in a boyish body. I cannot describe myself in one sentence; the intricacies of my mind and my artificial existence have leaped from different areas in which those areas just cannot be accurately summarized. Maybe I just did describe myself in one sentence, meh.
Childhood -- I was an odd child early on. I was tested positive for ADHD, unsurprisingly because I was extremely hyperactive up until age 8. After the hyperphase, my imagination grew considerably, and I started living in my own fantasy worlds. Imagined what it would be like if my favorite characters from cartoons were real. Made my own movies and drew outlines for major motion pictures. I also held strong interests occasionally, including video gaming, writing comic books/stories and one of my biggest interests, storm chasing (which developed into a more scientifically oriented interest in meteorology later on in my teens).
Up until age 10, my social skills and interests in socialization were pretty passive and I had a really naive nature. Way back in the day, like preschool, I apparently never gave thought to socialization. Maybe it was because I apparently learned how to read at like, age 3 (talk about mystic, not really). Later on, I started to feel loneliness on occasion, but was too deep in my fantasy worlds (or in the grip of ADHD, too busy cramming my face into piles of shit) to make an effort to socialize with people available. I did make some friends but they were only friends I was interested in, and those "friends" never were really my friends after all. I was transported to private school later on and actually started making friends, and being more comfortable with school (which I always naturally detested for some weird reason, maybe I hated separation at a young age). I was usually very quiet in class, but for an interesting reason...I feared getting in trouble. I hated getting in trouble because I knew a teacher would call me out on it, and for some reason I took it harshly. I was emotionally weak, and overly passive. I was afraid I would break in front of everyone. I dreaded the idea of that.
Funniest thing about this period of my life, I was all about delving into my interests and analyzing my perceptions of my imagination, and never engaged in my emotions. From what I can recall, I don't think I even realized I had emotions, and if I did, I would blow them out of proportion. Maybe ADHD triggered some meltdowns, I don't know. I remember I hit my mom a few times as a toddler. I'm just glad I wasn't put in a cage.
Teenhood--after flirting with my ADHD sides for the next two years (more of the PI variant) cramming myself into lalaland, one year, I think four years back, I got a laptop for christmas. I think I was 12 years old that year. (Just checked the history vault, yep, I was 12.) There, I found the glorious wonder called the "internet". A haven full of personal stories of how the "real world" operates. Browsing this database combined with rough and at times, abusive family ties, threw me into a different section of life. A different section of life, that made me see things differently. Not just seeing things differently, but feeling things differently. A part of me was scared about the "real world" and my journey in it. I was discovering new things about myself. It was a huge internal paradigm shift. But there were positive parts as well. I developed a small, but tight core of friends. This core helped me get through this rough period. My interests started expanding, including some forms of biology, psychology, computers and networking (I might get a degree/certification) cooking, and playing music (guitar&drums, the latter which I am really good at!). I overcame my stupid little fear of getting into "trouble" and opened up in class.
The following years my loneliness deepened, as a part of me became fascinated with the emotions of feeling infatuation and romance. I wanted to experience these emotions with someone and more importantly with someone I was attracted to. It's something that I still struggle with today, to a lesser degree, but my feelings can still obsess over this perception of love. Sometimes I'm ashamed of it. I rarely talk about it. However, I feel like the only area where I can confidently express my emotions is in an ideal relationship.
Today--I'm comfortable with the way things are, yet still longing for something more, and can't deny there have been some major missed opportunities. I used to plan my life out as a kid, however now I'm trying to just go with the flow. Though I still feel like I'm on some kind of quest.
Other shit about "myself":
*I have a tendency to delve deep into anything I perceive as interesting. Sometimes it's just enough to satisfy my curiosity, other times it's a part of me nagging for another occupation/hobby, or I'm just searching for fodder so I can make fun of the world's loose cracks. I got into baseball after watching my home team win the world series, and end up analyzing the fuck out of hardcore baseball statistics and looking at how physics and science affect baseball pitches. I guess I'm just a brainy little fuck.
*Around my core of friends or people I find interesting, I can actually be pretty outgoing and humorous. However, once I'm in my head I can become very quiet, monotone, and seem very calculating. I guess it usually depended on the day. My oddball middle school teacher compared me to to the left and right sides of the brain, claiming that I had a bi-personality (play on bi-polar).
*I have come to appreciate the little things in life, like the homemade big macs that I finally made last night, and this laptop I am typing on that I didn't pay for.
*I am very sarcastic/ironic and somewhat cynical in my sense of humor. A true comedic black heart. I fucking adore people like George Carlin and Bill Hicks, people making fun of the idiocies of life. Also props to people like Louis CK and the Opie and Anthony show/podcast. They have been inspirations to my comedic side and were a breath of fresh air during my rough period of the ages 13-14.
When I'm joking around, I go with the flow and it's really random/associative thinking as in one thing may lead to the next. However every part of my humor must actually make sense or be logically accurate.
*I have a really weird perception system. I'm still having trouble explaining it. It's like my imagination is a library of internal environments. I can get pretty sentimental here.
Well, I think that's it. Enneagram sounds pretty cool too. Okay, analyse away!