deftones
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okay consider ENTP then
But I don't output all of it! I usually think things through to make sure if they make sense first.
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n00b to MBTI/Help This Teenage Dirtbag Out with Their Type
- Thread starter deftones
- Start date
But I don't output all of it! I usually think things through to make sure if they make sense first.
BlackCat
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I think every human being does this... unless they have something legitimately wrong with them. lol
Mal12345
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My oldest step-daughter.
yeghor
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I don't...
infinite
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You can think of something, a word etc faster than speak it aloud anyway.
infinite
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Why? Pretty obvious really. I re-read your first post in this thread and I'm actually thinking it's possible you're INTP > ENTP
These parts seem pretty strongly Ti > Fe:
Of course you know yourself best. If you're considering something else e.g. INTJ, then you know best if your way of thinking resembles that type more.
deftones
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Why? Pretty obvious really. I re-read your first post in this thread and I'm actually thinking it's possible you're INTP > ENTP
These parts seem pretty strongly Ti > Fe:
Of course you know yourself best. If you're considering something else e.g. INTJ, then you know best if your way of thinking resembles that type more.
I looked at the INFP function stack and while I'm likely not the quintessential type, some things seem to strike a chord. Strong personal values but they are flexible and only revolve around myself and my life, rather than opinions or personal protocols. E.g. I will stop at nothing to achieve my goals, taking a near-all-or-nothing approach. It sounds like Fi to me. Especially Fi-Ne. I tend to notice positive or negative traits in people and imagine what they could be in the future, which sounds Fi-Ne (or Ni, but my N doesn't seem to hone in that sudden) Also I get sentimental over foggy childhood memories, and tend to hold appreciation dear. Sounds Fi-Si. But I just started reading about it.
deftones
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What does that have to do with anything?
deftones
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I cranked out two questionnaires on perc, I'd thought I'd bring them here as well since I basically posted the same thread here
MBTI
1. Is there anything that may affect the way you answer the questions? For example, a stressful time, mental illness, medications, special life circumstances? Other useful information includes sex, age, and current state of mind.
Not really, besides heavy bits of depression here and there. I am male, 15 years and 11 months old (perhaps a little too young for typology), and longing for something more, yet content.
2. Study these two images here and here. Which one do you prefer and why? How would you describe it?
Photo 1: It's a close up shot of the tide rushing in on the beach, and it looks like there's a slight aura developing, which leads me to think this may be a wintertime photo. Not much else to describe about this photo. It does trigger a craving for a beach run.
Photo 2: A woman is breaking apart either stromboli or a croissant, which I think is more likely to be croissant, because if it was not, then why the hell would there be a mug of coffee right next to her dish? Personally I wouldn't enjoy coffee with a hearty dish like stromboli, the two elements really aren't on the same food wavelength. But that's just me. I like the atmosphere of the photo, looks nice and relaxing, very coffeehouse-ish and gives me an indie vibe. The randomness of how the photo was taken also gives me the impression the person taking the photo was a foodie/blogger mainly because I wouldn't expect a more professional photographer taking a picture of someone preparing their food, very heat-of-the-moment. I'd expect it to be a more fixed photo if that was the case.
As far as what photo I prefer, I guess #1 mainly because it triggers memories of my heavy weather and atmospheric fascination as a kid. Good times.
3. Please describe yourself as a person if you were to introduce yourself to someone else like in a cover letter. What kind of person are you and why?
Fuck, this is a tough one because I'm the type of person that will introduce myself in different variations depending on my state of mind, and the types of patterns flowing through my head. I'd usually be inclined to just say "Well, how about you get to know me yourself, hah." if someone asked me in a casual situation because I feel like it ruins the purpose in a way. But I also have to take into account how the person would feel about that response, I don't want to offend someone I know nothing about. But in a more structured sense:
"I am a 15 year old male in his freshman year of high school. Sometimes I feel like an old soul trapped in a boyish body. I cannot describe myself in one sentence; the intricacies of my mind and my artificial existence have leaped from different areas in which those areas just cannot be accurately summarized. Maybe I just did describe myself in one sentence, meh."
I really think this is the most accurate way of describing myself, especially since it really ties into how I started to answer this question, above. And yeah, this was a quote from my OP.
4. What kind of person would you LIKE to be? Why? What kind of person would you NOT want to be? Why?
I've really gotten to know myself and have discovered my values and principles over the past three years. I have these abstract and vague transmutations that pop up in my head, depicting the future, including possible variations of myself. I've always had that, come to think of it. I feel like certain things actually define me, and in a way, they make me feel proud. I don't like expressing myself blatantly, I prefer the subtle way of self-expression. But with that aside:
Like: Musical, intellectual/insightful, intuitive, observationally humorous, rational, multi-talented, calm and collected, mentally engaged.
Dislike: Hypocritical, ignorant, shallow, boring, lacking depth, hot-tempered/on-edge, anxious, depressive, incompetent, dysfunctional.
5. Do you think there are any differences to how you described yourself and how people actually perceive you? How do you think others would describe you? If there are any discrepancies between these two that are you are aware of; do you know why exactly that is?
You see, questions like these are tough because from person to person, there is such a broad perspective on yourself. My closest friends think I'm intelligent and hilarious, which is usually boiled down to the term "chill" (synonym of "cool" for those who are foreign to the term). But to answer the question, yes, in a way there is a difference. That difference being that there is a lot more than what I am showing, at the surface. The abstract (what's going on in my mind) contains so many mechanisms and patterns that ultimately come from some little perspective, perception, or feeling, which blossoms over time. I think some friends misunderstand where I'm coming from sometimes with my sense of humor, for example, because they think I'm, for example, making fun of someone that I don't like for saying something totally stupid, and me picking apart the numerous inconsistencies of their statement, is because I'm just being a sarcastic asshole. And that's sometimes true, but sometimes I get so frustrated as to why these people say these things, how they can have such shallow reasoning, or be so dispassionate, or condescending, whatever. It's pure cynicism, filtered through a cunning sarcasm desiring to rip apart every inconsistency through a flavor of comedic irritation.
To answer the question a little more specifically, people usually find me interesting because they think I seem to have a much deeper and more thoughtful perspective, usually on something that I spend a lot of time thinking about. I bring that up because my a few of my interests are ones that are a little more offbeat compared to most people's my age. And I'd generally agree with them, but sometimes I find that I'll say something that just seems like common sense to me, and they go, "Wow, that's actually so true!".
I don't really think that there really are many discrepancies, only that people might not see everything that's going on in the surface. People usually capture my essence as a sarcastic, intellectual, and perceptive person and I think they tend to form a personality of me in their head (opinion) that doesn't capture all of me. Sometimes I might need time to recharge at school to immerse myself in my thoughts, feelings and ideas, and people will be like "You okay, dude?". However, I've gotten a lot better at overall expression and become pretty damn assertive compared to my generally passive child-form.
6. What in life do you find to be of importance? Why? If you are unsure you can always take the Value Test and post the results here. Do note that it helps if you narrow it down to 20 or ideally 10 values as suggested at stage 2.
Really think this ties into how I answered question #4 in quite a few ways. I think this question should be explained through myself, as in, what I want in my life. I just don't want to be stuck in a rut. I want adventure, but peace. I value mentally engaged activities, which include the activities that are ignorantly tied to the burdens of the world, like video games, but I also like chasing storms, and playing music, and creativity, and working out patterns internally and externally (but usually internally, especially at first). I also really like the idea of an exhilarating and adventurous romance with someone. But most importantly, living up to my standards, which can be high. I just don't want to settle for something, just because it's hard to attain it. That also feels like a sign of weakness. This is all what's important for me.
Objectively speaking, there's really nothing. Everything is subjective, in fact. I really think this is a question people should answer deeply themselves. Of course I could speak objectively in terms of what I would want in society and the like, but I won't hold it to people too deeply. I know I can't change the world. That's why I think most movements and the like are a waste of time, generally speaking.
7. How do you react to new situations in your life? Can you describe an event in your life where you were in an unknown situation? How did you deal with it?
As a kid, if it struck a negative chord, I had a tendency to break down and cry like a little bitch, in the most extreme of situations. Though, I'd say I get a generalized anxiety where I fear certain patterns to come to life and swallow me whole. One example that I'll give that I also gave in the OP:
"after flirting with my ADHD sides for the next two years (more of the PI variant) cramming myself into lalaland, one year, I think four years back, I got a laptop for christmas. I think I was 12 years old that year. (Just checked the history vault, yep, I was 12.) There, I found the glorious wonder called the "internet". A haven full of personal stories of how the "real world" operates. Browsing this database combined with rough and at times, abusive family ties, threw me into a different section of life. A different section of life, that made me see things differently. Not just seeing things differently, but feeling things differently. A part of me was scared about the "real world" and my journey in it. I was discovering new things about myself. It was a huge internal paradigm shift."
Basically, I was entering puberty, experiencing increasing turbulence in my family life, was headed towards a new school environment in "middle school", and was taking in (perhaps too literally and deeply) multiple insights of "the real world" through advanced pages of cache called "the internet", all at once. Looking back, it looked and felt like my childhood was being ripped right out of my life, much like one rips out weeds to make room for new flowers to bloom. This new paradigm of my life came at me so suddenly I was starting to develop these new perspectives and philosophies which sometimes scared the shit out of me, and made me afraid of life in a lot of ways. Combined with everything else, it really through me into a depression. However, it was also positive in a sense, since it minimized my previous worries which allowed me to start saying "fuck it", and started expressing myself better at school, and stopped caring about what teachers thought. And started getting really good at pointing out the ironies and inconsistencies of many things. And started to express more useful creativity.
8. Please describe yourself when you are in a stressful situation. How do you act and why? Real life experiences are welcome.
My world forms a capping inversion. My energy goes into a loop, and I have to analyze the same shit over and over again until I'm damn sure about what the fuck is going on. My creativity is suppressed. I think this actually could have been a lot worse, in terms of consistency. I've only flirted with this through brief periods of my life over the past three years, but new experiences and friends have brought me back after a while. But damn it was weird. I stay in my room and roam around certain patterns in my head that fascinate me emotionally. My choice of music and internet browsing usually match these patterns, which do add insult to injury. Though, I have been starting to fear change because I worry these internal patterns will start up again, even more aggressively because of my increased awareness.
9. Please describe yourself when you are in an enjoyable situation. How do you act and why? Real life experiences are welcome.
Depends on the situation. Having a good conversation with friends, I feel like my mind is "training" and searching for perspectives in every angle so I can come up with things to say, but I'm generally amused, internally and externally. When alone, observing, I feel at peace, inspired, creative, and usually become fascinated with my perceptions. I have been finding myself comparing a certain element to another more often, which is usually for self-amusement. I guess in general, I feel like my mind and body are branching out. Almost longing for an increased intensity, sometimes. Or just want to take the whole situation in and internalize the fuck out of it, so I can attempt to relive it whenever I encounter a similar situation. Which reminds me how much I love the philosophy "enjoy the little things in life, for one day, they will become the big things."
10. Describe your relationship to socialization. How do you perceive one-on-one interaction? How do you perceive group interaction?
I'm usually fine in group situations (if I don't feel overly drowned out), but I prefer depth over breadth. 1o1 is good because I feel like it allows a deeper and clearer understanding to come through on both ends, yet group is a lot more dynamic. It's almost like serial vs parallel cabling. I could have better comparisons in regards to this, but that's the only one I can pick out at the moment.
11. Describe your relationship to society. What are the elements of it you hold important or unimportant (e.g. social norms, values, customs, traditions)? How do you see people as a whole?
Yeah, there are a million different dynamics surrounding this but the funny thing is, there doesn't have to be that many...well if you're an ignorant fuck, like a certain media anchor or the like. I feel like society is boiled down to many definitions which become very black and white, and that's funny because that's what society does in general. Society defines society. We have so many people saying "I don't want to be 'normal', that's fucking stupid!" and then go on Facebook and post photos of themselves emitting awkward facial expressions and such, but the thing they don't realize is, that eventually becomes "normal". It's kind of shallow, to me. I think it stems from an insecurity of previous generations values in an attempt to rebel against them, which ultimately forms new values, rinse and repeat. I feel like everything is just being dragged around like an increasing chain of random elements being dragged around by a truck.
I question and disregard certain external values internally, but sometimes I have no choice but to conform because I feel like it will get me into deeper shit in the long run and just decide to put up with it. I also go by "damned if you do, damned if you don't" quite a bit. Yeah certain things like social media are probably the devil, but it's pointless to rebel against things that become the mean, because it generally becomes inconvenient.
In general, society really sucks but there are also certain elements that can be refreshing. Like the observationally comedic environment, and the passionate people that create their own environments by becoming magnets that pull their values into one, shaping their lives. The people that give a fuck but don't at the same time, aka, knowing the line of caring too much, or when it's necessary.
And yes....I somehow answered this question backwards. Goes to show you how scatterbrained I can be.
12. Describe your relationship to authority. How do you perceive authority? What does it mean to you, and how do you deal with it?
I guess I like the idea of authority but goddamn it, most people just don't know how to execute it. Sometimes certain things just don't make any sense to me, even things that I know will never be accepted as a whole in society. Like how I think mental maturity trumps physical age when it comes to certain laws, like how old you have to be to consume alcohol and the like. And I strongly disagree with the idea of enforcing obedience even when the obedience is no longer necessary or relevant. I have an increasingly turbulent relationship with my mom, because I feel like she has become more authoritative yet often unnecessarily, since becoming the only parent over the last year or so has been stressful for her. I just wish people would chill the fuck out and not be so black and white and inflexible sometimes. Yeah, black and white authority is really fucking stupid. That's something that's really driving society downhill.
13. Describe your relationship to order and chaos. What do order and chaos mean to you? How do they manifest in your daily life?
I'm not sure what this means, but unless I think it's necessary to structure an idea or creation, order doesn't mean much. Though I often feel the need to make up my mind just because I find it satisfying somehow. It's like there's a judge somewhere scrambling for order in my mind, that pops out on occasion.
14. What is it that you fear in life? Why? How does this fear manifest to you both in how you think and how you act?
Not being able to accomplish what I set out to. Being incompetent by my standards, societies too but not really what people generally think but the basic fundamentals of life. I've never had a relationship before and it's something that my feeling faculty inside of me is hungry for. But I sometimes feel out of place. I don't want to fall short of my goals. I daydream a lot and have very random scenarios that pop up in my head, and even though it can be very unknown and out of the realm of possibility, I think about what my life would be like if I had some type of developmental disorder/disability like schizophrenia or Autism/Asperger's. I know I've been through a lot of shit but if I really did have something like one of these, which is always possible, and was sure that it was preventing me from reaching my goals, in the most extreme cases I might really be inclined to kill myself because of it. Not just because of the likelihood of not being able to live the way I want to, but also because it feels like a violation of my identity, something that I struggle to accept. Because I have a perception in mind of what these disabilities are, formulated by research and empirical evidence of how these disorders and disabilities manifest in people. I become a part of that perception somehow, and that wrecks me. I don't know but I wonder about it, and know that people discover parts of themselves that they never would have anticipated. I sometimes worry this will happen someday.
However, I wouldn't say it has much influence over my main judgements.
15. What is it that you desire in life? What do you strive to achieve? Why? Where do you think these drives and desires stem from or are inspired by?
I think I've kind of answered this question through bits of pieces of my answers here, so far. I guess I could reiterate. Musical talent, creative talent, learning new things, interesting career (actually feel like I'm starting to rebel against the nine-to-five/ratrace wavelength), romantic relationship and watching it grow from there, raise a family, and surrounding myself in calm, euphoric, fascinating yet nostalgic environments. Traveling too. Desired achievements come from all of these things as well. I'm not entirely sure where these stem from, though I feel like they stem from passionate feelings of fascination.
16. a) What activities energize you most? b) What activities drain you most? Why?
a) Being mentally engaged in anything I'm occupied in. Like playing music, or cooking, or reading up on something I'm interested in. Contemplating. Oh, this is something I love to immerse myself in because I feel like I'm consciously aware of every part of me (mainly my mind) branching out. Socializing too, but it energizes my social creativeness which I find fascinating.
b) Working on or occupying something that I just don't really give a fuck about. Oddly enough, finishing a socialization session. I think this is because my mind is settling down from branching out and it just flows through my body.
17. Why do you want to know your type? What type do you think you are? Why this/these type(s)? Is there a type that appeals to you, to your self-perception, that you would like to be? Why? If you know your enneagram, please post this here. If you have done any online function tests such as the Keys2Cognition, it helps if you post these results here as well.
Yeah, I don't really know. I just started researching this on and off, about six or seven months ago, and it really fascinated me because it led me to organize the multiple systems of someone's judgement and perception. If I thought I was a certain type, I most likely would have not mentioned anyone in this thread. I have had fond thoughts of being a certain type early on, but as I got deeper into the theory, I realized they were all bullshit generalizations for the most part.
18. Finally, is there something else you find to be of importance you want to add about yourself you think might be of relevance when helping to type you?
Not really. Anyone who reads this, feel free to ask me any questions.
MBTI
1. Is there anything that may affect the way you answer the questions? For example, a stressful time, mental illness, medications, special life circumstances? Other useful information includes sex, age, and current state of mind.
Not really, besides heavy bits of depression here and there. I am male, 15 years and 11 months old (perhaps a little too young for typology), and longing for something more, yet content.
2. Study these two images here and here. Which one do you prefer and why? How would you describe it?
Photo 1: It's a close up shot of the tide rushing in on the beach, and it looks like there's a slight aura developing, which leads me to think this may be a wintertime photo. Not much else to describe about this photo. It does trigger a craving for a beach run.
Photo 2: A woman is breaking apart either stromboli or a croissant, which I think is more likely to be croissant, because if it was not, then why the hell would there be a mug of coffee right next to her dish? Personally I wouldn't enjoy coffee with a hearty dish like stromboli, the two elements really aren't on the same food wavelength. But that's just me. I like the atmosphere of the photo, looks nice and relaxing, very coffeehouse-ish and gives me an indie vibe. The randomness of how the photo was taken also gives me the impression the person taking the photo was a foodie/blogger mainly because I wouldn't expect a more professional photographer taking a picture of someone preparing their food, very heat-of-the-moment. I'd expect it to be a more fixed photo if that was the case.
As far as what photo I prefer, I guess #1 mainly because it triggers memories of my heavy weather and atmospheric fascination as a kid. Good times.
3. Please describe yourself as a person if you were to introduce yourself to someone else like in a cover letter. What kind of person are you and why?
Fuck, this is a tough one because I'm the type of person that will introduce myself in different variations depending on my state of mind, and the types of patterns flowing through my head. I'd usually be inclined to just say "Well, how about you get to know me yourself, hah." if someone asked me in a casual situation because I feel like it ruins the purpose in a way. But I also have to take into account how the person would feel about that response, I don't want to offend someone I know nothing about. But in a more structured sense:
"I am a 15 year old male in his freshman year of high school. Sometimes I feel like an old soul trapped in a boyish body. I cannot describe myself in one sentence; the intricacies of my mind and my artificial existence have leaped from different areas in which those areas just cannot be accurately summarized. Maybe I just did describe myself in one sentence, meh."
I really think this is the most accurate way of describing myself, especially since it really ties into how I started to answer this question, above. And yeah, this was a quote from my OP.
4. What kind of person would you LIKE to be? Why? What kind of person would you NOT want to be? Why?
I've really gotten to know myself and have discovered my values and principles over the past three years. I have these abstract and vague transmutations that pop up in my head, depicting the future, including possible variations of myself. I've always had that, come to think of it. I feel like certain things actually define me, and in a way, they make me feel proud. I don't like expressing myself blatantly, I prefer the subtle way of self-expression. But with that aside:
Like: Musical, intellectual/insightful, intuitive, observationally humorous, rational, multi-talented, calm and collected, mentally engaged.
Dislike: Hypocritical, ignorant, shallow, boring, lacking depth, hot-tempered/on-edge, anxious, depressive, incompetent, dysfunctional.
5. Do you think there are any differences to how you described yourself and how people actually perceive you? How do you think others would describe you? If there are any discrepancies between these two that are you are aware of; do you know why exactly that is?
You see, questions like these are tough because from person to person, there is such a broad perspective on yourself. My closest friends think I'm intelligent and hilarious, which is usually boiled down to the term "chill" (synonym of "cool" for those who are foreign to the term). But to answer the question, yes, in a way there is a difference. That difference being that there is a lot more than what I am showing, at the surface. The abstract (what's going on in my mind) contains so many mechanisms and patterns that ultimately come from some little perspective, perception, or feeling, which blossoms over time. I think some friends misunderstand where I'm coming from sometimes with my sense of humor, for example, because they think I'm, for example, making fun of someone that I don't like for saying something totally stupid, and me picking apart the numerous inconsistencies of their statement, is because I'm just being a sarcastic asshole. And that's sometimes true, but sometimes I get so frustrated as to why these people say these things, how they can have such shallow reasoning, or be so dispassionate, or condescending, whatever. It's pure cynicism, filtered through a cunning sarcasm desiring to rip apart every inconsistency through a flavor of comedic irritation.
To answer the question a little more specifically, people usually find me interesting because they think I seem to have a much deeper and more thoughtful perspective, usually on something that I spend a lot of time thinking about. I bring that up because my a few of my interests are ones that are a little more offbeat compared to most people's my age. And I'd generally agree with them, but sometimes I find that I'll say something that just seems like common sense to me, and they go, "Wow, that's actually so true!".
I don't really think that there really are many discrepancies, only that people might not see everything that's going on in the surface. People usually capture my essence as a sarcastic, intellectual, and perceptive person and I think they tend to form a personality of me in their head (opinion) that doesn't capture all of me. Sometimes I might need time to recharge at school to immerse myself in my thoughts, feelings and ideas, and people will be like "You okay, dude?". However, I've gotten a lot better at overall expression and become pretty damn assertive compared to my generally passive child-form.
6. What in life do you find to be of importance? Why? If you are unsure you can always take the Value Test and post the results here. Do note that it helps if you narrow it down to 20 or ideally 10 values as suggested at stage 2.
Really think this ties into how I answered question #4 in quite a few ways. I think this question should be explained through myself, as in, what I want in my life. I just don't want to be stuck in a rut. I want adventure, but peace. I value mentally engaged activities, which include the activities that are ignorantly tied to the burdens of the world, like video games, but I also like chasing storms, and playing music, and creativity, and working out patterns internally and externally (but usually internally, especially at first). I also really like the idea of an exhilarating and adventurous romance with someone. But most importantly, living up to my standards, which can be high. I just don't want to settle for something, just because it's hard to attain it. That also feels like a sign of weakness. This is all what's important for me.
Objectively speaking, there's really nothing. Everything is subjective, in fact. I really think this is a question people should answer deeply themselves. Of course I could speak objectively in terms of what I would want in society and the like, but I won't hold it to people too deeply. I know I can't change the world. That's why I think most movements and the like are a waste of time, generally speaking.
7. How do you react to new situations in your life? Can you describe an event in your life where you were in an unknown situation? How did you deal with it?
As a kid, if it struck a negative chord, I had a tendency to break down and cry like a little bitch, in the most extreme of situations. Though, I'd say I get a generalized anxiety where I fear certain patterns to come to life and swallow me whole. One example that I'll give that I also gave in the OP:
"after flirting with my ADHD sides for the next two years (more of the PI variant) cramming myself into lalaland, one year, I think four years back, I got a laptop for christmas. I think I was 12 years old that year. (Just checked the history vault, yep, I was 12.) There, I found the glorious wonder called the "internet". A haven full of personal stories of how the "real world" operates. Browsing this database combined with rough and at times, abusive family ties, threw me into a different section of life. A different section of life, that made me see things differently. Not just seeing things differently, but feeling things differently. A part of me was scared about the "real world" and my journey in it. I was discovering new things about myself. It was a huge internal paradigm shift."
Basically, I was entering puberty, experiencing increasing turbulence in my family life, was headed towards a new school environment in "middle school", and was taking in (perhaps too literally and deeply) multiple insights of "the real world" through advanced pages of cache called "the internet", all at once. Looking back, it looked and felt like my childhood was being ripped right out of my life, much like one rips out weeds to make room for new flowers to bloom. This new paradigm of my life came at me so suddenly I was starting to develop these new perspectives and philosophies which sometimes scared the shit out of me, and made me afraid of life in a lot of ways. Combined with everything else, it really through me into a depression. However, it was also positive in a sense, since it minimized my previous worries which allowed me to start saying "fuck it", and started expressing myself better at school, and stopped caring about what teachers thought. And started getting really good at pointing out the ironies and inconsistencies of many things. And started to express more useful creativity.
8. Please describe yourself when you are in a stressful situation. How do you act and why? Real life experiences are welcome.
My world forms a capping inversion. My energy goes into a loop, and I have to analyze the same shit over and over again until I'm damn sure about what the fuck is going on. My creativity is suppressed. I think this actually could have been a lot worse, in terms of consistency. I've only flirted with this through brief periods of my life over the past three years, but new experiences and friends have brought me back after a while. But damn it was weird. I stay in my room and roam around certain patterns in my head that fascinate me emotionally. My choice of music and internet browsing usually match these patterns, which do add insult to injury. Though, I have been starting to fear change because I worry these internal patterns will start up again, even more aggressively because of my increased awareness.
9. Please describe yourself when you are in an enjoyable situation. How do you act and why? Real life experiences are welcome.
Depends on the situation. Having a good conversation with friends, I feel like my mind is "training" and searching for perspectives in every angle so I can come up with things to say, but I'm generally amused, internally and externally. When alone, observing, I feel at peace, inspired, creative, and usually become fascinated with my perceptions. I have been finding myself comparing a certain element to another more often, which is usually for self-amusement. I guess in general, I feel like my mind and body are branching out. Almost longing for an increased intensity, sometimes. Or just want to take the whole situation in and internalize the fuck out of it, so I can attempt to relive it whenever I encounter a similar situation. Which reminds me how much I love the philosophy "enjoy the little things in life, for one day, they will become the big things."
10. Describe your relationship to socialization. How do you perceive one-on-one interaction? How do you perceive group interaction?
I'm usually fine in group situations (if I don't feel overly drowned out), but I prefer depth over breadth. 1o1 is good because I feel like it allows a deeper and clearer understanding to come through on both ends, yet group is a lot more dynamic. It's almost like serial vs parallel cabling. I could have better comparisons in regards to this, but that's the only one I can pick out at the moment.
11. Describe your relationship to society. What are the elements of it you hold important or unimportant (e.g. social norms, values, customs, traditions)? How do you see people as a whole?
Yeah, there are a million different dynamics surrounding this but the funny thing is, there doesn't have to be that many...well if you're an ignorant fuck, like a certain media anchor or the like. I feel like society is boiled down to many definitions which become very black and white, and that's funny because that's what society does in general. Society defines society. We have so many people saying "I don't want to be 'normal', that's fucking stupid!" and then go on Facebook and post photos of themselves emitting awkward facial expressions and such, but the thing they don't realize is, that eventually becomes "normal". It's kind of shallow, to me. I think it stems from an insecurity of previous generations values in an attempt to rebel against them, which ultimately forms new values, rinse and repeat. I feel like everything is just being dragged around like an increasing chain of random elements being dragged around by a truck.
I question and disregard certain external values internally, but sometimes I have no choice but to conform because I feel like it will get me into deeper shit in the long run and just decide to put up with it. I also go by "damned if you do, damned if you don't" quite a bit. Yeah certain things like social media are probably the devil, but it's pointless to rebel against things that become the mean, because it generally becomes inconvenient.
In general, society really sucks but there are also certain elements that can be refreshing. Like the observationally comedic environment, and the passionate people that create their own environments by becoming magnets that pull their values into one, shaping their lives. The people that give a fuck but don't at the same time, aka, knowing the line of caring too much, or when it's necessary.
And yes....I somehow answered this question backwards. Goes to show you how scatterbrained I can be.
12. Describe your relationship to authority. How do you perceive authority? What does it mean to you, and how do you deal with it?
I guess I like the idea of authority but goddamn it, most people just don't know how to execute it. Sometimes certain things just don't make any sense to me, even things that I know will never be accepted as a whole in society. Like how I think mental maturity trumps physical age when it comes to certain laws, like how old you have to be to consume alcohol and the like. And I strongly disagree with the idea of enforcing obedience even when the obedience is no longer necessary or relevant. I have an increasingly turbulent relationship with my mom, because I feel like she has become more authoritative yet often unnecessarily, since becoming the only parent over the last year or so has been stressful for her. I just wish people would chill the fuck out and not be so black and white and inflexible sometimes. Yeah, black and white authority is really fucking stupid. That's something that's really driving society downhill.
13. Describe your relationship to order and chaos. What do order and chaos mean to you? How do they manifest in your daily life?
I'm not sure what this means, but unless I think it's necessary to structure an idea or creation, order doesn't mean much. Though I often feel the need to make up my mind just because I find it satisfying somehow. It's like there's a judge somewhere scrambling for order in my mind, that pops out on occasion.
14. What is it that you fear in life? Why? How does this fear manifest to you both in how you think and how you act?
Not being able to accomplish what I set out to. Being incompetent by my standards, societies too but not really what people generally think but the basic fundamentals of life. I've never had a relationship before and it's something that my feeling faculty inside of me is hungry for. But I sometimes feel out of place. I don't want to fall short of my goals. I daydream a lot and have very random scenarios that pop up in my head, and even though it can be very unknown and out of the realm of possibility, I think about what my life would be like if I had some type of developmental disorder/disability like schizophrenia or Autism/Asperger's. I know I've been through a lot of shit but if I really did have something like one of these, which is always possible, and was sure that it was preventing me from reaching my goals, in the most extreme cases I might really be inclined to kill myself because of it. Not just because of the likelihood of not being able to live the way I want to, but also because it feels like a violation of my identity, something that I struggle to accept. Because I have a perception in mind of what these disabilities are, formulated by research and empirical evidence of how these disorders and disabilities manifest in people. I become a part of that perception somehow, and that wrecks me. I don't know but I wonder about it, and know that people discover parts of themselves that they never would have anticipated. I sometimes worry this will happen someday.
However, I wouldn't say it has much influence over my main judgements.
15. What is it that you desire in life? What do you strive to achieve? Why? Where do you think these drives and desires stem from or are inspired by?
I think I've kind of answered this question through bits of pieces of my answers here, so far. I guess I could reiterate. Musical talent, creative talent, learning new things, interesting career (actually feel like I'm starting to rebel against the nine-to-five/ratrace wavelength), romantic relationship and watching it grow from there, raise a family, and surrounding myself in calm, euphoric, fascinating yet nostalgic environments. Traveling too. Desired achievements come from all of these things as well. I'm not entirely sure where these stem from, though I feel like they stem from passionate feelings of fascination.
16. a) What activities energize you most? b) What activities drain you most? Why?
a) Being mentally engaged in anything I'm occupied in. Like playing music, or cooking, or reading up on something I'm interested in. Contemplating. Oh, this is something I love to immerse myself in because I feel like I'm consciously aware of every part of me (mainly my mind) branching out. Socializing too, but it energizes my social creativeness which I find fascinating.
b) Working on or occupying something that I just don't really give a fuck about. Oddly enough, finishing a socialization session. I think this is because my mind is settling down from branching out and it just flows through my body.
17. Why do you want to know your type? What type do you think you are? Why this/these type(s)? Is there a type that appeals to you, to your self-perception, that you would like to be? Why? If you know your enneagram, please post this here. If you have done any online function tests such as the Keys2Cognition, it helps if you post these results here as well.
Yeah, I don't really know. I just started researching this on and off, about six or seven months ago, and it really fascinated me because it led me to organize the multiple systems of someone's judgement and perception. If I thought I was a certain type, I most likely would have not mentioned anyone in this thread. I have had fond thoughts of being a certain type early on, but as I got deeper into the theory, I realized they were all bullshit generalizations for the most part.
18. Finally, is there something else you find to be of importance you want to add about yourself you think might be of relevance when helping to type you?
Not really. Anyone who reads this, feel free to ask me any questions.
deftones
New member
- Joined
- Mar 21, 2014
- Messages
- 21
Enneagram
Prerequisites
What age range are you in?
15 years 11 months.
Any disorders or conditions we should know about?
ADHD, inattentive. Though, I'd argue I don't show many symptoms anymore. Bursts of depression here and there slowly fading.
Main Questions
1. a) What do you think your life is about? b) What drives you in life? This can be something like a goal or a purpose, or anything else that comes to mind.
a) Tough question. I'm not the type of person to really define my life as much as myself. I'm really inclined to steer this question towards what I want my life to be about. I would really dig some sort of subtle adventure and unpredictability, yet peaceful.
b) I described more of what I want in the MBTI questionnaire but overall honing talents of mine and raising a family are other things that I'm hoping to achieve in my life.
2. What were you like as a kid?
Pretty different compared to now. A lot more passive. Yet hyperactive. Concealed my emotions in public and unleashed them at home, or in my comfort zone. Around age eight/nine and into preteenhood I started becoming really interested in certain things like dog breeds, making short films, weather and certain video games. It could have been a certain medication I was taking that drove more of this into consciousness, but today my interest in things and intensity has lingered making me think it's likely a result of cognitive maturity. The thing that really strikes me was how I internalized most of this and implemented it into my vivid imagination, a pure staple of my life. My imagination kind of defined my interests in a way, but as a feeling of nostalgia and fascination.
3. Describe your relationship with your parents. Does anything stand out about the way you interacted?
Well, I stopped seeing my dad about three years ago. I think he's become a huge asshole, and that's all I'll say on the matter. My relationship towards my mother has been deteriorating since about age 13 because I feel like certain decisions that she makes get in the way of how I want to execute my life right now, but other reasons as well. I've started to feel like my parents have become a nuisance in my life and I'm all I need, along with a romantic partner in the future.
4. a) What values are important to you? b) What do you hope to avoid doing or being?
a) Imagination, intuition, knowledge, creativity, music, writing, truth, intensity, focus, risk-taking, passion in general.
b) I just don't want to be an ignorant, overly passive little shit. I don't want to miss out on experiences I desire to have in my life, by the time I'm thirty or so. I don't want to waste a good bit of potential.
5. a) Aside from phobias, are there any fears that characterized your childhood? b) Have they continued into the present day, or not, and if not, how have you dealt with them?
a) Voices over the phone (mainly at night or alone), seeing my reflection in the dark, and sleeping in the pitch black dark really freaked me the fuck out because I internalized it, and they resembled an eerie and dramatic feeling which led me to attach that feeling to certain anxieties and worries over certain situations in my life. I would lose sleep and focus unless I did something about it.
One that really sticks out though, was when I was eleven years old. I was walking in my huge backyard on a cloudy and windy mid-November day. I looked up at the shy and noticed the trees were generally bare. However this through me into shell shock because something felt different about these trees, mainly the trees on the left side of my yard. The wind made it worse. I felt vulnerable, I felt like the trees were staring at me right in the face. I was surprised this was the first time I really payed attention to this considering I was living here the previous winter as well. The funny thing is I shrugged it off that night and only thought about it again that following spring when I noticed the leaves were back, and it reminded me of how freaky I thought the trees on the left side looked bare. I urged my parents to move us out before that Halloween. To this day, I think I'd faint a little if I saw those trees bare, if I were still living there....because of the intensity of the impression and considering how much I've bottled it up.
b) They've really waned for the most part unless I'm witnessing them alone at night and am content, which gives breathing room for these thoughts and feelings to manifest. I usually try to find a way out of it. I slept with the light on for certain periods of my life. I've covered mirrors and television sets as a kid just so I couldn't somehow see my reflection in darkness while sleeping. My imagination can be a little bitch sometimes.
6. a.) How do you see yourself?
I see myself as a bit of a prospect moving through life's abstract farm system of self-talent and personal growth. I could do better, be less of an underachiever. I guess there are times when I should have cried. I'm passionate about certain things yet apathetic about others, and like cooking unhealthy foods. I'm a pleasant and caring calculating asshole.
b.) How do you want others to see you?
As someone interesting and someone to keep coming back for more. You know what, I think this question really depends on the person.
c.) What do you dislike the most in other people?
Shallow minded, condescending, black and white, desperate people of all sorts. I'm sure there's more but that's off the top of my head.
7. Which habit do you most automatically act on? Rank the following habits from most to least automatic, on a scale of 1 (most) to 3 (least).
Most
b.) Strive for a sense of tranquility in yourself and the world around you
c.) Decide what is right for the betterment of something or someone else.
a.) Work for personal gain with more concern for self than for others. (interestingly, in a way, rationalizing in whatever the situation is calling for 'right' can end up becoming a personal gain over time)
Least
8. a) Where does the wandering mind take you? b) What provokes this?
a) To places I've never discovered before internally. I'm introduced to new characters and alter egos in my mind that I choose to adapt to (humorously). New mechanisms that improve concepts in my head, whether it be a new rhythm I'm drumming, new recipe I save to my head, new theory about my asshole neighbor unnecessarily chatting everybody up no matter what time it is, or a new piece of the puzzle called my game plan. Lalaland and back with a a souvenir or two.
b) Contemplating, daydreaming and analyzing.
9.What makes you feel your best? What makes you feel your worst?
Best: Mental engagement. Working through and exploring patterns in my head, especially with background music. Experiencing favorable sensations, including but limited to good food, an interesting conversation, good reads, exploring external patterns in things like video games and such. Feeling understood.
Worst: Experiencing sensations similar to ones that have caused stress and negative feelings or remind me of stressful situations, it's almost like I have the feeling creeping up on me all over again. Disappointment over something I have longed. Invalidation over my internal world. Feeling misunderstood.
10. Let's talk about emotions. Explain what might make you feel the following, how they feel to you or how you react to the emotion:
a.) anger: There's a whole spectrum for this one. Frustration is on it, and it's the worst. It makes me want to shred every once of my body with a sharp grater because I feel like there's something nagging at me but I have no control over it, I feel like my body is tightening up. However pure anger detached from things like frustration can be kind of cool, and I kind enjoy implementing it into my imagination or turn it into some sort of artsy fartsy impression. It generally sucks tho.
b.) shame: Makes me want to jump out of a window if valid shame. I beat myself to a bloody pulp looking for answers, and when the only answers are ones I don't want to know, I shut down and need to recharge for a day or so. My identity starts to shatter. I second guess myself. It's awful.
c.) anxiety: Luckily my anxiety has waned as I have matured, but it's came through when I've least expected it. Sometimes when I'm feeling creative yet feel out of sync with my environment (I sometimes reject certain impressions that pop up because I don't value them) I get this awful lingering feeling of anticipation for something vague and unclear. It's like I'm reaching for some light at the end of the tunnel of fuck but I don't really know why. I'm actually having this feeling writing all of this. It puts me into hyperdrive and I feel like I have to organize every short-term priority available so I have it right for the moment. It's kind of cool but it's taxing. I lose sleep over shit like this. I also have certain experiences with bursts of generalized anxiety and I think I was developing mild social anxiety as a twelve year old right before my doomsday of puberty experiences occured.
11. Describe how you respond to the following:
a.) stress: Shut down like fucking Windows 98. Overanalyze and roam through current patterns. Disorganization, so it feels like.
b.) negative unexpected change: As a kid I'd be wrecked over it, often to tears, but I've gotten better at rationalizing it. However that could be because I've adapted to chaos in my internal and external world and hide behind certain occupations.
c.) conflict: Really depends on who it's with. If it's with my mother I feel like going into hulk mode but have gotten better at holding it in. In public, such as school, I suppress and control my emotions (like I tend to do with any negative and dramatic emotion) and also sometimes hide behind a wall of cunning and deconstructive sarcasm. Sometimes if it's harsh conflict, it might take a toll on my emotional faculty. As a kid I was very sensitive to things like this and harsh criticism, because it felt like the effect of it ushered in and enhanced negative emotions.
12. a.) What kind of role are you naturally inclined to take in a group? Why?
Adaptive and supportive role yet assertive when need to be. Idea generator (unless I'm immersed in an introverted state, then I struggle to come up with new ideas because certain energies are being confined in certain areas)
b.) If put in power, how do you behave? Why?
It's not my natural state, but if I'm really organized internally, I'm not bad. I'm pretty good at improvising minor bits of a speech during a presentation, and if I'm in the zone, I can build on it. In a pure power role such as leadership I'm not sure because I've never really had such a role. I'm inclined to think I'd become taxed after a while, but I can present myself in an interesting way which gets people thinking.
c.) Do you tend to struggle with others who have authority over you? Why?
Depends on the authority. If it's stubborn, black and white authority, I tend to resist and hide behind the lovely sarcasm again. I might suck it up but after a while I quietly rebel and do things my way.
13. What do you see or notice in others that most people don't?
Small details, like a piece of jewelry someone's wearing, or something someone says that stands out to me. A certain mechanism that I admire. Inconsistencies in what someone says or does.
14. Comment on your relationship with trust.
I compare my experiences with the person or element, examine what the element has done with another element, examine what I think/feel of the element, and predict how I think the element will react based on all of that information. Then I apply a certain level of trust depending on the result. I've never noticed myself doing that until I typed this, so now maybe my trust will be more reliable.
15. Briefly: What religious and/or political beliefs do you have? Do you think they influenced your responses in this questionnaire?
Religion is generally shoddy, and politics are fucking stupid. Politics are like when authority meets down syndrome-quality philosophy and a stalling cyclone of perspective aimed to improve status. It's a waste of time. I'm pretty cynical on the matter and I've accepted that things will likely never change. And no, lol, I didn't even think of the two when writing any of this.
Optional Question (due to personal nature)
Discuss an event that has impacted your life significantly; more importantly, how you responded to it.
Described things like these in earlier posts including my OP
What's something you are: a.) thankful you have b.) wish you could have? Why?
a) My imagination, creativity and sense of humor. They really have brought me into a better position internally and externally. Bar any self-destructions, I might be optimistic in regards to the ultimate construction of myself in the future.
b) I guess there's a little more to this but I'd like to give my feeling faculty a break here. I've always been fascinated by romantic elements, and wanted to be with someone I value physically, mentally and emotionally, so I guess I'd like a relationship with someone I value to those lengths the most right now. But it's not like I'd mainly rely on it to be happy.
Prerequisites
What age range are you in?
15 years 11 months.
Any disorders or conditions we should know about?
ADHD, inattentive. Though, I'd argue I don't show many symptoms anymore. Bursts of depression here and there slowly fading.
Main Questions
1. a) What do you think your life is about? b) What drives you in life? This can be something like a goal or a purpose, or anything else that comes to mind.
a) Tough question. I'm not the type of person to really define my life as much as myself. I'm really inclined to steer this question towards what I want my life to be about. I would really dig some sort of subtle adventure and unpredictability, yet peaceful.
b) I described more of what I want in the MBTI questionnaire but overall honing talents of mine and raising a family are other things that I'm hoping to achieve in my life.
2. What were you like as a kid?
Pretty different compared to now. A lot more passive. Yet hyperactive. Concealed my emotions in public and unleashed them at home, or in my comfort zone. Around age eight/nine and into preteenhood I started becoming really interested in certain things like dog breeds, making short films, weather and certain video games. It could have been a certain medication I was taking that drove more of this into consciousness, but today my interest in things and intensity has lingered making me think it's likely a result of cognitive maturity. The thing that really strikes me was how I internalized most of this and implemented it into my vivid imagination, a pure staple of my life. My imagination kind of defined my interests in a way, but as a feeling of nostalgia and fascination.
3. Describe your relationship with your parents. Does anything stand out about the way you interacted?
Well, I stopped seeing my dad about three years ago. I think he's become a huge asshole, and that's all I'll say on the matter. My relationship towards my mother has been deteriorating since about age 13 because I feel like certain decisions that she makes get in the way of how I want to execute my life right now, but other reasons as well. I've started to feel like my parents have become a nuisance in my life and I'm all I need, along with a romantic partner in the future.
4. a) What values are important to you? b) What do you hope to avoid doing or being?
a) Imagination, intuition, knowledge, creativity, music, writing, truth, intensity, focus, risk-taking, passion in general.
b) I just don't want to be an ignorant, overly passive little shit. I don't want to miss out on experiences I desire to have in my life, by the time I'm thirty or so. I don't want to waste a good bit of potential.
5. a) Aside from phobias, are there any fears that characterized your childhood? b) Have they continued into the present day, or not, and if not, how have you dealt with them?
a) Voices over the phone (mainly at night or alone), seeing my reflection in the dark, and sleeping in the pitch black dark really freaked me the fuck out because I internalized it, and they resembled an eerie and dramatic feeling which led me to attach that feeling to certain anxieties and worries over certain situations in my life. I would lose sleep and focus unless I did something about it.
One that really sticks out though, was when I was eleven years old. I was walking in my huge backyard on a cloudy and windy mid-November day. I looked up at the shy and noticed the trees were generally bare. However this through me into shell shock because something felt different about these trees, mainly the trees on the left side of my yard. The wind made it worse. I felt vulnerable, I felt like the trees were staring at me right in the face. I was surprised this was the first time I really payed attention to this considering I was living here the previous winter as well. The funny thing is I shrugged it off that night and only thought about it again that following spring when I noticed the leaves were back, and it reminded me of how freaky I thought the trees on the left side looked bare. I urged my parents to move us out before that Halloween. To this day, I think I'd faint a little if I saw those trees bare, if I were still living there....because of the intensity of the impression and considering how much I've bottled it up.
b) They've really waned for the most part unless I'm witnessing them alone at night and am content, which gives breathing room for these thoughts and feelings to manifest. I usually try to find a way out of it. I slept with the light on for certain periods of my life. I've covered mirrors and television sets as a kid just so I couldn't somehow see my reflection in darkness while sleeping. My imagination can be a little bitch sometimes.
6. a.) How do you see yourself?
I see myself as a bit of a prospect moving through life's abstract farm system of self-talent and personal growth. I could do better, be less of an underachiever. I guess there are times when I should have cried. I'm passionate about certain things yet apathetic about others, and like cooking unhealthy foods. I'm a pleasant and caring calculating asshole.
b.) How do you want others to see you?
As someone interesting and someone to keep coming back for more. You know what, I think this question really depends on the person.
c.) What do you dislike the most in other people?
Shallow minded, condescending, black and white, desperate people of all sorts. I'm sure there's more but that's off the top of my head.
7. Which habit do you most automatically act on? Rank the following habits from most to least automatic, on a scale of 1 (most) to 3 (least).
Most
b.) Strive for a sense of tranquility in yourself and the world around you
c.) Decide what is right for the betterment of something or someone else.
a.) Work for personal gain with more concern for self than for others. (interestingly, in a way, rationalizing in whatever the situation is calling for 'right' can end up becoming a personal gain over time)
Least
8. a) Where does the wandering mind take you? b) What provokes this?
a) To places I've never discovered before internally. I'm introduced to new characters and alter egos in my mind that I choose to adapt to (humorously). New mechanisms that improve concepts in my head, whether it be a new rhythm I'm drumming, new recipe I save to my head, new theory about my asshole neighbor unnecessarily chatting everybody up no matter what time it is, or a new piece of the puzzle called my game plan. Lalaland and back with a a souvenir or two.
b) Contemplating, daydreaming and analyzing.
9.What makes you feel your best? What makes you feel your worst?
Best: Mental engagement. Working through and exploring patterns in my head, especially with background music. Experiencing favorable sensations, including but limited to good food, an interesting conversation, good reads, exploring external patterns in things like video games and such. Feeling understood.
Worst: Experiencing sensations similar to ones that have caused stress and negative feelings or remind me of stressful situations, it's almost like I have the feeling creeping up on me all over again. Disappointment over something I have longed. Invalidation over my internal world. Feeling misunderstood.
10. Let's talk about emotions. Explain what might make you feel the following, how they feel to you or how you react to the emotion:
a.) anger: There's a whole spectrum for this one. Frustration is on it, and it's the worst. It makes me want to shred every once of my body with a sharp grater because I feel like there's something nagging at me but I have no control over it, I feel like my body is tightening up. However pure anger detached from things like frustration can be kind of cool, and I kind enjoy implementing it into my imagination or turn it into some sort of artsy fartsy impression. It generally sucks tho.
b.) shame: Makes me want to jump out of a window if valid shame. I beat myself to a bloody pulp looking for answers, and when the only answers are ones I don't want to know, I shut down and need to recharge for a day or so. My identity starts to shatter. I second guess myself. It's awful.
c.) anxiety: Luckily my anxiety has waned as I have matured, but it's came through when I've least expected it. Sometimes when I'm feeling creative yet feel out of sync with my environment (I sometimes reject certain impressions that pop up because I don't value them) I get this awful lingering feeling of anticipation for something vague and unclear. It's like I'm reaching for some light at the end of the tunnel of fuck but I don't really know why. I'm actually having this feeling writing all of this. It puts me into hyperdrive and I feel like I have to organize every short-term priority available so I have it right for the moment. It's kind of cool but it's taxing. I lose sleep over shit like this. I also have certain experiences with bursts of generalized anxiety and I think I was developing mild social anxiety as a twelve year old right before my doomsday of puberty experiences occured.
11. Describe how you respond to the following:
a.) stress: Shut down like fucking Windows 98. Overanalyze and roam through current patterns. Disorganization, so it feels like.
b.) negative unexpected change: As a kid I'd be wrecked over it, often to tears, but I've gotten better at rationalizing it. However that could be because I've adapted to chaos in my internal and external world and hide behind certain occupations.
c.) conflict: Really depends on who it's with. If it's with my mother I feel like going into hulk mode but have gotten better at holding it in. In public, such as school, I suppress and control my emotions (like I tend to do with any negative and dramatic emotion) and also sometimes hide behind a wall of cunning and deconstructive sarcasm. Sometimes if it's harsh conflict, it might take a toll on my emotional faculty. As a kid I was very sensitive to things like this and harsh criticism, because it felt like the effect of it ushered in and enhanced negative emotions.
12. a.) What kind of role are you naturally inclined to take in a group? Why?
Adaptive and supportive role yet assertive when need to be. Idea generator (unless I'm immersed in an introverted state, then I struggle to come up with new ideas because certain energies are being confined in certain areas)
b.) If put in power, how do you behave? Why?
It's not my natural state, but if I'm really organized internally, I'm not bad. I'm pretty good at improvising minor bits of a speech during a presentation, and if I'm in the zone, I can build on it. In a pure power role such as leadership I'm not sure because I've never really had such a role. I'm inclined to think I'd become taxed after a while, but I can present myself in an interesting way which gets people thinking.
c.) Do you tend to struggle with others who have authority over you? Why?
Depends on the authority. If it's stubborn, black and white authority, I tend to resist and hide behind the lovely sarcasm again. I might suck it up but after a while I quietly rebel and do things my way.
13. What do you see or notice in others that most people don't?
Small details, like a piece of jewelry someone's wearing, or something someone says that stands out to me. A certain mechanism that I admire. Inconsistencies in what someone says or does.
14. Comment on your relationship with trust.
I compare my experiences with the person or element, examine what the element has done with another element, examine what I think/feel of the element, and predict how I think the element will react based on all of that information. Then I apply a certain level of trust depending on the result. I've never noticed myself doing that until I typed this, so now maybe my trust will be more reliable.
15. Briefly: What religious and/or political beliefs do you have? Do you think they influenced your responses in this questionnaire?
Religion is generally shoddy, and politics are fucking stupid. Politics are like when authority meets down syndrome-quality philosophy and a stalling cyclone of perspective aimed to improve status. It's a waste of time. I'm pretty cynical on the matter and I've accepted that things will likely never change. And no, lol, I didn't even think of the two when writing any of this.
Optional Question (due to personal nature)
Discuss an event that has impacted your life significantly; more importantly, how you responded to it.
Described things like these in earlier posts including my OP
What's something you are: a.) thankful you have b.) wish you could have? Why?
a) My imagination, creativity and sense of humor. They really have brought me into a better position internally and externally. Bar any self-destructions, I might be optimistic in regards to the ultimate construction of myself in the future.
b) I guess there's a little more to this but I'd like to give my feeling faculty a break here. I've always been fascinated by romantic elements, and wanted to be with someone I value physically, mentally and emotionally, so I guess I'd like a relationship with someone I value to those lengths the most right now. But it's not like I'd mainly rely on it to be happy.
