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  1. #11
    Away with the fairies Southern Kross's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by the resident View Post
    Might I inquire what piques your interest?
    Thre's some things that are attractive to me: their confidence, capability, charm, guts, self-discipline, evenness of temper etc. But also the stuff that's hidden beneath that; the vulnerabilities behind it. Those contradictions are interesting. Their rareness also makes the type compelling and mysterious to me. I don't think they're a common type but this is compounded by the fact that it's not a fashionable type to be (there's a lot of negative stereotypes for 3s), so they often mistype as something else. Basically there just isn't enough in-depth discussion about the type and I want to know more about them.

    Actually, I'm pretty sure the woman in my avatar is a 3w4 BTW.

    Hmm, I'm not sure of the wings. Perhaps you could help me out?
    OK. In what form do you want your success to come? Does it matter to you want sort of people you want to win over? Do you want to win over a wide range of people and have mainstream success, or do you want to win over a more selective, niche group of people (ie. specific sorts of people who you feel can appreciate your skills)?

    Also while 3s tend to be extroverted in general, but 3w2s tend to be more outgoing and 3w4s are more introspective. Which do you think fits you?
    INFP 4w5 so/sp

    I've dreamt in my life dreams that have stayed with me ever after, and changed my ideas;
    they've gone through and through me, like wine through water, and altered the colour of my mind.

    - Emily Bronte

  2. #12
    Member the resident's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Southern Kross View Post
    Thre's some things that are attractive to me: their confidence, capability, charm, guts, self-discipline, evenness of temper etc. But also the stuff that's hidden beneath that; the vulnerabilities behind it. Those contradictions are interesting. Their rareness also makes the type compelling and mysterious to me. I don't think they're a common type but this is compounded by the fact that it's not a fashionable type to be (there's a lot of negative stereotypes for 3s), so they often mistype as something else. Basically there just isn't enough in-depth discussion about the type and I want to know more about them.
    *Winks*

    Quote Originally Posted by Southern Kross View Post
    Actually, I'm pretty sure the woman in my avatar is a 3w4 BTW.
    Oh?

    Quote Originally Posted by Southern Kross View Post
    OK. In what form do you want your success to come? Does it matter to you want sort of people you want to win over? Do you want to win over a wide range of people and have mainstream success, or do you want to win over a more selective, niche group of people (ie. specific sorts of people who you feel can appreciate your skills)?
    I am selective.

    Quote Originally Posted by Southern Kross View Post
    Also while 3s tend to be extroverted in general, but 3w2s tend to be more outgoing and 3w4s are more introspective. Which do you think fits you?
    Introspective.
    3w2 6w7 8w7
    3w2 6w7 8w7



    3w2 6w7 8w7

    "Verbally adept and a good reader of people and situations, you have the ability to identify unjust authority, rebel against tyranny and verbally spar against it."

    "The 368 is very dynamic. This is the toughest fighter on the Enneagram."

    The Justice Fighter

    3w2 6w7 8w7
    3w2 6w7 8w7

  3. #13
    Away with the fairies Southern Kross's Avatar
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    OK so how do you feel about this description. What parts do you identify with and what parts don't fit you?

    three with a four wing


    general description

    Average 3/4 wants to be admired for unique presentation, not mass-marketed stereotypes. Unlike the 3/2s, who want everybody to admire them, 3/4s are more interested in securing the attention of a select following. The introspection of the four-wing makes them less comfortable than 3/2 in social situations, although the powerful threeish social grace usually hides it. Because threeish vanity is stronger than fourish emotionality, they usually manage to stay cool in times of stress, unlike the more emotionally volatile 4/3s.


    balanced and transcendent states

    Balanced 3/4 is gentle, compassionate, and smoothly effective. When three integrates to six and four integrates to one, a new sense of social responsibility combines with the wisdom that comes from emotional equanimity. Healthy 3/4s are effective at accomplishing real-world goals and intuitive enough to be good advisers. They make excellent business mentors or career counselors. They might be good at rescuing a failing company, or seeing that what is really needed is to break it up and sell the parts.

    Extremely advanced 3/4 combines quiet self-assurance with deep emotional insight into other people's experiences. They may appear at the tops of large organizations devoted to improving life for everyone on the planet, or they may work quietly behind the scenes, spreading a sense of confidence and optimism among the members of their team. Wherever they go they leave behind a feeling of deep connection and belonging. They are subtle teachers who set an example of compassionate action.


    unbalanced and unhealthy states

    Unbalanced 3/4 hides loss of self-worth behind a veneer of artificial coolness. If the success-orientation of the three becomes too compulsive, and the fourish introspection gets out of hand, 3/4s lose their genuineness. They become less socially adept, and somewhat manipulative, as their fourish self-dislike leads to a twoish desire to reinforce self-image by "helping" others. The self-deceptive pride that results is hidden behind emotional deadening as three pulls in the worst of nine. Such people can be difficult to like, because of the way they constantly remind themselves and others of their own accomplishments.

    In the worst case, 3/4 is capable of atrocities, just like 3/2, except that because of the greater self-examination of the four-wing, such crimes are more likely to be isolated cases. 3/4 can be rather self-destructive as all the normal rules of social conduct are abandoned in an attempt to generate attention of any kind from others. In the deepest psychosis, mass-murder-suicides are possible. Everyone else gets to be famous, but not me. But watch! I'll get my fifteen minutes, when they see what I have done. Just wait. I'll show them.


    physical appearance

    3/4s are interested in appearing attractive and sexy, because they are threes, but the four-wing makes them also want to be unique. Their overall appearance usually includes elements that set them apart from the crowd. 3/4s usually want to set the next fashion, rather than following the current one. Fourish sensitivity to aesthetics and form gives them a subtlety and flair that 3/2s usually seem to lack. Like 4/3s, they want to inject a bit of drama into their presentation.


    callings

    Some 3/4s find work that shows them to the world in a unique but culturally acceptable way. Leading-edge pop singers, actors, politicians, and talk-show hosts. Others succeed by mastering the corporate world, becoming CEOs, entrepeneurs, fashion consultants. They might be in retail sales, insurance, real estate, or commodities. There are 3/4 computer technicians, auto mechanics, novelists, and artists. Of course, 3/4s can also be found doing many other kinds of work.
    Link (they have a good 3w2 description too)
    INFP 4w5 so/sp

    I've dreamt in my life dreams that have stayed with me ever after, and changed my ideas;
    they've gone through and through me, like wine through water, and altered the colour of my mind.

    - Emily Bronte

  4. #14
    Member the resident's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Southern Kross View Post
    OK so how do you feel about this description. What parts do you identify with and what parts don't fit you?



    Link (they have a good 3w2 description too)
    These descriptions are bogus. I just said I cared about being admired because the bogus descriptions make it impossible for people to think about E3's without referencing the belief that they are a retainer for external validation. Being a slave to admiration means the depletion of freedom.

    It's a thin line to tread, talking about enneagram without being hemmed-in. I haven't found my stride.
    3w2 6w7 8w7
    3w2 6w7 8w7



    3w2 6w7 8w7

    "Verbally adept and a good reader of people and situations, you have the ability to identify unjust authority, rebel against tyranny and verbally spar against it."

    "The 368 is very dynamic. This is the toughest fighter on the Enneagram."

    The Justice Fighter

    3w2 6w7 8w7
    3w2 6w7 8w7

  5. #15
    Away with the fairies Southern Kross's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by the resident View Post
    These descriptions are bogus. I just said I cared about being admired because the bogus descriptions make it impossible for people to think about E3's without referencing the belief that they are a retainer for external validation. Being a slave to admiration means the depletion of freedom.

    It's a thin line to tread, talking about enneagram without being hemmed-in. I haven't found my stride.
    I absolutely agree that it's not all about validation - 3s are not needy people by definition. But 3s do need to be seen as competent. They are part of the image triad, so coming across to others in the ideal way is going to be important.

    Also when it comes to Enneagram you have to be careful not to take it too literally. The descriptions are often more harsh and extreme than the reality. You have to think of them as a magnifying glass over certain flaws, making them seem larger to highlight how they work.

    Perhaps some other description may appeal more:

    3w2
    The 3w2 version of outstanding is closer to something that's more w2 inclusive, accessible to everyone and more mainstream. They are on average more sociable and are more about putting their best them forward. They want to shine. The more extroverted 3w2s have a beaming brightness to them. As one poster put it:

    "It is far more about end product than process for me. I don’t really need to appear to have taking no effort whatsoever, though I hardly wish to lay out my every faltering baby step in my process for review. What is more important is what you are, how you present, how you impress. It is about commanding that stage, turning in a scintillating performance, dazzling them all so you are the one that gets remembered. And sure it takes work to get there, to be that person. But that’s just part of it all. That happens, but it is nothing to dwell on, because of course you have to work hard, that’s just part of the game, nothing remarkable there, let’s just look at what we’ve become."

    3w4
    The 3w4 version of outstanding is closer to something that's more w4 exclusive, more unique and original, just out of reach and admired from a distance. 3w4s are more aloof, more melanchonlic and icy cool. They tend to romanticize the hard work needed to get to top when no one was looking: "the dignity that is in work"(Obama). They are about putting their best foot forward in a more professional dignified manner. As one poster put it:

    "The 3w4 romanticising of “hard work” is really the keen awareness of the image/reality dichotomy – it’s about “everything you don’t see” – the work it takes to “appear as though there is no effort involved” – it’s about knowing “what it takes”; that sense of bittersweetness every time someone gives you a compliment. It’s the secret you keep of everything you’re not – of how you’ve had to become, but that no one else will ever know. It’s the steely, gracious and enigmatic smile as you walk on stage, thinking about “what it’s taken to get here”. That’s the 3w4 romanticism of hard work. That sense of being born with leaden feet, but having overcome it with nothing but willpower and desire, to take to flight as though always born with great and golden wings."
    Link. There's a good general description of 3s there too.
    INFP 4w5 so/sp

    I've dreamt in my life dreams that have stayed with me ever after, and changed my ideas;
    they've gone through and through me, like wine through water, and altered the colour of my mind.

    - Emily Bronte

  6. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by Southern Kross View Post
    I absolutely agree that it's not all about validation - 3s are not needy people by definition. But 3s do need to be seen as competent. They are part of the image triad, so coming across to others in the ideal way is going to be important.

    Also when it comes to Enneagram you have to be careful not to take it too literally. The descriptions are often more harsh and extreme than the reality. You have to think of them as a magnifying glass over certain flaws, making them seem larger to highlight how they work.
    You can't see anything clearly with a dirty glass.
    3w2 6w7 8w7
    3w2 6w7 8w7



    3w2 6w7 8w7

    "Verbally adept and a good reader of people and situations, you have the ability to identify unjust authority, rebel against tyranny and verbally spar against it."

    "The 368 is very dynamic. This is the toughest fighter on the Enneagram."

    The Justice Fighter

    3w2 6w7 8w7
    3w2 6w7 8w7

  7. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by the resident View Post
    These descriptions are bogus. I just said I cared about being admired because the bogus descriptions make it impossible for people to think about E3's without referencing the belief that they are a retainer for external validation. Being a slave to admiration means the depletion of freedom.

    It's a thin line to tread, talking about enneagram without being hemmed-in. I haven't found my stride.
    Hmmm, you seem pretty individualistic for an Fe-dominant. Not impossible, however improbable.

  8. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nihilogen View Post
    Hmmm, you seem pretty individualistic for an Fe-dominant. Not impossible, however improbable.
    Tsk tsk. Look at you. Denying individuality to Fe-doms.
    3w2 6w7 8w7
    3w2 6w7 8w7



    3w2 6w7 8w7

    "Verbally adept and a good reader of people and situations, you have the ability to identify unjust authority, rebel against tyranny and verbally spar against it."

    "The 368 is very dynamic. This is the toughest fighter on the Enneagram."

    The Justice Fighter

    3w2 6w7 8w7
    3w2 6w7 8w7

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