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  1. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by skylights View Post
    The things she was into, she was REALLY into. I never understood how she could be that intense about everything.
    What was her gut fix?

  2. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by Urarienev View Post
    @The Great One I care only more recently.

    This is cause I have never and still don't admit my fear...its a counter phobic thing I think. I used to be way worse. Now I will actually acknowledge someone that I don't care about. Where before I didn't.

    You have Fe. Even though it's tertiary you still respect social rules better than inferior Fi....

    The thing I don't do is try to be sexually attractive. At least not in my appearance. That's how I know I'm not sx dom. I don't devote energy into that.

    However when I like someone and want them....then I put energy into getting their attention sexually.
    1)Yes I have VERY STRONG Fe, and I believe that this makes me want to get along with others and to not offend them and to not lose my good standing with them. Also, this makes me think that I am more 9 fixed now. I looked up the 693 descriptions and they all elude to the fact that 693 tri-types tend to be very diplomatic and tend to want to keep their good standing with others, and to want to keep up a good image to people. It also says that they almost always type as core 3's. So this explains a lot.

    2) Interesting? So you say that you don't devote much time to being sexually attractive? I find this peculiar because Naranjo says that the need to be sexually attractive is both a Sp and an Sx thing. In fact, typewatch (who is full of shit) tried to convince me that it's unanimously an Sp thing, and Sx doesn't care about it as much. I knew that this was a lie. However, it seems that many Sp doms wind up being attractive because they often are very invested in their health, and as a result often diet and exercise to stay healthy. This in turn gives them a slim and healthy physique and makes them look more sexually attractive. However, I find that many Sp doms that are healthy but yet they still don't look that great are still happy because their goals of being healthy are still accomplished despite the fact.

    However, as an Sx dom, my precedence is on being sexually attractive. Right now, I have a gagging problem that keeps me from being able to do anaerobic exercise because I throw up every time I work out. I am soon to get a full-time job though, and get health insurance, so I am soon to get this problem solved. This problem drives me absolutely insane because I can't exercise, and as a result I am fat. I HATE BEING FAT! Every time I look in the mirror, I am disgusted right now and it's a problem. I've noticed however, that I am not as upset with the fact that I have a physical health problem or the fact that being fat is unhealthy, but I am much more upset by the fact that I am unattractive.

    It's really funny because I am always upset by things that could harm my level of physical attractiveness. For instance, I recently was cooking french fries myself for the first time at my friend's house. I had never tried to cook the fries before and my father told me how to cook them. Anyway, he told me to buy this hot canola oil to cook them in and to just let it heat up. So I let it heat up and heat up and nothing happened: it didn't bubble or anything. However, I then turned up the temperature because it didn't look hot enough. However, it still didn't boil. I then turned up the temperature again, and still no boil. At this point, I got frustrated and asked my father what to do. He then told me that the water didn't start to boil or sizzle until you threw some french fries in. So I then threw some fries in and was kind of careless. The grease was so hot that when I threw the fries in, they turned jet black and went to charcoal within like 3 seconds of putting them in. Also, when I threw the fries a great deal of the grease came flying out and spilled out of the pot. The grease came VERY close to hitting my stomach and this terrified me.

    My so/sp friend was with me at the time, and he said, "Wow, that grease was super hot". If that grease came into contact with your stomach, you would be in excruciating pain and would have to go to the hospital. That would hurt like hell." I knew this as well, and I wasn't fond of the idea. However, what really terrified me wasn't the fact that the grease would harm me so much, it was the fact that the grease would most likely have disfigured me. My stomach would have never looked the same if that grease hit me. My stomach would look burned and would have been terribly scarred. If that happened, then I would have felt in my mind that I could never be sexy ever again. This would have been enough to drive me absolutely off the deep end, and I may have even become a serious drug addict because of this or even have committed suicide. I am much more afraid of things harming my appearance than of them actually hurting me.

    Quote Originally Posted by Magic Qwan View Post
    very interesting...
    I, too, desire closeness, yet fear I'm not good enough...
    I wonder if you are a so/sx 6w7? After all, you said that you relate to the dorky, phobic guy in most comedy shows that gets picked on. To tell the truth the dorky, fearful guy in most comedy shows is usually a so/sx or a sp/so 6w7, but suprisingly is almost never a so/sp 6w7. So this leads me to believe that you, in fact, aren't so/sp, but more likely sp/so or so/sx.

  3. #13
    Unapologetic being Evolving Transparency's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Great One View Post
    1)Yes I have VERY STRONG Fe, and I believe that this makes me want to get along with others and to not offend them and to not lose my good standing with them. Also, this makes me think that I am more 9 fixed now. I looked up the 693 descriptions and they all elude to the fact that 693 tri-types tend to be very diplomatic and tend to want to keep their good standing with others, and to want to keep up a good image to people. It also says that they almost always type as core 3's. So this explains a lot.
    I could see 693 for you.

    2) Interesting? So you say that you don't devote much time to being sexually attractive? I find this peculiar because Naranjo says that the need to be sexually attractive is both a Sp and an Sx thing. In fact, typewatch (who is full of shit) tried to convince me that it's unanimously an Sp thing, and Sx doesn't care about it as much. I knew that this was a lie. However, it seems that many Sp doms wind up being attractive because they often are very invested in their health, and as a result often diet and exercise to stay healthy. This in turn gives them a slim and healthy physique and makes them look more sexually attractive. However, I find that many Sp doms that are healthy but yet they still don't look that great are still happy because their goals of being healthy are still accomplished despite the fact.

    However, as an Sx dom, my precedence is on being sexually attractive. Right now, I have a gagging problem that keeps me from being able to do anaerobic exercise because I throw up every time I work out. I am soon to get a full-time job though, and get health insurance, so I am soon to get this problem solved. This problem drives me absolutely insane because I can't exercise, and as a result I am fat. I HATE BEING FAT! Every time I look in the mirror, I am disgusted right now and it's a problem. I've noticed however, that I am not as upset with the fact that I have a physical health problem or the fact that being fat is unhealthy, but I am much more upset by the fact that I am unattractive.
    Yea, I throw "what makes someone attractive" into the so category. What makes someone attractive is what is "socially the norm" imo. I despise that crap. I would say that the way it goes for me priority wise is: I want to be healthy, as long as I was healthy I wouldn't care how fat I was, then I want to attract someone. I hold both of those priorities high, but I am much less worried about being sexually attractive. I will eventually be with someone. And I'm a girl, it's easy to get laid if I need to. (It might not be as easy for guys, that I don't know.)

    And I would say I devote energy into being sexually attractive. But I don't do it all the time. Like I don't care what I look like at the store or something. Or even work. I have a certain standard, and I don't go below that. But it's minimal energy to uphold that standard. Just once in a while if I like someone, then I will take more time and energy to cater to them.

    It's really funny because I am always upset by things that could harm my level of physical attractiveness. For instance, I recently was cooking french fries myself for the first time at my friend's house. I had never tried to cook the fries before and my father told me how to cook them. Anyway, he told me to buy this hot canola oil to cook them in and to just let it heat up. So I let it heat up and heat up and nothing happened: it didn't bubble or anything. However, I then turned up the temperature because it didn't look hot enough. However, it still didn't boil. I then turned up the temperature again, and still no boil. At this point, I got frustrated and asked my father what to do. He then told me that the water didn't start to boil or sizzle until you threw some french fries in. So I then threw some fries in and was kind of careless. The grease was so hot that when I threw the fries in, they turned jet black and went to charcoal within like 3 seconds of putting them in. Also, when I threw the fries a great deal of the grease came flying out and spilled out of the pot. The grease came VERY close to hitting my stomach and this terrified me.

    My so/sp friend was with me at the time, and he said, "Wow, that grease was super hot". If that grease came into contact with your stomach, you would be in excruciating pain and would have to go to the hospital. That would hurt like hell." I knew this as well, and I wasn't fond of the idea. However, what really terrified me wasn't the fact that the grease would harm me so much, it was the fact that the grease would most likely have disfigured me. My stomach would have never looked the same if that grease hit me. My stomach would look burned and would have been terribly scarred. If that happened, then I would have felt in my mind that I could never be sexy ever again. This would have been enough to drive me absolutely off the deep end, and I may have even become a serious drug addict because of this or even have committed suicide. I am much more afraid of things harming my appearance than of them actually hurting me.
    You are such a 6 lol.

    And scars are hot btw.

    I think ppl just have to find someone that accepts them for who they are. Scars and all.

    I def would have been more afraid of feeling the physical pain of being burned. I avoid hospitals at all costs.
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  4. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Great One View Post
    So I have really been reconsidering the fact that I could in fact be a 6w7 sx/so with a 3w2 fix, instead of a sx/sp. My question is this though: What does that look like, and could that make the sx/so 6w7 much more career and success oriented? For some reason I am VERY ambitious and all about making money, becoming as sexually attractive as I can to the opposite sex, and about getting as high up the social ladder as humanly possible. I generally don't see this trait in that many sx/so 6w7's and they don't seem to be very success oriented at all. In fact, most of them that I have come across are fucking idiots: They seem to be morons that make the worst decisions ever and tend to be drug addicts, convicts, and fuck ups from what I have seen. In fact, I don't think that I have ever met an ambitious, and successful sx/so 6w7 in my entire life. However, I seem to fit the sx/so description quite well, I know I am sx dom, and I seem to be countra-flow. I think that the 3w2 fix could explain why I am much more in control of myself and much more success oriented than most 6w7 sx/so's because most of them that I know have a 4 fix, and some have a 2 fix. In fact, I have never met another 6w7 sx/so with a 3 fix, and I believe that this could be why I am the way I am. Can someone give me another example of a 6w7 sx/so with a 3w2 or are there any other 6w7 sx/so's on this site that relate to what I am saying?
    it sounds like you're looking for external stereotypes to find your type when you should be looking for the root cause of your decisions.

  5. #15
    Senior Member The Great One's Avatar
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    @Urarienev
    I could see 693 for you.
    Yeah it fits well.

    Yea, I throw "what makes someone attractive" into the so category. What makes someone attractive is what is "socially the norm" imo. I despise that crap. I would say that the way it goes for me priority wise is: I want to be healthy, as long as I was healthy I wouldn't care how fat I was, then I want to attract someone. I hold both of those priorities high, but I am much less worried about being sexually attractive. I will eventually be with someone. And I'm a girl, it's easy to get laid if I need to. (It might not be as easy for guys, that I don't know.)

    And I would say I devote energy into being sexually attractive. But I don't do it all the time. Like I don't care what I look like at the store or something. Or even work. I have a certain standard, and I don't go below that. But it's minimal energy to uphold that standard. Just once in a while if I like someone, then I will take more time and energy to cater to them.

    The wanting to be sexually attractive is definitely not an So thing. I could POSSIBLY see it as a self-pres thing, but not an So thing. Social people want to be a part of something, they want social acceptance, they want to be included in the world, they want to fit in, etc. I don't even see how the need to want to be sexually attractive is an So thing. In fact, I have had grueling argument after grueling argument with person after person on these personality sites, because I believe that the need to feel sexually attractive, to want to attract a mate, and to be a highly sexual person IS IN FACT an Sx thing. I don't think that I have EVER met a person that is sx last that constantly craves sex, intensity, and relationships. To me, Sx lasts, tend to treat sex like chocolate: they like sex, and it feels good, but they don't NEED IT and it's not a high priority to them.

    Also, I want to be as attractive as possible because I crave intensity: I love the feeling of getting a girlfriend and getting very close to her, looking deeply in her eyes, making love to her, and even cuddling with her. I find that the more sexually attractive I am, the more chance I have of getting women to do this type of thing with me. This is why I am very obsessed with being sexually attractive.

    I also care about being healthy though. Being healthy to me means not experiencing pain, and I'm not a fan of pain. However, I'm not THAT opposed to pain though. For instance, I talk to @Elfboy about this all the time. He hates to even work out because of the pain you feel when working out. I don't mind this type of pain at all, and even welcome it. How do you feel about this? Also, how much energy do you specifically put into being sexually attractive?
    @Azure Flame

    it sounds like you're looking for external stereotypes to find your type when you should be looking for the root cause of your decisions. I can't say I know very many "super ambitious" enneagram 6's at all. Maybe they are, but their "ambition" seems to be more group focussed than self focussed.
    My ambition seems to be centered around becoming as successful as possible to become as sexually attractive to the opposite sex as possible. I guess that my fear could be explained by the fact that I have PTSD? Maybe I am a core 3w2 sx dom?

  6. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Great One View Post
    My ambition seems to be centered around becoming as successful as possible to become as sexually attractive to the opposite sex as possible. I guess that my fear could be explained by the fact that I have PTSD? Maybe I am a core 3w2 sx dom?
    You're onto something.

    Complete the sentence: it makes me upset when people _______

    As for me: pain is mental and I ignore it so long as no irreversible effects are destroying me. As far as looking pretty, I just am because I said so. I joined gymnastics because its graceful yet powerful. I joined martial arts for the same reason. I am a kinesthetic artist with my body, and I acknowledge a certain Feminine or Feline quality about myself all the while blue fire courses through my veins, and just like blue fire I am misleadingly intense. Calming to look at, scorching touch.

    As far as I can tell my Sp blindspot just makes it so I don't go to the bathroom until I'm 2 seconds from wetting myself. *shrug*

    I do not connect pain with instinctual variants but then again I don't know much about them. I attribute susceptibility to pain to functions more than anything.

  7. #17
    Unapologetic being Evolving Transparency's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Great One View Post
    The wanting to be sexually attractive is definitely not an So thing. I could POSSIBLY see it as a self-pres thing, but not an So thing. Social people want to be a part of something, they want social acceptance, they want to be included in the world, they want to fit in, etc. I don't even see how the need to want to be sexually attractive is an So thing. In fact, I have had grueling argument after grueling argument with person after person on these personality sites, because I believe that the need to feel sexually attractive, to want to attract a mate, and to be a highly sexual person IS IN FACT an Sx thing. I don't think that I have EVER met a person that is sx last that constantly craves sex, intensity, and relationships. To me, Sx lasts, tend to treat sex like chocolate: they like sex, and it feels good, but they don't NEED IT and it's not a high priority to them.

    Also, I want to be as attractive as possible because I crave intensity: I love the feeling of getting a girlfriend and getting very close to her, looking deeply in her eyes, making love to her, and even cuddling with her. I find that the more sexually attractive I am, the more chance I have of getting women to do this type of thing with me. This is why I am very obsessed with being sexually attractive.

    I also care about being healthy though. Being healthy to me means not experiencing pain, and I'm not a fan of pain. However, I'm not THAT opposed to pain though. For instance, I talk to @Elfboy about this all the time. He hates to even work out because of the pain you feel when working out. I don't mind this type of pain at all, and even welcome it. How do you feel about this? Also, how much energy do you specifically put into being sexually attractive?
    @Azure Flame
    Hmm. I don't mean to give off the impression that I don't want to attract a mate. I think that I just don't have as much anxiety about it. I know what you mean about so's and sex. I get what you mean, believe me.

    I think I just put "clothes and style" in the so category. For me at least. All that shit is what's in the norm. How to dress, how to wear my hair.

    For example my hair, I like it short. Like boy short. And at first I cared a little about it turning guys off....but I don't have to do a fuckin thing in the morning. I seriously don't know why I had long hair all those years. I am over that anxiety though. If someone doesn't like short hair and that means I'm comfortable but alone...then fine. I'd rather be able to take care of myself at least...than another person. I like everything that you've described...but I just don't hold it as much of a priority. Maybe I used to, but not anymore. I used to be more into relationships and sex and such, but now that I'm not in one, I'm kinda enjoying myself more lol.

    And about the pain... I love the feeling of working out. I love the feeling of being sore the next day. It's the feeling of making progress in my mind. I live for that feeling lol.

    Quote Originally Posted by Azure Flame View Post

    As far as I can tell my Sp blindspot just makes it so I don't go to the bathroom until I'm 2 seconds from wetting myself. *shrug*
    Hilarious.
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  8. #18
    Senior Member The Great One's Avatar
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    @Azure Flame

    You're onto something.

    Complete the sentence: it makes me upset when people hate me, think I'm a loser, think I'm unsuccessful, think that I'm unattractive, and when people betray me.


    As for me: pain is mental and I ignore it so long as no irreversible effects are destroying me. As far as looking pretty, I just am because I said so. I joined gymnastics because its graceful yet powerful. I joined martial arts for the same reason. I am a kinesthetic artist with my body, and I acknowledge a certain Feminine or Feline quality about myself all the while blue fire courses through my veins, and just like blue fire I am misleadingly intense. Calming to look at, scorching touch.
    Yeah I used to be this way. I used to completely neglect what could hurt me. I used to do stupid daredevil shit all the time with no regard for how it could potentially harm my body. However, after being without health insurance for so long, and after seeing just how much medical bills cost, I started taking pain a lot more seriously.

    As far as I can tell my Sp blindspot just makes it so I don't go to the bathroom until I'm 2 seconds from wetting myself. *shrug*

    I do not connect pain with instinctual variants but then again I don't know much about them. I attribute susceptibility to pain to functions more than anything.
    No. The avoidance of pain is definitely a self-pres thing. The self preservation variant wants to preserve their health, and if they are in pain, they are in poor health. This a no, no for people with strong self-pres.


    @Urarienev

    Hmm. I don't mean to give off the impression that I don't want to attract a mate. I think that I just don't have as much anxiety about it. I know what you mean about so's and sex. I get what you mean, believe me.
    Well one thing that angers me about Social first types when it comes to sex and relationships is that they aren't as intense. For example, it seems like when I go on dates with so/sx women, they want me to go out with them and their friends quite often. Then they are the social butterfly and they bounce around the room: they will talk to this person, then that one, and then the next one. It almost feels like I have to catch the so/sx like putting a butterfly in a jar or something. Once you can actually catch them, then just maybe, you can have some intimate moments with them. The so/sp is even worse. When I try to get with a so/sp, it's like they want to talk to everyone: this person, that person, and so on and so forth. They are almost like politicians. I feel like it's hard as hell, if not impossible to have an intense, one-on-one moment with the so/sp types. With the social last types, and with the sx/so it isn't as hard, because they tend to like the one-on-one interaction style.

    I think I just put "clothes and style" in the so category. For me at least. All that shit is what's in the norm. How to dress, how to wear my hair.

    For example my hair, I like it short. Like boy short. And at first I cared a little about it turning guys off....but I don't have to do a fuckin thing in the morning. I seriously don't know why I had long hair all those years. I am over that anxiety though. If someone doesn't like short hair and that means I'm comfortable but alone...then fine. I'd rather be able to take care of myself at least...than another person
    Well the stuff that you mentioned, I would also put in the Social category. When I was referring to looking sexually attractive, I was referring more to looking fit and trim, having nicely styled hair, being hygienic, possibly for women putting on make up, etc. Basically I was referring to looking physically appealing in order to attract a mate. I wasn't referring to following the latest styles, wearing the popular haircuts, getting the most popular purse, or getting the "in style" shoes. All of this is related to the social variant, yes.

    However, I often question whether I am sx/so or sx/sp. I don't feel as though I need to "fit in" so to say. However, I do tend to know what the social trends are. I am very active on Facebook and I tend to watch celebrity gossip shows such as TMZ quite often. I don't think that I do this to check up on what's going on socially though. I think that I do this to fantasize about what it would be like to live the lifestyles of the rich and famous. I've always wanted to be ubberly successful: kind of successful doesn't cut it for me, and I need loads of success. I need to have lots of money, gorgeous women around me, a very nice house, a nice car, etc. Watching celebrity shows kind of shows me what that kind of life would be like, and therefore I believe that I use these shows as a way to fantasize.

    And about the pain... I love the feeling of working out. I love the feeling of being sore the next day. It's the feeling of making progress in my mind. I live for that feeling lol.

    Yeah I like the pain too. I think Elfboy just hates it because he has HSP (he is a highly sensitive person). No seriously, according to him, it's a real medical condition.

  9. #19
    Unapologetic being Evolving Transparency's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Great One View Post

    Well one thing that angers me about Social first types when it comes to sex and relationships is that they aren't as intense. For example, it seems like when I go on dates with so/sx women, they want me to go out with them and their friends quite often. Then they are the social butterfly and they bounce around the room: they will talk to this person, then that one, and then the next one. It almost feels like I have to catch the so/sx like putting a butterfly in a jar or something. Once you can actually catch them, then just maybe, you can have some intimate moments with them. The so/sp is even worse. When I try to get with a so/sp, it's like they want to talk to everyone: this person, that person, and so on and so forth. They are almost like politicians. I feel like it's hard as hell, if not impossible to have an intense, one-on-one moment with the so/sp types. With the social last types, and with the sx/so it isn't as hard, because they tend to like the one-on-one interaction style.
    Hmm...socials are def not as intense about sex, ime. But I'm not sure how they are when working a room.

    I know that they like to keep the group positive. But I never paid attention to their other characteristics...

    Well the stuff that you mentioned, I would also put in the Social category. When I was referring to looking sexually attractive, I was referring more to looking fit and trim, having nicely styled hair, being hygienic, possibly for women putting on make up, etc. Basically I was referring to looking physically appealing in order to attract a mate. I wasn't referring to following the latest styles, wearing the popular haircuts, getting the most popular purse, or getting the "in style" shoes. All of this is related to the social variant, yes.
    Yea, I don't wear a lot of make up. Hmm. lol I don't think that I fit with this sx thing in that regard. I dress up to feel sexy for me actually. Now that I think about it more. I mean, if I know I'm going on a date or going to meet a guy, I will probably put more energy into it. But I would put just as much energy into that as I would for going out dancing, just for myself. I probably have to think about this some more. This is a hard one.

    However, I often question whether I am sx/so or sx/sp. I don't feel as though I need to "fit in" so to say. However, I do tend to know what the social trends are. I am very active on Facebook and I tend to watch celebrity gossip shows such as TMZ quite often. I don't think that I do this to check up on what's going on socially though. I think that I do this to fantasize about what it would be like to live the lifestyles of the rich and famous. I've always wanted to be ubberly successful: kind of successful doesn't cut it for me, and I need loads of success. I need to have lots of money, gorgeous women around me, a very nice house, a nice car, etc. Watching celebrity shows kind of shows me what that kind of life would be like, and therefore I believe that I use these shows as a way to fantasize.
    That sounds more 3-ish I think.

    Yeah I like the pain too. I think Elfboy just hates it because he has HSP (he is a highly sensitive person). No seriously, according to him, it's a real medical condition.
    Yea, I have heard of HSP
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  10. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Great One View Post
    Well I think that a lot of the "harmony" that you seek with others is due to your 9 fix.
    Yes, I am sure you are very correct about that.

    I also like to create harmony with those around me as well. However, I like intimacy to happen VERY quickly. It's not just about sex either, it's just bonding with the other person in general. In fact, I'm often angered by many sx second types because it's like they also want the intimacy, but they just want it to happen too damn slow. I HATE IT! I feel like when I'm courting another SX dom, things can just happen at a rapid pace, which is my natural pace.
    Lol, yeah. I feel the opposite, like it's too fast for me. I need time for my whole self, subconscious and all, to make a shift on that scale of magnitude. But I'm glad that there are others like you who are on your page, and others like me who are on mine. My Sp/Soc needed even more time than I did. And my Soc/Sp friend is like molasses.

    I'm often like a politician that is always trying to keep a good standing with everyone and keep up a good image. I try not to get large groups of people on my bad side because I understand how that could be harmful to myself.
    This does sound Social and 6 to me. (Not necessarily Soc-dom)

    Well one thing that angers me about Social first types when it comes to sex and relationships is that they aren't as intense. For example, it seems like when I go on dates with so/sx women, they want me to go out with them and their friends quite often. Then they are the social butterfly and they bounce around the room: they will talk to this person, then that one, and then the next one. It almost feels like I have to catch the so/sx like putting a butterfly in a jar or something. Once you can actually catch them, then just maybe, you can have some intimate moments with them. The so/sp is even worse. When I try to get with a so/sp, it's like they want to talk to everyone: this person, that person, and so on and so forth. They are almost like politicians. I feel like it's hard as hell, if not impossible to have an intense, one-on-one moment with the so/sp types. With the social last types, and with the sx/so it isn't as hard, because they tend to like the one-on-one interaction style.
    To explain this, as a Social-first you are blatantly aware of your social surroundings and are very aware of your presence in them. So a Soc-dom won't be able to just pass through a crowd of people they know and ignore them without feeling keenly aware that they're ignoring them. So even though maybe I'd prefer to just socialize with my boyfriend at a certain point (and sometimes in social settings I do choose to hang behind him and let him take the lead), I'd feel very irresponsible and kind of like a jerk if I didn't acknowledge others who I had relationships with that were in my environment. It's essentially a compulsion. So that still might bother you, of course, but at least you can see how it's not really a voluntary sort of thing. It's not generally for the pure enjoyment of it (though it can be enjoyable), but because of a sense of "need". I kind of think of the variants as different pairs of glasses we put on that highlight different things. For the Sx-dom, certain priorities light up; for the Soc-dom and Sp-dom other priorities light up. Soc glasses just make you painfully aware of the environmental interactions going on, the who and what and how. Sx glasses make you painfully aware of the quality/chemistry/intensity of those interactions, I think.

    following the latest styles, wearing the popular haircuts, getting the most popular purse, or getting the "in style" shoes. All of this is related to the social variant, yes.
    I might assign "awareness of trends" to Social, but not necessarily following trends. Any Social with e4 in their tritype isn't going to be particularly fond of just going with the mainstream, after all, and I know there are plenty of others. I think Socials are just more likely to be aware which trends they are picking and choosing to follow.

    Social people want to be a part of something, they want social acceptance, they want to be included in the world, they want to fit in, etc.


    I don't even see how the need to want to be sexually attractive is an So thing.
    Well, it does have some social advantages. Puts you in a more influential position... gets you favors... attention... likeability. It's sad but it's true.

    I do think there can also be a significant social component to relationships, at least longer-term, more permanent ones. Sexual attraction is important to me personally because I do want a sexual relationship, but also because I want a sexual relationship to be a part of a larger, more encompassing romantic relationship that also evolves into a permanent relationship and continuation of my family. For me it's a facet of the bigger picture. I feel like that's a very Soc > Sx way to look at things. I am fairly sure my Sp/Soc boyfriend (Sp > Soc > Sx) also feels similar.

    I believe that the need to feel sexually attractive, to want to attract a mate, and to be a highly sexual person IS IN FACT an Sx thing.
    I think you're generally right about Sx-last, but I also do think that all of these things - to want to be attractive, to want a mate, and to be sexual - are fairly fundamental to the human experience. Of course there are some people (asexuals, eg) for whom this does not count, but in general, I think it is fairly common.

    Quote Originally Posted by Urarienev View Post
    Yea, I throw "what makes someone attractive" into the so category. What makes someone attractive is what is "socially the norm" imo. I despise that crap.
    Ehhh. Again, maybe somewhat, but it's too superficial. Attractiveness is so complex and there are so many levels it takes place on. And again no self-respecting Social with e4 in their tritype is going to take kindly to the idea of just going along with a trend. I just don't think that being mainstream is a Social thing. Maybe Socials are more aware and attuned to it, and maybe there are more Soc-doms who are like that, but I don't think all the connotations of superficiality and normalcy and fads being linked to Soc-dom is accurate.

    Quote Originally Posted by valaki View Post
    What was her gut fix?
    I would assume e8.

    Anyway TGO... point being... I don't know, at one point I thought Sp/Sx for you but now maybe Sx/So. I just don't see you having that high of an intensity level. It seems like you want intensity but on here you don't come across as intense. And I'm not really sure how to rectify that.

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