hello all you beautiful people in here!
it took me ages to gather all the data i could before reaching out to you for help, knowing that most of you, if not all, have better things to do than typing someone you don't even know. i am hoping though that there's someone here who might see what i must be overlooking.
my story is a rather plain one. i've known about mbti for a year or two now, possibly more than that. after a brief episode of mistyping as an enfp caused by my wish and believe that i should be an extrovert, i accepted the fact that i need way more time to myself than some of my friends can handle being on their own. i stopped pretending that people don't tire me out, took the test once more a while later and landed a pretty strong infp. i even double checked it a few times over time and it was always, ever since, infp. even now, even today it is infp.
the thing is, quite accidentally, i came across an isfp profile description, and upon reading it i became a little bit confused. the more i tried to distinguish those two types for myself, the more confused i got, the more of myself i saw in both and simultaneously in neither. if that even makes sense.
or perhaps i'm a completely different type.
i daydream a lot, i space out like crazy, i think about weird concepts, but also about my past and present, i read books a lot, i like writing, i do enjoy learning new theories, i'm not so great with details, i did love studying when i was at school, i had straight A's most of my life. i'm quite dreadful at small talk, although three years of Uni have cetrainly helped me develop some survival skills at 'non-deep' conversations, which used to be very tiring to me. now i am actually so distrustful that i won't talk to anyone about 'deep' things unless i know they're alright with it.
i need to know what my values are.
yet, I don't try to convince others or fight in their defence. i'm more interested in them because I realise they change as i get older, and i just like to know what it is for myself, in order to be at peace, in order to know what i'm doing.
i hate conflicts.
i'm a dancer, and i spend most of my free time dancing. i don't only dance because it conveys ideas and can make people think (although I certainly would like to be able to say that, and although it is definitely one of the reasons). i dance because for me there's no other feeling like it, because all of my senses are hightened, I get to perceive everything around me like i can't at any other time, because i get to perceive my body in such a detail it almost blinds me, and because that's when i'm truly in the moment.
i respond a lot to how a person smells.
i have no idea what i want or should want of my future, although i do think about it most of the times it's too scary and i'm just trying to hope whatever i'm doing will turn out alright.
i am a big procrastinator, but when i really want something, i'll do whatever it takes, i'll even set up a routine (something i've always hated). i'll practise every day if that's what it takes.
i also like learning skills, like a foreign language, or juggling.
and although i'm not so much of a clean person, and my room can be a mess, i spent most of my christmas holiday time organising my clothes and books based on their colours. and it's a thing i stick to. actually a lot of the times i do feel the want to clean, but it's just not as strong as the comfort of my bed. which i'm not sure is either infp or ispf. it's probably called lazy. and when i do clean i can easily overlook a messy bit.
similarly to my wardrobe. i do pay attention to what i wear, although there always seems to be a part of my wardrobe that I forget to consider, and i.e. i end up wearing dirty shoes until someone points it out to me. and then it might take me another few days/weeks to take care of it.
my mind tends to hop between random topics finding links that no one else seems to notice. which I imagine is a common thing for most people anyway.
on the other hand, my friends have noticed that when I make up my mind i tend to talk very decisively (among the people I trust, may I add), i.e. if something isn't very intelligent i'll just say 'that's stupid', period, in what apparently is a rather authoritative state-of-a-fact tone. Eventhough I think i'm just voicing my opinion.
i was trying to limit those observations to what i thought might shed some light on why i'm not sure anymore which type i am... of course there's more but I was kind of hoping this would be enough because I already feel uttely stupid for sharing such infantile uninteresting ramblings...