Disclaimer: How are you doing? Are there any major life events/illnesses/other issues that might be influencing you? Did you write this in one sitting, or have you pondered these issues deeply? Give us a sense of "where you're at" right now.
I'm doing pretty well. I don't feel my answers would be unusably tainted by my current mood or life circumstances. I'm probably going to write this in one sitting, although the answers have percolated for years.
(Note that some of these issues may be very personal, and if you'd prefer not to share, it's perfectly acceptable to skip questions.)
0. What's making you unsure of your type? What research have you already done to determine type?
The multiplicity of information makes me doubt my type. I've read Palmer, Naranjo and Riso and Hudson on the enneagram side and mainly internet sources like Personality Junkie and Keys to Cognition on the Jung/MBTI side. That said, I have gone through Psychological Types.
1. Establish a "baseline mood"--when you're at home with nothing to do, where are you at mentally and emotionally? What do you notice in yourself? (Note, this is not a mood you inhabit "frequently", but your psychological baseline).
I would put my baseline mood at around a 5/10. I've gotten used to having to work for any ounce of satisfaction I can muster. There are probably folks who are naturally exuberant; I, on the contrary, wake up feeling perhaps a 2/10, then a 7/10 post-carbs and post-coffee.
2. Describe yourself--
a. What's it like to be you? Well, I'm pretty intellectual, original, sensitive, libertarian, sometimes sarcastic, romantic and scholarly.
b. What have others said about you? My dad recently described me as quirky, intellectual and reclusive.
c. What do you think of yourself? I'm comfortable with my current circumstances, although I could envision traveling and dating more soon.
3. What are the issues you've dealt with in life? List some recurrent themes, and tell us a little about each one.
4. You're not good at everything--
a. What personality traits and/or ways of being are impossible for you to adopt? I'm not that concerned about having a traditional job or family before age 30. I would say I also have a low tolerance for ignorance and deception, especially in the media.
b. What are qualities you'd like to have, but can't seem to develop? I would like to be more adventurous and trusting in life.
5. Why have you left friends and other relationships in the past and/or why have they left you?
6. Which types do you identify with most? INXX types probably. Possibly some IXFX as well.
a. How do you relate to these types? They're reflective and goofy and basically misfits like I am.
b. How do you NOT relate to them? I just said I do.
7. Which types are least like you? Probably ESXP types; they're fine in small doses.
a. Why specifically do you not relate to these types? The whole sensation seeking without analyzing life or patterns in oneself.
b. What points (if any) DO you relate to? The pushing-the-envelope aspect of their personalities.
8. They claim enneagram type is a hidden love need. What are your attitudes toward finding love?
That's complicated. I feel you have to find yourself first before you can contribute anything worthwhile. I feel uneasy just seeing people looking to validate themselves or find a shortcut to self-development via relationships. It doesn't tend to end well.
9. What is the message your superego tells you?
Maybe to be kind and tolerant towards people with divergent lifestyles or attitudes. I've come to see other people, analogically, as inhabiting various stages of a video game; some are advanced, others not really.
For the following, rank the issues in the order they apply and give a brief description of why and how you relate.
10. Determine your ego ideal--the way you strive to be and want others to perceive you. (Note, you may be consciously aware of failing at this, and you will be hard on yourself if you do. If someone else tells you you're NOT this way, it may make you feel hurt, violated, or angry.)
Which of the following ideals resonate with you the most, and why? Rank them.
- to be "okay", having it together
- to be devoted and loyal to a person or cause
- to be sensitive, original, unique, and creative
- to be knowlegeable
- to be powerful, strong, unassailable.
- to be accomplished and successful
- to strive to become/behave like a good person
- to be a loveable person
- to be loving and benevolent
I relate to being ok, sensitive, knowledgeable, somewhat powerful, somewhat accomplished, and maybe socially benevolent. I don't relate to being devoted or loyal.
11. Determine your "felt sense" of life. To do this it may help to look at how you perceive events. Another way to do this is to look back at your childhood and think of all the things your parents did to you. How did you/do you feel about these events?
Here are some common "felt senses" of life:
- I must do everything to maintain my world
- I have a sense of being unimportant, insignificant, and underving of attention
- I feel imperfect, not (good) enough
- I have been abandoned and I am inherently flawed
- I'm outside the natural unfoldment of things
- People have wronged and messed with me
- I feel isolated, cut off, and ultimately separate
- I have felt weak and/or vulnerable to attack
- I've had a sense of being ejectable
I would say fairly isolated, some of which is self-induced, and I wouldn't (obviously) want to be manipulated or abandoned by someone whom I loved.
12. Core fears. You may have been aware of these fears even as a very small child, before anyone did anything to influence it. You'd be mortified to be in this position or have others perceive you this way.
Discuss which fears have played the greatest role in your life:
- Creating conflict by making myself or my needs too obvious
- Rejection, being needy, and not being loved
- Weak and not being on top of things
- Being abandoned, sadness, feeling lost
- Entanglements and losing what I have
- Something is basically wrong with me--I'm not good enough
- Boredom, grunt work, and being exposed as a charlatan
- A lot--everything and everyone to one degree or another. It's very generalized.
I kinda relate to the boredom and grunt work thing - I alluded to this before but getting caught up in a 9-5 for two generations would suck. Obviously, I wouldn't also want to be perceived as discombobulated; I'd also want to sidestep being depressed or feeling lost for years on end.