I did one of these threads before, but I’m trying one more time to see if I can get a consensus about my type, if I have one. I’ve been given everything from INFJ to INTP as a possible type, but doing research, I can see that they’re totally different types. I am kind of obsessive about getting to the root of the truth, whatever that truth might be, too, so that's another reason for asking for a reassessment. If you have any further thoughts, please let me know!
Anyways, some more things about me:
• I get very obsessive about a lot of things.
• I constantly second-guess myself, particularly about social interaction, which I’m not good at keeping up.
• Better at understanding the rules of social interaction and have better theory of mind than many people with Asperger's.
• Terrible at maintaining conversation with people, even though I desperately want to connect. I see people making connections with others and maintain that trajectory over the course of whatever relationship they have, and I wonder why that can’t be me.
• I started writing this book about my experience with AS. I’ve been through a lot, and I want to share my experience with other people. My experience is atypical, but I hope I can help inspire people in some way or help others understand AS a bit better. Asperger’s and autism are a kind of special interest for me.
• I think of myself as being one of the most self-centered people I know.
• I just don’t share a lot about myself with others, even though I know that if I did, I’d have better relationships with them.
• When I get tired, I zone out.
• When I get hooked on a subject, I can’t stop until I’ve learned everything I possibly can about it. I’m like a vacuum cleaner in that way.
• I have been writing a lot about bullies recently—in my journal, in this book I’m writing—for I have been bullied a lot over time. It struck me that the reason that bullies do what they do is that everyone deals with their own set of challenges—in school, at home, etc—and that they sometimes take their anger and pain out on other people. It doesn’t make their behavior excusable, but it gives me a way of potentially understanding their point of view.
• I’m such a perfectionist that sometimes I want to take everything I’ve written and chuck it out the window.
• I am obsessed with not appearing hypocritical, but I often am that way.