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  1. #1

    Default whats my enneagram type? help :(

    hello people
    I discovered the enneagram two years ago, I first typed myself, but got confused. I think Im something 1, 4, 5, 6 or 9. But the internet descriptions are all somehow inaccurate and they all tell something else. I read two books about the enneagram, I seemed to identify myself with the intentions of type 2, wanting to be loved, admired, manipulating people in liking me, but Im really not the helper type, and Im somehow a bit antisocial.

    Some input from me which maybe helps to figure it out?
    What first comes in my mind when I would have to describe my "peculiarities" is that Im veeery distant toward others. But if I really really like someone Ill get clingy. I somehow have a great fear of losing someone, dissapointing someone, I think that I dont deserve to be loved if Im not perfect. So if someone I love tells me that Ill do something wrong, I will work it out, if it doesnt work out the first time I will probably begin to cry, feel guilty.
    Im really sensitive but I try to not show it. In groups I often say mean things ot something that is shallow as hell, but I think I do this to hide my oversensitivity.
    I feel smothered very easily, if Im staying too long with the same person I find the need to distance and withdraw into another group. So in school; I often were the kid who went from group to group.

    I think Im hypersensitive; Im sensitive to touch, to noise and things a like. I cant stand it If Im touched without me really wanting it. I hate that, I also hate crowds.
    I get nervous if an emotional reaction is expected, I dont like it if people expect me to tell or show them how I feel. And it also seems like no one really knows me (even if I tell them everything from my past what I can think of) and I think thats because I always keep my real feelings and thoughts to myself.

    The other side of my personality is that I always appear to be a thinker (to others), I have teachers telling me that I have a male brain, that Im an analytical, logical thinker, that my questions are very good and that my point of view is .."different", but definitely true. Im kind of naturally intelligent, especially in subjects like chemistry, biology and maths.
    But altough Im rather doing well in school, school makes me feel anxious and stressed. I always have fear that Ill forget something and to dissapoint teachers that I like. I had so much stress that I broke down crying for a few days. But that was because I nearly had no alone time for myself, school pressure and christmas pressure. I like to assure that everything is done and that nothing is forgotten.

    I dont know what else I could say, Id hope somebody could tell me what they think?

  2. #2
    Senior Member Alea_iacta_est's Avatar
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    1w2 with definite features of 3, that is certain. 1w2 - 3w2 - ?w? is my guess so far.

    I would use my same method as I did on the thread above (but now below after this post) this, but you have knowledge of the Enneagram system and you would be influenced by biases as I would be.

    You display the 1 idea of trying to be perfect and are hard on yourself if you don't find an answer to problems, i.e. crying and guilt. The 2 wing is there because you seem to be altruistic features that are supported by emotional hypersensitivity.

    The three is evident by your fear of failure, and you possess emotional hypersensitivity yet at the same time emotional poverty when someone expects emotion is typical of a 3 (and 5), for they attempt to deaden their emotions so that they can't feel their fears of rejection and criticism.

    Now, you have problems giving an emotional reaction when requested of one, and you have a tendency of withdrawing when you feel you are being "smothered". I say this is a type 5 reaction, for all type 5s want to be seen as independent and dislike what you describe as "smothering" (Type 5 fixation for austerity and efficiency), and also the fact that you think no one truly knows you (also evident by what could be described as the hoarding of your thoughts and ideas to yourself). Another thing to note is that type 5s love to detach from situations and suppress their emotional biases to find an objective answer, if you do this, then you most likely have 5 in your trifix.

    Currently I think you are a 1w2 - 3w2 - 5w?.

    Now for the last number, do you seek emotional/physical support from people and desire to trust others or are you more hoarding of your emotions and cherishing of them for yourself?

  3. #3

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    Thanks for the answer. I thought of being a 1 so far. But Im not sure about the 2, because 2s are generally more extrovert, generous and helping. Whereas I can appear to be the opposite, but maybe because Im drained so easily. But if I really really like someone I can be very altruistic I think. Then Id probably do anything to make them feel good and keep them. I typed myself as 2w1 before and I heard several people here say that they really dont think that Im somewhat like a two, because I described myself as kind of antisocial and withdrawing in a certain way.

    And I never thought of being a 3? Or having it in my trifix.

    And for the 1, Im not really sure. Im very perfectionistic, but more in how others see me, how I see me (high expectations) but thats more in things like character, looks and so on. With school Im performing really bad right now, I had one A, the most were Bs and if I get a a C or something I feel really bad. But ok thats probably even more of perfectionism. I just wanted to mention that I feel easily drained and then I cant do anything productive. I hardly had time for myself in the last months, because Im trying to meet my boyfriend regularly, and I try to not forget my friends. So this made me a bit worse in school.


    I seek emotional support, yes. But just from a few selected ones. Like I said, if I really really like someone I get clingy. ( but theres just one person who "made" me cling to him) I usually hoard my thoughts and feelings, but if I tell you soemthing then I think you should feel special and honor it, because I usually dont do things like this. But If I do so, Im expecting support, and that I can trust that someone.

  4. #4
    Senior Member Alea_iacta_est's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lume View Post
    Thanks for the answer. I thought of being a 1 so far. But Im not sure about the 2, because 2s are generally more extrovert, generous and helping. Whereas I can appear to be the opposite, but maybe because Im drained so easily. But if I really really like someone I can be very altruistic I think. Then Id probably do anything to make them feel good and keep them. I typed myself as 2w1 before and I heard several people here say that they really dont think that Im somewhat like a two, because I described myself as kind of antisocial and withdrawing in a certain way.

    And I never thought of being a 3? Or having it in my trifix.

    And for the 1, Im not really sure. Im very perfectionistic, but more in how others see me, how I see me (high expectations) but thats more in things like character, looks and so on. With school Im performing really bad right now, I had one A, the most were Bs and if I get a a C or something I feel really bad. But ok thats probably even more of perfectionism. I just wanted to mention that I feel easily drained and then I cant do anything productive. I hardly had time for myself in the last months, because Im trying to meet my boyfriend regularly, and I try to not forget my friends. So this made me a bit worse in school.


    I seek emotional support, yes. But just from a few selected ones. Like I said, if I really really like someone I get clingy. ( but theres just one person who "made" me cling to him) I usually hoard my thoughts and feelings, but if I tell you soemthing then I think you should feel special and honor it, because I usually dont do things like this. But If I do so, Im expecting support, and that I can trust that someone.
    The bold statement is literally the essence of a 3.

    I still suggest 3w2 and even move that to the dominant fix of the tritype because you want to be successful in how you appear to others, and I may have been overplaying the perfectionist mantra of the 1, I don't know if you have a strong moral code or anything, which is the main focus of the 1.

    I'm thinking this is what we've got so far: 3w2 - 5w6 - 9w1

    I say 9w1 for the last fix now because I really don't see you being an 8 at all unless you are counter-passion, and I don't think you are a 1 any longer, so you may be a type 9, do you somewhat dislike conflict of any kind?

  5. #5

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    But isnt 3 more of an extrovert type? Im really really introvert, shy and socially awkward.

    And yes, I do have a moral code somewhat. Since I was little I couldnt stand lying, or doing things that are bad. I want to be seen as the good kid/person as Im not a kid anymore. Its really important to be honest for me.

    And yes, I think I avoid conflict. Or if someones angry at me I try to make it stop as soon as possible because I just cant stand the tension. So if Im having arguments with someone I usually feel that guilty that I break the contact and withdraw completely, because I cant stand what Ive done, I cant stand arguments. So if I can abandon that someone from my life I will do that, because having contact with that one always reminds me how bad I am. But I dont know if thats a 9 thing?

  6. #6
    Senior Member Alea_iacta_est's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lume View Post
    But isnt 3 more of an extrovert type? Im really really introvert, shy and socially awkward.

    And yes, I do have a moral code somewhat. Since I was little I couldnt stand lying, or doing things that are bad. I want to be seen as the good kid/person as Im not a kid anymore. Its really important to be honest for me.

    And yes, I think I avoid conflict. Or if someones angry at me I try to make it stop as soon as possible because I just cant stand the tension. So if Im having arguments with someone I usually feel that guilty that I break the contact and withdraw completely, because I cant stand what Ive done, I cant stand arguments. So if I can abandon that someone from my life I will do that, because having contact with that one always reminds me how bad I am. But I dont know if thats a 9 thing?
    No idea on the last part but the rest resonates 9.

    Not all 3s are extroverted, that's just a stereotype. Also, notice in your trifix that you have one of the assertive types, 3, paired with 2 of the recluse types, 5 and 9, meaning that you are going to be more withdrawn than the rest of your 3 colleagues. Here's the description of the 3-5-9 Thinker Tritype, see if it matches up at all. Also note that you could be a counterpassion 3, or what I have called on the counter-vice thread the counter-deceit 3. The counter-deceit 3 actually goes against manipulating people and strives to tell the truth and be honest in all situations, but they do still have the ambition to achieve success.


  7. #7
    Senior Member Hypatia's Avatar
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    3-6-1.

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