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INFJ, INFP or something else? help :(

lume

New member
Joined
Oct 18, 2013
Messages
62
Hello guys, this is my second thread in this forum if thats something I should mention.
I made a thread earlier and I thought I could actually pin me down to INFJ (2w1). But after watching my behaviour lately Im not sure anymore.

I would just tell why I think I am an INFJ and why not or at least I will try to put this in a proper structure
I dont think that I fully understand Ni, but I think Ni wants to find every hidden meaning, going into great depths - thats totally appliable for me, (we had a parent conference day lately and every teacher said that Im very smart and that I want to know everything, asking a lot of (very good) questions, one teacher even said that its a joy to have me in his class because I often point out views on an issue that are right but the teacher himself hadnt thought about before)
Another teacher told me that she thinks that my brain functions like a mans brain (Im a 17-year old girl btw :) ) and that my questions are really analytic and logic. And so do I, I think Im very analytic, and my brain is thinking all the time.

Im really into things like science, Id like to study chemistry and things alike.

Im definitely an introvert, and I get drained so much when Im around others, especially girls my age. Because all they talk about is make up, their hair, their 789 ex boyfriends, their current boyfriends, how their nailpolish matches with their dresses and things alike. If I just have to listen to such conversations I freak the fuck out. Thats just so shallow. Im rather antisocial and I really want to change that, but how should I do that if every singlke time I make a new friend they annoy me within the first month because all they are is shallow, and easy to figure out.

Maybe that all makes me seem like Im rather a thinker than a feeler, but Im also so sensitive, so extremely. If someone yells at me I begin to cry.
My boyfriend (hes really the most important person in my life) got yelled at by his father the other day and I just started crying because I felt how terrible he was feeling. And Im also so sensitive to touch, I dont like crowds, I hate them. I dont like being touched when people are talking to me. I feel smothered and will withdraw from them.

I have like 3 people who dont annoy me, the others are all sooo extreemely draining.

But I feel the vibes in groups, I can easily figure out who is the "groupruler", which power whom has. But just as long as Im not emotionally engaged in these kind of situations. Then my decisions will be the worst ever because I start feeling. I often try to distance myself from my feeling side because its just so strong and every emotion is so overwhelming if I wouldnt try to stop it a bit.

I can be cold as ice if someone hurts me, if this is the case I will instantly neglect this person and ignore him or her like forever. I dont like to show my feelings, yet if someone knows me well they can read everything straight of my face. I cant hide my feelings altough I would want to do that. Its just impossible.

Im also very moody and perfectionistic, Ive got so high standards for myself and therefore for others aswell. If someone doesnt fits my idea of "perfection" I get really angry. Im very bad temperamented.


I hope someone can help me figure it out, because I just cant let the topic MBTI go without being 100% sure which type I am. Its not letting me go :shock:

And Im sorry if my english is bad, its just a second language

Thanks a lot!
 

thoughtlost

Honeyed Water
Joined
May 20, 2013
Messages
745
Enneagram
N/A
It's interesting that you've typed as 2w1 and that you call yourself anti-social...
 

lume

New member
Joined
Oct 18, 2013
Messages
62
It's interesting that you've typed as 2w1 and that you call yourself anti-social...

yeah, I probably shouldve explained that. I read a book by Helen Palmer, and all the intentions and needs of type 2 seemed to describe me so well. Yes, I described myself as anti social, I have non existing people skills, I had depression and things alike. Very bad things happened to me and it made me distance myself to cope with all that. And I really need being loved and admired, Im playing nice and sometimed a bit stupid when Im around others to be liked. And it often works. Im often described as cute and so nice and I really try to make friends, but after some time has passed they begin to annoy me and they become so intrusive. I can be the nicest person if I want to, but when things annoy me I can get really angry, things are bottling up inside of me, I feel smothered and then I just start ignoring people. Im an strong introvert and people drain me.

Yes, the typing is probably false, but I identified with type twos thoughts and some kind of behaviour. In the book there was an example of typical two behaviour; they want to know if someone would have want to have sex with them but they dont want to have sex with them.
Its like my whole life in a single statement, I always want people to like and admire me, I can read how I need to be to be liked and I will transform myself into that, after Im admired or loved I lose interest, feel smothered and just ignore them.
 

thoughtlost

Honeyed Water
Joined
May 20, 2013
Messages
745
Enneagram
N/A
OK. Well, I don't see anything that says INFJ right away...

uumm.... how are you like around your family?
 

lume

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Oct 18, 2013
Messages
62
OK. Well, I don't see anything that says INFJ right away...

uumm.... how are you like around your family?

I cut off the contact to my father when I was 12, because he hurt me really badly. He always lied to me, he was never there for me, I trusted him and he let me down so many times. Its a bit complicated and I dont know if its important so Ill just end this story there. My mother also kind of neglected me as a child because she went partying and stuff. I was often alone at home and had to take care for myself, I even had to care for my doctors appointments (I have a few bad health issues) because my mother always forgot. So thats the reason why Im very distant to her. She has a baby now and a new man and we live in a house now, so she can make it all up like were a happy family, but I simply dont stand this. She gets angry at me for isolating myself from them, so I sometimes try to talk to them and help them in the household. But I dont really ...care for them. If you know what I mean.
 

thoughtlost

Honeyed Water
Joined
May 20, 2013
Messages
745
Enneagram
N/A
I cut off the contact to my father when I was 12, because he hurt me really badly. He always lied to me, he was never there for me, I trusted him and he let me down so many times. Its a bit complicated and I dont know if its important so Ill just end this story there. My mother also kind of neglected me as a child because she went partying and stuff. I was often alone at home and had to take care for myself, I even had to care for my doctors appointments (I have a few bad health issues) because my mother always forgot. So thats the reason why Im very distant to her. She has a baby now and a new man and we live in a house now, so she can make it all up like were a happy family, but I simply dont stand this. She gets angry at me for isolating myself from them, so I sometimes try to talk to them and help them in the household. But I dont really ...care for them. If you know what I mean.

I know what you mean. You do not have to go into too much detail if you do not want to... I understand as it is.

...I do think you're an introvert, one that uses feeling as a judging function... *still thinking*

Why do you want to know you're type?
 

lume

New member
Joined
Oct 18, 2013
Messages
62
I just found this MBTI and Enneagram typology one or two years ago, and I just wasnt able to tell which type I am. I cant let it go if I dont fully understand it. And I also think that there are many coherences between enneagram and mbti, like if youre an INFJ 6 youre different from INFJ 4 - yes thats logically but if you take the instictual variants too its getting difficult. ( think that many people dont see that if theyre typing someone but I think that this matters too) I just want to fully understand how all that works with me. And I think i will never stop wondering if I cant figure this out :mellow:
 
I

Infinite Bubble

Guest
Eenie meenie miney mo, erm, it landed on INFP.

Don't worry, it's not that arbitrary.

 

thoughtlost

Honeyed Water
Joined
May 20, 2013
Messages
745
Enneagram
N/A
I just found this MBTI and Enneagram typology one or two years ago, and I just wasnt able to tell which type I am. I cant let it go if I dont fully understand it. And I also think that there are many coherences between enneagram and mbti, like if youre an INFJ 6 youre different from INFJ 4 - yes thats logically but if you take the instictual variants too its getting difficult. ( think that many people dont see that if theyre typing someone but I think that this matters too) I just want to fully understand how all that works with me. And I think i will never stop wondering if I cant figure this out :mellow:

It sounds like you want to understand yourself better. You're right, there is a lot that goes into personality and who you are ...so take it easy. You're very young so there will be a lot to learn as time goes on. Also, I really hope someone comes a long to help you out because I am sort of stuck now... but if I had to guess from what I have read, I'd say ISFP
 

lume

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Oct 18, 2013
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I think the overall description of ISFPs have always fit me very well, and also ISFj fits me perfectly in socionics, so that would be ISFP. But I dont think that Im using Se at all. And what sets me wondering is that I am always the smart one, wanting to know everything, understanding maths and chemistry easily. (Im not sure if that could be appliable for having Fi and Se) Im always kind of thinking but I can be so sensitive at times. It just dont makes sense :(
 

thoughtlost

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745
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I think the overall description of ISFPs have always fit me very well, and also ISFj fits me perfectly in socionics, so that would be ISFP. But I dont think that Im using Se at all. And what sets me wondering is that I am always the smart one, wanting to know everything, understanding maths and chemistry easily. (Im not sure if that could be appliable for having Fi and Se) Im always kind of thinking but I can be so sensitive at times. It just dont makes sense :(

Yeah, I don't feel like any function can explain why you're good at science or why you're so smart.

....do you really care for these subjects? How does schooling make you feel? What would you do if school never existed?
 

lume

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Oct 18, 2013
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What it always seems like is that I want to go into depth, if something interests me I want to know everything into great detail. I really care for chemistry because it just interests me, I think chemistry is everywhere, our whole planet is chemistry, and science in general. You can explain so much if you know much about science. I just really like that. Also biology. Maths is kind of ..our teacher is really bad, I dont listen to him, Im learning everything from my mathsbook at home and Ill have an A, B or C on the exam.
But schooling makes me feel kinda sad and exhausted. I dont really get along with others, as I said I try to but Im so easily drained. But on the other hand Im sad if I dont get along with them. Its like pulling someone to me and then pushing them away. (with schoolmates) I do that all the time. But school makes me anxious, these days we had so much pressure that I broke down crying today.
Im really lazy, I dont study much for exams but Im good, but we do get a lot of homework and things to do and Im always scared that Ill forget something, making teachers angry at me. I think if I werent "naturally smart" I woulndt still go to school.
 

lume

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Oct 18, 2013
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so what I meant with being lazy, I am lazy. But theres also this inner voice that makes me do all my duties, because as I said, Im scared of forgetting things, making teachers yell at me, or if I like them to dissapoint them.
 

iNtrovert

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Nov 28, 2012
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359
MBTI Type
Ni
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
Well let’s start with your INFJ INFP dilemma
1. How would you define Fe
2. How would you define Fi.
3. How do you feel you use Fe.
4. How do you feel you use Fi.
 

thoughtlost

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...making the untangible tangible... that sounds like Se to me (but of course, I could be wrong). As for having an inner voice that makes you continue doing the things you do (as you know, there are people who don't give a shit about completing assignments on time...), that's the hard part. I could go back and forth between INFJ and ISFP....
 

lume

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Oct 18, 2013
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Fe is feeling oriented extrovert. Applied to society, and the people around you. Fe is adhering to shared values, being helpful, being very sensitive, showing feelings.
Fi is focused inwardly, having your own values, only caring for those you love, being cold sometimes, being in touch with your own feelings

I think I could use Fe because Im very very sensitive, and I adhered to shared values, which Im not sure I still do. I dont know. As a child I always, really always obeyd to the "laws" (if you can say that about a child) I never lied, if I lied I started crying, becuase lying wasnt socially accepted. Friends of mine began to steal money from others in school, we were a group of 5 people and I was the only one who didnt do it because I found it so terribly wrong

I think I could use Fi in making decisions based on how I feel about them, If someone is hurting me I know it very fast that this person is causing me trouble, and I experienced enough emotional pain. So I start cutting them off to dont make me feel bad. Because if I really like someone I begin to soak in his vibe/emotions. Feeling sad if someone else is feeling sad and so on.
Im also very sensitive but Im trying to hide it. I think I do appear like a thinker, being distant, cold and shy. But I can be warm, only if Im around people whom I can trust. And Im completely cold to those who hurt me.
 

lume

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Oct 18, 2013
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Fe is feeling oriented extrovert. Applied to society, and the people around you. Fe is adhering to shared values, being helpful, being very sensitive, showing feelings.
Fi is focused inwardly, having your own values, only caring for those you love, being cold sometimes, being in touch with your own feelings

I think I could use Fe because Im very very sensitive, and I adhered to shared values, which Im not sure I still do. I dont know. As a child I always, really always obeyd to the "laws" (if you can say that about a child) I never lied, if I lied I started crying, becuase lying wasnt socially accepted. Friends of mine began to steal money from others in school, we were a group of 5 people and I was the only one who didnt do it because I found it so terribly wrong

I think I could use Fi in making decisions based on how I feel about them, If someone is hurting me I know it very fast that this person is causing me trouble, and I experienced enough emotional pain. So I start cutting them off to dont make me feel bad. Because if I really like someone I begin to soak in his vibe/emotions. Feeling sad if someone else is feeling sad and so on.
Im also very sensitive but Im trying to hide it. I think I do appear like a thinker, being distant, cold and shy. But I can be warm, only if Im around people whom I can trust. And Im completely cold to those who hurt me.
 
I

Infinite Bubble

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Do you feel more organised in your mind or in the environment? If it is in the environment, in what way?

N vs S is very simple, just ask yourself whether you focus on the abstract or the senses.
 

Doctor Cringelord

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Joined
Aug 27, 2013
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20,567
MBTI Type
I
Enneagram
9w8
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sp/sx
[MENTION=20043]lume[/MENTION] it looks like you show some bias toward Fe.

I don't understand why Fi gets a bad rap.
 

iNtrovert

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Nov 28, 2012
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MBTI Type
Ni
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Instinctual Variant
sp/so
Fe is feeling oriented extrovert. Applied to society, and the people around you. Fe is adhering to shared values, being helpful, being very sensitive, showing feelings.

Imo Fe is not being sensitive but it is showing emotion. I would say Fi is a much more sensitive function and has a greater depth of emotion than Fe does. Fi feels very strongly and has a strong sense of personal moral values. I think Fe is more outwardly sensitive but Fi is truly sensitive. If you personally insult someone with Fe thy will most likely just think to themselves “you’re a jerk” and won’t bother with you in the future. If that person used Fi they’d probably respond in a very volatile way.

Fi is focused inwardly, having your own values, only caring for those you love, being cold sometimes, being in touch with your own feelings

Fi does care for people outside of their loved ones the way its shown is just different. Fi is more authentic than Fe so the way in which they care is not readily apparent or is less traditional. I don’t think Fi is cold as much as it is not outwardly expressive.

I think I could use Fe because Im very very sensitive, and I adhered to shared values, which Im not sure I still do. I dont know. As a child I always, really always obeyd to the "laws" (if you can say that about a child) I never lied, if I lied I started crying, becuase lying wasnt socially accepted. Friends of mine began to steal money from others in school, we were a group of 5 people and I was the only one who didnt do it because I found it so terribly wrong

This example sounds more like sensing with a little bit of F of some kind. I don’t think Ni Fe is so focused on the social rules or laws for the sake of themselves. I feel they’d be more concerned with the reason behind the social rules or the bigger picture. Ex lying isn’t socially acceptable because it hurts other people. It’s the recognition of how it affects others around you not just the fact that it is not socially acceptable.

I think I could use Fi in making decisions based on how I feel about them, If someone is hurting me I know it very fast that this person is causing me trouble, and I experienced enough emotional pain. So I start cutting them off to dont make me feel bad. Because if I really like someone I begin to soak in his vibe/emotions. Feeling sad if someone else is feeling sad and so on.
Im also very sensitive but Im trying to hide it. I think I do appear like a thinker, being distant, cold and shy. But I can be warm, only if Im around people whom I can trust. And Im completely cold to those who hurt me.

This doesn’t sound like Fi as much as it sounds like Fe door slamming. Fe is good at managing people. Introverts with Fe who are very selective of who they let into their lives do exactly what you described. It really sounds like classic behavior of someone who is introverted and uses Fe.

Right now I’d Say INFJ or ISFJ. Im leaning more toward Isfj. In your responses you seemed to focus on traditional themes and regulations. Perhaps you should look into Si vs Se.
 
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