Am I an ENFP?

[Amargith]

I think, to be honest, the words used to describe sx/so in that initial post isn't very flattering to them - although it isn't really flattering to any contra-flow type except maybe so/sp. But I think what those words are implying is that, sx/so is a generally high energy type in the first place so it does cause a lot of social rupturing and, for lack of a better word, reactivity. In the midst of that eruption sx/so will find the people worth keeping and connecting to. Think back to our exchange about the "mom" thing. Theoretically so/sx may have been a little more playful with the nicknames/name-calling while sx/so was more inclined to challenge (challenging is also a word in that list I think) that and that act of confronting could potentially scare away the people not worth connecting with or the people you don't have the right chemistry with. That's my take on it anyway.

Even if that were the case, sx-sp is worse at this. They'll do this blunt-hammering. At least I smoothe it over with some charm either before, after or during. Again, I can see it vs So-Sx, for sure. I feel that me and [MENTION=10496]skylights[/MENTION] have that difference (plus the 6 vs 4 thing, I'm sure). But I honest to god find it appalling to be labeled this way:

'Excluding, eliminating, dividing, separating, contradicting, subverting, confronting, rebuffing, ridiculing, challenging, interrupting, reforming, rupturing.' - with perhaps the exception of 'reforming' and maybe 'challenging'.

It's...just completely contrary to just about *everything* I stand for: harmony, coming together, building bridges, anti-bullying, you name it.

If that is truly how I come across, someone clue me in and get me a brainwashing machine coz I don't want to be that person

 

[Steer2Justice]

If you're certain about being sx-first, then your first priority/worry would be chemistry with other people and your surroundings, intensity, and finding something to "complete" yourself. If you're so-second then you have a fairly good understanding of the social realm around you, a desire to make interconnections with other individuals in that social realm, etc. That means you're sp-last, meaning you tend to disregard your own physical safety, comfort, potential risks, and well-being (for example, I tend to forget to eat dinner and get proper hours of sleep). If sp and so are flipped, then you have a good grip on maintaining your personal safety and comfort/health but you tend to disregard how your actions affect the social realm around you and you may sometimes be forget to maintain to the connections you already have.

Basically how I look at it is:

first instinct = too much and it can create problems
second instinct = just right, you have a healthy amount of it
last instinct = too little and it can get you in trouble

Also I didn't read all your posts (I'm an E7 after all) but you certainly vibe like an ENFP and have the stream-of-consciousness writing style

Ah, thank you!

I'm quite certain that I am a sx-first and that is how I tend to perceive the world. When I meet a new partner or acquaintance - I tend to look at them through lenses of "compatibility". Do I get along with this person? Do I like this person? How compatible are we? I tend to come across as either very passionate and intense (I've come across too strong COUNTLESS times it is so frustrating) or apathetic and uncaring. People have described me as an individual possessing a personality that oscillates between extremes. Does that make sense?

Sexual 4: Competition/ Hate
Sexual Fours compete with others of their own sex in their attempt to find love. Their competitiveness is based n a sense that love is scarce and so it needs to be fought for. They try to convince their rivals and the object of their affection that they are better than the competition, and their wish to "disappear" their challengers is a form of hatred. The choice of object of desire is determined by how many other people want that person, so that, too, arises out of competition. Sexual Fours are not only competitive in the relationship arena - competition is their dominant behavioral characteristic - but it is there that it is most pronounced. The passion of envy manifests here as wanting someone another has or desires and in their underlying hatred of their rivals.

That makes so much sense! I really dislike and am wary of competitors even to my friends and I have this secret desire to be the only person my partner/friend leans on and confides in. This scares me at times and I can be overtly possessive -- even too much so for myself whilst struggling with the fact that I don't want people to be possessive over me and depriving me of my freedom. This leads me to bouts of self-loathing and I'm like UGH what is wrong with me.

Envy is almost undeniably my chief weakness -- I have once thought about and deeply wished that I was someone else, someone better, more handsome, more intellectual because I don't seem to be "the best". Second place, to me, is not good enough.

Between the two, I'm still not sure.

Sx-Sp: I tend to shy away from unnecessary risks (I don't wanna die, honestly). However, when I'm in the middle of doing something really engaging, I will tend to give up sleep and food and devote myself to an almost manic energy and complete it no matter what.

Sx-So: I have a very instinctual and elaborate understanding of social friendships and alliances and have demonstrated myself to be adept at manipulating this for my own ends. I have, in the group projects, always come up as the "Kingmaker" and the right-hand man who unconsciously wields power? So I don't do it with understanding but it's an unconscious thing.

I tend to identify and take in the values and the identity of the group that I'm with at the moment -- and angst if I don't seem to match up to the ideal. For example, I used to be in the top class in my high school years and I'm almost always trying to present a facade of being an intellectual scholar while struggling with my (perceived) inadequacy deep down?

However, I do tend to overstep boundaries with authority figures and I have been said to be quite socially awkward. So.

EDIT: I jokingly challenge authority figures like teachers quite frequently -- okay I don't perceive it as a challenge but I do speak a lot in class and I think it intimidates some people -- and while it's quite endearing they get weary of me after a while. Does that make sense? And after that familiarity's established I start to feel uncomfortable if it's not what I expected and pull back almost completely.

Again that oscillation.

 

[HongDou]

Even if that were the case, sx-sp is worse at this. They'll do this blunt-hammering. At least I smoothe it over with some charm either before, after or during. Again, I can see it vs So-Sx, for sure. I feel that me and [MENTION=10496]skylights[/MENTION] have that difference (plus the 6 vs 4 thing, I'm sure). But I honest to god find it appalling to be labeled this way:

'Excluding, eliminating, dividing, separating, contradicting, subverting, confronting, rebuffing, ridiculing, challenging, interrupting, reforming, rupturing.' - with perhaps the exception of 'reforming' and maybe 'challenging'.

It's...just completely contrary to just about *everything* I stand for: harmony, coming together, building bridges, anti-bullying, you name it.

If that is truly how I come across, someone clue me in and get me a brainwashing machine coz I don't want to be that person

I don't think you come across that way, although it's reasonable why you'd be offended (my 2 sx/so friend didn't believe she was sx/so until I showed her the other bits). To be honest I think the description needs a little work - I bet our dear sky could handle that actually if she's up to the task.

I'll admit you come across as a really so/sx-ish sx/so, but for some reason sx/so still makes sense for you. Well, not for just some reason - I believe you have your instincts in a fitting order. It's just the contra-flow thing and those words that don't seem as fitting. I don't think sx/sp totally outclasses sx/so in regards to what I said though. sx/sp (along with sp/sx) get the blunt hammering done for sure, but it has a more withdrawn and calm energy that is easier to react to while sx/so energy is a lot more outwardly focused and sometimes draining. To be honest those words used to describe sx/so kind of remind me of the Marilyn Monroe quote you used to have in your sig, "If you can't handle me at my worst than you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best." That's more just of a loose connection though. What words would you use to describe sx/so instead? I'd be interested in that. The words from those descriptions in general were more to describe why the types were either contra-flow (compelled against people) or syn-flow (compelled toward people). Edit: by the way I don't think the syn/contra stuff holds that much weight - I just find it interesting.

 

[HongDou]

[MENTION=4817]Steer2Justice[/MENTION] I'm leaning towards sx/so for now based on the info you provided. I don't think any of us, sp-last or not, wanna die. You seem to have more of a relationship with so>sp as well but I dunno. Our "blindspot" is also the instinct we get most frustrated with in other people. For example, sx/so and so/sx types can view sp in people as being "fearful" or "fussy." A few others that come to my mind personally are "boring," "stingy," "worrying," etc even though I really do appreciate the sp instinct (especially in sx/sp ). Here's more detail:

SP blind spot - lack of solid foundation, lack in comfort and coziness, lack in attention to health, maintenance, and personal safety. Such individuals often have a hard time focusing on issues such as financial security or the commitment to the development of practical skills. There is fear is of being an "eternal child" who won’t take care of one-self and expectation of failure in dealing with self-preservation matters. At the same time these people tend to look down on SP-domain and may express cynicism towards it e.g. call it "fearful" and "fussy", state that SP people "don’t know how to really live". When the instinct for self-preservation is last in the instinctual stacking, the individual will often be somewhat ungrounded or seemingly "immature." The more extraverted SP-last individuals often find it difficult to develop a degree of “inwardness.”

SX blind spot - subvert the fiery energy, tame the fire, don’t honor your passions, procrastinate and postpone if you need to, avoid anything stimulating. Inertia. When the sexual instinct is least developed, the personality can lack a certain charisma and momentum. These people may fear of being a boring, bland person, without passions, be afraid of having 'no juice', and feel flattered that someone wants to spend time with them. Their personal relationships can suffer from a lack of attention or attention that is too scattered.

SO blind spot - finds it hard to concern self with another’s agenda, dismissive. When the social instinct is least developed, the individual is going to find it difficult to see why it is important to form social connections or to cultivate multiple relationships. This, in turn, can lead to a certain amount of social isolation. As we all must find a niche in the larger whole, those whose social instinct is least developed, can find it difficult to negotiate the needs of the social realm which make this possible. They may feel that connecting socially will cost them something and consider interactions to be draining. They may find interdependence difficult and dependence on others barely tolerable, and thus attempt to attain a type of independence and self-sufficiency which is not possible for human beings. This “false independence” can lead to unnecessary suffering and impoverishment of experience. They would rather act as a lone force, lone wolves, I'm-on-my-own attitude, feeling that they don't need others and others don't need them. Fear of being emotionally crippled, being unable to connect with many people, self-conscious of being socially ungracious. It’s hard to take in the gifts and generosity of others. Projected fear - if I ignore others, they will ignore me. There’s an expectation of humiliation. A desire not to impose self on people in fear of not being wanted or being klutzy.

 

[Amargith]

I don't think you come across that way, although it's reasonable why you'd be offended (my 2 sx/so friend didn't believe she was sx/so until I showed her the other bits). To be honest I think the description needs a little work - I bet our dear sky could handle that actually if she's up to the task.

I'll admit you come across as a really so/sx-ish sx/so, but for some reason sx/so still makes sense for you. Well, not for just some reason - I believe you have your instincts in a fitting order. It's just the contra-flow thing and those words that don't seem as fitting. I don't think sx/sp totally outclasses sx/so in regards to what I said though. sx/sp (along with sp/sx) get the blunt hammering done for sure, but it has a more withdrawn and calm energy that is easier to react to while sx/so energy is a lot more outwardly focused and sometimes draining. To be honest those words used to describe sx/so kind of remind me of the Marilyn Monroe quote you used to have in your sig, "If you can't handle me at my worst than you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best." That's more just of a loose connection though. What words would you use to describe sx/so instead? I'd be interested in that. The words from those descriptions in general were more to describe why the types were either contra-flow (compelled against people) or syn-flow (compelled toward people).

Not sure, since Im too close to it really - and have wishful thinking perhaps going on - that I'm the right person to do this, but like I said - for me personally, so-sx and sx-sp combined would give me the right 'vibe'.


sx-sp: intensifying, escalating, rising, surging, enlivening, invigorating, accelerating, stimulating, energizing, vitalizing, reviving, animating, inspiriting

so/sx - including, associating, affiliating, networking, incorporating, interconnecting, introducing, unifying, linking, bonding, annexing, cooperating, receiving


And yes, challenging and reforming, from the sx-so pile - for when things aren't the way they should be and people are sticking their head into the ground - but that honestly is my last resort.

I don't...network the way an so-dom does, and Im not part of the community in that regard. But I do make connections and the connections I make depend on what the other person requires from me and vice versa - be it bonding and cooperation or intensely invigorating company. When I do go for challenging and reforming, it is because I feel an important issue is being overlooked and I feel *guilty* for ruining people's peace and quiet, unless they *ask* me for this treatment - which, believe it or not, is a common request.


Crap, and Im so sorry for taking over your intro thread, OP! Maybe interrupting should go on that list...

 

[Steer2Justice]

[MENTION=4817]Steer2Justice[/MENTION] I'm leaning towards sx/so for now based on the info you provided. I don't think any of us, sp-last or not, wanna die. You seem to have more of a relationship with so>sp as well but I dunno. Our "blindspot" is also the instinct we get most frustrated with in other people. For example, sx/so and so/sx types can view sp in people as being "fearful" or "fussy." A few others that come to my mind personally are "boring," "stingy," "worrying," etc even though I really do appreciate the sp instinct (especially in sx/sp ). Here's more detail:

HAHAHAHA of course of course. I think my ESTJ friend's an sp-dom (she's seriously always fretting about herself and the need to succeed in order to live etc.) and it can get grating at times.

I am extremely competitive and I play to win so I think it's pretty settled that I'm an Sx-dom.

Still, I do have my teachers mentioning that I "worry too much" and am "paranoid" as well so I dunno. Then again I think I do it in order to "keep up" social appearances rather than any perceived genuine fear. I want to be respected for my abilities and so I try to mold myself in such a way that I seem respectable and intelligent. Does that make sense? (While at the same time completely shattering that facade with my moodiness and my extreme self-consciousness so.)

I don't necessary understand the SP-blindspot as being lacking in "inwardness" as it seems to be such a vague and ambiguous term. I don't think I've ever had anyone tell me that I'm immature before (people always remark that I'm an old soul ha) but yes people do mention that I'm completely dependent on my parents for sustenance and remark on how utterly incapable I am at the act of daily living. And I have little to no practical skills whatsoever (most of my interests are intellectual) and I don't do ANY financial planning.

Okay this sounds quite compelling indeed.

Not sure, since Im too close to it really - and have wishful thinking perhaps going on - that I'm the right person to do this, but like I said - for me personally, so-sx and sx-sp combined would give me the right 'vibe'.


sx-sp: intensifying, escalating, rising, surging, enlivening, invigorating, accelerating, stimulating, energizing, vitalizing, reviving, animating, inspiriting

so/sx - including, associating, affiliating, networking, incorporating, interconnecting, introducing, unifying, linking, bonding, annexing, cooperating, receiving


And yes, challenging and reforming, from the sx-so pile - for when things aren't the way they should be and people are sticking their head into the ground - but that honestly is my last resort.

I don't...network the way an so-dom does, and Im not part of the community in that regard. But I do make connections and the connections I make depend on what the other person requires from me and vice versa - be it bonding and cooperation or intensely invigorating company. When I do go for challenging and reforming, it is because I feel an important issue is being overlooked and I feel *guilty* for ruining people's peace and quiet, unless they *ask* me for this treatment - which, believe it or not, is a common request.


Crap, and Im so sorry for taking over your intro thread, OP! Maybe interrupting should go on that list...

Hahaha it's fine it's fine. You don't have to feel apologetic for anything. These things are so very intriguing indeed...

 

[skylights]

Hi [MENTION=4817]Steer2Justice[/MENTION], you sound quite authentically ENFP to me

As for sp-last or so-last, for me sp-last manifests in being pretty oblivious about "upkeep" sorts of things, resource maintenance. Sleeping... eating... exercising... any sort of skin regimen... laundry... cleaning... car maintenance... and so on. It's not that I don't care about them, but they always get pushed to the backburner because I care about everything else more. Laundry gets done at 11 PM on a Thursday because I ran out of underwear; the car gets maintenanced when its oil light comes on; and "you can sleep when you're dead" tends to be a lifestyle principle of mine, less out of explicit choice and more because there always seems to be something more interesting to do.

My sx/sp friend by contrast makes it more of a priority to get sleep, do her laundry, get her nails and hair done, and so on. She takes better care of herself and of her things. She'll withdraw from the social sphere as needed to take care of herself.

I don't necessary understand the SP-blindspot as being lacking in "inwardness" as it seems to be such a vague and ambiguous term.

I'm not really sure I understand that one either. Perhaps just the degree of other-focus. I tend to attend to everyone else's issues first, and sometimes am not even sure where to start with myself.

Even if that were the case, sx-sp is worse at this. They'll do this blunt-hammering. At least I smoothe it over with some charm either before, after or during. Again, I can see it vs So-Sx, for sure. I feel that me and @skylights have that difference (plus the 6 vs 4 thing, I'm sure). But I honest to god find it appalling to be labeled this way:

'Excluding, eliminating, dividing, separating, contradicting, subverting, confronting, rebuffing, ridiculing, challenging, interrupting, reforming, rupturing.' - with perhaps the exception of 'reforming' and maybe 'challenging'.

It's...just completely contrary to just about *everything* I stand for: harmony, coming together, building bridges, anti-bullying, you name it.

If that is truly how I come across, someone clue me in and get me a brainwashing machine coz I don't want to be that person

Yes, you are right about the difference.

Though, interesting to me that you say this because I always found the sx/so terms appealing and I resonate with them to a certain degree.

I especially felt in line with them when I was standing up to what I felt was an unjust situation at my workplace, which was going on around the time I first got into learning the instinct variants.

I do not feel like you come across this way at all, but then I am not sure these terms are meant to describe how you come across. I think they are meant to describe how you tend to respond to situations and information, with your tendency as an sx/so being to delve in, ignore existing protocol, and reorganize according to your chemistry. They seem to me more situational consequences of your stacking than a descriptor of you personally.

I don't...network the way an so-dom does, and Im not part of the community in that regard. But I do make connections and the connections I make depend on what the other person requires from me and vice versa

Incidentally, me neither, in terms of networking. I find it unpleasant.

FWIW much of what is written about so-dominance seems to give the impression of a suave and disingenuous businessperson, and I think the truth of the instinct is a bit different. My somewhat-laughable substitution is a horse born, raised, and living in a herd. The horse is an animal known for its fiery independence and snarky intellect, so it is not mindless or without heart. But as part of the herd, it perceives with the wellbeing of its group in mind. So while not every social dominant will be inclined to "network" persay, they are generally curious about the people that make up their community, and already feel some degree of connection to them. The difference I would see with you as sx/so is that for me I see it less as making a connection and more like pulling on a thread that already exists.

 

[Steer2Justice]

Hi [MENTION=4817]Steer2Justice[/MENTION], you sound quite authentically ENFP to me

As for sp-last or so-last, for me sp-last manifests in being pretty oblivious about "upkeep" sorts of things, resource maintenance. Sleeping... eating... exercising... any sort of skin regimen... laundry... cleaning... car maintenance... and so on. It's not that I don't care about them, but they always get pushed to the backburner because I care about everything else more. Laundry gets done at 11 PM on a Thursday because I ran out of underwear; the car gets maintenanced when its oil light comes on; and "you can sleep when you're dead" tends to be a lifestyle principle of mine, less out of explicit choice and more because there always seems to be something more interesting to do.

My sx/sp friend by contrast makes it more of a priority to get sleep, do her laundry, get her nails and hair done, and so on. She takes better care of herself and of her things. She'll withdraw from the social sphere as needed to take care of herself.



Yes, you are right about the difference.

Though, interesting to me that you say this because I always found the sx/so terms appealing and I resonate with them to a certain degree.

I especially felt in line with them when I was standing up to what I felt was an unjust situation at my workplace, which was going on around the time I first got into learning the instinct variants.

I do not feel like you come across this way at all, but then I am not sure these terms are meant to describe how you come across. I think they are meant to describe how you tend to respond to situations and information, with your tendency as an sx/so being to delve in, ignore existing protocol, and reorganize according to your chemistry. They seem to me more situational consequences of your stacking than a descriptor of you personally.



Incidentally, me neither. I think networking is generally unpleasant.

Hello there! Thank you for taking the time to read this page, hah.

Omg I totally understand. I really don't care enough about the "mundane" things and some of my family members have even expressed dissatisfaction at how "sloppy" I am. And when I really start to care it's really due to necessity -- and that I can't push it back any further. I really think sleep is overrated and I can survive very well on low sleep as well.

"You can sleep when you're dead" totally should be my new motto in life hm.

Oh I think networking IS unpleasant but it isn't so bad when you're making friends -- and they somehow happen to be from privileged backgrounds. I think these sort of networking is fine. The networking I especially disdain is the sort where you go up to individual X because you KNOW individual X is successful/rich/popular/influential/whatever and you don't do it out of a genuine desire to know the person.

I find myself having loads of acquaintances though...

 

[skylights]

Hello there! Thank you for taking the time to read this page, hah.

Omg I totally understand. I really don't care enough about the "mundane" things and some of my family members have even expressed dissatisfaction at how "sloppy" I am. And when I really start to care it's really due to necessity -- and that I can't push it back any further. I really think sleep is overrated and I can survive very well on low sleep as well.

"You can sleep when you're dead" totally should be my new motto in life hm.

I would tend to lay claim to sx/so for you, then!

Oh I think networking IS unpleasant but it isn't so bad when you're making friends -- and they somehow happen to be from privileged backgrounds. I think these sort of networking is fine. The networking I especially disdain is the sort where you go up to individual X because you KNOW individual X is successful/rich/popular/influential/whatever and you don't do it out of a genuine desire to know the person.

Yes, exactly. I like meeting people well enough. It is just when you are meeting them for the sake of something besides appreciating and enjoying them as a person but with no other explicit intention that it is strange to me. Certainly if someone says, "Sky, I think ____ and you should meet because she does such-and-such that is very much like what you do", then I understand that. And I am in a sorority, so I understand meeting people just because they are in a group with you, too, and that does not bother me either. I have a feel in both of those situations for why we are there. But with "networking", I do not really understand what I am trying to get out of it nor do I understand what others are trying to get out of it - nor can I figure out how to behave on the whole. The whole thing typically feels nebulous and contrived. How much of my exposed self do I let filter through, versus how much polish do I maintain? I can and have dealt with it before, but on the whole it is not pleasing enough to me to be worth whatever gain it is supposed to produce.

 

[Steer2Justice]

I would tend to lay claim to sx/so for you, then!



Yes, exactly. I like meeting people well enough. It is just when you are meeting them for the sake of something besides appreciating and enjoying them as a person but with no other explicit intention that it is strange to me. Certainly if someone says, "Sky, I think ____ and you should meet because she does such-and-such that is very much like what you do", then I understand that. And I am in a sorority, so I understand meeting people just because they are in a group with you, too, and that does not bother me either. I have a feel in both of those situations for why we are there. But with "networking", I do not really understand what I am trying to get out of it nor do I understand what others are trying to get out of it - nor can I figure out how to behave on the whole. The whole thing typically feels nebulous and contrived. How much of my exposed self do I let filter through, versus how much polish do I maintain? I can and have dealt with it before, but on the whole it is not pleasing enough to me to be worth whatever gain it is supposed to produce.

I guess that does fit me better. I've thought to myself once before that if I were to be thrown alone in a jungle -- I wouldn't last two days.

Yes, that's true. I don't like to socialize with an agenda. If I were to be friends with someone, it's mostly because that person has had qualities that I admire/respect and therefore would like to interact more with. Or maybe the person's just plain fun to talk to. I don't do it for reasons of social advancement or for future privileges. That would be just sad.

I find it hard to allow my exposed self to seep through something so contrived, so fake, with so much pretense. I require authentic sentiments in any friendship. Otherwise there's just no point.

 

[HongDou]

Yay! An ENFP 4w3 sx/so - I think Junko Enoshima from Danganronpa is an (mentally unstable) example of one.

 

[Steer2Justice]

Yay! An ENFP 4w3 sx/so - I think Junko Enoshima from Danganronpa is an (mentally unstable) example of one.

OMG OMG OMG YOU WATCH/PLAY DANGAN RONPA TOO.

Okay not that I would love to be compared to be compared to Enoshima but heh heh heh.

I think it'll be fun.

 

[HongDou]

OMG OMG OMG YOU WATCH/PLAY DANGAN RONPA TOO.

Okay not that I would love to be compared to be compared to Enoshima but heh heh heh.

I think it'll be fun.

OMG I WAs NOT EXPECTING THAT

Hehe I both hate and love Junko she's almost like a parody of sp-lasts, how willing she is to kill herself for the sake of despair

a parody of an ENFP too, since she ended up killing her own twin sister just because she hasn't stuck to a plan since the day she was born.

 

[Steer2Justice]

OMG I WAs NOT EXPECTING THAT

Hehe I both hate and love Junko she's almost like a parody of sp-lasts, how willing she is to kill herself for the sake of despair

a parody of an ENFP too, since she ended up killing her own twin sister just because she hasn't stuck to a plan since the day she was born.

I could tell how excited you are just by your typing HAHAHAHA OMG HI FIVE.

Yeahhhh but I really liked her twin sister (and how sad her life was) and so I was kinda pissed with Enoshima for manipulating her so cruelly and killing her on a whim.

Okay maybe I think I COULD do that but if I were really mentally unhinged and psychopathic like Enoshima was. But I did fantasize about leading a resistance group (ala Super High School Level Despair) HEH.