I'm a 17 year old enneagram 4 that's having a bit of trouble determining his wing, instinctual stacking, and tritype. Honestly, most of this issue comes from the fact that I'm a very dichotomous person and feel like I relate equally so to both 3 and 5 wings. In fact, in descriptions of both subtypes, it seems like I have a pretty heavy influence from both of them, depending on my mood and the context and such. Though, it confuses me to settle myself as having "balanced wings" as most versions of the enneagram theory don't necessarily accommodate to the idea of that being a possibility, or at least a rarity.
I'm withdrawn in the sense that I'm detached from the normal, real world, established ways etc but I wouldn't describe myself as excessively introverted; it's more just having eclectic and idiosyncratic orientations and participating in outlets for those rather than conventionality. I also seem to be very detached from other people, as of recently. Earlier in my life I used to intimately merge with people but bad experiences led me to unconsciously detach myself from others. because of this, I always feel a sense of lacking. For whatever reason, I connect with some people seemingly perfectly but I just seem to feel nothing. Maybe this phenomena may be relevant.
Every test I take seems to type me as a 4w5, but many facets of my personality seem to indicate me as a 4w3 poster child. So, I will analyze myself in partition this analysis in two categories of both subtypes.
Immediately when first reading the descriptions for this type, I connected with the idea of covering internal self contempt with a vibrant, flashy, and "interesting" image of charisma and exuberance. I, if I care to, have the ability to study a social context and adapt my image according to the requirements of the situation which is obviously very 3 sounding. I care about the opinions of other people, and both marvel and feel shame at the idea of being an outsider; yet, contradictory, I romanticize this image as well.
Another three aspect of my personality is the fact that I have a very strong sense of humour and act energetically (sometimes extroverted). I also relate to the idea of displaying my individuality in a staunch and impacting way, but this seems more to tie to the 4 image of needing to express oneself.
I love the idea of turning my life and personality into a work of art, and somehow manifesting my internal vision of experiencing the world into something that is a catalyst to change in external realities. I sort of have a dream of "changing the world," or whatever field I involve myself in and leaving my mark on the world with that internal vision. A great example that epitomizes what I'd like to do with myself is people like Bob Dylan, Allen Ginsberg, John Lennon, Jim Morrison, Kurt Cobain etc. I love the idea of being a sort of generational figure head, and that's mainly the source of my "ambitious" side. However, I don't relate at all to the 3's tendency to value work and pragmatism; in fact, I despise work and pragmatism and often reject those with in turn retreating into my intellectualizations. Which brings us to the 4w5 part of me.
4w5: Just as much as I relate to the 4w3 ethos of fulfilling oneself in a sort of expansive, grandiose manner, I relate to the 4w5 ethos of being a sort of voyeur. I fear incompetency, and counteract those feelings with the idea that I am intellectual superior, or rather, compensate for my lack of functioning in the "real world" for the worth of my conceptualizations. I am constantly thinking, conceptualizing, observing, toying with ideas, etc. In fact, it almost seems that I think more than I legitimately feel. I have to immerse myself in certain aesthetic environments, in reclusiveness, to feel properly. I feel a detachment from others due to the enigmatic and idiosyncratic nature of my thoughts and thinking patterns, leading me to feel alienated no matter how I connect superficially.
And most of my "ambitions" that could be attributed to being a 3 are intellectually/artistically focused. One of the most definitive facets of my personality, and one of the maint hings I ground any sort of identity I have is my intelligence, my mind. Asking anyone about me the most common thing they'll say is refer to my intelligence. It's all I have to ground my worth in, really, as I'm very impractical. I am insightful, perceptive, "ingenious," observant, and detached in all the ways that a 5 would seem to be. I contemplate and analyze ideas, myself, and the world around me constantly and turn those into a sort of definitive insight into the inner workings of things that I can carry with me through my experiences. I constantly intellectualize my environment, and ask questions, dismiss detail immediately for depth of thought. I consider myself to be iconoclastic in my thought process, and think very deeply and often rationally. Though my 4 nature makes me prone to emotion, I have the ability to detach myself from that side and be quite rational both in my approach to my belief systems and myself. I always have a tendency to overthink things, and have very nuanced/complex thought patterns.
I'm also more staunchly individualistic than a 3 would, I don't necessarily temper my individuality and I wouldn't describe myself as refined. I don't necessarily care about being impressive outside of the things I value which is mainly my art and sociopolitical, intellectual, cultural interests. But I don't relate with the fives inhibiting shyness, nor with the fives staunch reclusiveness; I'm not really shy and though I recluse myself to study and delve into my interests I do participate in class discussions etc social situations on occasion.
Some of this even indicated 5w4 but I feel like I'm too charming (or rather I use a charming mask) to be an isolated 5.
I'm also an INFP, if that helps. Sorry if I came off as douchey, but I hope you understand the cognitive dissonance.
As far as sx/sp/so etc I don't necessarily understand the instinctual definitions. I desire emotional intimacy and value social worth for the sake of advancing my ideals, so that leads me to view myself as sx/so but i'm unsure. I'm pretty sure I'm sx dominant as I'm very much an intense and usually passionate person, desiring intimacy and emotional gratification, become pitifully obsessed and captivated by an experience/idea/person.
anyways, thanks for participating in these ramblings. hope someone can add further insight into figuring myself out.