she has zero Se Qi. When I look at her I feel like I'm looking at gold leaf. extremely fragile.
If I invited all my friends to have a nerf gun war in her house, she'd flip a shit.
Your take does not surprise me really. I've noticed that by the time I meet/actually engage with people (because I'm introverted, it takes awhile sometimes) they've usually formed a stereotypical judgement of "who I am" based on my physical appearance. After at least an hour of conversation or time spent with said people, they are usually very confused and admit to writing me off as weak and shy (when I'm really not). One guy even said this verbatim, "Wow, and all this time I though you...like baked pies for a living." Insulting, but revealing.
I am sorry to disappoint you, but I'm truly not a fragile golden leaf (though it makes a pretty metaphor).
I begged my older brother as a child to be on his paintball team, and got open fired on instead. I think I could handle a little nerf.
Which brings me to this:
Originally Posted by Ene
First, I think it's more important to ask WHY either would enter into a conflict?
What motivated Joan of Arc and William Wallace [Ni/Fe users]? Two things, they were both Fe users and they both reverted to their Se under stress. So what does a combo of Ni/Fe do? It surveys the emotional climate and knows instinctively the right way to proceed with those around it. It considers others' feelings, often before it considers its own when responding to them. When Ni/Fe enters a room or a situation, it says something like, "Who can I connect with here? What can we learn from each other?" In a conflict, Ni/Fe first tries to be objective, to see the big picture and to take into consideration everyone involved. In the case of INFJ warriors it usually boils down to the fact that there is some grossly inhumane treatment of others who lack the power or knowledge to defend themselves, i.e, the poor Frenchmen in Joan's village, the Scotts who had been bullied for years by the English [hence, INFJs are called the protectors].
Now what motivates Fi/Ne to conflict action? I have a good INFP friend in real life. I've never seen her actually engage in any kind of conflict. As a child, I actually tackled a boy twice my size, a big bully. The other boys had to pull me off him. She would NEVER have done that. She would have probably written letters to the teachers complaining about the bully or maybe she would have mumbled something derogatory every time someone mentioned his name.
Recently, she was distraught over an article she read promoting the destruction of all cats. She was so upset that she wrote long, rambling letters to her senators and congressmen. She is NOT likely to engage in physical conflict. She seeks authenticity in the people she forms relationships with. Therefore, she can literally count her close friends on one hand. She is socially awkward, but she has a quiet cuteness about her.
Thank you Ene! I'm definitely going to read and address the article portion of your post later, but this first part really speaks to me. When I was as a sophomore in High School, while in the locker room after gym one day I happened on a bully situation too! I tried to verbally diffuse it, but that didn't really work. Long story short, I ended up punching the girl (the bully) in the face out of self defense (thanks to fights with my brother!). I've intervened on the behalf of others numerous other times too, and though it usually doesn't escalate to physical action I've never hesitated to engage in that way. I think that's the reason I resonate so with William Wallace (besides the fact that I'm part Scottish-- haha.) and similar characters. Come to think of it, the only movies I ever cry in are films that have some sort of sacrificial bravery, revolution or just act of courage.
So helpful, but now I'm even more torn. I'll read over the article and get back to you, thanks again for your input!
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I've intervened on the behalf of others numerous other times too, and though it usually doesn't escalate to physical action I've never hesitated to engage in that way. I think that's the reason I resonate so with William Wallace (besides the fact that I'm part Scottish-- haha.) and similar characters. Come to think of it, the only movies I ever cry in are films that have some sort of sacrificial bravery, revolution or just act of courage.
I think of a special love for Braveheart and noble sacrifice as a quintessential NFJ thing. Here's part of a post I made in a male INFJ's type-me thread (at INTJforum) a few months ago:
If there's an MBTI type most likely to cherish movies like Braveheart, I'd say it's the NFJ. There seems to be something about the combination of NF with J that leads people to particularly love stories where powerful evildoers finally get their (often violent) comeuppance at the hands of the noble, oppressed little guys and justice is served ... [and] it sounds to me like you've got a fairly strong streak that corresponds to that special hate that it seems to me that NFJs (and perhaps INFJs especially) are prone to have in the face of some powerful person or group inflicting oppression/injustice/etc. on some underdog or disadvantaged group, and that special calling to nobly stand up for the oppressed and fight the oppression.
And I was already leaning INFJ for you based on the video and some of your other posts — which is not to say that mild-P INFP would totally shock me (and I'm also not one to rule out INFx as arguably the best label for some people).
If you want to type yourself using the official "Step I" MBTI, it's here.
As you may know, there's a well-established fifth temperament dimension that isn't included in the Myers-Briggs typology and is often referred to as "neuroticism" (although it isn't a psychological disorder). The Big Five/SLOAN typology labels it Emotional Stability and refers to the two poles as Calm and Limbic. Being Limbic on that dimension tends to be associated with, among other things, anxiety/worry-proneness; emotional sensitivity/volatility; proneness to annoyance/irritation; self-consciousness; and (sometimes) depression. I'm Limbic, and it makes me less of a cucumber than some of my fellow INTJs — and I suspect you're on the Calm side.
In any case, and if (and only if) you're interested, you can type yourself on that fifth dimension — and also, in effect, get a "second opinion" on your J/P preference by looking at your Big Five "Conscientiousness" score — by taking the similarminds Big Five/SLOAN test I link to in this PerC post. As noted in that linked post, one reason I kind of like that test is that it lets you pick in-the-middle, mildly or strongly for each item, so its results are theoretically a somewhat better indicator of how strong your preference might be on each dimension than the percentage results of a "forced choice" test. As also noted in the linked post, though, I recommend ignoring the personality descriptions at the similarminds site and just using the test for its Calm/Limbic result (and as a second opinion on your MBTI preferences).
In case they're of any use to you, I've put roundups of some decent online INFJ and INFP profiles in the spoiler.
And finally, just in case you're interested in a l-o-n-g post from me about J/P (at PerC), you'll find it here.
@Lady X, wow that is great. It totally makes me think of a similar interaction I had with an INFJ who was also a four, and it played out in the exact same way. Thanks so much for posting that.
@small.wonder, I would say watch the video above and decide which one you relate to more. It really shows the difference between the types.
"Noble Sacrifice" is a quintessential NF characteristic.
Well, it's all relative. In my experience it's more NFJ than NFP, and an all-out martyr streak is more quintessentially INFJ than ENFJ. I don't think a typical ENFP (in particular) is nearly as likely as an INFJ to rest content in a lopsided martyr role for very long.