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  1. #41
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    I don't think so... Infps prefer people to get along and would prefer not to have conflict but they will have it. Infjs will just avoid the person and never talk to them if they can help it or they will email or write a letter. Infps need to be upfront and honest. Infps are one of the most raw and emotionally honest people you'll ever meet. Infjs will cover it all up and pretend it doesn't exist just to avoid an uncomfortable conversation or they'll be totally passive aggressive and guilt trip the shit out if you until you just come apologize.

  2. #42
    So she did. small.wonder's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ene View Post
    Hi, @small.wonder [I've edited...thought of something to add]

    Let me ask you some questions, which may help me decide.

    Did you by chance write down what you were going to say before you said it?

    How many times did you tape this?

    How many times did you view it?

    Did you wonder how it would come across to others?

    Do you feel that you were being your natural self or stilted?

    There are a couple of things that I noticed. On the one hand, you look up and twist your mouth a lot, like you are looking inside to think and this kind of appears as Ti, but with the random eye movements and the looking up, I also see that in a lot of people who use Ne. You don't do the engaging thing that I think INFJs do. By that I mean that you lack the warm inviting quality. I don't see much Fe. When Fe is invoked it lights up a person's whole face. It makes you feel like you want to sit and just talk to them for hours on end. I do see some Fi because you talk about remaining authentic an true to yourself and that you value most in others authenticity, which sounds very much like an INFP.

    I'm not saying Fe isn't there but only that I don't see it in this video and then you talk about being socially crippled toward the end of the video. Fe is rarely socially crippled. Still, that's not to say that you are an INFP or that you are an INFJ. Presently, if I had to choose between the two, I'd lean toward nfp.
    Hi Ene, thank you for taking a look and lending your thoughts!

    I think this was my 5th attempt at making a video over a week. The only reason I re-made the first video at all is because of the issue in question-- it was pretty tense and awkward (I've only even Facetimed like one time) and I wanted the video to be as true to my normal self as possible. I actually thought the 4th one was fine, but I made the mistake of asking my ESFJ Mom her opinion of it and she said I seemed depressed (pretty much her normal reaction unless I'm beaming and smiling). It turned out to be a good thing though, because when I made this final video I was pretty done with the whole process and hardly thought about it. I think I watched this once through once before posting it. On a general basis I don't worry too much about how I come across to others, I think I buried that hatchet a long time ago. That said though, another thing my Mom pointed out was the pausing between thoughts tendancy (which I find annoying and wish I didn't do)-- I did think about that a bit before I posted.

    Regarding Fe: Yes, I'm definitely not usually called warm. On the contrary, I've actually been called cold, or hard especially in social settings.

    I do engage with individuals in real life but not really in a warm way-- or I should say, I'm generally only warm to those I care about.

    Again, thanks for your take!
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  3. #43
    So she did. small.wonder's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by highlander View Post
    Yes exactly.

    INFP function order is - Fi, Ne, Si, Te In this case, Fi is the dominant function and Ne is your auxiliary. The combination of those first two functions and their order determines your time. The two types that are Fi auxiliary are ENFP and ESFP. See this link.

    Another question. Do one of these options resonate with you more than the other?

    Option 3
    “Future opportunities”
    • Brainstorming multiple options
    • Imagining possible connections
    • Entertaining ideas

    Option 4
    “One’s vision”
    • Knowing based on trusted insight
    • Visualizing the essence
    • Synthesizing the whole

    And if you pick the one of all those 4 I mentioned, which one would be at the top? Which one would be second?
    Hmm...I can somewhat relate to option 3, but only the first bullet point of option 4 makes any sense to me. I still think option 2 wins out.

    Quote Originally Posted by Stephano View Post
    INFJ
    You look a bit like Benedict Cumberbatch (in a positive way )
    That strikes me so funny because I can actually agree with you (though I never noticed it before)-- haha. Thanks!
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  4. #44
    So she did. small.wonder's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Urarienev View Post
    @small.wonder

    INFJ

    This video you've done in the OP mostly just confirms you're an E4, for me.

    That visceral response you are having is becuase E4.

    It is also confusing because MANY E4's are INFP's, so they also will automatically have that visceral response to those same things you discussed.


    I think INFJ because one of the things you have talked about is conflict.

    INFJ's have Ti as a tertiary. You seem to use Ni and Ti to me.

    INFP's probably don't like conflict at all cause Te is their 4th function.


    Ti would be an INFJ's 3rd, but it's still way better at it than inferior Te.

    (There's also a lot of theories about what order we use out functions...I beleive that we use our 1st and 3rd the most...and the way we grow is by using our auxillary.)
    Thanks for taking a look, I've never doubted that I'm a 4 but I appreciate the affirmation! It really does get confusing when trying to determine if something is just my 4 nature or an attribute of my MBTI, hopefully I'll figure it out eventually. I'm very confused about this conflict issue though.

    Quote Originally Posted by Lady X View Post
    I don't think so... Infps prefer people to get along and would prefer not to have conflict but they will have it. Infjs will just avoid the person and never talk to them if they can help it or they will email or write a letter. Infps need to be upfront and honest. Infps are one of the most raw and emotionally honest people you'll ever meet. Infjs will cover it all up and pretend it doesn't exist just to avoid an uncomfortable conversation or they'll be totally passive aggressive and guilt trip the shit out if you until you just come apologize.
    Eeep, I am not the bold. This conflict issue continues to be very confusing, and frustrating. I mean, you and @intari Love both probably have a point, but I unfortunately don't have enough MBTI knowledge to see the right of it.

    @highlander, @Ene, @OrangeAppled what do you guys make of this conflict topic? Is INFJ or INFP more capable of cutting to the chase and entering into necessary conflict? I can see the point about INFP being more raw and direct, but William Wallace is INFJ right?!
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  5. #45
    Retired Nicki's Avatar
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    You vibe like an INFP. Though what are you like when you're stressed out?
    I really like cats and food.

  6. #46
    Senior Member Mal12345's Avatar
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    Here's another short test, one that is not so easy to decipher types:

    Group A
    1. In school, I learn best in flexible situations where the teacher takes a personal interest in me.
    2. I sometimes focus on my dreams so strongly that I don’t see others’ points of view.
    3. I have a vision in mind of what I want and reality doesn’t always follow suit.
    4. My leadership style is subtle, gentle, indirect, and inclusive of others.

    Group B
    1. I tend to become attracted to a special “someone,” and I prefer one deep relationship over many superficial ones.
    2. My leadership style is quiet yet persistent as I make a determined effort toward long-range goals for myself, others, and the organization I work for.
    3. I have an internal picture of how I would like my work to contribute to the general good
    4. My leisure-time pursuits are either solitary or involve the company of others who are important to me.

    Group C
    1. When in love, I tend to cast aside all my future worries in order to focus on the relationship at hand.
    2. I am the type to take a unique, personal, and humorous approach that can make even difficult situations less tense and more fun.
    3. I prefer to decorate my work environment in order to make it a more pleasant place to be.
    4. As a leader, I prefer to persuade others by tapping into their good intentions.
    "Everyone has a plan till they get punched in the mouth." Mike Tyson
    “Culture?” says Paul McCartney. “This isn't culture. It's just a good laugh.”

  7. #47
    Senior Member Forever_Jung's Avatar
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    I don't think it's important to determine who conflicts MORE, but rather how these types approach conflict.

    I've heard INFJ's on this forum say they don't like conflict, and are averse to it. But over time they have recognized that some conflict now, actually increases harmony in the long run. In my mind, this a very pragmatic Je stance on the issue of conflict. They recognize that conflict is unpleasant, but the right kind of conflict can get desirable results. Still, I imagine they approach the conflict in a very Fe fashion, to make things go as smoothly as possible.

    (the INFP stuff beneath is all my own experience, so I'm not sure if this is just me)

    Meanwhile, an INFP will almost always avoid conflict, unless it interferes with a core value. This is because we don't like to impose our vision on the environment. We want people to change their ways due to a shift in internal state, and we promote our values via modelling them, and living them out as best as we can.

    If someone does something kinda inconsiderate, I'll let it go, since people have a right to express themselves as individuals. Who knows what kind of shit they have going on in their life, maybe I'd act that way too if I were in their position. That value, to me at least, trumps the need to always be polite and perfect.

    However, if this person is consistently a dick, eventually I'll reach a point where I'll hulk out on inferior Te and be like: "THAT'S ENOUGH! No one has the right to behave like that all the time. You are making me feel (blank), please stop this behaviour." The problem is, a lot of my inferior function is speaking now, and I have a shitty handle of Te, and it makes my words come out a bit harsh and undiplomatic. And that person will usually give me this routine: Wow! Where did THAT come from? Don't expect me to be mind reader, Jeremy. Jeez, to think I thought you were nice, blah, blah, blah.

    Then the other person seems to think I should apologize to THEM. And while I do feel bad, I can't believe that they seem to think they were hit out of nowhere. I usually monitor other people's internal state pretty closely, so I'm surprised when I realize how little they pay attention to mine. What they don't understand is that by allowing something to happen once, I was not telling them that I think what they did is ALWAYS okay. That is a generalized Je way to look at things. I don't have a general set of interpersonal laws I always follow. I believe in giving people enough wiggle room for individual circumstances. Really, I let things go in good faith, assuming they'll correct it.

    That being said, if I was smart and approached the situation in a Je way, I would communicate these feelings to people immediately, rather than 100 incidents later. However it's very uncomfortable and difficult for me to verbally articulate exactly what's happening internally in the moment. It's something I need to work on, to be sure.

    I'm starting to lose myself in my brain, not sure if that makes sense. However, I hope this helped you decide whether you're INFP/INFJ.

    For the record, you seem INFP to me, but it's difficult to tell based on what you said in the video.

  8. #48
    Stansmith
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    I feel like Social-last INFPs can seem quite Je-ish in regards to conflict or asserting their needs, especially with an 8-fix. Many don't strike me as 'childish' or pushovers.

  9. #49
    girl with a pretty smile Honor's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by small.wonder View Post
    @Honor Okay, thanks for your input! ENFJ is one I've never considered, mostly because the only letter I'm absolutely certain of is I. I'm very drained by social endeavors and usually am one of the first to leave them-- just so I can get home, breathe and recharge. I have read that INFJ's can seem to walk the line between extroversion and introversion though, so perhaps that's what you are seeing? Also take note that I made this video just in front of myself, so this is my demeanor within close friendships, or when I feel safe.
    then infj it is
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  10. #50
    Administrator highlander's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by small.wonder View Post
    Hmm...I can somewhat relate to option 3, but only the first bullet point of option 4 makes any sense to me. I still think option 2 wins out.
    So Fi resonates most strongly and Ne comes out second. That's INFP.

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