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  1. #51
    Senior Member The Great One's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Magic Qwan View Post

    So, I'm unpleasant to be around because I am So/Sp?
    Not exactly. It's just that I don't feel the same intensity when I'm around so/sp people that I do with others. This mostly applies to relationships though, not friendships.

  2. #52
    The Dark Lord The Wailing Specter's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Great One View Post
    Not exactly. It's just that I don't feel the same intensity when I'm around so/sp people that I do with others. This mostly applies to relationships though, not friendships.
    I tend to act even more friendly than usual when I like somebody (I've had a really low libido lately, so this is a reflection...).
    I'm friendly with everyone, though, so my advances tend to go unnoticed...

    I really need to take intensity lessons...
    Enneagram: 6w7 (phobic) > 2w1 > 9w1
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    I say this as a reminder to myself, but this goes for everyone:

    You can achieve anything you set your mind to, and you are limited only by how dedicated you are to succeed!

    -Magic Qwan

  3. #53
    Senior Member The Great One's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Magic Qwan View Post
    I tend to act even more friendly than usual when I like somebody (I've had a really low libido lately, so this is a reflection...).
    I'm friendly with everyone, though, so my advances tend to go unnoticed...

    I really need to take intensity lessons...
    I didn't say that they weren't friendly, I just said that they weren't intense.

  4. #54
    The Dark Lord The Wailing Specter's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Great One View Post
    I didn't say that they weren't friendly, I just said that they weren't intense.
    Were do you learn intensity?
    Enneagram: 6w7 (phobic) > 2w1 > 9w1
    Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
    Holland Code: AIS
    Date of Birth: March 15, 1996
    Gender: Male
    Political Stance: Libertarian Liberal (Arizona School/Strong BHL)
    ATHEIST UNITARIAN UNIVERSALIST HUMANIST
    and
    SCIENCE ENTHUSIAST


    I say this as a reminder to myself, but this goes for everyone:

    You can achieve anything you set your mind to, and you are limited only by how dedicated you are to succeed!

    -Magic Qwan

  5. #55
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Great One View Post
    Just in the past few days, I've heard so much about this syn-flow and contra flow stuff. Where can I find more information about it.


    http://www.the16types.info/vbulletin...tual-Stackings

  6. #56
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Magic Qwan View Post
    So, I'm unpleasant to be around because I am So/Sp?
    Quite the contrary, I think So/Sps are some of the most pleasant people to be around usually... there is neither the self-focus of the Sp-dom nor the intensity demand of the Sx-dom, plus more smoothness than So/Sx... So/Sp seem generally natively tactful and rarely infringe on others' privacy.

    So/Sp just seem to have what I would call a "privacy wall"... it's like unless you are close (sometimes even if you are close!) you can only go so far with them and they'll gently, smoothly redirect conversation and draw it back out to less private topics. To someone with Sx in a higher position this can be frustrating because they desire the satisfaction they get from raw exposure and are trying to push exactly towards that place So/Sp is moving away from. For example, I LOVE my 9w1 So/Sp coworker and we have really pleasant, engaging conversation, totally Social who-what-when-where-why, but rarely do we talk about personal deep feelings or drives or passionate desires or intensity of experience. For her that sort of opening up is uncomfortable (she has literally said this before). I always look forwards to interacting with her but I do wish we had a deeper friendship, since we seem very compatible.

    Incidentally, the privacy thing is true of both Sx-lasts, but So/Sps tend to be even more evasive than Sp/Sos, who may briefly open up a bit more, but who also tend to dislike the intensity unless it is couched in "safe" Sp and So (in other words, Sp and So concerns are taken care of, so they feel more free to engage Sx). Sp/Sos just tend to be more direct and immediate about changing the conversational topic and steering away from private concerns.

    -

    @The Great One, I've been looking into flow too. There isn't much info I've found online besides that one page. It's an interesting concept and I'm still trying to understand it. I think the most valuable to me has been this:

    so/sx - including, associating, affiliating, networking, incorporating, interconnecting, introducing, unifying, linking, bonding, annexing, cooperating, receiving
    sx/so - excluding, eliminating, dividing, separating, contradicting, subverting, confronting, rebuffing, ridiculing, challenging, interrupting, reforming, rupturing

    sx/sp - intensifying, escalating, rising, surging, enlivening, invigorating, accelerating, stimulating, energizing, vitalizing, reviving, animating, inspiriting
    sp/sx - dulling, calming, quieting, grounding, descending, lowering, dampening, numbing, desensitizing, exhausting, deadening, extinguishing, making still

    sp/so - conserving, protecting, maintaining, preserving, supplying, repairing, sustaining, stewarding
    so/sp - utilizing, employing, implementing, expending, exercising, spending, capitalizing, expropriating
    You can see the difference fairly clearly here, in that all the "syn-flow" orientations - the upper of each pair - are "gathering" orientations, which tend to collect diffuse energy into wholes. All of the "contra-flow" orientations - the lower of each pair - tend to take that tense, gathered energy, break it up, and diffuse it back into the world. Neither is better or worse, of course, as both mechanisms are necessary to keep life flowing. We need both people who build up and break down, or we can never create anything and we can never renew anything. I think the reason "contra-flow" is described as "compelled against people" is because its natural impulse is to take formations and to open them up. I would argue that the "anti-humanistic" sentiment linked with contraflow in the article is not correct, and is a misunderstanding - perhaps the writer is synflow. I do like the description of "change catalysts", because contraflow people break down or use up existing structures. I don't think it is so much that synflows are "deeply human" and that contraflows are "compelled against" as that I am inclined to take diffuse energy and capture it, whereas others are inclined to take already-captured energy and utilize it.

    I think there are some overall patterns of relations that are described well by that article, though it's hard for me to think that instinct flow orientation is an overwhelming component of most relationships when faced with all of the other variables that may be present.

    Perhaps the sx/sp versus sp/sx contrast can be useful to your determination of your stacking. Try to ignore the negative/positive connotations and just look at the energy movement (I think that will be easier for a T)...

  7. #57
    Senior Member The Great One's Avatar
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    @skylights

    I really don't relate to the sp/sx description at all though.

  8. #58
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Great One View Post
    @skylights

    I really don't relate to the sp/sx description at all though.
    Do you feel like sx/sp fits you best overall?

  9. #59
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    Quote Originally Posted by skylights View Post
    Do you feel like sx/sp fits you best overall?
    This is gonna sound really crazy but I felt like I related to a mix between the sp/so stuff and the sx/so stuff. I know that makes no sense at all, but I do. This is what I relate to in the bolded under each description....

    sx/so - excluding, eliminating, dividing, separating, contradicting, subverting, confronting, rebuffing, ridiculing, challenging, interrupting, reforming, rupturing

    sp/so - conserving, protecting, maintaining, preserving, supplying, repairing, sustaining, stewarding

    I know that so much of this is contradictory, but then again, I'm a very contradictory person.

    EDIT: If you would like I can explain this all in detail. Would you like that?

  10. #60
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    Contradiction is inherent in 6. No surprise there.

    My typical impulse is to say that I'd like more info, but I feel like you need less info, not more. Ne 6 likes avoiding answers too much, this I know. Turn to your Ti to answer this one, not Ne. Given the parameters, what makes the most objective sense?

    Ie, when you have problems in all three areas, which do you prioritize?

    Intensity first, then relationships, then self-maintenance?
    Intensity first, then self-maintenance, then relationships?
    Relationships first, then intensity, then self-maintenance?
    Relationships first, then self-maintenance, then intensity?
    Self-maintenance first, then intensity, then relationships?
    Self-maintenance first, then relationships, then intensity?

    I think it'd be valuable to pare it all down, totally, forget all the associations. Just really understand the core of each instinct and determine which one you always seek to resolve first, then which one you'll indulge when you feel relatively comfortable with life, then which one you almost never attend to unless you have a very explicit reason, and typically because one of the other instincts is dragging it into play.

    Maybe if you think this period in time is warping your Sp instinct, flash back to the most recent time you feel it wasn't affected. Still, your instincts should stay steady, even given external influence. That last instinct will be dragged in when it has to be but you will probably be fairly aware that it was dragged and it didn't come willingly.

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