As a complete newcomer to the site, I feel like I could use some assistance with determining my Enneagram Type. I've taken this [http://pstypes.blogspot.ie/2009/08/d...-back-to.html] Enneagram Test and posted the results below. I've also filled out the questionnaire which some other users in this sub-board have completed.
Any help would be much appreciated, as I'm something of a dilettante when it comes to the Enneagram, possessing a vague knowledge of all the types and the general theory but not really knowing my own type due to a lack of comprehension and an awareness of what the questions on al of the online tests are gauging (which spoils the purpose of discovering my type without bias).
Thanks a lot!
These are the aforementioned test results from blogspot page:
"The distribution of your scores:
Type 1: 3
Type 2: 11
Type 3: 6
Type 4: 16
Type 5: 15
Type 6: 10
Type 7: 5
Type 8: 13
Type 9: 5
Your probable Enneagram Type(s)
Your main type is probably 4
Considering the wings, you should be a 4w5"
Here's the questionnaire:
"1. What drives you in life? What do you look for?
I would say that a variety of factors motivate me: I'm very interested in creation, originality, self-discovery and the acquisition of knowledge. I would also say that I have a yen for success and prestige, as well as an innate longing for an ideal romantic partner, though I wouldn't say that I'm renowned for my dalliances amongst the (few) people who know me well. I'm far from prolific, and I much prefer intimate relationships with people over frivolous palaver and flings. Overall I'd say I have a compulsion to garner expertise and create things (lyrically, musically and visually) originally, and to a lesser extent, I'm also driven to achieve acclaim and an ideal relationship, so long as both of these things are supplementary to my primary drive.
2. What do you hope to accomplish in your life?
I suppose I'd like to be known for being invigorating and inspiring in my work. I'd like to artistically communicate unique thoughts and perspectives which either challenge the status quo, or intrigue others. I don't want my work to be something which is entirely apart from myself or other peoples' experiences. I hope that my work will really resonate with others and contribute to their emotional experience in a way that can be used for catharsis or just aesthetic pleasure. If you're looking for a less abstract and vague answer, I'm interested in creating music, literature and poetry as far as a career is concerned. I also enjoy making art, but it's more of a private hobby, as I'm not a particularly talented or fruitful artist.
3. What do you hope to avoid doing or being? What values are important to you?
I despise the idea of being utterly redundant and never having made a difference in the world. I want to make my mark and understand myself through self-expression. The notion of dying without truly knowing myself or creating something of note which has affected others is one which I desperately want to avoid. Also, as acquiescent and placid as I normally am, I'm quite independent (in a sort of a solitary, hermetic way =P), and I'll rapidly become stubborn and even obstreperous if I feel that someone is impinging upon my independence or trying to force me into something which I don't want to be a part of. I would say that I have strong viewpoints on my areas of interest and humanitarian subjects, but I avoid preaching them or trying to foist them upon other people. However, I'm not afraid to offer my point of view if somebody asks for it. I often feel like I'm being pulled by different energies: masculinity and femininity, happiness and sadness etc, and I'm essentially trying to find out who I really am and where I lie in the midst of everything else.
4. What are your biggest fears (not including phobias)? Why?
I suppose I have a slight fear of not remaining true to myself and compromising my values to fit in with other people. Even more strongly, I have a fear of losing interpersonal connections because I'm quite volatile in terms of my moods, and I'll rapidly isolate myself for very long periods of time if I feel hurt. At other times, I can also isolate myself when I'm functioning normally, simply because I'm a lone wolf and my hobbies consume my attention. This is why I could lose connections to the external world. I'm also afraid of never finding the (hackneyed) "one" who will complete me. This would be someone who I could merge my life with and never fear judgement from despite my eccentricities. Never finding this person is my greatest fear, and I often wonder if I'll simply go through romantic interests, feeling unfulfilled and unwilling to open up entirely until I cut myself off or die alone. I'd die a maudlin man if I never found someone worth spending my life with. I want to end my life knowing I pursued the livelihood I wanted and found the someone who completes me.
5. How do you want others to see you? How do you see yourself?
I'd like others to see me as unique, independent, mysterious, creative, sensitive and as someone worth knowing despite my eccentricities; and to an extent I believe that they do see me as such (for the most part), although I also believe that I'm perceived as more vulnerable, volatile, reclusive and anti-social than I'd like to be. I see myself as a walking contradiction; I'm someone whose emotions, intentions and self-confidence incessantly vacillate from positive to negative spheres, which probably contributes to why people see me as flaky, unreliable and anti-social. I'd say that I consider myself more emotional than others perceive to be because I'm not very mawkish and demonstrative of my emotions, and my emotions are generally darker and more explosive towards others, and not the kind of warm, fuzzy ones which some people associate with "sensitive" and "caring" people. I also see myself as nihilistic, cynical, mercurial and prone to melancholy and so do others who know me well. Casual acquaintances are usually surprised once they get to know me better and they suddenly see that I'm less two-dimensional than my initial, quiet, shy facade portrays me to be.
6. What makes you feel your best? What makes you feel your worst?
I usually feel my best when I'm doing something which engages me both emotionally and mentally, such as writing music. During these periods I lose all awareness of time and the outside world, and I find that whole hours can pass by when I'm engrossed in interesting reading material. I also feel quite alive when I'm brainstorming and conjure a particularly good idea. I usually receive a jolt of excitement on these occasions and again, I can lose hours and forget to eat during these times. My periods of feeling bad are quite spontaneous, I don't really know what sets them off. What I do know however, is that it's almost impossible to alleviate them or function well during them, and that when I'm in a dark mood I'll usually brood and procrastinate until it's over; I can never work through it. I suppose things that others say and do set me off for the most part; bad news in areas of academia and losing personal belongings/creations/chattel also upset me. I recall sulking for days after a half-filled journal of my personal writings was recycled without the perpetrator realising that it was important to me.
7. Describe how you experience each of: a) anger; b) shame; c) anxiety.
ANGER: When I feel anger -as trite as this sounds- I experience it as a paroxysm in my belly, like a tumultuous eruption of intense emotion which exudes out of my gut and flares all over my body. It's often as if whatever has made me angry has ripped out the equanimity in my gut and has left a void, or a vacuum which must be filled before I can return to normal. I try not to let my anger show because I know that I'll regret it afterwards, but I do have issues with stifling fury because it's quite volatile. I'm also quite a temperamental person, so I have a tendency to blow up in peoples' faces if I've have a bad day or if I'm in a dark mood. However, I'm usually able to reign in my anger around those I don't know well or if I'm in public in order to eschew ignominy, but I do have a propensity to lose it sometimes because the way I experience anger makes it very difficult to control.
SHAME: I'd say that I'm more familiar with shame than I am with either of the other two emotions, as I have depressive tendencies, and shame factors into it in a big way. Although I often experience an intense feeling of shame when I make a mistake or social gaffe (which makes me reluctant to return to whatever it is I was doing) I also find myself ashamed of who I am as an individual and my opinions, though I try to convince myself not to be. Even though I'm stubborn and uncompromising towards people sometimes, I usually feel ashamed of myself for being the way I am and for not being more dependable and sociable. As a result, my shame renders me reluctant to reveal too much of myself to others, as I fear that others won't accept the true me. Two people (one I consider a close friend, the other someone who I'm quite close to) have recently remarked to me that "nobody knows who you really are" and "no-one knows much about you". Despite all of the time I spend with people, my shame forces me back into my shell to the extent that I don't think that even my family know the real me, and that's why I'm so driven to find a special relationship so I can open up fully and break the shackles of shame. Shame definitely forces me to modify my behaviour.
ANXIETY: Whenever I feel anxious, it's usually quite a primal thing for me. I never feel a fleeting apprehension something, instead I'll suffer from abject anxiety which will elicit insomnia and feelings of physical illness. If I'm worried enough, my anxiety will manifest as psychosomatic illness (as it does for many people). But out of the three feelings provided, I probably experience anxiety the least frequently, although when I do feel it, it's usually quite potent and unhealthy.
8. Describe how you respond to each of: a) stress; b) unexpected change; c) conflict.
STRESS: I usually internalise my stress and don't communicate it until it becomes a chronic problem, at which stage I'll become depressed, anxious and/or physically sick. Stress often motivates me to work harder though, because I'm a habitual procrastinator and often put unnecessary pressure on myself. I can experience stress as a nervous energy as well, which often causes me to go nights without rest until I collapse and doze for 16 hours and wake up feeling dull and disoriented. I sometimes try to allay my stress with drugs or drinking in order to numb my mind.
UNEXPECTED CHANGE: It's not really specified whether this change is positive or negative, but I'll answer as best as I can. Unexpected change usually stimulates me: it's like a shock, or a burst of energy. I wouldn't say that it excites me unless it turns out to be good. I'm often willing to adapt in the face of unexpected change, but if I had my heart set on doing something and there's an unexpected change which denies me what I wanted, then I can become angry and stubborn.
CONFLICT: I do my best to avoid conflict because it causes me a good deal of distress and it's toxic to relationships. I'd say that I'm more of a passive/aggressive sort of person, so if I've made a conscious decision to engage someone in conflict, it'll be in a passive/aggressive way. If I'm met head-on by someone who want to have a shouting match, then I'll have a shouting match with them because they've started it. However, I would internalise all of that malcontent and feel hurt by it afterwards, so a shouting match with someone will usually cause me to ruminate and put me in a bad mood for a long time. Overall I don't really like the idea of associating with the anger of others, it unsettles me.
9. Describe your orientation to: a) authority; b) power. How do you respond to these?
AUTHORITY: I harbour some negative connotations towards the word "authority", not because I'm obsessively iconoclastic or seditious, but I associate it with constriction and being limited. I'll either submit to authority if I agree with it, or else I'll rebel against it until it indulges my wishes. I prefer to maintain my own sense of freedom.
POWER: I don't really like the idea of having power. I believe that power corrupts and the only person I want absolute power over is myself, which is why I don't like restrictive authority figures/systems. I suppose my lack of interest in having power over others is due to my respect for others' freedom (and my incredible laziness; I'm barely capable of being responsible for myself!).
10. What is your overall outlook on life and humanity?
I try to live my life how I want, and in a way that is true to myself regardless of the input of others. I think that the most important thing in life is finding out who you really are, accepting yourself for who you really are and then finding someone who loves you for who you are. I find that humanity is well intentioned but misguided: all you have to do is look at the spread of wealth and the disproportionate use of resources worldwide to validate that point. As nihilistic and cynical as I am, I do my best to see good in people, even if I sometimes struggle to find any in myself."
Thanks a lot again for reading!