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Thread: I??P

  1. #1

    Default I??P

    Hey, so after some time of researching functions and trying to find them in myself, which didn't go really well, I decided to come here once more and to try to do it once more.

    There are many problems that really mess with my head during assesment, and self doubting surely is one of them. For some time I've been set on INFP and then suddenly I've started to doubt every part of that assessment. So the main problem I have is assessing my auxiliary function. I'm certain of beign an introvert and that's really that, everything else is kinda weird. When I was a child, well at least first thing I remember, is being really absorbed into solving logic puzzles (I especially admired ones that had multiple solutions and would spend my day trying to find everything). I had parents that were really concerned with my health so they pushed me to do sport. I kinda liked it but not that much. When I became older that was really something that got kinda between us. They were always trying to get me outside and what I wanted was to play games and read books. Those things were my passion from day one. At that time I started to go in school (was pretty good at it, didn't find it problematic at all. I esepcially liked maths and languagegs) and met people that somehow did connect me with real world a little more. Before that I had only one friend and we would spend whole days creating whole sorts of imaginary scenarios (we mostly enjoyed in the preparation of them, action was really secondary...) When I look at children today I seldom find ones with 'wild' imaginations like mine at that time. Today if there's one thing I hate the most is my loss of that imagination. It's like lose of innocence.

    Yeah, like I said I was good at school. Part of it due to my being pretty clever and part of it due to my parent's obsession with good grades. They weren't bad parents, no way, they were really good, but sometimes I wonder if I wouldn't have so many problems today if they had some other values. I was really confused and in my head as child, not paying attention when I didn't find things interesting, always losing things etc... I actually find school pretty good and enjoyed learning new things, with hands on subjects being something I really hate. I never understood experimental validation as well. Words were something I really enjoyed. Speaking of words, at my early age, I was obsessed with numbers. Everyone thought that I love cars and stuff like that, but oh boy were numbers really the thing I liked. I can't remember being sensorish ( actually, there was one thing. I had cold ears fetish. It was kind of addiction). Until age of 16 or so I didn't even realize I had a body: I even went in pajamas in school sometimes, didn't need to eat for a whole day and so on. Never realized what people meant when they said I look unhealthy. Realiziation hit me when I became older, and at that time I had a quick crusade concerned with my body health which I even kinda enjoyed when it was new (exercising right). But it all became sort of unnatural to me like it was before very quickly.

    I believe that everything I said seems thinkerish but I'm not so certain. Nowadays I'm all about emotions which could hint at inferior Fe manifesting, but again I'm not so certain. I've taken up colledge that deals with people and it seems natural to me, more than anything scientifical anyways. I don't really like idea of colledge. If I could I would like to try to learn a bit of everything and not just one subject with all its details. It's boring to know all. Sometimes I've imagined myself in future but that were all impressions and nothing with it had to to with concrete things. Just a group of thoughts and feelings which were likely to happen.

    Speaking of time I'm very nostalgic. Actually, wait a minute. I was bullied really much in school and it really got stuck with me. A mere sight of bullies today angers me to unbelievable heights. It's hard to me to let go of past, as it constantly haunts me. I was always very quiet and shy and past experiences only worsened things up. I have a constant fear of things repeating and to some extent they did. I can't even open myself up in real life nowadays, with bad memories not wanting to let me go. I seem like coldest person alive. I'm full of sarcasm and cynism. Lurking personality formus actually helped me alot and it is kinda easier for me now, so thanks a lot guys I appreciate it. I'm even not afraid of showing how different I am and people recognize that ( no, I'm not gay xD).

    Anyways, yes, nostalgy. Something that really started to manifest a few years ago and now has completely overtaken me. I like to travel to places I've visited and that hold dear memories for me and remember everything. I remember one such travel which was supposed to remind me of being a carefree child and when I got there I found out that the flowers, which I had so vividly painted in my memories, were not there. Hell, I don't even know if there ever were flowers there, perhaps they were some subconscious manifestation of happiness, but I know that I had them in my mind and for me that was enough. When I found out that they were not there I got really sad.

    Nowadays I'm trying to categorize world around me, trying to find something that will show me entire world as a box with labels on it, but my search for something like that didn't really happen. I read a lot and everything I read seems possible. I don't believe that I'll ever find a universal pattern. I have multiple ideas of world view and that's fine with me, I won't go for any ultimate T.R.U.T.H. searching quest.

    I've been often criticized of being inattentive to surroundings, talking of other people (even mine to some extent) and things like that. I don't know if that's natural for me in such way or I'm badly damaged introvert, I've been like that since always. Funny story, I went into building of colledge that I was supposed to take and was exploring it and reading stuff on doors ( you know name of classes and that) and didn't find it weird at all that all classes were concerned with technology. And i attend philosophycal colledge. I even thought, whoa they are really diverse. Needles to say I was in a wrong building.

    Another problem that bothers me alot is a constant disagreement between imagined and real. It's impossible for me to function properly in world as things that happen arround me lack grandiosity that I had in mind. I never had any serious realationship, and by that I mean any kind of relationship at all. Why? I don't know really. There's always something that I find lacking in women that are interested in me. No it's not sense of conquer or anything like that. I don't like when I have to chase girls, I don't get any satisfaction from that. But really, there will be always something, probably a minor thing, and eventhough they are great with everything you could hope of, my inability to understand that fantasy can't be real will make it appear as a huge stain. I've spent whole my life dreaming of someone that'll really click with my ideas, an idea soulmate, even muse perhaps, but I've been left with no knowledge of how to find something like that in people around me. I sometimes wonder whether my view is really a broken mirror, with everything being upside down, myself included. Am I really the way I see myself or am I just a sleazy nobody with a head in clouds. I find it hard to believe that there was nobody untill this point that showed that platonic connection. Maybe there were, but I really hate that game of cat and mouse.

    There are even times when I reject everything bodily with absolute disgust. Inferior Se perhaps? Or even aux and that's something that's causing the tear? I find no satisfaction in any hedonistic behaviour and think only of what could happen in future, and while not always having negative diviation, I ultimately fail to see any purpose. I'd like to transcend everything bodily into whole new realm.

    Sorry for text being so scattered. I hope you'll find some time and help me, or if you'd like but think that there's information missing, ask me additional questions and I'll gladly answer.

  2. #2
    Honeyed Water Array thoughtlost's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2013



    I am not the best typist, so I hope someone more knowledge responds soon. Still, I'd like to give it a shot.

    Your writing does seem to be a little scattered. I would like to think that's a product of Ne. Everything else does sound Feel-erish, but at the same time, it's interesting that you care about "catergorizing the world" what does that mean to you?

    ...And that's all I can conclude for now, lol.

  3. #3
    Senior Member Array Mal12345's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    5w4 sx/sp
    LII Ni


    "Despite all their gifts, INFPs are cursed with indecision and self-doubt. They can be very self conscious and perfectionist tendencies make them too harsh on themselves. Their high standards can complicate team work. Too big work loads are common since INFPs find it difficult to say no."

    Don't just read the quote, read the entire description at the link. It's not long.
    "I absorb energy like a sponge everywhere I go. It allows me to see the world and my purpose in it." Zak Bagans, Ghost Adventures (INFJ)

  4. #4


    It's a categorization that tries to find out underlying recurring themes, connections and patterns in order to explain every scenario that happened, is happening or could happen. Ultimately or maybe consquently, its purpose is to find a way to understand differences between every human being and to show that everybody is beautiful in some aspect.

    I'll definitely read it, but now I have to go to sleep. I'd just like to add one more thought before I do that.

    There's been a ton of descriptions that I read until now and felt a connection with, INFP included. But I found everything that had to do with INFJ, INTP, ISFP (practicality aside) true as well. That's why I decided to dig into functions in a first place. It's all about Ne then! That's probably the reason I told everything I could think of, real life examples included. To get over with everything would be great, and I'm prepared to take leap of faith but any proof of Ne/Se would help me tremendeously.

  5. #5
    Infinite Bubble


    I think you are most probably an ENTP. Ne-Si and Ti-Fe function pairs are both quite clear to me. INTP is also possible, but I'm leaning towards ENTP because their Fe is reasonably higher, and it appears the development of which maybe causing a more emotional and people-oriented side compared to when you were younger. The hauntings from the past, general nostalgia, unawareness of the body and its needs, and hatred for bullies occurring from past association point to inferior Si. In fact, your problems with the past are probably apparitions of the inferior. Furthermore, thinking that a flower could be an unconscious manifestation of happiness is evidential for inferior Si - the concept in itself is reminiscent of Si, and the insurity/unconscious nature of it for you points that it is in the inferior position.

  6. #6


    I know it's been probably kind of rude or it may seem that I lack interest in your assessments, but I just wasn't able to reply before today. I had a ton of unfinished work and draining myself with another overanalyzing seemed like a bad idea, especially when already being drained by things I don't like. I guessed that trying to objectively express myself could be an idea that would unexpectedly backfire during the periods of stress.

    Now, about your assessments. Actually, I'd like to state my remark first. Having extensively researched theory I tried fitting some real examples in it in a way to prove myself that I 'get it' only to find two things: one that has to do with my dillema and another that complicates things from the start. Now, I'll start with the bigger problem first. During the process I discovered that the original definitions of functions had tendency of being subjected to personal interpretations that I believe resulted in distorted shadows of original ideas. I get that something like that, especially something losely defined as cognitive functions are in first place, has to be taken as a starting point and not as a complete framework, I really do. Problem is that I've seen so many contradictory juxtapositions that I really have no clue in what to believe or not believe anymore. I think I am forced to act upon intuition now and I think that went well. I had some success with typing and most of the time I got things right to atleast satisfactory degree. Now for some time I was okay with that, smoking cigar gallantly and laughing like some ADD on cocaine because I was The Great Typist (wink wink), but sooner or latter problems were bound to follow. Which brings me to the point - I'm not able to use that intuition on myself and I won't be really able to provide you with useful insights so sorry in advance.

    Second problem, being also completely unrelated to my situtation, is something that I'd like to discuss as well. The biggest and I mean the most problematic thing with self analysis is that closed thought system. Upon trying to determine your type you immediately get huge warning sign: intuition good, sensing bad. So when I look at forums the first things I see are: 1. "Oh god, am I such an INTP. I'm so cold and detached and calm but I also yearn for love and am not like my ISTP friend who wants to have sex with everyone. Gee, is he a walky-talky sex machine. I also like programming and hate sport and love mathematics and I'm so good omg and gee did I tell you how boring these ISTPs are, I'd really like to bash their brains out.
    2. oooooooMMggg I'm such an INFP. I always dream of unicorns, ponys, shiny colors, people with unicorn horns, looool am I so random NE NE NE, and did I tell you about unicorns. I alsooo adore philosophy lol especially existentialism cus it's just like me and I also have theories of my own lool. Yeah I'd also like to bash ISFPs brains out, but with a sugarcoated banana hammer.

    Now you can see how that can confuse people, myself included. But enough of bashing (pun pun pun), I know it's stupid . I didn't mean to even do that but it got better of me. Onto results.
    @Infinite Bubble
    ENTP would really be my dreamtype but unfortunately that's not possible. I'm not drained by lack of human contact at all and can remain in solitude for many days. I sometimes have the need to discuss my ideas with someone, but upon doing it I can be safe for quite some time once more. I'm definitely sure of that. I completely lack social skills as well. I hope other introverted guys don't have such problems, because the way I see it introversion definitely isn't yearned for in world today. There are some types that I'm left with: INFP, INTP, ISFP, ISTP and INFJ. Well, sometimes I think I got it narrowed to Ti because I do a lot of 'stop and think' in my speech but then I remember other instances where I got a new idea simply by talking and so on and so on I get stuck in loop again. I think of past experiences to much instead of relying on what I can know right now and getting to conclusion becomes a hell. I also think I was sort of sensitive as a kid, had a strong bonds with animals which feels like strong F. If I know one thing, it's that Fi can be quite prone to moulding compared to Ti. Many INFPs begin to exhibit thinkerish traits due to Fi abuse, usually by peers. But when I'm feeling kind of blue, I rarely think of feelings itself. I usually think of my intellectual inferiority. Could be 4w5 (5w4) eneagram combo but I don't know. Seems funny to me that I never showed that drama queen INFP stuff, but when looking at INFPs like Nick Cave I see it's not definitely a must have trait. I haven't really see inferior Te in myself but neither do I know If I have Fe in my stack. I keep a lot of things from my past, not because I have some connection with them itself, but they remind me of past (defined as quintessential Si) but roughly put, I've seen a hell lot of Ni-doms obssesed with time. You can understand that when, in my dream, I walked into room full of greatest people who ever lived, out of which politicians occupied the most of the room and said lol I'm Si+Ne because I'm stuck in past most of them were laughing so much even they asses started to laugh. Mind you, that was 50 years in a future, where there was a new tax which forced the wealthiest people to give half of their money to charity and God said that they are the greatest philantropists ever so it's no wonder that there was so many pollitiancs. Sad that there wasn't no god sitting in a room, he's such a nice chap. I bet he drinks tea every morning like a true gent.

    I don't know really what to say anymore so if anyone of you has some questions, just ask and I'll answer them gladly. I'm not so much into searching the true type but elliminating ones that surely aren't me so even suggestion like 'you're no xxxx because ffff will be gladly appreciated". Thanks for the input so far and am hoping to hear from you even more info!

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