1. What drives you in life? What do you look for?
I am looking for fulfillment. Experiences, excitement, knowledge, appreciation, connection, spiritual growth.
2. What do you hope to accomplish in your life?
However stupid or egocentrically it might sound I want to be unique and inspiring. As an artistically oriented person, I want to make music. Music that is inspiring and motivative, yet honest and raw. I want to write my own lyrics, that would deal with emotions, sensitivity and yet have references to reality and its nature. Nothing idealistic, or sweet... Just emotional, raw and honest music. Maybe write my own poems, or political articles. I study journalism, so I think I choose the right way to write about politics and news. I am also very interested in society and politics. I could imagine myself being a part of liberal political part with humanistic and green ideas. I need something with strong idea and motivation toward change and future.
3. What do you hope to avoid doing or being? What values are important to you?
I would hate to be boring, unoriginal or stereotyping. I also strongly dislike conservative and close minded individuals and I'd for sure hate to be one of them. I want go with changes and trends, stay open minded and liberal. I want my life to be original and exciting. I want to travel and collect new knowledge and informations. I also want to be creative, self expressive with young and fresh ideas. Administrative work and family life wihout any excitement, or chance to be creative and expressive would be the murder of my individuality. After all... I think it's the murder of everyone's individuality and I know some people are going to hate me..but I don't understand why people do this commitments and I hope I never will.
4. What are your biggest fears (not including phobias)? Why?
Stupid again... Please don't judge me too much, but my biggest fear is stereotype and unoriginality. I also hate to feel tied up, I literally feel panickly scared, when I know there is no escape from something. I always need to feel like...it's okay I can escape whenever I want to. Sometimes it's so bad, that I am scared out of this reality, because I can't escape it and I feel like I am tied up to its rules. I know it's stupid, but I feel like that pretty often. Maybe it's good to point out I have panic disorder and I have panic attacks, when I think about this too much and I sometimes deal with feelings of derealization..
5. How do you want others to see you? How do you see yourself?
I want others to see me as strong, individualistic, creative, down to earth, aesthetic, artistic and fashionable. I also want to have higher social status and attention. I see myself as weak, unrealistic, overemotional, negativistic, moody, often angry, depressive...whatever my type is, I think I am not healthy. But around people I usually show my talkative, happy, artistic and creative side.
6. What makes you feel your best? What makes you feel your worst?
Best- listening to music, that describes what I feel. When I am creative, I can express myself, I am accepted by others and I have some kind of special attention. I am narcistc attention whore, who thinks she's more original and talented, than she really is...fuck I know...Worst- When I know people don't like me, I am rejected, or unwanted. When I see someone more original and more naturally charismatic, with better style and all these things that are not freaking matter, so I don't know why they matter to me...
7. Describe how you experience each of: a) anger; b) shame; c) anxiety.
anger- I often feel angry. At myself, world, people... I guess it's due to my negative way of thinking. Nevermind... it's not so bad anyway, I can be happy and angry at the same time.
shame- I experienced this feelings so many times in my life, that I think I created a block against it with my nevermind I don't give a fuck attitude and I rather make fun of these situations. Sometimes I like to make fool out of myself, I don't like people who take them selves too serious.
anxiety- well I have panic disorder so you can guess how I deal with anxiety...
8. Describe how you respond to each of: a) stress; b) unexpected change; c) conflict.
stress- Not really well... I often do everything at the last time and I often stay cool, I don't care about much things, that I should, but when the real stress comes I usually just feel the inner tension, anger and nervosity.
b) unexpected change- I like changes...life would be boring without them. But I am also somehow afraid of them and usually when really unexpected change comes I like to stick to the plan with all my stubborness.
conflict- I like to stand up for my thoughts and opinions. Usually in conflict I go totally passionate and illogical, but I don't afraid of it.
9. Describe your orientation to: a) authority; b) power. How do you respond to these?
authority- No! Freedom and open rules... that's what I believe in.
power- Why is power is important? It leads to manipulation, and limits...so nope!
10. What is your overall outlook on life and humanity?
Enjoy life, die young, experience whatever you can. Live life to its fullest, so you won't regret anything when you'll be old.
Humanity can give us the feeling of connection and being understood. it's good to be a part of, it's not good to believe in it.