chickpea
perfect person
- Joined
- Sep 12, 2009
- Messages
- 5,729
- MBTI Type
- INFP
- Enneagram
- 4w5
- Instinctual Variant
- sp/sx
I've had my enneagram type questioned a few times, so I decided to fill out this thing to get a better opinion.
Core type, tritype, instinctual variant, whatever you want. I typed this all on my phone so it might be sloppy.
What age range are you in?
I'm 22 years old.
Any disorders or conditions we should know about?
I've been diagnosed with ADD, definitely suffer from depression but I've never been diagnosed or treated for it. Drug use might affect my personality as well.
Main Questions:
1. What do you think your life is about? What drives you in life? This can be something like a goal or a purpose, or anything else that comes to mind.
I'm not at a point yet where I have any meaningful career goals or real sense of what I want to do with myself. I care a lot about having an interesting life though, and building experiences that I can learn from and look back on. My relationships are very important to me too, and I'm influenced a lot by the people I'm closest to. I'm still trying to figure myself out and find out what the best path is for me to take.
2. What were you like as a kid?
I was very precocious as a little kid, learned how to read at an early age and always wanted to be a step ahead of where I was supposed to be. I always had at least a couple friends but I was never popular. I lacked social graces- especially tact. I thought being honest and speaking my mind was very important. I was never a "bad" kid but I liked to push my boundaries and see what I could get away with. I moved a lot, especially from ages 6-11 so I had to start over and make new friends a lot. I also skipped 1st grade so I was always a year younger than my classmates which I feel made me a little bit of an outcast.
3. Describe your relationship with your parents. Does anything stand out about the way you interacted?
Well, I'll start with my dad since its shorter. On a surface level, we got along better than me and my mom. We had similar senses of humor, both kinda lazy, liked watching TV and movies, and he wasn't the disciplinarian. He was a doctor until I was 6 or 7 years old and lost his medical license for writing himself prescriptions. A lot of this was hidden from me as a child but after that he spent a lot of time just sitting on the couch all day drunk or high so I was very embarrassed of him. My parents separated when I was 8, he moved far away and I saw very little of him after that. I don't see him as a bad person, but a weak one and I have very little respect for him. (INTP 5w4 is what me and my mom decided for him.)
My mom cares about me deeply but is very emotionally volatile, so even as a child she was somebody I had to walk on eggshells around. She has a very bad temper, but also gets over them quickly so I never took any of her punishments very seriously because I knew she'd always forget about them. My reaction to her temper was always to stay calm, I don't really open up to her emotionally at all because I don't trust her to not use it against me in some crazy moment. She's probably the one person who really has my back- which I'm ambivalent about. She wasn't overprotective and gave me a lot of freedom, tried to educate me and expose me to a lot of things. (ENFP 7w6)
4. What values are important to you? What do you hope to avoid doing or being?
Honesty is very important to me. I'm constantly trying to check my own bullshit and make sure I'm being authentic at all times. I avoid ignorance at all costs, if I'm ever not sure of something I investigate it on my own because people asking stupid questions makes me cringe.
5. Aside from phobias, are there any fears that characterized your childhood? Have they continued into the present day, or not, and if not, how have you dealt with them?
I guess a fear of rejection or failure that keeps me from making an effort. Haven't really dealt with it unfortunately.
6. a.) How do you see yourself?
Pretty fucking negatively. I tend to focus on the bad in myself and its difficult not to. I think I'm lazy, over-sensitive, stubborn and feel blocked in a lot of ways. On the plus side I think I'm relatively intelligent, a good and loyal friend, and surprisingly strong.
b.) How do you want others to see you?
Smart, funny, laid back, interesting, "cool" whatever that means. Mysterious.
c.) What do you dislike the most in other people?
Dishonesty. I really can't understand people who are constantly making up stories about themselves, but even dishonesty on a smaller level bothers me a lot. I don't like people who try to push their own agenda too heavily or expect others to live by their standards. People who are abusive or cruel. Ignorant people.
7. Which habit do you most automatically act on? Rank the following habits from most to least automatic, on a scale of 1 (most) to 3 (least).
a.) Work for personal gain with more concern for self than for others.
b.) Strive for a sense of tranquility in yourself and the world around you
c.) Decide what is right for the betterment of something or someone else.
1) a, 2) b, 3) c
Hard to choose though.
8. Where does the wandering mind take you? What provokes this?
I daydream constantly, it doesn't take much to start it. I think about the past a lot, experiences, people, conversations. I have imaginary conversations with people I know in my mind a lot. Sometimes I'm kinda rehearsing a future talk we may have but mostly not. It's a way of trying to see myself through another person's perspective. I worry a lot but those are the thoughts I try to block out the most because they're the most harmful.
9. What makes you feel your best? What makes you feel your worst?
At my best I'm comfortable, feel loved and appreciated, mentally stimulated.
At my worst I feel alone, without hope, betrayed, and rejected.
10. Let's talk about emotions. Explain what might make you feel the following, how they feel to you or how you react to the emotion:
a.) anger:
I'll get angry if I feel like I've been cheated, lied to, or just frustrated because I'm being prevented from accomplishing what I want for unfair reasons. I hold my anger in a lot, I don't have a temper and I can be passive-aggressive or just ignore the target of my anger until it fades.
b.) shame:
Shame's brought on by feeling stupid, inferior to others. Having something negative about myself revealed that I'm not comfortable with. I'm kinda ashamed of feeling ashamed even so I try to play things off as gracefully as possible. Feel angry towards the source of the shame. Pretend like it doesn't affect me.
c.) anxiety
A lot of my anxiety probably is related to shame. I'm pretty socially anxious depending on who I'm around. I'm anxious about not being able to control myself. I tend to not get anxious about things I should.. I put myself into a lot of risky situations that don't register in my mind as much as something stupid like a phone call or public speaking. It manifests very physically in me, my heart races and my body and voice shakes if its bad enough.
11. Describe how you respond to the following:
a.) stress:
Ignore it as much as possible. Avoid stressful situations. Zone out.
b.) negative unexpected change:
Try to adjust to it but end up whining about it to whoever will listen to me. I expect negative things to happen to me, honestly.
c.) conflict
Depends on what kind of conflict, but I typically try to be reasonable, keep the upper hand emotionally. If its something very serious to me, I can't be self-controlled though and will go the opposite direction and either be very hurtful or act very hurt myself.
12. a.) What kind of role are you naturally inclined to take in a group? Why?
I wouldn't call myself a follower, but not a leader either. I'd prefer to do my own thing but am comfortable going with the flow if it's nothing that's offensive to me. Socially, I tend to be the youngest person in the group. Also I'm usually attached to one or two people and not part of the larger group so much.
b.) If put in power, how do you behave? Why?
Probably annoyed because I'd rather not be in power. I'll try to get input from the group, but probably just go with what I think is best anyway.
c.) Do you tend to struggle with others who have authority over you? Why?
Not struggle, I try to avoid authority figures as much as possible and stay under the radar. The less attention I draw to myself, the more I can get away with.
13. What do you see or notice in others that most people don't?
Hmm.. People's intentions maybe? I try to understand why they do what they do, where it could be coming from. Patterns in their behavior.
14. Comment on your relationship with trust.
I have a very hard time with it and am afraid to truly open up to anybody. There are degrees of trust obviously, and I let some people into my life in a way that makes me very vulnerable. But there's always a part that I keep to myself out of fear.
15. Briefly: What religious and/or political beliefs do you have? Do you think they influenced your responses in this questionnaire?
I'm not religious, I have some spiritual beliefs but nothing that would influence this. I'm politically liberal but I think that's more influenced by my personality than vice versa.
Core type, tritype, instinctual variant, whatever you want. I typed this all on my phone so it might be sloppy.
What age range are you in?
I'm 22 years old.
Any disorders or conditions we should know about?
I've been diagnosed with ADD, definitely suffer from depression but I've never been diagnosed or treated for it. Drug use might affect my personality as well.
Main Questions:
1. What do you think your life is about? What drives you in life? This can be something like a goal or a purpose, or anything else that comes to mind.
I'm not at a point yet where I have any meaningful career goals or real sense of what I want to do with myself. I care a lot about having an interesting life though, and building experiences that I can learn from and look back on. My relationships are very important to me too, and I'm influenced a lot by the people I'm closest to. I'm still trying to figure myself out and find out what the best path is for me to take.
2. What were you like as a kid?
I was very precocious as a little kid, learned how to read at an early age and always wanted to be a step ahead of where I was supposed to be. I always had at least a couple friends but I was never popular. I lacked social graces- especially tact. I thought being honest and speaking my mind was very important. I was never a "bad" kid but I liked to push my boundaries and see what I could get away with. I moved a lot, especially from ages 6-11 so I had to start over and make new friends a lot. I also skipped 1st grade so I was always a year younger than my classmates which I feel made me a little bit of an outcast.
3. Describe your relationship with your parents. Does anything stand out about the way you interacted?
Well, I'll start with my dad since its shorter. On a surface level, we got along better than me and my mom. We had similar senses of humor, both kinda lazy, liked watching TV and movies, and he wasn't the disciplinarian. He was a doctor until I was 6 or 7 years old and lost his medical license for writing himself prescriptions. A lot of this was hidden from me as a child but after that he spent a lot of time just sitting on the couch all day drunk or high so I was very embarrassed of him. My parents separated when I was 8, he moved far away and I saw very little of him after that. I don't see him as a bad person, but a weak one and I have very little respect for him. (INTP 5w4 is what me and my mom decided for him.)
My mom cares about me deeply but is very emotionally volatile, so even as a child she was somebody I had to walk on eggshells around. She has a very bad temper, but also gets over them quickly so I never took any of her punishments very seriously because I knew she'd always forget about them. My reaction to her temper was always to stay calm, I don't really open up to her emotionally at all because I don't trust her to not use it against me in some crazy moment. She's probably the one person who really has my back- which I'm ambivalent about. She wasn't overprotective and gave me a lot of freedom, tried to educate me and expose me to a lot of things. (ENFP 7w6)
4. What values are important to you? What do you hope to avoid doing or being?
Honesty is very important to me. I'm constantly trying to check my own bullshit and make sure I'm being authentic at all times. I avoid ignorance at all costs, if I'm ever not sure of something I investigate it on my own because people asking stupid questions makes me cringe.
5. Aside from phobias, are there any fears that characterized your childhood? Have they continued into the present day, or not, and if not, how have you dealt with them?
I guess a fear of rejection or failure that keeps me from making an effort. Haven't really dealt with it unfortunately.
6. a.) How do you see yourself?
Pretty fucking negatively. I tend to focus on the bad in myself and its difficult not to. I think I'm lazy, over-sensitive, stubborn and feel blocked in a lot of ways. On the plus side I think I'm relatively intelligent, a good and loyal friend, and surprisingly strong.
b.) How do you want others to see you?
Smart, funny, laid back, interesting, "cool" whatever that means. Mysterious.
c.) What do you dislike the most in other people?
Dishonesty. I really can't understand people who are constantly making up stories about themselves, but even dishonesty on a smaller level bothers me a lot. I don't like people who try to push their own agenda too heavily or expect others to live by their standards. People who are abusive or cruel. Ignorant people.
7. Which habit do you most automatically act on? Rank the following habits from most to least automatic, on a scale of 1 (most) to 3 (least).
a.) Work for personal gain with more concern for self than for others.
b.) Strive for a sense of tranquility in yourself and the world around you
c.) Decide what is right for the betterment of something or someone else.
1) a, 2) b, 3) c
Hard to choose though.
8. Where does the wandering mind take you? What provokes this?
I daydream constantly, it doesn't take much to start it. I think about the past a lot, experiences, people, conversations. I have imaginary conversations with people I know in my mind a lot. Sometimes I'm kinda rehearsing a future talk we may have but mostly not. It's a way of trying to see myself through another person's perspective. I worry a lot but those are the thoughts I try to block out the most because they're the most harmful.
9. What makes you feel your best? What makes you feel your worst?
At my best I'm comfortable, feel loved and appreciated, mentally stimulated.
At my worst I feel alone, without hope, betrayed, and rejected.
10. Let's talk about emotions. Explain what might make you feel the following, how they feel to you or how you react to the emotion:
a.) anger:
I'll get angry if I feel like I've been cheated, lied to, or just frustrated because I'm being prevented from accomplishing what I want for unfair reasons. I hold my anger in a lot, I don't have a temper and I can be passive-aggressive or just ignore the target of my anger until it fades.
b.) shame:
Shame's brought on by feeling stupid, inferior to others. Having something negative about myself revealed that I'm not comfortable with. I'm kinda ashamed of feeling ashamed even so I try to play things off as gracefully as possible. Feel angry towards the source of the shame. Pretend like it doesn't affect me.
c.) anxiety
A lot of my anxiety probably is related to shame. I'm pretty socially anxious depending on who I'm around. I'm anxious about not being able to control myself. I tend to not get anxious about things I should.. I put myself into a lot of risky situations that don't register in my mind as much as something stupid like a phone call or public speaking. It manifests very physically in me, my heart races and my body and voice shakes if its bad enough.
11. Describe how you respond to the following:
a.) stress:
Ignore it as much as possible. Avoid stressful situations. Zone out.
b.) negative unexpected change:
Try to adjust to it but end up whining about it to whoever will listen to me. I expect negative things to happen to me, honestly.
c.) conflict
Depends on what kind of conflict, but I typically try to be reasonable, keep the upper hand emotionally. If its something very serious to me, I can't be self-controlled though and will go the opposite direction and either be very hurtful or act very hurt myself.
12. a.) What kind of role are you naturally inclined to take in a group? Why?
I wouldn't call myself a follower, but not a leader either. I'd prefer to do my own thing but am comfortable going with the flow if it's nothing that's offensive to me. Socially, I tend to be the youngest person in the group. Also I'm usually attached to one or two people and not part of the larger group so much.
b.) If put in power, how do you behave? Why?
Probably annoyed because I'd rather not be in power. I'll try to get input from the group, but probably just go with what I think is best anyway.
c.) Do you tend to struggle with others who have authority over you? Why?
Not struggle, I try to avoid authority figures as much as possible and stay under the radar. The less attention I draw to myself, the more I can get away with.
13. What do you see or notice in others that most people don't?
Hmm.. People's intentions maybe? I try to understand why they do what they do, where it could be coming from. Patterns in their behavior.
14. Comment on your relationship with trust.
I have a very hard time with it and am afraid to truly open up to anybody. There are degrees of trust obviously, and I let some people into my life in a way that makes me very vulnerable. But there's always a part that I keep to myself out of fear.
15. Briefly: What religious and/or political beliefs do you have? Do you think they influenced your responses in this questionnaire?
I'm not religious, I have some spiritual beliefs but nothing that would influence this. I'm politically liberal but I think that's more influenced by my personality than vice versa.
come on
