Trying to figure out my instinctual variant

[Infinite Bubble]

For a long time I have assumed I was a self-preservation type, but realised now that it may not be the case after all. For instance, I really do not care about my physical comfort, safety and security and I ignore my body most of the time. A big example of this is that I have a diet (for weight gain) that is in need of implementation as recommended by a nutritionist, but - to the frustration of people close to me - I have a very difficult time keeping with it and sometimes have shown a complete disregard and disinterest in it all together. This sort of thing just isn't normally of any importance usually. I don't look after myself very well.

It also annoys me intensely that the vast majority of people settle down, and have boring, mundane jobs because they care about security too much, stagnating away their life. Stagnation is one of my worst nightmares, and that type of lifestyle would be just awful - I'd rather be insecure but do what I enjoy, than secure (financially, physically etc) but with the drawback of doing activities I hate. What's the point of that, when one only has a single chance to live?

So after some thought, Sp doesn't seem that likely, even if some of the behavioral stereotypes fit. But I cannot figure out which other would replace it. Both could, to be honest. I live to work - but what I want to do and what interests me, and at some point would like to release it into the world to add something to human knowledge/achievement. That seems kind of like Soc. But I can also see Sx needing a situation that completes them and wanting the intensity, because the mundanity of the average life just won't do it.

Anyway, is there any ways that would help me figure out which one fits the best? Perhaps a question or two, or source to some particularly accurate descriptions. Also, if it is possible to tell, is there any variant that sticks out for me?

 

[Chad of the OttomanEmpire]

[MENTION=17266]Infinite Bubble[/MENTION]

Hi there. When I first learned about the instincts, I thought I was sp-first, too. I think this is common among withdrawn types--we relate to being "introverted", wanting to stay in and conserve energy, etc. Based on what you've related here, you sound sp-last, if anything.

Here's some things that helped me:
- Know your type and tritype--that can shed light on what's instinct-related and what's just another part of your personality. (One of the reasons I related to sp-first, for instance, was because I am 6-fixed, so I tend to take precautions and worry about bad things that could happen to my health).
- Also reassess your cognitive functions. I'm assuming you're correctly typed on all fronts, of course, but sometimes it helps to know what's JCF-related vs enneagram-related vs instinct related. (And again, I'm speaking from experience--Si-inferior can cause hypochondria, for instance, making it seem more "sp". Introversion and sp-firstness tend to overlap. Fe-dom sounds like soc-first. Etc.)
- Determine which instinct has --

• given you the most "trouble"--that's the one you are. It's the one that gives you hangups and self-doubts, sometimes even self-esteem issues. Be aware that sometimes its unhealthy manifestation may look like the opposite of the way it's described (e.g., the anti-social social-first.)

• 2. you are comfortable with. That should be the middle instinct. We tend to enjoy this area, create within it, and use it to support the first.

• 3. you neglect. Sometimes this isn't obvious, and it can help to compare. Usually, your last instinct will annoy you when you see someone freaking out about these matters. (For example, as an sp-last, I get like sooper annoyed when someone repeatedly worries about the house burning down, asks me if I remembered to lock the door, worries obsessively about retirement, or devotes all energy to the acquisition of money when there are so many more interesting things to do.

- Another reliable test is to ask yourself what makes you behave badly. Sp-firsts tend to freak out about that realm when it's threatened. Soc-firsts tend to get upset when something threatens them in that sphere. Sx-firsts act up generally in intimate relationships. Give that some thought.

There's a really good thread about it here--read through it, get a sense of each, and see if you can come to any conclusions. (WARNING: it may confuse you more at first).
http://personalitycafe.com/enneagra...ce-thread-instinctual-variants-stackings.html
This is the more credible stuff you'll read about the instincts online.

Good luck!!

 

[Infinite Bubble]

Wow, thank you very much, that is extremely helpful. Right now I think So/Sx is a definite contender because perhaps my social anxiety and general self-consciousness could stem from that. Could soc-first create SA, or is that maybe a soc blind spot thing? What is said about the unhealthy manifestation of soc seems like how I was a year or so ago too.

For example, as an sp-last, I get like sooper annoyed when someone repeatedly worries about the house burning down, asks me if I remembered to lock the door, worries obsessively about retirement, or devotes all energy to the acquisition of money when there are so many more interesting things to do.

I relate to that very much, that's the sort of stuff I dislike talking about or being with someone like that.

 

[Infinite Bubble]

Double post, yay. There really needs to be an option to delete your posts.

 

[Chad of the OttomanEmpire]

Wow, thank you very much, that is extremely helpful. Right now I think So/Sx is a definite contender because perhaps my social anxiety and general self-consciousness could stem from that. Could soc-first create SA, or is that maybe a soc blind spot thing? What is said about the unhealthy manifestation of soc seems like how I was a year or so ago too.

Yes, I believe soc-firsters often experience anxiety around social-related things, although if it's a clinical problem with you, it might actually be unrelated. Social-lasters are actually less likely to care about "keeping in touch", thinking of their relation to society, etc. (or simply care less; we're all human after all). Still, if you see yourself in the unhealthy manifestation, that's a major indicator you are likely that instinct.

I relate to that very much, that's the sort of stuff I dislike talking about or being with someone like that.

That's a major indicator of sp-last.

Based on what you've related thus far, I'd say soc/sx is your best bet.