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  1. #1
    Member EndlessNameless's Avatar
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    Default 4w3, or 3? Please I really need help!

    Please I really need help to figure out which one of these two types am I? My ennea journey in abbreviation: I used to be very sure about being 4w5, but then I realised how much wrong I was and decided I am definetly a 4w3. I read a lot about 4w3s and I can relate to much from the description, so I also decided to learn something more about 3s and I was so suprised when I read it, because most of the characteristics seem to match me extremly well. Please will anyone be so nice, read my description and help me to figure this out?
    I think I might had typed me as 4, because of some inner prejudices against 3s. When I first read about them I could very much relate, but I thought about them as that selfish, snobbish part of me, that I am not sure if I really like, so I just reject to be a 3. But now I see that the part of me, that rejected the 3, was actually my snobbish, selfish part. My biggest life dream is to be famous and successful. But not like the other people, I feel like my life doesn't worth a shit if I am not famous. I feel like there is no life without being known by others, or at least somehow popular. I am very much an image orriented person, but I need my image to be original, match my personality and also current fashion, or trends. I hate to look like everyone else, I love to wear clothes, that attracted attention. I very much care about other's opinion and always try to please the expectations of others and also somehow my own. I extremly fear rejection. I need to feel accepted around others and kind of likeable. The problem is I have pretty bad experiences from my childhood, when I was a total outsider, bullied by classmates. That made me very shy and oversensitive. So even though I want attention, I fear it. I fear shame, I fear rejection, I fear I won't be good enough. I have low confidence, but always throw myself in wierd competitions like I compare myself with the girl that is stading next to me and think.. "oh she has a better style, than I do, but I am thinner, so I could be better, than her..." things like that, that I know are not matter, but my head is full of them. I always need to know if other noticed me, or saw me and what might be their reaction on myself...Even though I am very sensitive type, I never express my emotions. I feel like emotions are weakness. I try to stay a bit further from them, but after all I always throw myself into emotional situations and behavior. I usually express my feelings only privately throught poetry, art, or some hidden way. I am totally anti-relationship person.In relationship I have a problem to show my intimate and soft side. To objects of my interests I often behave sarcastically, ironically and somehow arrogant. I just need to proove myself I can live also without them and, that I am a free living being. I have a strong sense for inner pride. I wanna be successful, so I think relationships are barrier in my way. The problem is, even though I wanna be successful I have a terrible problem with self control, finishing projects, keeping my interest in things. I hate schedules, detailed work and I often do everything at the last minute. I am one lazy ass... I need tons of a freedom for my own self expression and I hate to feel tied up to one project, or person. I almost never finish anything I start, I have to be in the right mood to do something. That's why I sometimes feel very dissapointed with myself and even feel hate against my own being, that often leads me to self-pitty, or depressions. I have extremly high ideals, that I need to reach and always try to develope and be better.

  2. #2
    From the Undertow CuriousFeeling's Avatar
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    Sounds like 4w3 to me. Envy of others, self-pity, having a traumatic childhood experience, and wanting to be special, wanting to be unique. Those with a 3-wing will tend to want fame and stardom. 4w5's are more reserved and tend to have a "screw-it" approach when it comes to flowing with the rest of the crowd. 4w5's encounter envy as well, but we internalize it. The feelings tend to be bottled up and it's directed towards ourselves. 4w5's will become more withdrawn. 4w3's will ask for more attention.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

    Johari/Nohari

    “Thoughts are the shadows of our feelings -- always darker, emptier and simpler.”
    ― Friedrich Nietzsche




  3. #3
    Senior Member Mal12345's Avatar
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    @EndlessNameless

    To me, assuming either 4 or 3 are the choices, it depends on which is more prominent in your personality, narcissism or envy/depression. Apart from that, I thought your self-description was well done. But it's still hard to decide which is the main type and which is the wing.

    Question: Do you generally feel conflicted within yourself, or let's say, at odds with yourself?
    "Everyone has a plan till they get punched in the mouth." Mike Tyson
    “Culture?” says Paul McCartney. “This isn't culture. It's just a good laugh.”

  4. #4
    Stansmith
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    Narcissism and Envy/Depression can go hand-in-hand

  5. #5
    Senior Member Mal12345's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stansmith View Post
    Narcissism and Envy/Depression can go hand-in-hand
    Well yes, but I'm trying to determine which one is more prominent.
    "Everyone has a plan till they get punched in the mouth." Mike Tyson
    “Culture?” says Paul McCartney. “This isn't culture. It's just a good laugh.”

  6. #6
    Member EndlessNameless's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mal+ View Post
    @EndlessNameless

    To me, assuming either 4 or 3 are the choices, it depends on which is more prominent in your personality, narcissism or envy/depression. Apart from that, I thought your self-description was well done. But it's still hard to decide which is the main type and which is the wing.

    Question: Do you generally feel conflicted within yourself, or let's say, at odds with yourself?
    I feel much more in odds with myself... I am not narcistic, I have low self confidence and usually I am very critical, but I always try to be better and develop, the problem is I am never satisfied with who I am and I have high expectation from me and others. In general my behavior and emotional pattern are very much like 4, I can relate to almost all the decription of 4s, but my core need is not to be unique, my core need is to be popular, liked, seen, accepted by others and worst fear is to be rejected which are the problems of 3s not 4s, that's why I am not sure if I am 4, or 3.

  7. #7
    Senior Member Mal12345's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by EndlessNameless View Post
    I feel much more in odds with myself... I am not narcistic, I have low self confidence and usually I am very critical, but I always try to be better and develop, the problem is I am never satisfied with who I am and I have high expectation from me and others. In general my behavior and emotional pattern are very much like 4, I can relate to almost all the decription of 4s, but my core need is not to be unique, my core need is to be popular, liked, seen, accepted by others and worst fear is to be rejected which are the problems of 3s not 4s, that's why I am not sure if I am 4, or 3.
    That makes perfect sense CONSIDERING the fact that 3 IS your core, just as my core is 6 although I am a 5w4.
    "Everyone has a plan till they get punched in the mouth." Mike Tyson
    “Culture?” says Paul McCartney. “This isn't culture. It's just a good laugh.”

  8. #8
    Senior Member acronach's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by EndlessNameless View Post
    Even though I am very sensitive type, I never express my emotions. I feel like emotions are weakness. I try to stay a bit further from them, but after all I always throw myself into emotional situations and behavior. I usually express my feelings only privately throught poetry, art, or some hidden way. I am totally anti-relationship person.In relationship I have a problem to show my intimate and soft side. To objects of my interests I often behave sarcastically, ironically and somehow arrogant. I just need to proove myself I can live also without them and, that I am a free living being. I have a strong sense for inner pride. I wanna be successful, so I think relationships are barrier in my way.
    This screams out 4w5

    Quote Originally Posted by EndlessNameless View Post
    The problem is, even though I wanna be successful I have a terrible problem with self control, finishing projects, keeping my interest in things. I hate schedules, detailed work and I often do everything at the last minute. I am one lazy ass... I need tons of a freedom for my own self expression and I hate to feel tied up to one project, or person. I almost never finish anything I start, I have to be in the right mood to do something.
    That's just the "P" in your MBTI, don't feel ashamed of it, half the world feels exactly like this, including me
    Enneagram: Type 5, Dual Wing, SX/SP Instinct, Tritype 5-3w2-9w8
    MBTI: INTP

    Like a Baws

    Introverted (I) 57.14% Extroverted (E) 42.86%
    Intuitive (N) 63.16% Sensing (S) 36.84%
    Thinking (T) 70.37% Feeling (F) 29.63%
    Perceiving (P) 56.61% Judging (J) 43.39%

  9. #9
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    Default

    3w4

  10. #10
    Senior Member The Great One's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by EndlessNameless View Post
    Please I really need help to figure out which one of these two types am I? My ennea journey in abbreviation: I used to be very sure about being 4w5, but then I realised how much wrong I was and decided I am definetly a 4w3. I read a lot about 4w3s and I can relate to much from the description, so I also decided to learn something more about 3s and I was so suprised when I read it, because most of the characteristics seem to match me extremly well. Please will anyone be so nice, read my description and help me to figure this out?
    I think I might had typed me as 4, because of some inner prejudices against 3s. When I first read about them I could very much relate, but I thought about them as that selfish, snobbish part of me, that I am not sure if I really like, so I just reject to be a 3. But now I see that the part of me, that rejected the 3, was actually my snobbish, selfish part. My biggest life dream is to be famous and successful. But not like the other people, I feel like my life doesn't worth a shit if I am not famous. I feel like there is no life without being known by others, or at least somehow popular. I am very much an image orriented person, but I need my image to be original, match my personality and also current fashion, or trends. I hate to look like everyone else, I love to wear clothes, that attracted attention. I very much care about other's opinion and always try to please the expectations of others and also somehow my own. I extremly fear rejection. I need to feel accepted around others and kind of likeable. The problem is I have pretty bad experiences from my childhood, when I was a total outsider, bullied by classmates. That made me very shy and oversensitive. So even though I want attention, I fear it. I fear shame, I fear rejection, I fear I won't be good enough. I have low confidence, but always throw myself in wierd competitions like I compare myself with the girl that is stading next to me and think.. "oh she has a better style, than I do, but I am thinner, so I could be better, than her..." things like that, that I know are not matter, but my head is full of them. I always need to know if other noticed me, or saw me and what might be their reaction on myself...Even though I am very sensitive type, I never express my emotions. I feel like emotions are weakness. I try to stay a bit further from them, but after all I always throw myself into emotional situations and behavior. I usually express my feelings only privately throught poetry, art, or some hidden way. I am totally anti-relationship person.In relationship I have a problem to show my intimate and soft side. To objects of my interests I often behave sarcastically, ironically and somehow arrogant. I just need to proove myself I can live also without them and, that I am a free living being. I have a strong sense for inner pride. I wanna be successful, so I think relationships are barrier in my way. The problem is, even though I wanna be successful I have a terrible problem with self control, finishing projects, keeping my interest in things. I hate schedules, detailed work and I often do everything at the last minute. I am one lazy ass... I need tons of a freedom for my own self expression and I hate to feel tied up to one project, or person. I almost never finish anything I start, I have to be in the right mood to do something. That's why I sometimes feel very dissapointed with myself and even feel hate against my own being, that often leads me to self-pitty, or depressions. I have extremly high ideals, that I need to reach and always try to develope and be better.
    Why are you a self-pres dom? You seem like a social dom because everything you say involves getting acceptance, and fame in your community. Also, I also have always wanted to be famous and also believe fame to be the greatest sign of success. I definitely can't see you as 4w5 because you have a pretty powerful 3 fix or wing in their. I would say that you're either 4w3 or 3w2(sw4w3). I can't see you as 3w4 though, because they generally don't need all the praise and admiration from others. They tend to be more focused on just getting to the top, after all. It's the 3w2 generally that has the mindset of wanting to be praised for their accomplishments and worshiped by others.

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