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For Real This [one last] Time: INFJ or ISFJ?

Tabula

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The introversion and Fe parts are obvious to me at this point; the Pi is not, even though it's supposed to be my dominant. I'd been assuming I'm an ISFJ mostly by process of elimination, which probably isn't the best way to go about it. Also, the "magical, special, rare" parts in INFJ descriptions really puts me off. It feels sort of elitist and I don't want to associate myself with that. (I suspect though, that it has to do with the fact that I DID used to feel that way about myself [shamefully, and secretly. Shh.], and I've been trying this new thing where I actually consider reality in my opinions, beliefs, and estimations of myself). :mellow:

Feel free to ask questions or for clarification if need be. I'm not totally sure what sort of information, or how much of it, to share.

- I do prefer to have an idea of what I'm getting into before I go about doing it. I like to know what is expected of me. In this way, I'm more comfortable with the known and familiar.
-I always want to know/understand how to do something (and well!) before actually doing it, which is sort of silly. I'm decidedly not a risk-taker for this reason.
- For as uncomfortable as I am taking risks, I NEED variety. It can be small, or even internal variations, but they need to happen or I get stuck in routinized ruts of doom and despair without realizing it until after the fact. Blech.
- I am fascinated with and love people. I enjoy helping and taking care of others.
- I have trouble with being assertive, saying "no," taking on more than I can possibly accomplish, and people-pleasing in general. Working on it.
- I can become impatient and bored with theory for the sake of it.
- I have trouble recognizing and understanding my own emotional states, and how/to what extent they're informing my decisions.
- I have difficulty making friends and maintaining relationships. I alternate between being initially too intense, or too guarded; over-sharing, asking too many personal questions, or not sharing enough, and not seeming interested enough. It's hard for me to gauge.
- I know that I have unreasonably high expectations of myself, but not so much for other people. I don't like relying on anyone for anything, and I'm allergic to controlling others.
- Tense, chaotic environments beget a tense, chaotic Tabula; I simply can not handle it for too long when other people are upset, unsatisfied, or angry. It makes me feel kind of sick and it REALLY REALLY bothers me that I can't get that feeling to go away, even though I KNOW the feelings aren't even actually mine! So, emotional boundary issues, I guess.
- I'm a disorganized, procrastinate-y, chronically-late-for-everything slob, truth be told. :dry: I have a bad habit of rarely finishing anything I start, or prematurely stopping before I can really accomplish anything. I think that once I understand something, it loses its appeal.
- I'm a very low-energy, and sometimes embarrassingly unmotivated person. I change my mind too often about Big Life Decisions, such that I'm afraid even to make them, should I end up finding something better.
- I'm good with/love languages, acting, singing, dancing, playing guitar. I do damned good accents and impressions if I do say so myself. (I do.) :D

I've probably already blabbed too much. Let's add tendency toward long-windedness to that list. Heh. ;)
 
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Honor

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I'm going INFJ on this one.
 

Tabula

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Thank you both.

But, er. [MENTION=4489]zago[/MENTION] Where's the Fi? And Ne, for that matter? Unless you don't subscribe to function theory? Reading over what I wrote, it looks all Fe to me.

If I hadn't added the slob/disorganized/procrastinatey thing, or the indecisiveness regarding Big Ass Life Decisions, would you have still said INFP? Just curious.
 

Honor

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Thank you both.

But, er. [MENTION=4489]zago[/MENTION] Where's the Fi? And Ne, for that matter? Unless you don't subscribe to function theory? Reading over what I wrote, it looks all Fe to me.

If I hadn't added the slob/disorganized/procrastinatey thing, or the indecisiveness regarding Big Ass Life Decisions, would you have still said INFP? Just curious.
He probably wouldn't have. And no offense, but my INFJ best friend is one of the messiest, most indecisive and unproductive people I know. Not because she wants to be but because it's her reaction to the fact that she finds most of the external world upsetting. P/J is about how okay you are with leaving important things in doubt or open-ended, not about organization or even "decisiveness" persay.
 

zago

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Thank you both.

But, er. [MENTION=4489]zago[/MENTION] Where's the Fi? And Ne, for that matter? Unless you don't subscribe to function theory? Reading over what I wrote, it looks all Fe to me.

If I hadn't added the slob/disorganized/procrastinatey thing, or the indecisiveness regarding Big Ass Life Decisions, would you have still said INFP? Just curious.

Correct, that played a major part. Also the inability to say "no." INFPs in my book are famous for yessing people just to get them off their case and then not following through.

I also looked back at a couple of your started threads. One in particular struck me where you said you were doing daycare and some kid was doing throwing things or something and you wanted to let him have his fun even though it was kind of breaking the rules. That's a classic example of Ji over Je.
 

Tabula

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He probably wouldn't have. And no offense, but my INFJ best friend is one of the messiest, most indecisive and unproductive people I know. Not because she wants to be but because it's her reaction to the fact that she finds most of the external world upsetting. P/J is about how okay you are with leaving important things in doubt or open-ended, not about organization or even "decisiveness" persay.

:laugh: No offense taken (I mean, hey, I might not be an INFJ anyhow :D). Finding the external world upsetting? I could see that applying to a lot of introverts. My lack of productivity is equal parts fear and simple laziness; I tend to rely too much on inspiration to carry me through my work, when all that's really necessary to get going is to, uh, well... get going. Heh. Also, my process of figuring out What The Hell I'm Doing With My Life is comparable to sitting around and waiting for divine intervention. :dry: I'm never quite sure enough that I could spend the rest of my life doing X or Y, so I put it off and put it off, find more things to look into, put it off s'more, and so on.

Thank you for your input.

Correct, that played a major part. Also the inability to say "no." INFPs in my book are famous for yessing people just to get them off their case and then not following through.

I also looked back at a couple of your started threads. One in particular struck me where you said you were doing daycare and some kid was doing throwing things or something and you wanted to let him have his fun even though it was kind of breaking the rules. That's a classic example of Ji over Je.

Hm, okay. Granting the Ji part (and my obvious feeling preference), why INFP and not ISFP?
 

mintleaf

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Other than being people-oriented, what makes you think you use Fe?
 

Tabula

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Other than being people-oriented, what makes you think you use Fe?

I relate to everything about this description except the "keeping in touch" part:

The "social graces," such as being polite, being nice, being friendly, being considerate, and being appropriate, often revolve around the process of extraverted Feeling.

Keeping in touch, laughing at jokes when others laugh, and trying to get people to act kindly to each other also involve extraverted Feeling.

Using this process, we respond according to expressed or even unexpressed wants and needs of others.

We may ask people what they want or need or self-disclose to prompt them to talk more about themselves.

This often sparks conversation and lets us know more about them so we can better adjust our behavior to them.

Often with this process, we feel pulled to be responsible and take care of others' feelings, sometimes to the point of not separating our feelings from theirs.

We may recognize and adhere to shared values, feelings, and social norms to get along.


Also, I have no idea what I personally want, feel, or value most of the time--nevermind making decisions on the basis of this whole internal system built upon/with those.

And another also (using my super-extra-uber-scientifical typing method): I relate to FJs (and even TPs) more than FPs.
 
W

WALMART

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An Fe user would be way more likely to let kids run amok and do as they feel, express themselves and such.


I think you're IxFJ, but I wanna say ISFJ just because they're so unicorny around here :blush:
 

greenfairy

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I can't relate each of these things necessarily to ISFJ, but pretty much all of it reminds me of my mom and she's ISFJ. Including the disorganized, messy, lazy, indecisive parts. I'm sure she's ISFJ because she's definitely S and she's so inferior Ne it's comical. Have you read about the inferior functions? They're a really good way to pinpoint your type if you are deciding between dominant functions.

Here's how I relate each of your observations to the functions/type:
- I do prefer to have an idea of what I'm getting into before I go about doing it. I like to know what is expected of me. In this way, I'm more comfortable with the known and familiar.
-I always want to know/understand how to do something (and well!) before actually doing it, which is sort of silly. I'm decidedly not a risk-taker for this reason.
Si
- For as uncomfortable as I am taking risks, I NEED variety. It can be small, or even internal variations, but they need to happen or I get stuck in routinized ruts of doom and despair without realizing it until after the fact. Blech.
Inferior Ne, balancing out dominant Si.
- I am fascinated with and love people. I enjoy helping and taking care of others.
F-Si
- I have trouble with being assertive, saying "no," taking on more than I can possibly accomplish, and people-pleasing in general. Working on it.
SFJ; feeling+SJ. Also ISFJ's tend to be conflict avoidant (until they explode and discharge their built up resentment).
- I can become impatient and bored with theory for the sake of it.
Can be any type, but more common among S's.
- I have trouble recognizing and understanding my own emotional states, and how/to what extent they're informing my decisions.
I've heard this said by several INFJ's. Fe is the more impersonal (interpersonal) feeling function, so combined with tertiary Ti and Pi as the dominant, it leads one to try to see the big picture and objective truth (or concrete facts if S) before incorporating personal feeling.
- I have difficulty making friends and maintaining relationships. I alternate between being initially too intense, or too guarded; over-sharing, asking too many personal questions, or not sharing enough, and not seeming interested enough. It's hard for me to gauge.
I don't know, but this is kind of true of my mom. Fe can be too open and Si too guarded? Or you could be Aspie...(I suspect she is).
- I know that I have unreasonably high expectations of myself, but not so much for other people. I don't like relying on anyone for anything, and I'm allergic to controlling others.
This does sound like INFP, but I think it's also compatible with ISFJ. Having high standards and expectations is typical of INFJ's, but I'm really thinking S so far. SJ's would rather do something themselves and become useful than risk conflict by complaining most of the time. It can be a little passive-aggressive, but Fe is oriented towards being aware of others and their needs and anticipating what needs to be done, so they expect it of other people. And J tends to lead one to take on responsibility.
- Tense, chaotic environments beget a tense, chaotic Tabula; I simply can not handle it for too long when other people are upset, unsatisfied, or angry. It makes me feel kind of sick and it REALLY REALLY bothers me that I can't get that feeling to go away, even though I KNOW the feelings aren't even actually mine! So, emotional boundary issues, I guess.
Fe stored in the body as Si. Without a doubt. Fe empathy vs. Fi sympathy.
- I'm a disorganized, procrastinate-y, chronically-late-for-everything slob, truth be told. :dry: I have a bad habit of rarely finishing anything I start, or prematurely stopping before I can really accomplish anything. I think that once I understand something, it loses its appeal.
Not sure how this relates, but like I say it is true of my mom. Maybe too much Si inertia and living in the moment?
- I'm a very low-energy, and sometimes embarrassingly unmotivated person. I change my mind too often about Big Life Decisions, such that I'm afraid even to make them, should I end up finding something better.
Si + inferior Ne distrusting the future and shooting down every possibility. Possibilities are overwhelming, so you avoid them.
- I'm good with/love languages, acting, singing, dancing, playing guitar. I do damned good accents and impressions if I do say so myself. (I do.) :D
Fe+Si+Ne+Ti, not necessarily in that order.

I've probably already blabbed too much. Let's add tendency toward long-windedness to that list. Heh. ;)
also a trait of my mom ;)


I hope this helps.
 

Tabula

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An Fe user would be way more likely to let kids run amok and do as they feel, express themselves and such.


I think you're IxFJ, but I wanna say ISFJ just because they're so unicorny around here :blush:

I wanna be a unicorn! :happy2:

Really though, for the first part? I'd think that'd be way more Fi-ish than anything--wanting kids to express their individuality regardless of the established rules blah-de-blah blah. But okay. :)

[MENTION=15773]greenfairy[/MENTION]

Thank you so much for taking the time to write all of that for me. It does make sense to me. (Though I'm DEFINITELY not an Aspie, lol. :laugh:). I had looked into inferiors and how they play out type-wise, which still made me feel stuck between both IxFJs. I do relate to inferior Se, though I suppose I could just chalk it up to having terrible command of my Se function in general, though. I'm really not a "live in the moment" sort of person. Having ADHD doesn't really help, either. Heh. Thank you again.
 

mintleaf

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Tabula, this isn't related to your question at all, but I'm curious -- did you choose that name before or after realizing you were a 9w1? I've seen 9w1's referred to as Tabula Rasae, so that'd be an interesting coincidence if you chose it without knowing.

Ne is related to living in the moment, too. Even though you seem to have a good command of Ne, there were many lines in your OP that implicated it as your inferior function, as greenfairy pointed out.

I think you're an ISFJ who defies many ISFJ stereotypes.
 

Tabula

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[MENTION=17424]decrescendo[/MENTION]

I'd thought I was an INTP 5 before I joined here (and for a bit while I was here, too). Really, it was a result of depression stemming from my self-imposed 4ish years living as a hermit and thinking that any outside influence was tantamount to destroying my self-concept, which I was attempting to figure out, understand, and "build" on the basis of logic alone. Blank slate.

Of course, no [wo]man is an island, and I am no exception. My desire to make something of myself and the realization that I was not really functioning was what pulled me out of my hermit-dom and incited the desire to get some professional help. Now, after a couple diagnoses, exposure therapy, medication, and a generally healthier disposition, I realize that not only are people more than annoying, unwanted influences, but they're central to who I am, in a manner of speaking.

Hope that makes sense, and thank you for your input! :)
 

Julius_Van_Der_Beak

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INFJ. You don't really mention any sensing type things in there, except for acting/singing/dancing. I also think Ni would have a harder time recognizing internal emotional states than Si. Emotional states register partially as physical sensations, and so a Si type should be in tune with that.

Wanting to '"know how to do something before doing it," could just as well fit with Ni and needing to imagine a "vision" of how to proceed before acting. I don't encounter any reference to concrete symbols or mythology in your post. The focus just isn't right for Si.

Although, I agree with superunknown regarding wanting you to be an isfj because of their "unicorny" nature.
 

mintleaf

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[MENTION=17424]decrescendo[/MENTION]

I'd thought I was an INTP 5 before I joined here (and for a bit while I was here, too). Really, it was a result of depression stemming from my self-imposed 4ish years living as a hermit and thinking that any outside influence was tantamount to destroying my self-concept, which I was attempting to figure out, understand, and "build" on the basis of logic alone. Blank slate.

Of course, no [wo]man is an island, and I am no exception. My desire to make something of myself and the realization that I was not really functioning was what pulled me out of my hermit-dom and incited the desire to get some professional help. Now, after a couple diagnoses, exposure therapy, medication, and a generally healthier disposition, I realize that not only are people more than annoying, unwanted influences, but they're central to who I am, in a manner of speaking.

Hope that makes sense, and thank you for your input! :)

Now I'm leaning towards INFJ. Because of
1. the obvious N-ness of this response; if you were a depressed ISFJ, I doubt you would have been so interested in self-concept and logic. healthy ISFJs are often intellectually curious and introspective, but I've never seen them go down those roads during times of stress.
2. how your experience correlates to mine:

I thought I was an INFP, but it turned out that I had been in a dom-tert loop, hyper-focusing on my tertiary function, Fi (and Ni) -> really an INTJ
You thought you were an INTP, but it seems that you were in a dom-tert loop, hyper-focusing on your tertiary function, Ti (and Ni) -> really an INFJ?
 

greenfairy

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I'd thought I was an INTP 5 before I joined here (and for a bit while I was here, too). Really, it was a result of depression stemming from my self-imposed 4ish years living as a hermit and thinking that any outside influence was tantamount to destroying my self-concept, which I was attempting to figure out, understand, and "build" on the basis of logic alone. Blank slate.

Of course, no [wo]man is an island, and I am no exception. My desire to make something of myself and the realization that I was not really functioning was what pulled me out of my hermit-dom and incited the desire to get some professional help. Now, after a couple diagnoses, exposure therapy, medication, and a generally healthier disposition, I realize that not only are people more than annoying, unwanted influences, but they're central to who I am, in a manner of speaking.

Hope that makes sense, and thank you for your input! :)
Si-Ti loop?

INTP/ISFJ: Ti/Si or Si/Ti--Schizotypal Personality Disorder. I see this most commonly in INTP dom/tert loops (Ti+Si), resulting in totally giving up on attempting to obtain the social/interpersonal connections that inferior Fe drives them to unconsciously desire. Schizotypal people are seen (and typically see themselves) as having such unusual thoughts and behaviors that widespread social acceptance is nearly impossible. Ti thinks, "I cannot find any logical explanation for social rituals" and Si reinforces this self-isolating, risk-averse behavior by constantly reminding the user: "Remember how badly this went last time you tried?" If Ne were doing its job, it would remind the user to continue experimenting to find a new approach. In the ISFJ version, Si becomes ultra risk-averse and refuses to try anything new or unfamiliar. If Fe were doing its job, the ISFJ would learn that some risk is necessary in order to uphold obligations to others and avoid living in total solitude. Deep down, these types really do want social connection and ritual (Fe), but have found themselves so poor at it that they simply give up trying.

Not a very good description for ISFJ, but sounds like getting stuck in personal experience and routine and shutting out outside influences- because they have experienced negative results in the past and decide socializing doesn't work. And the self discovery thing sounds kind of consistent with it.
You thought you were an INTP, but it seems that you were in a dom-tert loop, hyper-focusing on your tertiary function, Ti (and Ni) -> really an INFJ?
Or perhaps this. I'm not ruling out INFJ, but ISFJ is my guess.
 

Tabula

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Interesting.

I guess either of those would make sense--Si-Ti loop, or Ni-Ti loop--which is part of the reason I don't really buy the idea of dom-tert loops. Heh. It's fun to think about, though.

Any good ways to tell apart Ni and Si? They seem so different; I'm not sure why it's so difficult for me to figure out. Hm.
 
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