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  1. #1
    Senior Member Tabula's Avatar
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    Default For Real This [one last] Time: INFJ or ISFJ?

    The introversion and Fe parts are obvious to me at this point; the Pi is not, even though it's supposed to be my dominant. I'd been assuming I'm an ISFJ mostly by process of elimination, which probably isn't the best way to go about it. Also, the "magical, special, rare" parts in INFJ descriptions really puts me off. It feels sort of elitist and I don't want to associate myself with that. (I suspect though, that it has to do with the fact that I DID used to feel that way about myself [shamefully, and secretly. Shh.], and I've been trying this new thing where I actually consider reality in my opinions, beliefs, and estimations of myself).

    Feel free to ask questions or for clarification if need be. I'm not totally sure what sort of information, or how much of it, to share.

    - I do prefer to have an idea of what I'm getting into before I go about doing it. I like to know what is expected of me. In this way, I'm more comfortable with the known and familiar.
    -I always want to know/understand how to do something (and well!) before actually doing it, which is sort of silly. I'm decidedly not a risk-taker for this reason.
    - For as uncomfortable as I am taking risks, I NEED variety. It can be small, or even internal variations, but they need to happen or I get stuck in routinized ruts of doom and despair without realizing it until after the fact. Blech.
    - I am fascinated with and love people. I enjoy helping and taking care of others.
    - I have trouble with being assertive, saying "no," taking on more than I can possibly accomplish, and people-pleasing in general. Working on it.
    - I can become impatient and bored with theory for the sake of it.
    - I have trouble recognizing and understanding my own emotional states, and how/to what extent they're informing my decisions.
    - I have difficulty making friends and maintaining relationships. I alternate between being initially too intense, or too guarded; over-sharing, asking too many personal questions, or not sharing enough, and not seeming interested enough. It's hard for me to gauge.
    - I know that I have unreasonably high expectations of myself, but not so much for other people. I don't like relying on anyone for anything, and I'm allergic to controlling others.
    - Tense, chaotic environments beget a tense, chaotic Tabula; I simply can not handle it for too long when other people are upset, unsatisfied, or angry. It makes me feel kind of sick and it REALLY REALLY bothers me that I can't get that feeling to go away, even though I KNOW the feelings aren't even actually mine! So, emotional boundary issues, I guess.
    - I'm a disorganized, procrastinate-y, chronically-late-for-everything slob, truth be told. I have a bad habit of rarely finishing anything I start, or prematurely stopping before I can really accomplish anything. I think that once I understand something, it loses its appeal.
    - I'm a very low-energy, and sometimes embarrassingly unmotivated person. I change my mind too often about Big Life Decisions, such that I'm afraid even to make them, should I end up finding something better.
    - I'm good with/love languages, acting, singing, dancing, playing guitar. I do damned good accents and impressions if I do say so myself. (I do.)

    I've probably already blabbed too much. Let's add tendency toward long-windedness to that list. Heh.
    Last edited by Tabula; 06-14-2013 at 08:42 AM.

  2. #2
    girl with a pretty smile Honor's Avatar
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    I'm going INFJ on this one.

  3. #3
    Senior Member zago's Avatar
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    You're an INFP.

  4. #4
    Senior Member Tabula's Avatar
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    Thank you both.

    But, er. @zago Where's the Fi? And Ne, for that matter? Unless you don't subscribe to function theory? Reading over what I wrote, it looks all Fe to me.

    If I hadn't added the slob/disorganized/procrastinatey thing, or the indecisiveness regarding Big Ass Life Decisions, would you have still said INFP? Just curious.

  5. #5
    girl with a pretty smile Honor's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tabula View Post
    Thank you both.

    But, er. @zago Where's the Fi? And Ne, for that matter? Unless you don't subscribe to function theory? Reading over what I wrote, it looks all Fe to me.

    If I hadn't added the slob/disorganized/procrastinatey thing, or the indecisiveness regarding Big Ass Life Decisions, would you have still said INFP? Just curious.
    He probably wouldn't have. And no offense, but my INFJ best friend is one of the messiest, most indecisive and unproductive people I know. Not because she wants to be but because it's her reaction to the fact that she finds most of the external world upsetting. P/J is about how okay you are with leaving important things in doubt or open-ended, not about organization or even "decisiveness" persay.

  6. #6
    Senior Member zago's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tabula View Post
    Thank you both.

    But, er. @zago Where's the Fi? And Ne, for that matter? Unless you don't subscribe to function theory? Reading over what I wrote, it looks all Fe to me.

    If I hadn't added the slob/disorganized/procrastinatey thing, or the indecisiveness regarding Big Ass Life Decisions, would you have still said INFP? Just curious.
    Correct, that played a major part. Also the inability to say "no." INFPs in my book are famous for yessing people just to get them off their case and then not following through.

    I also looked back at a couple of your started threads. One in particular struck me where you said you were doing daycare and some kid was doing throwing things or something and you wanted to let him have his fun even though it was kind of breaking the rules. That's a classic example of Ji over Je.

  7. #7
    Senior Member Tabula's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Honor View Post
    He probably wouldn't have. And no offense, but my INFJ best friend is one of the messiest, most indecisive and unproductive people I know. Not because she wants to be but because it's her reaction to the fact that she finds most of the external world upsetting. P/J is about how okay you are with leaving important things in doubt or open-ended, not about organization or even "decisiveness" persay.
    No offense taken (I mean, hey, I might not be an INFJ anyhow ). Finding the external world upsetting? I could see that applying to a lot of introverts. My lack of productivity is equal parts fear and simple laziness; I tend to rely too much on inspiration to carry me through my work, when all that's really necessary to get going is to, uh, well... get going. Heh. Also, my process of figuring out What The Hell I'm Doing With My Life is comparable to sitting around and waiting for divine intervention. I'm never quite sure enough that I could spend the rest of my life doing X or Y, so I put it off and put it off, find more things to look into, put it off s'more, and so on.

    Thank you for your input.

    Quote Originally Posted by zago View Post
    Correct, that played a major part. Also the inability to say "no." INFPs in my book are famous for yessing people just to get them off their case and then not following through.

    I also looked back at a couple of your started threads. One in particular struck me where you said you were doing daycare and some kid was doing throwing things or something and you wanted to let him have his fun even though it was kind of breaking the rules. That's a classic example of Ji over Je.
    Hm, okay. Granting the Ji part (and my obvious feeling preference), why INFP and not ISFP?

  8. #8
    Senior Member zago's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tabula View Post
    Hm, okay. Granting the Ji part (and my obvious feeling preference), why INFP and not ISFP?
    You seem to be more big-picture. Forest and not the trees.

  9. #9
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    Other than being people-oriented, what makes you think you use Fe?

  10. #10
    Senior Member Tabula's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by decrescendo View Post
    Other than being people-oriented, what makes you think you use Fe?
    I relate to everything about this description except the "keeping in touch" part:

    The "social graces," such as being polite, being nice, being friendly, being considerate, and being appropriate, often revolve around the process of extraverted Feeling.

    Keeping in touch, laughing at jokes when others laugh, and trying to get people to act kindly to each other also involve extraverted Feeling.

    Using this process, we respond according to expressed or even unexpressed wants and needs of others.

    We may ask people what they want or need or self-disclose to prompt them to talk more about themselves.

    This often sparks conversation and lets us know more about them so we can better adjust our behavior to them.

    Often with this process, we feel pulled to be responsible and take care of others' feelings, sometimes to the point of not separating our feelings from theirs.

    We may recognize and adhere to shared values, feelings, and social norms to get along.

    Also, I have no idea what I personally want, feel, or value most of the time--nevermind making decisions on the basis of this whole internal system built upon/with those.

    And another also (using my super-extra-uber-scientifical typing method): I relate to FJs (and even TPs) more than FPs.

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