Second guessing myself...
Either I'm a very socially-strong Sx, or a very sexually-strong So.
Many people have said I don't register intensity enough to be Sx/So. It's a fair point. In comparison to some Sx-doms I know, I am not nearly up to their level. I am not particularly polarizing unless I am very angry... I relate so strongly to Sx but I don't seem to exude it. From my standpoint, at times I am baffled by the strength of force that some Sx-doms unleash without curbing it for others' sake.
My understanding of my instinct is to immerse. I want to become part of everything, to sink into deep connection with it all. My primary values are love and unity. I am happiest when I am amongst a small group of the people who matter most to me - my family and boyfriend, particularly in immersive environments (as in, a very consistent feeling-invoking atmosphere, such as nature, cityscape, earthy spa, luxurious resort, cozy home, elegant restaurant, etc). I have a very strong internal sense of hierarchy - who comes before who - and will have a very hard time attending to a "lower-order person" (eg a casual friend) when there is a "higher-order" person (eg family) around, unless I am doing it at the pleasure of the higher-order person. Sp-last manifests in my lack of desire or attention to drawing boundaries between myself and other things, and neglecting self-upkeep as a result - if I keep up with myself in Sp terms, it's generally for the sake of allowing my life to continue operating optimally, not for my personal pleasure.
I strongly empathize with "the Sx/So ideal is not to run away but to stand and fight, tearing down the walls and breaking all chains" (Bumblyjack, PerC). Rarely do I rip everything apart, for the sake of harmony, but I feel like my natural inclination is towards "purifying". Nothing is more satisfying than a discussion that removes all the barriers and lays everything out on the table, that exposes everyone's hearts and purest desires and allows us to build off of truth rather than illusion. I believe that at the core level, with all illusion removed, we all resonate with one another, so if we are all exposed we are all united, and if we are all truly united then we are all exposed. It's the ideal state of existence because it allows everyone the best chance at self-actualization.
My intensity/volatility comes out most in my close relationships... it's a combination of caring more about those close relationships and therefore reserving most of my energy for them plus understanding that there is a level of safety in close relationships that does not exist in outer spheres, due to the bond already formed - though of course sometimes I am pushed to my limit and give a less-close person a hellish litany of infuriation. I can give you a short history of my life plotted by "periods" of my romantic interests, and how that person colored each period. It's almost like a zeitgeist, an overall amalgamation of my environment and values and desires represented by a singular person. Addictive tendencies are strong in me. I also experience the dreaded push-pull... WANT WANT WANTing what I don't have, and then questioning it once I'm in it. I move through cycles of immersion/ecstasy and withdrawal/doubt. I have always felt things the strongest when in a liminal state - both ecstasy and heartwrenching despair. I miss the frequency of ecstatic feelings in liminality, but I also enjoy the grounded pride of stability, and still manage to squeeze some ecstasy in!
I'm not an exhibitionist, but I don't balk at kissing in public. I do strongly dislike saying "I love you" in public to my SO - it feels too private to exhibit, at least with us not having a formal social commitment. I share personal truths and lay my own issues bare, but I don't share family or relationship struggles because I feel that it is inappropriate to expose my loved ones like that. I don't reveal financial issues for the same reason - it feels inappropriate. I shy from political argumentation, as though I have strong feelings on the matter, I dislike personal confrontation and prefer a proper debate forum where it is less personal. I am strongly interested in sociopolitical reform but do not take as much action towards it as I ought to. I have these great visions of change but often am preoccupied with my own little sphere, and am shy approaching groups. I acknowledge authorities for their position's functionality and their willingness to serve the common good but respect their power entirely on the basis of whether they use it responsibly, and do not feel a compulsion to side with them (beyond maintaining my job/legal security) or to see them as anything beyond people in a position. I find cults of personality to be very bizarre... the only people I idealize are fictional characters.
I generally feel like Sx is in the driver's seat with So restrictions buffering from every side, but perhaps it's the other way around, with an So unity lead supported by immersive Sx connections. I don't relate well to some classically So elements like keeping abreast of cultural trends. I feel like my native "sphere" of comfortable interaction and attention is quite small, though I desire to be universally connected.
Beh, opinions and/or guidance would be appreciated.