I've kind of typed myself after taking tests and reading through enneagram types as a 9w1 INFP but I thought getting some input would be awesome if some people don't mind :) I'm a bit meh on the 9w1 - I actually used to think I was 4w3ish - because I've read some people talk about perfectionism and peace above all else which both aren't primary goals for me, although the relating to everything thing definitely applies. The enneagram is just a lot hazier for me than the MBTI - although even my INFP has been getting a little iffy for me lately, so if anything jumps out to you there please feel free to comment (: Sorry for how disorganised this is too >_> and thank you for your time!
What age range are you in? leaving 10s next year.
Any disorders or conditions we should know about? Nope
1. What do you think your life is about? What drives you in life? This can be something like a goal or a purpose, or anything else that comes to mind.
Nothing has ever really been a concrete drive in my life - I feel like I'm still searching for passion, for a long-term goal, some tangible horizon. Primary and secondary and pre-university were a series of short-term goals for me, with hazy aspirations that were usually disappointed because of my own laziness. I'm a little worried because I'll be leaving formal education now, but I'm pretty excited about university because I think I'll enjoy it. That could be the drive now - enjoyment. Or maybe my drive is just this: to find a drive. My purpose for now is to find a meaning for my life. Vaguely, though, I know it'll have to do somehow with people - helping them in some way.
2. What were you like as a kid?
Confident, bossy, hot-tempered; typical of an only child, maybe. Not malicious but used to getting her own way. Vibrant, curious, outspoken. Self-righteous, with very strong values and opinions.
3. Describe your relationship with your parents. Does anything stand out about the way you interacted?
I'm really close to both my parents, but closer to my mom. No boat-rocking whatsoever. I know they trust me, and it feels really good.
4. What values are important to you? What do you hope to avoid doing or being?
Integrity, compassion, loyalty, but I see value in all virtues. I hope to avoid being some of the things I was as a kid - the bossy bit especially. Being a bit more generous, less quick to judge, more open-minded and forgiving - just a bigger person in general.
5. Aside from phobias, are there any fears that characterized your childhood? Have they continued into the present day, or not, and if not, how have you dealt with them?
I've always been really scared of the dark… lol. I've probably gotten more fearful since childhood - the couple of run-ins I've had with the uglier side of human nature (especially pubescent girls… lol) has made me thus. I guess a bit of social anxiety and fear of public-speaking, but not anything too out of the ordinary I think. I haven't done anything about them. Hmm…
6. a.) How do you see yourself? Somewhat private, easygoing, independent, comfortable with myself. Lazy. Calm. A little sad. Sensitive, but not nearly as sentimental or emotional as some of my closer friends think I am. A little different.
b.) How do you want others to see you? I guess - confident, calm, trustworthy, principled, humorous, sensitive. Wise, intelligent. Kind. Someone they can talk to. But it's not really concrete; it's not an image I consciously try to project (except confident - I try to seem that consciously) - just seeing me as a good person, someone likeable will do, really. And intelligent, maybe. I like that. Lol.
c.) What do you dislike the most in other people? Insensitivity. ￼Taking others - me - for granted. Malice.
7. Which habit do you most automatically act on? Rank the following habits from most to least automatic, on a scale of 1 (most) to 3 (least).
a.) Work for personal gain with more concern for self than for others. (3)
b.) Strive for a sense of tranquility in yourself and the world around you. (2)
c.) Decide what is right for the betterment of something or someone else. (1)
8. Where does the wandering mind take you? What provokes this?
Daydreams of the future. Things I wish I'd said. Regret, probably, and the hope that the future will be better.
9. What makes you feel your best? What makes you feel your worst?
I don't know how to pick something specific for a question so general… umm… I guess feeling like I'm important to somebody makes me feel my best, like when they notice something about me... not physically, but have drawn some conclusion about my personality based on what they've observed about me, whether it's how I'm feeling or a personality trait that I don't think is too obvious. And conversely feeling like I mean nothing - when that person means something to me - makes me feel my worst.
10. Let's talk about emotions. Explain what might make you feel the following, how they feel to you or how you react to the emotion:
a.) anger - the latest case has been someone close to me getting hurt emotionally by someone they should have been able to trust. That made me flaming mad. Personally I don't get angry too often because I don't usually care enough to get angry - usually it's probably a by-product of disappointment.
b.) shame - feeling the way I do about certain things; like jealousy of a close friend, or being lazy to help a family member even though I know they'd do the same for me.
c.) anxiety - large-scale social interaction. I am rarely excited to go to a gathering where there are people I'm not close to, even if there are also going to be ones there with whom I am. Also, sometimes, when people depend on me for something I'm not confident in. I'm scared of letting people down. And lately the thought that I'm missing out on something.
11. Describe how you respond to the following:
a.) stress - I don't get stressed easily, and even when I am I roll with it. I take things one step at a time. I think I perform under stress, actually, if only because I handle it comparatively better than most people. The times I do crack I cry a bit, wallow for a while, then do my best to suck it up. Lol.
b.) negative unexpected change - similar to ^. Adapt. Even if it bowls me over it's a matter of time before I'm back on my feet.
c.) conflict - I don't really like it but it's a part of life. I'd do my best to resolve it, whether it's my own or someone else's.
12. a.) What kind of role are you naturally inclined to take in a group? Why?
With older and closer friends I think I'm funny, considered the 'naive one', the one who volunteers information and suggests places to go. For the rest it depends on what sort of group I'm in - I adapt to the situation, or whatever the situation calls for. An orientation group where no-one's talking to each other? I'm the outgoing one that gathers people around for a joke session. Outside of my close friends and those sorts of situations though I think I'm friendly but distant. People find me a little intimidating, but kind; someone responsible. Yeah, I guess that'd fit? "The Responsible One". Bleh.
b.) If put in power, how do you behave? Why?
Hesitant. I don't really like authority positions. I used to as a kid, and it does give me a kick even now because someone thinks that highly of me; but the reality is a lot less glamorous than my idealised version of it, obviously. I try my best to be a thoughtful and receptive leader (not too sure about how well I succeed at it). I can be a little lazy but I think for the most part I do try to see it through to the end to the best of my ability... I think. Actually no, I hope. T_T
c.) Do you tend to struggle with others who have authority over you? Why?
Not unless they do something that conflicts with a personal belief.
13. What do you see or notice in others that most people don't?
Sometimes I feel like I get vibes off people that others don't, but it's not often and not usually confirmed or denied because I'm not really close to them/pay attention to them after that. I'm a bit better at noticing emotional states too I think, and what drives other people or reasons for peculiar behaviour.
14. Comment on your relationship with trust.
Lately it's been pretty smooth-sailing I think. I trust 'til I have a reason not to, but generally I don't care enough (that sounds horrible) or depend enough on someone else to be disappointed if they fall through.
15. Briefly: What religious and/or political beliefs do you have? Do you think they influenced your responses in this questionnaire?
I am definitely a theist (not a very good one though I think lol), and not really.
Optional Question (due to personal nature)
Discuss an event that has impacted your life significantly; more importantly, how you responded to it.
Definitely when I was ostracised/bullied in school when I was 11-12; I'm not entirely sure what set it off but to me it was because I decided to stay the friend of a girl who my hobby club had decided to outcast, which I solved by becoming the new target :p I think I'm over it, but I'm not entirely sure - it's a cause of some bitterness for me and I generally regard the girls involved with some trepidation, but one of them has become one of my closest friends (slowly but from what I remember surprisingly painlessly). She isn't really open to talking about it though lol. This period in my life is pretty hazy for me though - not sure if it's because of the time that's passed or my own sort of defense mechanism. From what I remember I did try to confront some of the people involved about it, particular the ones I thought were my friends - they weren't really forthcoming. But I clammed up otherwise when it happened; didn't talk to anyone about it I think, not my family, not my friends. Pubescent angst all around. I was lucky though because I still had really close friends in class and thus some sort of affirmation - I'm not still close to these friends, unfortunately, but I still care about them. This angst went on into age 13 and half of 14. I was just a really angry 13-year-old who had what my friends called a 'pissed-off disease' (which they communicated via note paper that I, unfortunately, caught wind of… man, that really hurt) but thank God I had joined a extra-curricular activity that forced me to grow up. I joined symphonic band, and anyone who's been in it knows it requires a lot of discipline and focus. Band gave me goals, it gave me guidance - my seniors are still some of my favourite people around - and a direction.
..Was that too much? Haha.
Which of the following temptations do you find yourself acting upon the most? (And briefly state why)
- To constantly push yourself to be “the best” - not really; I wish I was more like this, though… I feel like I've let myself and the people around me down a lot because I wasn't more of a perfectionist.
- To be without needs, well-intentioned - if I've interpreted this the right way, yes. I've just always wanted to be a person who can do things wholeheartedly, altruistically, without expecting anything in return or with a hidden agenda in mind.
- To replace direct experience with concepts - I guess is somewhat true as a response to my general laziness. Usually through books.
- To have an extreme sense of personal moral obligation - somewhat; while I'm driven to be what I can consider a 'good person', I dislike having too much responsibility. I don't like the guilt that comes with disappointing certain expectations, although the guilt comes regardless when you think of what might have been. :/
- To think that fulfilment is somewhere else - yep, the 'grass is greener' syndrome is strong with this one. Even when I tell myself to be satisfied with something I never really am.
- To cyclically become indecisive and seek others for reassurance - not really, I think. I'm pretty used to muddling along by myself. If I consult someone, which isn't too often, I take it into consideration as another viewpoint but it isn't what is going to define my decision. .
- To overuse imagination in searching for yourself - yes. Sometimes I think I live in my head.
- To avoid conflicts and asserting yourself - yes, unless it conflicts with personal values. Otherwise I think I generally keep my opinions to myself. And ofc no conflict is better than some conflict.
- To consider yourself entirely self-sufficient - yes, I dislike depending on other people because of the times I've been let down, I guess.
What's something you are: a.) thankful you have b.) wish you could have? Why?
a) My family, first, last, always. My grades, which I don't really deserve. The freedom I have; some of the traits that make me a little different from other people, a little kinder and more flexible.
b) Again, not too sure how to pin down. ^ Proper gratitude for the grades I don't really deserve? Lol. Maybe the opportunities that some people are having right now in this time of university admissions? Haha. There's nothing really I want for emotionally; probably the most damaging thing I'm suffering now is battered esteem from constantly comparing myself to other people. But even that is manageable, and something I'm dealing with day-to-day. So yep :)
Thanks for reading, sorry if it got kind of long-winded (:
Edit: actually, after editing this post like 5 times fixing weird sentences and whatever, maybe I am more of a perfectionist than I thought... lol. Not really for the things that matter though -_-